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(Headlines & Global News)   Dousing yourself in Axe will not help you get a girl pregnant   (hngn.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, industrial products, endocrine disruptors, infertility, international rules  
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4913 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2014 at 5:26 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



58 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-05-13 03:18:08 PM  
Good.  Men who use Axe should not have children.
 
2014-05-13 03:20:49 PM  
Of course not

/you don't get women pregnant if your using birth control that powerful
 
2014-05-13 04:03:35 PM  
Now if you mix in a pinky ring and a couple of gold chains, that's a spicy meatball.
 
2014-05-13 05:09:39 PM  
The fumes will, though, help to make sure any children you conceive have horrifying birth defects. Especially when combined with the copious amounts of alcohol that would have to be involved.
 
2014-05-13 05:30:40 PM  
Having a 76 Camaro, two packs of Marlboros and a bottle of Strawberry Hill will.
Dammit
 
2014-05-13 05:32:40 PM  
Dousing yourself in Axe will not help you get a girl pregnant

i1.sndcdn.com
 
2014-05-13 05:33:14 PM  
I do not trust a man who wears cologne to work.
 
2014-05-13 05:33:27 PM  
It will ensure that you make me want to punch you in the coont when you waft your way through the change room at the gym. Seriously, just stop that shiat man.
 
2014-05-13 05:35:27 PM  
Duh? I thought "bro's" used that as a way to attract other "bro's" and repel "teh wemins"?
 
2014-05-13 05:35:57 PM  
Damn - I need to go buy some Axe body spray then... I never want to have kids

(32 year old single white male)

Probably won't smell as good though -- hard to beat Armani Code or Aqua Di Gio.
 
2014-05-13 05:35:57 PM  

Mixing them could have worse effects.



storiesbywilliams.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-13 05:36:54 PM  

hundreddollarman: I do not trust a man who wears cologne to work.


As someone who wears cologne to work, I can say that you are right not to trust me. You should get a lock for your lunch box, BTW. That is a sexy sandwich you have there.
 
2014-05-13 05:37:38 PM  
"sperms"? Was TFA written by a 5-year-old?
 
2014-05-13 05:38:03 PM  
Please tell my pubescent step sons doing that will also not get you a girlfriend, they don't believe me
 
2014-05-13 05:38:39 PM  
Further studies have shown that dousing yourself in daily hygiene products does not, i repeat not, cause infertility in company bank accounts that make these products.

these accounts, many of them in overseas tax shelters, are pregnant indeed.
 
2014-05-13 05:42:26 PM  

UncleStumpy: Please tell my pubescent step sons doing that will also not get you a girlfriend, they don't believe me


"The sexiest smell on the planet is CLEAN."
/Has worked for many adolescents (I've been "the cool aunt" many times, and even my own monsters say I'm right on this point).
//Also: "Wear LESS, that way she'll have to get very, very close to you in order to breathe you in."
 
2014-05-13 05:43:15 PM  

accelerus: Damn - I need to go buy some Axe body spray then... I never want to have kids

(32 year old single white male)

Probably won't smell as good though -- hard to beat Armani Code or Aqua Di Gio.


This.

Strangely enough I have both of those colognes as well. Christmas gifts from mom and sis.

/Great minds and all that
 
2014-05-13 05:43:17 PM  
No, you wait for the fumes to knock them out, then you can have as much sex as you want!
 
2014-05-13 05:44:43 PM  
Toothpaste you say?

i695.photobucket.com
He tried to warn us!
 
2014-05-13 05:49:26 PM  
Change
Dousing yourself in Axe will not help you get a girl pregnant
to
Dousing yourself in Axe will help you not get a girl pregnant

and I anticipate a new marketing slogan.
 
2014-05-13 05:52:50 PM  
Said this before, but...
The three pillars of man scent:

Old Spice original
Speed Stick By Mennen original
Brut

You cannot go wrong. And if they say you smell like their dad, you already won.
 
2014-05-13 05:53:32 PM  
A friend of my roomates wore so much damn Axe. One night he crashed at our place and the couch and the blanket he used reaked. I had her clean both.
 
v15
2014-05-13 05:53:53 PM  
Axe practically wiped out millions of my Navy SEAL swimmers. The rest are now lifeguards
 
2014-05-13 05:53:53 PM  

UncleStumpy: Please tell my pubescent step sons doing that will also not get you a girlfriend, they don't believe me


My 13-year-old daughter reports that half the boys in her grade spray themselves with Axe and it's disgusting.

