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(Gaston Gazette)   Woman calls 911 after getting marinara sauce instead of pizza sauce on her flatizza. That's not a euphemism   (gastongazette.com) divider line 84
    More: Stupid, tomato sauces, Woman calls, WSOC-TV  
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4186 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2014 at 10:33 PM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-13 08:36:46 PM
Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?
 
2014-05-13 09:16:49 PM
Hall was jailed for three minutes

Wow, that's like Lindsey Lohan jail time.


Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?


Pretty much. I wouldn't really expect Subway to stock two different kinds of tomato-based sauces.
 
2014-05-13 09:50:05 PM

fusillade762: Hall was jailed for three minutes

Wow, that's like Lindsey Lohan jail time.


Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?

Pretty much. I wouldn't really expect Subway to stock two different kinds of tomato-based sauces.


Maybe not, but real marinara sauce is very different from pizza sauce. I think of marinara as being nearly just tomatoes, whereas pizza sauce has all kinds of other crap in it.
 
2014-05-13 09:56:38 PM
They should be arrested for serving that shiat. Its nasty on somethimg pretending to be pizza.

/ordered one.... Once
 
2014-05-13 10:04:05 PM
It's frikkin ketchup on a cracker

/you'll get over it
 
2014-05-13 10:37:03 PM

Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?


pizza sauce has more basil.
 
2014-05-13 10:37:40 PM
They wouldn't give her a sandwich, but justice was served
 
2014-05-13 10:37:56 PM
Sometimes I think the world would be a better place of the "people" who misuse 911 in this way were taken out back, shot once in the head, and thrown into a mass grave, to serve an example to those idiots who would think this is a good idea.
 
2014-05-13 10:38:54 PM
Why would one feel the need to blend "flat" and "pizza?" All pizzas are flat.
 
2014-05-13 10:40:17 PM

whosits_112: Sometimes I think the world would be a better place of the "people" who misuse 911 in this way were taken out back, shot once in the head, and thrown into a mass grave, to serve an example to those idiots who would think this is a good idea.


It's North Carolina. They don't have 311 here because they don't even understand the concept of non-emergency calls to the police.
 
2014-05-13 10:41:55 PM

moothemagiccow: Why would one feel the need to blend "flat" and "pizza?" All pizzas are flat.


if only that were true... this abomination disagrees.

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-13 10:43:04 PM
So what? I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody... get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.
 
2014-05-13 10:46:07 PM

SquiggsIN: moothemagiccow: Why would one feel the need to blend "flat" and "pizza?" All pizzas are flat.

if only that were true... this abomination disagrees.


I'd say "kill it with fire!" But that only makes it stronger.
 
2014-05-13 10:46:15 PM

SquiggsIN: moothemagiccow: Why would one feel the need to blend "flat" and "pizza?" All pizzas are flat.

if only that were true... this abomination disagrees.

[img.fark.net image 640x480]


Is that from Harvard's Black Mass?
 
2014-05-13 10:46:53 PM

moothemagiccow: Why would one feel the need to blend "flat" and "pizza?" All pizzas are flat.

flatbread, however.
Not all pizzas are on
 
2014-05-13 10:48:49 PM

"She got marinara sauce instead of pizza sauce...and she's complaining?!?!? What a schnook."


static.rogerebert.com

 
2014-05-13 10:49:01 PM
Honestly, I think the woman did the correct thing. If you see something, say something.
 
2014-05-13 10:50:19 PM

Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?


I actually Googled that question.

The exact definitions are a big vague, but in general, pizza sauce is uncooked before you put it on the pizza, whereas marinara sauce has already been cooked, which makes the flavor less tomato-y.  So, in theory, all other things being equal, a pizza made with marinara sauce would have a weaker tomato flavor and thus be less tasty.

Of course, this is Subway we're talking about, so none of the above is likely to apply.
 
2014-05-13 10:51:26 PM

SquiggsIN: Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?

pizza sauce has more basil.


www.wearysloth.com
If he had anything to do with it then I wouldn't want to eat it.
 
