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(Daily Mail)   Cool: you can now get that mansion you've wanted your entire life, and it will cost you less than $1,000. Not cool: you have to live in Detroit (pics)   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 132
    More: Scary, Detroit  
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17732 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2014 at 12:15 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



132 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-14 10:14:00 AM  
img.diynetwork.com
Just get her on the case, and those will all be biatchin' houses in no time.
 
2014-05-14 10:48:54 AM  
So, is there no homelessness in Detroit?  Because with houses going for $1,000, you could offer a whole lot of beds a lot cheaper than running a shelter.  Sure there is upkeep and maybe some taxes (do you really have to pay property taxes on a home valued at $1,000?).  No one should be living on the street in that city.
 
2014-05-14 11:04:48 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: (do you really have to pay property taxes on a home valued at $1,000?)


I odn't know if they're still doing it (they shouldn't be) but Detroit used to hold new owners responsible for former owner's unpaid property taxes via liens on the property, which meant even if you picked up a house for a dollar you could still owe 200 grand in taxes.

However, from the "Building Detroit" website:

If there were any property taxes still due from previous years, the Land Bank will resolve them before the closing. The winning bidder will not be responsible for them.

Sounds like they finally got smart about it.
 
2014-05-14 11:20:56 AM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: So, is there no homelessness in Detroit?  Because with houses going for $1,000, you could offer a whole lot of beds a lot cheaper than running a shelter.  Sure there is upkeep and maybe some taxes (do you really have to pay property taxes on a home valued at $1,000?).  No one should be living on the street in that city.


Most of these cheap homes need massive amounts of work. Electrical, heating, plumbing, foundation, roof, structural, etc. Plus with older homes you have issues with lead, Asbestos, and other environmental concerns. Yeah the house may be $1000 but to get it liveable you need to dump a lot of money into them to bring them up to code.
 
2014-05-14 11:43:15 AM  
I'll have to admit it's tempting.
 
2014-05-14 11:54:13 AM  

Tellingthem: Three Crooked Squirrels: So, is there no homelessness in Detroit?  Because with houses going for $1,000, you could offer a whole lot of beds a lot cheaper than running a shelter.  Sure there is upkeep and maybe some taxes (do you really have to pay property taxes on a home valued at $1,000?).  No one should be living on the street in that city.

Most of these cheap homes need massive amounts of work. Electrical, heating, plumbing, foundation, roof, structural, etc. Plus with older homes you have issues with lead, Asbestos, and other environmental concerns. Yeah the house may be $1000 but to get it liveable you need to dump a lot of money into them to bring them up to code.


I guess I get that it's not as easy as dropping a few homeless guys into a house with $1,000 in their pocket.  It just seems like with real estate as low as it is in Detroit, they could be (and maybe are) doing something creative.
 
2014-05-14 12:04:02 PM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: Tellingthem: Three Crooked Squirrels: So, is there no homelessness in Detroit?  Because with houses going for $1,000, you could offer a whole lot of beds a lot cheaper than running a shelter.  Sure there is upkeep and maybe some taxes (do you really have to pay property taxes on a home valued at $1,000?).  No one should be living on the street in that city.

Most of these cheap homes need massive amounts of work. Electrical, heating, plumbing, foundation, roof, structural, etc. Plus with older homes you have issues with lead, Asbestos, and other environmental concerns. Yeah the house may be $1000 but to get it liveable you need to dump a lot of money into them to bring them up to code.

I guess I get that it's not as easy as dropping a few homeless guys into a house with $1,000 in their pocket.  It just seems like with real estate as low as it is in Detroit, they could be (and maybe are) doing something creative.


That's what I was thinking. it seems that if a few of these agencies joined together they could solve several problems at once.
Put some of the homeless or those living in projects into their own homes and offer jobs training in home repair. It could be done.
Many of them have never had their own home and could work on upkeep, etc.
Crazy thoughts I know.
 
2014-05-14 12:16:56 PM  
Hmmm... those MANSIONS look like HOUSES to me.
 
2014-05-14 12:19:32 PM  

JackieRabbit: Hmmm... those MANSIONS look like HOUSES to me.


