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(Daily Mail)   Media critic doesn't want to be married anymore so he files for divorce. Neglects to tell his soon to be ex-wife who finds out during a interview. 'Well, this is the first time I've heard of it'   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 81
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9119 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2014 at 2:07 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-14 11:45:33 AM  
Slipped his mind.
 
2014-05-14 12:39:16 PM  
Having an affair = you're a despciable person
 
2014-05-14 12:52:25 PM  
What a maroon. The elegant modern man does it with a tweet.
 
2014-05-14 12:58:31 PM  
They've been separated since 2009, he posts pictures with the other woman regularly, but she's surprised?

Yeah... RIGHT.
 
2014-05-14 01:07:31 PM  

mediablitz: They've been separated since 2009, he posts pictures with the other woman regularly, but she's surprised?

Yeah... RIGHT.


Her lawyer is dancing with glee.
 
2014-05-14 02:09:08 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Slipped his mind.


Ha! Good skit
 
2014-05-14 02:11:07 PM  
Isn't he required to say "I pan thee, I pan thee, I pan thee"?

/beetlejuice
 
2014-05-14 02:13:32 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

his marriage
 
2014-05-14 02:14:05 PM  

NuttierThanEver: Having an affair = you're a despciable  startlingly normal person


FTFY.


/doesn't have affairs.
 
2014-05-14 02:15:31 PM  
way #37
 
2014-05-14 02:16:25 PM  

NuttierThanEver: Having an affair = you're a despciable person


After seeing the affair partner's photo, I'm inclined to forgive.

img.fark.net

Seriously, though, it's too easy to judge a relationship failure by saying "oh, an affair, the adulterer is automatically bad."  We don't know what happens behind closed doors, and maybe, just maybe, some people are justified seeking emotional support, love, and comfort in the arms of another.

I'm not saying that happened here.  I'm just saying we don't have nearly enough information to judge.

/life ain't so black and white
 
2014-05-14 02:19:18 PM  
Gunboat:
Seriously, though, it's too easy to judge a relationship failure by saying "oh, an affair, the adulterer is automatically bad."  We don't know what happens behind closed doors, and maybe, just maybe, some people are justified seeking emotional support, love, and comfort in the arms of another.

Judging by the looks of his soon-to-be ex-wife, I'm guessing not very much.
 
2014-05-14 02:20:23 PM  
www.linkbuildingbestpractices.com
 
2014-05-14 02:29:51 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Slipped his mind.


Condoms. I'll bring them tomorrow.
 
2014-05-14 02:36:57 PM  

TrixieDelite: Gunboat:
Seriously, though, it's too easy to judge a relationship failure by saying "oh, an affair, the adulterer is automatically bad."We don't know what happens behind closed doors, and maybe, just maybe, some people are justified seeking emotional support, love, and comfort in the arms of another.

Judging by the looks of his soon-to-be ex-wife, I'm guessing not very much.


Bullshiat, have the guts to be honest with the other person and walk away before having an affair, anything else is just trying to rationalize one of the most selfish acts of any kind
 
2014-05-14 02:44:08 PM  
"'Neither of us intends to file,' she also said. 'Both of us intend to resolve this amicably.'"

You know, to resolve a divorce someone sort of has to file with a court.
 
2014-05-14 02:44:37 PM  

Gunboat: NuttierThanEver: Having an affair = you're a despciable person

After seeing the affair partner's photo, I'm inclined to forgive.

[img.fark.net image 634x610]

Seriously, though, it's too easy to judge a relationship failure by saying "oh, an affair, the adulterer is automatically bad."  We don't know what happens behind closed doors, and maybe, just maybe, some people are justified seeking emotional support, love, and comfort in the arms of another.

I'm not saying that happened here.  I'm just saying we don't have nearly enough information to judge.

/life ain't so black and white


She does not possess free-swinging lobules.  Do not want.
 
2014-05-14 02:45:26 PM  

NuttierThanEver: TrixieDelite: Gunboat:
Seriously, though, it's too easy to judge a relationship failure by saying "oh, an affair, the adulterer is automatically bad."We don't know what happens behind closed doors, and maybe, just maybe, some people are justified seeking emotional support, love, and comfort in the arms of another.

Judging by the looks of his soon-to-be ex-wife, I'm guessing not very much.