2014-05-13 10:53:37 PM

moothemagiccow: whosits_112: Sometimes I think the world would be a better place of the "people" who misuse 911 in this way were taken out back, shot once in the head, and thrown into a mass grave, to serve an example to those idiots who would think this is a good idea.

It's North Carolina. They don't have 311 here because they don't even understand the concept of non-emergency calls to the police.


There are plenty of stories of people who have tried to call the police using a non-emergency number to report something that isn't an emergency, and then been told to hang up and call 911.

That said, I agree that there should be a better way to report things which the police should be made aware of yet do not require an emergency response.  At least in some parts of North Carolina, you can call Highway Patrol to report non-emergency highway issues.

All of this, of course, being fairly irrelevant to the question of pizza sauce.
 
2014-05-13 10:54:09 PM

ciberido: Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?

I actually Googled that question.

The exact definitions are a big vague, but in general, pizza sauce is uncooked before you put it on the pizza, whereas marinara sauce has already been cooked, which makes the flavor less tomato-y.  So, in theory, all other things being equal, a pizza made with marinara sauce would have a weaker tomato flavor and thus be less tasty.

Of course, this is Subway we're talking about, so none of the above is likely to apply.


I've never seen a pizza made with a sauce composed of raw tomato and i've been in/worked in a lot of pizza places.  It is always cooked whether it comes from a can, jar, bag, or raw, fresh tomato.

/but, i've never been to Italy....
 
2014-05-13 10:54:42 PM

farkingismybusiness: So what? I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup.


I'm guessing you live in Japan.
 
2014-05-13 10:57:16 PM

SquiggsIN: ciberido: The exact definitions are a big vague, but in general, pizza sauce is uncooked before you put it on the pizza, whereas marinara sauce has already been cooked, which makes the flavor less tomato-y.  So, in theory, all other things being equal, a pizza made with marinara sauce would have a weaker tomato flavor and thus be less tasty.

Of course, this is Subway we're talking about, so none of the above is likely to apply.

I've never seen a pizza made with a sauce composed of raw tomato and i've been in/worked in a lot of pizza places.  It is always cooked whether it comes from a can, jar, bag, or raw, fresh tomato.

/but, i've never been to Italy....


This is the thread I got that info from.  If it's wrong, sorry, it was just the first hit I got off a Google search.  I am certainly not claiming any authority about pizza sauce.
 
2014-05-13 10:57:19 PM
I had no idea Blu Mankuma was into cross dressing...

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-13 11:03:11 PM
I think I'm missing something cause usually fast-food places will correct your order if they got it wrong.
 
2014-05-13 11:04:03 PM

ciberido: farkingismybusiness: So what? I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup.

I'm guessing you live in Japan.


I'm just used to my garlic sliced so thin that it liquefies in the pan with just a little oil. It's a very good system.
 
2014-05-13 11:04:11 PM
Let me call 911 because I want to go to subway and spend $5 on one of these
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-13 11:06:03 PM

ciberido: farkingismybusiness: So what? I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup.

I'm guessing you live in Japan.


Have you not seen the movie Goodfellas?  that's an exact line lift from the end of the movie.
 
2014-05-13 11:08:50 PM
I make my own tomato sauces every summer when they are ripe out back.  For the most part the difference between my marinara (which my wife won't stop calling spaghetti sauce despite that it can be used on any number of non-spaghetti pastas or foodstuffs) and my pizza sauce is that the pizza sauce has a significantly lower moisture content due to longer cooking to enhance the flavor profile and that it has about double the basil in it.
 
2014-05-13 11:10:04 PM
Ah Gastonia. You know you've got a great town when Fred Durst disavows of having lived there.
 
2014-05-13 11:16:23 PM

pippi longstocking: I think I'm missing something cause usually fast-food places will correct your order if they got it wrong.


Subway only has one sauce the woman was wanting them to remake the pizza using the exact same stuff
 
2014-05-13 11:23:08 PM

SquiggsIN: I make my own tomato sauces every summer when they are ripe out back.  For the most part the difference between my marinara (which my wife won't stop calling spaghetti sauce despite that it can be used on any number of non-spaghetti pastas or foodstuffs) and my pizza sauce is that the pizza sauce has a significantly lower moisture content due to longer cooking to enhance the flavor profile and that it has about double the basil in it.