This. Then again, its the Daily Mail, so, maybe to their readers, those are mansions.
 
2014-05-14 12:20:26 PM  
Do I get to keep all the drugs stashed in them?
 
2014-05-14 12:20:52 PM  
Thousand bucks for a crack house is 'too damn high!'
 
2014-05-14 12:22:01 PM  
Live in Detroit?
nope..
what they arent showing is the warzone community surrounding those "Mansions"
 
2014-05-14 12:22:03 PM  
I have it on good authority that a lot of True Americans will be going Galt to get away from you filthy, leeching, libtards.

Detroit's financial woes probably make it one of the freest cities in all of America.

Should have no problem selling those homes.
 
2014-05-14 12:22:28 PM  
Yeah but they probably need $200K in repairs
 
2014-05-14 12:22:56 PM  
A). Not mansions
B). They didn't sell for $1k
 
2014-05-14 12:23:17 PM  
This is what passes for a mansion these days?

Thanks Obama!
 
2014-05-14 12:23:28 PM  
I'd be curious to see an aerial view of some of the neighborhoods these were located in.
 
2014-05-14 12:24:39 PM  
Could someone please fill me in about the missing radiators? I've seen this in a few other places, and a poster pointed this out.
 
2014-05-14 12:24:47 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: Just get her on the case, and those will all be biatchin' houses in no time.


By "the case", I assume you mean your penis?
 
2014-05-14 12:24:58 PM  
Didn't the article say that the homes were listed starting at $1,000, but ended up $30,000 or more.
 
2014-05-14 12:25:25 PM  
This is where all retired folks on fixed incomes should be moving. Break out the Crsytal, Viagra and Osphena.
 
2014-05-14 12:25:37 PM  

JoieD'Zen: Put some of the homeless or those living in projects into their own homes and offer jobs training in home repair. It could be done.
Many of them have never had their own home and could work on upkeep, etc.
Crazy thoughts I know.


The main reason to do home repair, is in order to sell the repaired home to someone.

No one is buying in Detroit because it's a frightening maelstrom of shiat.

Even if you could train a drug-addicted, mentally-ill, street bum to repair some stuff... no one will be utilizing their services.

More likely you'll just help them learn what houses still have materials that can be stolen and sold for scrap.
 
2014-05-14 12:26:48 PM  
I would rather be homeless, not in Detroit.
 
2014-05-14 12:27:00 PM  

Tellingthem: Three Crooked Squirrels: So, is there no homelessness in Detroit?  Because with houses going for $1,000, you could offer a whole lot of beds a lot cheaper than running a shelter.  Sure there is upkeep and maybe some taxes (do you really have to pay property taxes on a home valued at $1,000?).  No one should be living on the street in that city.

Most of these cheap homes need massive amounts of work. Electrical, heating, plumbing, foundation, roof, structural, etc. Plus with older homes you have issues with lead, Asbestos, and other environmental concerns. Yeah the house may be $1000 but to get it liveable you need to dump a lot of money into them to bring them up to code.


Yeah.  I say the caption below the pic where it was saying lead windows and original woodwork as a "feature" for sale and was thinking.... sounds like a lot of old shiatty construction that needs to be renovated.
 
2014-05-14 12:27:30 PM  

Repo Man: I'd be curious to see an aerial view of some of the neighborhoods these were located in.


Probably about like this:  http://cbsdetroit.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/zyia-turner-house-18800 - block-brinker-4credit430w.jpg?w=420&h=228
 
2014-05-14 12:27:54 PM  

Three Crooked Squirrels: It just seems like with real estate as low as it is in Detroit, they could be (and maybe are) doing something creative.


I suggest giving the vacant properties to retired and disabled vets.  Most have a guaranteed income from the government, so can maintain the properties.  If work needs to be done, offer sub-rate VA loans.  Make it a military retirement city, though I doubt everyone will like the winters!
 
2014-05-14 12:27:54 PM  
I know where some of those areas are.  It's no that they are in a bad neighboor hood... it that you have no way of getting to them without going through a bad neighboorhood.
 