Bullshiat, have the guts to be honest with the other person and walk away before having an affair, anything else is just trying to rationalize one of the most selfish acts of any kind


You sound like someone who has been cheated on, or will be soon.
 
2014-05-14 02:51:21 PM  
NuttierThanEver:

Bullshiat, have the guts to be honest with the other person and walk away before having an affair, anything else is just trying to rationalize one of the most selfish acts of any kind

I'll concede that having an affair without spouse's permission is a bad act and shouldn't happen.  On that point, we agree. The adulterer doesn't have "clean hands."

But it goes too far to take that point a step further and vilify the adulterer while holding the other spouse blameless.  We (you) have no idea what was going on in this guy's marriage in 2009.  None.  Yet you judge him.  Maybe soon-to-be-ex-wife refused to have sex with him and tried to make it like it was all his fault and not her own neurosis.  Maybe she was a constant nag and made home life unbearable.  Maybe she was one of these women who are perpetually embarrassed by their husband and tries to publicly "fix him."  Could be a whole host of things, we just don't know.

Should the adulterer have had the forethought and self-awareness to leave first, dissolve his marriage, and then hook up with hot 28-year-old later?  Sure, he sure should have.  But on my list of "most bad" human sins, seeking unauthorized comfort and love doesn't rank very high.
 
2014-05-14 02:54:15 PM  
You know how those media critics are.
 
2014-05-14 02:54:21 PM  
 
2014-05-14 02:56:44 PM  

MBooda: Isn't he required to say "I pan thee, I pan thee, I pan thee"?

/beetlejuice


I believe it's "I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee."  Then he throws dog poop on her shoes.
 
2014-05-14 02:57:14 PM  

SonOfSpam: [NuttierThanEver] sounds like someone who has been cheated on, or will be soon.


Yes, I think that's exactly what's happening here.  And while it's a shame that happen[ed/s], it doesn't give NTE the right to judge others' relationships.
 
2014-05-14 03:03:05 PM  
If I were ever to get married, that very moment I would start counting down the days to the sweet relief of divorce.
 
2014-05-14 03:09:48 PM  
I've been married 20 years now, but have not seen my 'wife' in over 12 of those years. I found the recipe for a successful marriage.
 
2014-05-14 03:17:55 PM  
I think I'm finally starting to see why everyone complains about Daily Mail articles.
I read that entire thing, without reading the captions, yet seeing all the pictures of the cute blonde.  Considering the story is about the wife, I naturally assumed ALL of thise pictures must be the one the article is about.  Then I see the picture at the end, and actually thought to myself, "who the hell is that?!"  I actually had to read the caption to realize that then, and only then, did they decide to include a picture of the wife.  That the article is about.
That is probably one of the finest examples I've ever seen of keeping a viewer interested with eye candy, even though it doesn't relate to the actual story.

"The wife is upset and surprised.  Here's 5 pictures of the woman her husband had an affair with 5 years ago.  Oh, and this is the wife."  (And a very flattering picture, I might add.)

Now.  Having said that.  They've been seperated for 5 farking years.  If she is surprised about him finally wanting a divorce, she's is a complete moron.
 
2014-05-14 03:18:05 PM  

Gunboat: SonOfSpam: [NuttierThanEver] sounds like someone who has been cheated on, or will be soon.

Yes, I think that's exactly what's happening here.  And while it's a shame that happen[ed/s], it doesn't give NTE the right to judge others' relationships.


Speaking of judging I've been happily married for 20 years.
I have had the unfortunate experience of being the child of a serial adulterer as I was growing up and the hard years of growing up in a household where my mom was an emotional zombie because of my old man's betrayal and have watched a very good friend lose his house and his kids to a cheating skank
Am I bitter? You bet
Do I understand that marriages break up all the time? Yep, most of the times its a blessing for all involved if there is no love left.
Do I think people who cheat are selfish and immature? Oh yeah particularly if they are doing it not because of any dissatisfaction with the marriage but out of a sense of entitlement. Or are you really trying to tell me that young blonde is with that arrogant toad out of true love?
 
2014-05-14 03:23:57 PM  

NuttierThanEver: Gunboat: SonOfSpam: [NuttierThanEver] sounds like someone who has been cheated on, or will be soon.

Yes, I think that's exactly what's happening here.  And while it's a shame that happen[ed/s], it doesn't give NTE the right to judge others' relationships.