I bet she calls your IROC-Z a "Chevy", too.
 
2014-05-13 11:23:13 PM
I tried reading this to my wife just now... I got to "Bevalente Michette Hall" before my wife interjected "looks like someone took a machete to her head".

We LOL'd.
 
2014-05-13 11:29:30 PM

SquiggsIN: ciberido: farkingismybusiness: So what? I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup.

I'm guessing you live in Japan.

Have you not seen the movie Goodfellas?  that's an exact line lift from the end of the movie.


I haven't seen it yet, 'cause I gotta wait around like everyone else.
 
2014-05-13 11:31:15 PM

ciberido: farkingismybusiness: So what? I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup.

I'm guessing you live in Japan.


Lord...his quote isnt obscure.
 
2014-05-13 11:35:23 PM

moothemagiccow: Why would one feel the need to blend "flat" and "pizza?" All pizzas are flat.


But all flatizzas are from subway.

Seriously though subway has different sauces for these things?
 
2014-05-13 11:36:32 PM

farkingismybusiness: So what? I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody... get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.


Win ^
 
2014-05-14 12:12:39 AM
What baffles me is, so, she didn't want a sandwich, why did she go to Subway?
 
2014-05-14 12:16:22 AM

Igor Jakovsky: moothemagiccow: Why would one feel the need to blend "flat" and "pizza?" All pizzas are flat.

But all flatizzas are from subway.

Seriously though subway has different sauces for these things?


I have no idea, all I can tell you is the sauce tasted like really bad ketchup, and it had about as much sauce as a jelly donut has jelly.

On top of that?  Cheese that was both too much (because it was bad) and not enough (because it was better than the sauce) and mixed in were a few lonely strips of chopped up pepperoni.

I didn't expect much, but I was still somehow disappointed.  That in itself is an achievement I suppose.
 
2014-05-14 12:18:01 AM
Not surprised one bit. Wanna bet that she is/has:
1. Welfare since she was a teenager
2. Multiple children, via multiple "baby daddy's"
3. House/apartment paid for by welfare
4. Multiple cell phones
5. Automobile
6. Huge flat screen television
7. No job/income other than her "check" from the government
8. Thinks everyone owes her something
9. Thinks Obama should stay president for life.
10. Believes America is racist because of (insert favorite reason here)
 
2014-05-14 12:33:25 AM
Hey, wait just a second....

If someone puts marinara instead of pizza on my dough, you bet I'm calling 911. DAMN STRAIGHT!

Same goes for Returns at Walmart, Drive Thru Orders, Buying Weed Gone Bad, Automotive Technical Issues, Already Under Arrest and No Money for Taxi.

I mean what part of Serve and Protect don't you people understand...

/
 
2014-05-14 12:44:20 AM

itcamefromschenectady: fusillade762: Hall was jailed for three minutes

Wow, that's like Lindsey Lohan jail time.


Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?

Pretty much. I wouldn't really expect Subway to stock two different kinds of tomato-based sauces.

Maybe not, but real marinara sauce is very different from pizza sauce. I think of marinara as being nearly just tomatoes, whereas pizza sauce has all kinds of other crap in it.


You've got that backwards: pizza sauce is very versatile and usually contains very little besides tomatoes (in any form--sauce, crushed, paste), and a few seasonings (usually specific to the parlor, but in most it's a little oregano, salt, pepper, some romano, and some parlors might add a touch of garlic, but that's pretty rare). Often, it is uncooked until the pizza is baked (although fast food places may cook it in advance).

Marinara is more specific. It is cooked and contains tomatoes (of course) in whatever form (usually several forms, using crushed and maybe even sauce as a base and adding paste for thickening), olive oil, garlic, onion, basil and perhaps other seasonings and spices and is simmered for a period of time before serving.

Marinara can be used as pizza sauce, but pizza sauce can only be used as a base for marinara (but often is not because not all Italians use oregano in their marinara).

Source: four years working in an Italian restaurant and pizzeria owned by a family where "Grandpa" spoke no English other than "hello." I can make some damned good homemade Italian food.
 