So you can go tell your stepsons that you heard from some guy on the Internet that girls their age don't like it. I'm sure that will be persuasive.
 
2014-05-13 05:56:51 PM  

accelerus: Damn - I need to go buy some Axe body spray then... I never want to have kids

(32 year old single white male)

Probably won't smell as good though -- hard to beat Armani Code or Aqua Di Gio


Just get snipped. One of the best decisions I ever made.
 
2014-05-13 05:57:27 PM  
It's probably just that the girls go so crazy over that sweet sweet smell, that the guys are getting laid so much that their sperm count registers lower...
 
2014-05-13 06:00:52 PM  
So what you're saying is its a double-win.
 
2014-05-13 06:02:58 PM  

Phony_Soldier: hundreddollarman: I do not trust a man who wears cologne to work.

As someone who wears cologne to work, I can say that you are right not to trust me. You should get a lock for your lunch box, BTW. That is a sexy sandwich you have there.


Why do you wear cologne to work? Seriously
 
2014-05-13 06:04:29 PM  

mama2tnt: UncleStumpy: Please tell my pubescent step sons doing that will also not get you a girlfriend, they don't believe me

"The sexiest smell on the planet is CLEAN."
/Has worked for many adolescents (I've been "the cool aunt" many times, and even my own monsters say I'm right on this point).
//Also: "Wear LESS, that way she'll have to get very, very close to you in order to breathe you in."


If by clean you mean the smell of soap which has been ingrained in us since birth by society as the way of distinguishing who we associate with and who we do not.
You should not be judging these mavericks, you should be applauding them, they are trying to change the paradigm brought on by the repressive matriarch who has brow beat us since time immemorial to "wash you bum".

Or maybe they are just lazy, either or.
 
2014-05-13 06:06:49 PM  
Just axe her for some butt secks.
 
2014-05-13 06:08:35 PM  
Wearing boxer shorts will. ;-)

/Been there; done that.
 
2014-05-13 06:08:55 PM  
Good lord, first it was lead to manipulate the people in one direction, then it was vaccines, then GMOs, now it's population control via our youth's obsession with their musk. This cannot stand!
 
2014-05-13 06:09:04 PM  
The hell it won't, I've been to jersey
 
2014-05-13 06:14:23 PM  
Skip Axe.   Wear Bleu by Chanel.

\It was a present.
\\It works.
\\\At least on her. ;)
 
2014-05-13 06:16:39 PM  
FTA:  Niels E. Skakkebaek

I was glancing through the article, could've sworn it said "Bukkake."

GoSurfing: Speed Stick By Mennen original


Haha, no.
 
2014-05-13 06:19:25 PM  
"Mmm, you smell nice, What are you wearing?"
"Old Spice."
"Ew, that reminds me of my dad!"
"I know."
 
2014-05-13 06:20:26 PM  
I used to use Axe, but stopped after I had my third compound skull fracture.
 
2014-05-13 06:22:41 PM  
The Axe Instinct (no longer made) shower gel rocked though.

/leather
 
2014-05-13 06:25:44 PM  

accelerus: Damn - I need to go buy some Axe body spray then... I never want to have kids

(32 year old single white male)

Probably won't smell as good though -- hard to beat Armani Code or Aqua Di Gio.


Emporio Armani.
 
2014-05-13 06:30:39 PM  

Mark Ratner: Phony_Soldier: hundreddollarman: I do not trust a man who wears cologne to work.

As someone who wears cologne to work, I can say that you are right not to trust me. You should get a lock for your lunch box, BTW. That is a sexy sandwich you have there.

Why do you wear cologne to work? Seriously


Exactly. Men wear cologne to pick up chicks. So he must be picking up chicks he works with? Have fun with HR. Also some people are sensitive, even allergic, to certain perfumes and colognes. Fella must be a hit in the workplace.
 
2014-05-13 06:34:50 PM  
Wtf, what's next subby, chopping wood with gasoline?
 