Speaking of judging I've been happily married for 20 years.
I have had the unfortunate experience of being the child of a serial adulterer as I was growing up and the hard years of growing up in a household where my mom was an emotional zombie because of my old man's betrayal and have watched a very good friend lose his house and his kids to a cheating skank
Am I bitter? You bet
Do I understand that marriages break up all the time? Yep, most of the times its a blessing for all involved if there is no love left.
Do I think people who cheat are selfish and immature? Oh yeah particularly if they are doing it not because of any dissatisfaction with the marriage but out of a sense of entitlement. Or are you really trying to tell me that young blonde is with that arrogant toad out of true love?


I've been cheated on, I've cheated. shiat happens. I feel that you are too emotionally involved to see this topic rationally.
 
2014-05-14 03:26:45 PM  

NuttierThanEver: TrixieDelite: Gunboat:
Seriously, though, it's too easy to judge a relationship failure by saying "oh, an affair, the adulterer is automatically bad."We don't know what happens behind closed doors, and maybe, just maybe, some people are justified seeking emotional support, love, and comfort in the arms of another.

Judging by the looks of his soon-to-be ex-wife, I'm guessing not very much.

Bullshiat, have the guts to be honest with the other person and walk away before having an affair, anything else is just trying to rationalize one of the most selfish acts of any kind



^^THIS^^
 
2014-05-14 03:37:12 PM  
He's definitely going to find out if that one chick is a 'femme fatale' soon enough! That or he just made his wife into one.
 
2014-05-14 03:40:28 PM  

NuttierThanEver: Or are you really trying to tell me that young blonde is with that arrogant toad out of true love?


I'm trying to tell you that you don't know.  I don't know.  Neither. Of. Us. Have. Any. Idea.

Based on the scant information in the article, I will note that seems to be a big difference between being " a serial adulterer... where... mom was an emotional zombie" and a man who stepped out on his wife one time with one person and never came back.

But, as I said before, we just don't know.  Until I know, I'll withhold judgment.  I recommend others do the same.

Wasilla Hillbilly: I feel that [NuttierThanEver] is too emotionally involved to see this topic rationally.


I suspect that's the case.
 
2014-05-14 03:41:03 PM  
Sybarite:
Bullshiat, have the guts to be honest with the other person and walk away before having an affair, anything else is just trying to rationalize one of the most selfish acts of any kind
^^THIS^^


We all want the human race to wake up and be enlightened (whatever we each think that means).   It isn't happening.   Most people don't have the fortitude to choose to break up before finding a new person.   Most people are not geniuses or billionaires.   Blaming them for any of these shortcomings is selfish.    We all have shortcomings.  Whatever your value system is that allows you to blame them for being what they are is a problem.   Your problem.   You've been taught to value unrealistic things.  We all have to some degree.   The sooner you realize that, the happier you will be.  Good luck.
 
2014-05-14 03:44:41 PM  
How many people quit their old job before they have a new, better one lined up?
 
2014-05-14 03:51:20 PM  
Rhypskallion:

We all want the human race to wake up and be enlightened (whatever we each think that means).   It isn't happening.   Most people don't have the fortitude to choose to break up before finding a new person.   Most people are not geniuses or billionaires.   Blaming them for any of these shortcomings is selfish.    We all have shortcomings.  Whatever your value system is that allows you to blame them for being what they are is a problem.   Your problem.   You've been taught to value unrealistic things.  We all have to some degree.   The sooner you realize that, the happier you will be.  Good luck.

Thank you.  Finally, some wisdom on fark.

image.shutterstock.com
 
2014-05-14 03:51:50 PM  

Rhypskallion: Sybarite:
Bullshiat, have the guts to be honest with the other person and walk away before having an affair, anything else is just trying to rationalize one of the most selfish acts of any kind
^^THIS^^

We all want the human race to wake up and be enlightened (whatever we each think that means).   It isn't happening.   Most people don't have the fortitude to choose to break up before finding a new person.   Most people are not geniuses or billionaires.   Blaming them for any of these shortcomings is selfish.    We all have shortcomings.  Whatever your value system is that allows you to blame them for being what they are is a problem.   Your problem.   You've been taught to value unrealistic things.  We all have to some degree.   The sooner you realize that, the happier you will be.  Good luck.