2014-05-14 12:45:21 AM

SquiggsIN: moothemagiccow: Why would one feel the need to blend "flat" and "pizza?" All pizzas are flat.

if only that were true... this abomination disagrees.

[img.fark.net image 640x480]


well at least they are trying to kill it with fire
 
2014-05-14 12:48:40 AM

Aigoo: itcamefromschenectady: fusillade762: Hall was jailed for three minutes

Wow, that's like Lindsey Lohan jail time.


Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?

Pretty much. I wouldn't really expect Subway to stock two different kinds of tomato-based sauces.

Maybe not, but real marinara sauce is very different from pizza sauce. I think of marinara as being nearly just tomatoes, whereas pizza sauce has all kinds of other crap in it.

You've got that backwards: pizza sauce is very versatile and usually contains very little besides tomatoes (in any form--sauce, crushed, paste), and a few seasonings (usually specific to the parlor, but in most it's a little oregano, salt, pepper, some romano, and some parlors might add a touch of garlic, but that's pretty rare). Often, it is uncooked until the pizza is baked (although fast food places may cook it in advance).

Marinara is more specific. It is cooked and contains tomatoes (of course) in whatever form (usually several forms, using crushed and maybe even sauce as a base and adding paste for thickening), olive oil, garlic, onion, basil and perhaps other seasonings and spices and is simmered for a period of time before serving.

Marinara can be used as pizza sauce, but pizza sauce can only be used as a base for marinara (but often is not because not all Italians use oregano in their marinara).

Source: four years working in an Italian restaurant and pizzeria owned by a family where "Grandpa" spoke no English other than "hello." I can make some damned good homemade Italian food.


And personally, I do add oregano to my marinara, but I like oregano. I also throw in a whole carrot to soak up the acids from the tomatoes. When the carrot is soft, the sauce is done.
 
2014-05-14 12:48:46 AM

spawn73: What baffles me is, so, she didn't want a sandwich, why did she go to Subway?


Ditto. Her first problem is that she ordered a pizza at a sub shop. If it's a pizzeria that also does grinders (e.g. Mancino's) that's fine, but... Subway? Really?
 
2014-05-14 12:49:19 AM

Aigoo: itcamefromschenectady: fusillade762: Hall was jailed for three minutes

Wow, that's like Lindsey Lohan jail time.


Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?

Pretty much. I wouldn't really expect Subway to stock two different kinds of tomato-based sauces.

Maybe not, but real marinara sauce is very different from pizza sauce. I think of marinara as being nearly just tomatoes, whereas pizza sauce has all kinds of other crap in it.

You've got that backwards: pizza sauce is very versatile and usually contains very little besides tomatoes (in any form--sauce, crushed, paste), and a few seasonings (usually specific to the parlor, but in most it's a little oregano, salt, pepper, some romano, and some parlors might add a touch of garlic, but that's pretty rare). Often, it is uncooked until the pizza is baked (although fast food places may cook it in advance).

Marinara is more specific. It is cooked and contains tomatoes (of course) in whatever form (usually several forms, using crushed and maybe even sauce as a base and adding paste for thickening), olive oil, garlic, onion, basil and perhaps other seasonings and spices and is simmered for a period of time before serving.

Marinara can be used as pizza sauce, but pizza sauce can only be used as a base for marinara (but often is not because not all Italians use oregano in their marinara).

Source: four years working in an Italian restaurant and pizzeria owned by a family where "Grandpa" spoke no English other than "hello." I can make some damned good homemade Italian food.


I don't know much about making sauces so maybe I'm making a fool of myself but wouldn't uncooked tomato sauce just be mashed up tomatoes? Don't you need to cook it to get that sauce consistency?
 
2014-05-14 01:10:52 AM

Aigoo: itcamefromschenectady: fusillade762: Hall was jailed for three minutes

Wow, that's like Lindsey Lohan jail time.


Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?

Pretty much. I wouldn't really expect Subway to stock two different kinds of tomato-based sauces.

Maybe not, but real marinara sauce is very different from pizza sauce. I think of marinara as being nearly just tomatoes, whereas pizza sauce has all kinds of other crap in it.