2014-05-13 06:37:21 PM  
People who where scents to work should be smacked upside the head IMHO. I've noticed that some women really lather it on, sometimes to the point that it makes my eyes water in the morning (not allergic). I have no idea WTF they are thinking. I don't mind subtle and I'm sure many of the people I don't smell are wearing products in sane amounts but damn, some people just don't know when to stop dousing themselves.

I can't remember the last time I smelled it on a male at work. Geeks males apparently know to not do that, at least around here.
 
2014-05-13 06:38:26 PM  

Kuta: Skip Axe.   Wear Bleu by Chanel.

\It was a present.
\\It works.
\\\At least on her. ;)


Holy gods we dated the same girl? She bought it for me too. She had no gag reflex. Great girl.
 
2014-05-13 06:46:24 PM  

Jument: People who where scents to work should be smacked upside the head IMHO. I've noticed that some women really lather it on, sometimes to the point that it makes my eyes water in the morning (not allergic). I have no idea WTF they are thinking. I don't mind subtle and I'm sure many of the people I don't smell are wearing products in sane amounts but damn, some people just don't know when to stop dousing themselves.

I can't remember the last time I smelled it on a male at work. Geeks males apparently know to not do that, at least around here.


One of the women I work with douses herself in perfume and lotion for one week every month. Must not be feeling so fresh.
 
TWX
2014-05-13 06:53:10 PM  

Phil Clinton: accelerus: Damn - I need to go buy some Axe body spray then... I never want to have kids

(32 year old single white male)

Probably won't smell as good though -- hard to beat Armani Code or Aqua Di Gio.

This.

Strangely enough I have both of those colognes as well. Christmas gifts from mom and sis.

/Great minds and all that


Or, if the next Christmas gift is body wash, maybe they're trying to tell you something...
 
2014-05-13 06:54:43 PM  

Jument: People who where scents to work should be smacked upside the head IMHO. I've noticed that some women really lather it on, sometimes to the point that it makes my eyes water in the morning (not allergic). I have no idea WTF they are thinking. I don't mind subtle and I'm sure many of the people I don't smell are wearing products in sane amounts but damn, some people just don't know when to stop dousing themselves.


I used to have a boss who had that multiple chemical sensitivity, or whatever it's called, and she could not handle odors at all. (She really had it too, not just whining about something). Reeking people distressed her quite a bit, because she had a job where she had to deal with the public quite a bit and sometimes she had to run away from someone. They shampooed the carpets where we worked and she had to take several days off.
 
2014-05-13 07:19:33 PM  

TWX: Phil Clinton: accelerus: Damn - I need to go buy some Axe body spray then... I never want to have kids

(32 year old single white male)

Probably won't smell as good though -- hard to beat Armani Code or Aqua Di Gio.

This.

Strangely enough I have both of those colognes as well. Christmas gifts from mom and sis.

/Great minds and all that

Or, if the next Christmas gift is body wash, maybe they're trying to tell you something...


Haha, well played sir. Well played...
 
2014-05-13 07:21:36 PM  

Super Chronic: UncleStumpy: Please tell my pubescent step sons doing that will also not get you a girlfriend, they don't believe me

My 13-year-old daughter reports that half the boys in her grade spray themselves with Axe and it's disgusting.

So you can go tell your stepsons that you heard from some guy on the Internet that girls their age don't like it. I'm sure that will be persuasive.


About a year ago I crashed at my sisters house.I woke up took a shower and used my nephews axe.It was the third smelliest thing I've ever smelled.I pulled the kid aside and told him about Old Spice.He was 13 then
 
TWX
2014-05-13 07:22:21 PM  

Phil Clinton: TWX: Phil Clinton: accelerus: Damn - I need to go buy some Axe body spray then... I never want to have kids

(32 year old single white male)

Probably won't smell as good though -- hard to beat Armani Code or Aqua Di Gio.

This.

Strangely enough I have both of those colognes as well. Christmas gifts from mom and sis.

/Great minds and all that

Or, if the next Christmas gift is body wash, maybe they're trying to tell you something...

Haha, well played sir. Well played...


*grin* glad it was interpreted in the spirit it was intended...
 
2014-05-13 07:56:57 PM  
Oh, thank god! This is good news.
 
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