It's all about honesty. If you don't want an exclusive relationship, don't be in one. If you no longer want the one you are in, either leave or talk openly with the person you are with about your different expectations. I'm in an exclusive relationship with someone right now I was in a non-exclusive relationship previously a decade ago. We have both decided that's what we want now even though it really wasn't for either of us when we were younger and still exploring. We've both agreed that if things change for either of us, we'll work that out when and if the time comes. I've had both open and closed relationships (probably in about equal measure), and the key to all of them was being honest. It's the reason I still have some really great friendships with people I've dated in the past, rather than coming to hate each other and nurse the wounds created by deception. As with the poster above, I grew up in a house beset by lies and betrayals, and I've seen what that turns people into. Maybe there are people for whom that's a good way to live, but I have yet to witness it.
 
2014-05-14 03:56:47 PM  

Rhypskallion: Sybarite:
Bullshiat, have the guts to be honest with the other person and walk away before having an affair, anything else is just trying to rationalize one of the most selfish acts of any kind
^^THIS^^

We all want the human race to wake up and be enlightened (whatever we each think that means).   It isn't happening.   Most people don't have the fortitude to choose to break up before finding a new person.   Most people are not geniuses or billionaires.   Blaming them for any of these shortcomings is selfish.    We all have shortcomings.  Whatever your value system is that allows you to blame them for being what they are is a problem.   Your problem.   You've been taught to value unrealistic things.  We all have to some degree.   The sooner you realize that, the happier you will be.  Good luck.


Yeah, guys, it's all so simple.  They're not selfish for making an oath to be faithful, and then breaking that oath in secret for their own gratification, while continuing to live a lie with their spouse....you're selfish for thinking people should have a shred of human decency or personal responsibility.

Get with the program, idiots.
 
2014-05-14 04:09:25 PM  

mediablitz: They've been separated since 2009, he posts pictures with the other woman regularly, but she's surprised?
Yeah... RIGHT.


I always love those people who say, "but I had no idea we had a problem!" when they haven't talked to each other in four years and sleep in separate rooms or something. Like that's not a problem.
 
2014-05-14 04:18:43 PM  
i9.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-14 04:20:15 PM  

reillan: [i9.photobucket.com image 347x232]


This marriage is OVER!
 
2014-05-14 04:33:11 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk


Lipstick $30
Little sexy black dress $200
Using your reflective gold stiletto as a mirror while applying lip stick to your face... PRICELESS
 
2014-05-14 04:34:25 PM  

Gunboat: I'm trying to tell you that you don't know. I don't know. Neither. Of. Us. Have. Any. Idea.


We know that he had an affair because it's a matter of record. We don't know what caused the affair, but we do know that he had one. It's a conscious decision, not something that happens by accident. It's like saying that we don't know the circumstances of someone's pedophilia. Whether pedophilia or having an affair is wrong is a matter of personal interpretation, but the fact of it occurring is not.
 
2014-05-14 04:40:50 PM  

Sybarite: Rhypskallion: Sybarite:
Bullshiat, have the guts to be honest with the other person and walk away before having an affair, anything else is just trying to rationalize one of the most selfish acts of any kind
^^THIS^^

We all want the human race to wake up and be enlightened (whatever we each think that means).   It isn't happening.   Most people don't have the fortitude to choose to break up before finding a new person.   Most people are not geniuses or billionaires.   Blaming them for any of these shortcomings is selfish.    We all have shortcomings.  Whatever your value system is that allows you to blame them for being what they are is a problem.   Your problem.   You've been taught to value unrealistic things.  We all have to some degree.   The sooner you realize that, the happier you will be.  Good luck.

It's all about honesty. If you don't want an exclusive relationship, don't be in one. If you no longer want the one you are in, either leave or talk openly with the person you are with about your different expectations. I'm in an exclusive relationship with someone right now I was in a non-exclusive relationship previously a decade ago. We have both decided that's what we want now even though it really wasn't for either of us when we were younger and still exploring. We've both agreed that if things change for either of us, we'll work that out when and if the time comes. I've had both open and closed relationships (probably in about equal measure), and the key to all of them was being honest. It's the reason I still have some really great friendships with people I've dated in the past, rather than coming to hate each other and nurse the wounds created by deception. As with the poster above, I grew up in a house beset by lies and betrayals, and I've seen what that turns people into. Maybe there are people for whom that's a good way to live, but I have yet to witness it.