2014-05-14 12:28:15 PM  

Artcurus: Could someone please fill me in about the missing radiators? I've seen this in a few other places, and a poster pointed this out.


Crackheads sell the scrap metal to buy some rock.
 
2014-05-14 12:29:11 PM  

ToastTheRabbit: Live in Detroit?
nope..
what they arent showing is the warzone community surrounding those "Mansions"


Yep.  The third or fourth pic down has a glimpse of what's around it.  A hovel, and naked lots with weeds.

But even with that, IF I could get the scratch together, and had some backing or any clue how to make it work from out of state, I'd try to tackle a couple and get them rented.  But that $1000 is only starting price, most of them are going $30-40K.  Still not a bad price, but they need $50-$150K of work easily.

And I have no way of coming up with that kind of $$.
 
2014-05-14 12:29:21 PM  
That's not a mansion

buildingdetroit.org

Now THAT's a mansion
img.fark.net

Go big or go home
 
2014-05-14 12:29:40 PM  
Love how the Daily Fail states that this is a "Brick colonial"\
i.dailymail.co.uk

Apparently they've never heard of the Craftsman movement across the pond....
 
2014-05-14 12:30:48 PM  

Tellingthem: Three Crooked Squirrels: So, is there no homelessness in Detroit?  Because with houses going for $1,000, you could offer a whole lot of beds a lot cheaper than running a shelter.  Sure there is upkeep and maybe some taxes (do you really have to pay property taxes on a home valued at $1,000?).  No one should be living on the street in that city.

Most of these cheap homes need massive amounts of work. Electrical, heating, plumbing, foundation, roof, structural, etc. Plus with older homes you have issues with lead, Asbestos, and other environmental concerns. Yeah the house may be $1000 but to get it liveable you need to dump a lot of money into them to bring them up to code.


People aren't homeless because of a lack of available buildings. They're homeless because of a lack of available beds and staff, and often because of mental illness. As far as people being homeless just because they can't afford housing, you can fix that with a check. Throwing no-strings-attached money at poverty actually works really well.
 
2014-05-14 12:32:03 PM  

Repo Man: I'd be curious to see an aerial view of some of the neighborhoods these were located in.


Unfortunately, those are all no-fly zones.
 
2014-05-14 12:32:23 PM  

camaroash: Artcurus: Could someone please fill me in about the missing radiators? I've seen this in a few other places, and a poster pointed this out.

Crackheads sell the scrap metal to buy some rock.


Ahh.  Thank you!
 
2014-05-14 12:32:24 PM  

tallen702: Love how the Daily Fail states that this is a "Brick colonial"\
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 850x611]

Apparently they've never heard of the Craftsman movement across the pond....


That's more Prairie instead of Craftsman.  Nice take on the foursquare.  I bet it's a cast iron biatch to heat in the winter.
 
2014-05-14 12:32:28 PM  

tallen702: Love how the Daily Fail states that this is a "Brick colonial"\
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 850x611]

Apparently they've never heard of the Craftsman movement across the pond....


To be fair, they are retarded over in England.
 
2014-05-14 12:32:34 PM  
Sad, it's actually a very cool city. My mother-in-law grew up there and never went back after she graduated college. So maybe to visit....

But then you get the Lions and the Pistons.

/and "Hung"
//and "Detroit Rock City"
///and you can vacation on Lake Michigan
 
2014-05-14 12:33:23 PM  
Part of the deal is that you have to bring the house up to code in 6 months, or ownership reverts back to the city.
 
2014-05-14 12:33:56 PM  

iron_city_ap: JackieRabbit: Hmmm... those MANSIONS look like HOUSES to me.

This. Then again, its the Daily Mail, so, maybe to their readers, those are mansions.


Houses in the UK are typically much smaller than you see in the US. Whether it's the Daily Fail or The Financial Times most of their readers are probably living in <1500 sq.ft houses / apartments with 1 bathroom.
 
2014-05-14 12:34:58 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: [img.diynetwork.com image 266x200]
Just get her on the case, and those will all be biatchin' houses in no time.


Too bad about her voice.
I'd have to stuff something in her mouth within 30 seconds of meeting her.