You've got that backwards: pizza sauce is very versatile and usually contains very little besides tomatoes (in any form--sauce, crushed, paste), and a few seasonings (usually specific to the parlor, but in most it's a little oregano, salt, pepper, some romano, and some parlors might add a touch of garlic, but that's pretty rare). Often, it is uncooked until the pizza is baked (although fast food places may cook it in advance).

Marinara is more specific. It is cooked and contains tomatoes (of course) in whatever form (usually several forms, using crushed and maybe even sauce as a base and adding paste for thickening), olive oil, garlic, onion, basil and perhaps other seasonings and spices and is simmered for a period of time before serving.

Marinara can be used as pizza sauce, but pizza sauce can only be used as a base for marinara (but often is not because not all Italians use oregano in their marinara).

Source: four years working in an Italian restaurant and pizzeria owned by a family where "Grandpa" spoke no English other than "hello." I can make some damned good homemade Italian food.


In my experience growing up in New York Italian kitchen's, the sauce was the same base of hand-crushed tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, and a pinch of oregano. Throw in a few torn up basil leaves and now it is Marinara. I know a few places that avoid using a sauce by oiling the dough, then spreading San Marzano's on top with some basil leaves and garlic cloves on top.
 
2014-05-14 01:17:39 AM

picturescrazy: Aigoo: itcamefromschenectady: fusillade762: Hall was jailed for three minutes

Wow, that's like Lindsey Lohan jail time.


Tr0mBoNe: Isn't pizza sauce usually just marinara sauce?

Pretty much. I wouldn't really expect Subway to stock two different kinds of tomato-based sauces.

Maybe not, but real marinara sauce is very different from pizza sauce. I think of marinara as being nearly just tomatoes, whereas pizza sauce has all kinds of other crap in it.

You've got that backwards: pizza sauce is very versatile and usually contains very little besides tomatoes (in any form--sauce, crushed, paste), and a few seasonings (usually specific to the parlor, but in most it's a little oregano, salt, pepper, some romano, and some parlors might add a touch of garlic, but that's pretty rare). Often, it is uncooked until the pizza is baked (although fast food places may cook it in advance).

Marinara is more specific. It is cooked and contains tomatoes (of course) in whatever form (usually several forms, using crushed and maybe even sauce as a base and adding paste for thickening), olive oil, garlic, onion, basil and perhaps other seasonings and spices and is simmered for a period of time before serving.

Marinara can be used as pizza sauce, but pizza sauce can only be used as a base for marinara (but often is not because not all Italians use oregano in their marinara).

Source: four years working in an Italian restaurant and pizzeria owned by a family where "Grandpa" spoke no English other than "hello." I can make some damned good homemade Italian food.

I don't know much about making sauces so maybe I'm making a fool of myself but wouldn't uncooked tomato sauce just be mashed up tomatoes? Don't you need to cook it to get that sauce consistency?


Depends? In the place I worked, it was a 68-year old recipe, so I guess they had the consistency worked out by then. Theirs was a combination of tomato sauce, crushed tomatoes, and tomato paste, spread thin over the pie crust with romano, oregano, salt, and pepper dusted lightly over, then toppings put on top of that, then baked.

Seriously the best pizza I've ever had to this day.

The marinara, they started after the bar closed and simmered on a very low heat until just before lunch the next day--so about 7 hours over a low heat. Must've been stirred pretty frequently, because I swear, I never, ever saw a scorched pot the entire time I worked there. I've tried to replicate that sauce and come close, but I'm missing something...dammit. Grrr.
 
2014-05-14 01:19:14 AM

moothemagiccow: Why would one feel the need to blend "flat" and "pizza?" All pizzas are flat.


Sunday was always Pancake Day in our family, because that was the day we'd all drive up to Pancake Mountain, and then maybe on the way home stop and get some pizza.
We'd always sing the same song, too, on the way home. It went like this:

There's nothing flatter
Than a pizza
Nothing you can make.
The only thing that might
Be flatter
Is a fish they call the hake!


--Jack Handey
 
2014-05-14 01:22:26 AM
Let's face it, nothing else needs to be said.
 
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