Now that is wisdom. I agree wholeheartedly. I have friends who have open relationships (she's bi and since she occasionally wants to play with the home team she feels it's only fair for him to get to play an away game here and there too) and it works for them. The point is that they are open and honest about. The moment you start lying to your significant other about something this big is the moment you should just admit that your relationship is likely doomed
 
2014-05-14 04:44:40 PM  
TheAlgebraist:   Yeah, guys, it's all so simple.  They're not selfish for making an oath to be faithful, and then breaking that oath in secret for their own gratification, while continuing to live a lie with their spouse....you're selfish for thinking people should have a shred of human decency or personal responsibility.  Get with the program, idiots.

Who said cheaters were not being selfish?  All motivation comes from self.   The line between 'self motivated' and 'selfish' is invisible.  Who is condoning the breaking of an oath? We admire those who keep to oaths because they are rare.  Who is more betrayed 'living a lie' than the liar?  Cheating happens all the time everywhere and therefore is normal.   I have chosen to not continue to be with someone who cheated--but I won't hate all cheaters just because it has happened to me.   Most people can't even be honest with themselves.  Can they possibly be honest with someone else?

The "program" is what teaches people to lie to themselves, and therefore others.  Getting with it doesn't appeal to me.  Thank you for your kind words.
 
2014-05-14 04:44:50 PM  

NuttierThanEver: are you really trying to tell me that young blonde is with that arrogant toad out of true love?


Well, it certainly not for looks, and probably not for money, so... maybe?
 
2014-05-14 04:45:08 PM  

untaken_name: Gunboat: I'm trying to tell you that you don't know. I don't know. Neither. Of. Us. Have. Any. Idea.

We know that he had an affair because it's a matter of record. We don't know what caused the affair, but we do know that he had one. It's a conscious decision, not something that happens by accident. It's like saying that we don't know the circumstances of someone's pedophilia. Whether pedophilia or having an affair is wrong is a matter of personal interpretation, but the fact of it occurring is not.


Jesus.  You're equating pedophilia with a man having an affair with an attractive 28 year-old woman?  Up it a step and see if you can work in a Nazi analogy, too.
 
2014-05-14 04:48:08 PM  
yeah shes not a money grubber. no sir she's not.
 
2014-05-14 04:48:49 PM  
Gunboat:
Thank you.  Finally, some wisdom on fark.

[image.shutterstock.com image 443x470]


HA!  What WAS I thinking!!

/thanks for the kind words and the lovely picture
 
2014-05-14 04:52:35 PM  

xtech: yeah shes not a money grubber. no sir she's not.


Yeah, that's the problem with being a media critic, all the hot chicks coming after you for the big money that critics make.
 
2014-05-14 04:55:29 PM  

Gunboat: Seriously, though, it's too easy to judge a relationship failure by saying "oh, an affair, the adulterer is automatically bad."  We don't know what happens behind closed doors, and maybe, just maybe, some people are justified seeking emotional support, love, and comfort in the arms of another.


There are corner cases to everything, of course, but, as a general principle, if you find yourself unable to bear the confines of your marriage, the best solution is to seek a divorce or, at the least, a separation.

The problem with cheating isn't just that you're betraying a trust that you agreed to (which is why we recite vows at the ceremony), but you're exposing your partner to potential harm.

At the very minimum, if you're having sex with your spouse and another person, and your spouse doesn't know, you're an absolute asshole because you've decided that they don't have the right to know that you're placing them at risk of an STD. At that point, I don't care what sort of jerkass your spouse is being that caused you to seek the arms of another: you have an obligation to tell them that you're bringing additional bodily fluids into the relationship.

Beyond that, the onus is on you if your new love interest decides to take things too far. If someone shows up on my doorstep, ranting at me because you're sleeping with them, you, again, get to be the asshole in that scenario no matter what you might have thought about me beforehand.

So, yes, I can imagine cases where cheating might be ethically justified, but let's not pretend that those are anything but unusual cases. In general, and as a great rule of thumb, cheating isn't justified.
 
2014-05-14 04:58:58 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: I've been married 20 years now, but have not seen my 'wife' in over 12 of those years. I found the recipe for a successful marriage.


Killed her?
 
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