Something.
 
2014-05-14 12:35:40 PM  
So, you bought yourself a little fixer upper, eh?  Let me know when you're finished.

i406.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-14 12:36:58 PM  

The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: iron_city_ap: JackieRabbit: Hmmm... those MANSIONS look like HOUSES to me.

This. Then again, its the Daily Mail, so, maybe to their readers, those are mansions.

Houses in the UK are typically much smaller than you see in the US. Whether it's the Daily Fail or The Financial Times most of their readers are probably living in <1500 sq.ft houses / apartments with 1 bathroom.


The thousand-dollar Tudor has seven bedrooms. I don't know what your standards are for a house, but to me a house has 3-5 bedrooms, tops. Seven bedrooms is kind of a mansion. Not a palace, but yeah. Mansion.

But what do I know; I live in a 1950s ranch. 1400 square feet, and it's only that big because they turned the carport into a den.
 
2014-05-14 12:37:00 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: tallen702: Love how the Daily Fail states that this is a "Brick colonial"\
[i.dailymail.co.uk image 850x611]

Apparently they've never heard of the Craftsman movement across the pond....

That's more Prairie instead of Craftsman.  Nice take on the foursquare.  I bet it's a cast iron biatch to heat in the winter.


I would have said Prairie as well, but the rules are kind of tight on what can actually be considered Prairie School vs the general Craftsman movement, usually its determining factor is whether a Prairie School architect had his hand in the blueprints.

Regardless, it's farking gorgeous and if it wasn't in a dying/dead town, I'd jump all over it new electrical, plumbing, and HVAC be damned.
 
2014-05-14 12:38:15 PM  

tallen702


Love how the Daily Fail states that this is a "Brick colonial"


To the UK, everything in the US is "colonial".
 
2014-05-14 12:38:59 PM  

wxboy: Part of the deal is that you have to bring the house up to code in 6 months, or ownership reverts back to the city.


Why would anyone in their right mind want to go thru the time and expense to do this when it will all just be stolen/broken into again by crackmonkeys and winos?

Detroit is a shiathole liberal paradise and it should be nuked from orbit.
 
2014-05-14 12:40:45 PM  

The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: iron_city_ap: JackieRabbit: Hmmm... those MANSIONS look like HOUSES to me.

This. Then again, its the Daily Mail, so, maybe to their readers, those are mansions.

Houses in the UK are typically much smaller than you see in the US. Whether it's the Daily Fail or The Financial Times most of their readers are probably living in <1500 sq.ft houses / apartments with 1 bathroom.


Thats pretty much what I figured. They described the one house has having a 'generous yard', and I thought 'you could probably fit 2 of those lots in my front yard'.

/only own 2.4 acres
 
2014-05-14 12:42:00 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: wxboy: Part of the deal is that you have to bring the house up to code in 6 months, or ownership reverts back to the city.

Why would anyone in their right mind want to go thru the time and expense to do this when it will all just be stolen/broken into again by crackmonkeys and winos?

Detroit is a shiathole liberal paradise and it should be nuked from orbit.


Look, we all know what you're dog-whistling about it. Just go ahead and say it.
 
2014-05-14 12:43:06 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: Just get her on the case, and those will all be biatchin' houses in no time.


Yes, you read my mind. Something really sexy about a woman who can work with her hands like that.
 
2014-05-14 12:43:27 PM  

iron_city_ap: The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: iron_city_ap: JackieRabbit: Hmmm... those MANSIONS look like HOUSES to me.

This. Then again, its the Daily Mail, so, maybe to their readers, those are mansions.

Houses in the UK are typically much smaller than you see in the US. Whether it's the Daily Fail or The Financial Times most of their readers are probably living in <1500 sq.ft houses / apartments with 1 bathroom.

Thats pretty much what I figured. They described the one house has having a 'generous yard', and I thought 'you could probably fit 2 of those lots in my front yard'.

/only own 2.4 acres


In most cities, a half-acre lot is considered huge.
 
2014-05-14 12:43:57 PM  
Been said but those are NOT mansions, not even McMansions.
 
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