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(NewsAdvance)   Clueless conservatives unknowingly echo the Onion by (yet again) complaining of "homosexuals forced down our throats"   (newsadvance.com) divider line 46
    More: Amusing, homosexuals forced, Capitol Square, Ninth Street, opponents of same-sex marriage, United States courts of appeals  
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2179 clicks; posted to Politics » on 13 May 2014 at 3:47 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-13 01:40:54 PM
Bruce Heffernan, chairman of the Frederick Douglass Foundation, told the crowd, "Things have gotten so bad that even when you're watching ESPN on Mother's Day we have the kisses of homosexuals forced down our throats." Added Heffernan, "and why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock? I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."
 
2014-05-13 01:46:17 PM
Dean Nelson, chairman of the Frederick Douglass Foundation, told the crowd, "Things have gotten so bad that even when you're watching ESPN on Mother's Day we have the kisses of homosexuals forced down our throats. To not just think of those sweaty young men, groping and kissing one another, but to watch it too really gets my blood boiling. And I'm not the only one who feels such things - that's why I have many young men on my staff at the Foundation, many men behind me who are not afraid to come up and say 'Oh, God! Protect marriage,' even if it whips liberals into a froth."
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-05-13 01:52:50 PM
I'm sure he claims it wasn't voluntary now that people have found out about it.
 
2014-05-13 02:07:39 PM
You'll get over it
 
2014-05-13 02:14:54 PM
"These two relationships serve an entirely different purpose," Niemeyer said.

We're going to scrutinize purposes now?  Is that really a thread you want to tug at?
 
2014-05-13 02:19:55 PM

Theaetetus: Dean Nelson, chairman of the Frederick Douglass Foundation, told the crowd, "Things have gotten so bad that even when you're watching ESPN on Mother's Day we have the kisses of homosexuals forced down our throats [appended funny stuff]..."


I guess the lesson here is that people would be more tolerant of black gay people if they would just stop acting so black gay.

DuBois would like a word with these nitwits.
 
2014-05-13 02:34:20 PM
We will teach school children that Dean Nelson is a piece of shiat a generation from now.
 
2014-05-13 02:38:09 PM
 
2014-05-13 03:44:35 PM
These f*ckers go into church every Sunday and close their eyes and hold hands with other dudes, and read passages from a semi-historical fictional book which they follow literally, a book that says among other things don't judge others, and then they spend the rest of their time judging others.

Mind. Gobbling.
 
2014-05-13 03:55:34 PM

bdub77: These f*ckers go into church every Sunday and close their eyes and hold hands with other dudes, and read passages from a semi-historical fictional book which they follow literally, a book that says among other things don't judge others, and then they spend the rest of their time judging others.

Mind. Gobbling.


Only the parts they like and suit them for a time.
 
2014-05-13 03:55:40 PM
Conservatives are so resistant to sucking it up in public after lying down and taking it for so long in private.
 
2014-05-13 03:57:00 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-13 03:58:18 PM
The best part of the Michael Sam thing was the parody reactions from gay people.

"Oh great, now how am I supposed to explain to my kids about football?"

"It's fine if he wants to play football, but does he have flaunt it on national TV in front of everyone?"

Etc.
 
2014-05-13 04:01:55 PM
s2.quickmeme.com
 
2014-05-13 04:03:06 PM
You just know when this guy asked jesus into his soul, Jesus decided to take the guy's "scenic route"

/he's gay... for jesus!
 
2014-05-13 04:03:28 PM

Doc Daneeka: The best part of the Michael Sam thing was the parody reactions from gay people.

"Oh great, now how am I supposed to explain to my kids about football?"

"It's fine if he wants to play football, but does he have flaunt it on national TV in front of everyone?"

Etc.


I am deeply disturbed by those people and their recruiting.  For crying out loud, they actually had a televised draft going on last weekend!  And I just learned that some of them are being paid ungodly sums of money to engage in football.

Someone should put a stop to their agenda.
 
2014-05-13 04:05:34 PM
images.amcnetworks.com
 
2014-05-13 04:12:13 PM
media.her.ie
 
2014-05-13 04:13:34 PM

Diogenes: Theaetetus: Dean Nelson, chairman of the Frederick Douglass Foundation, told the crowd, "Things have gotten so bad that even when you're watching ESPN on Mother's Day we have the kisses of homosexuals forced down our throats [appended funny stuff]..."

I guess the lesson here is that people would be more tolerant of black gay people if they would just stop acting so black gay.

DuBois would like a word with these nitwits.


WEB or Blanche?
 
2014-05-13 04:14:52 PM
Homosexuality seems to be chapping a lot of asses these days, leaving a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths. But since there doesn't seem to be any way to beat off the onslaught, we're going to have to just learn to suck it up.

/It's very hard on our culture, is what I'm saying.
 
2014-05-13 04:14:53 PM
Conservatives think about gay sex more than Robert Mappelthorpe did.

They think about gay sex more often than I think about a threeway with Zac Effron and Jake Gyllenhall.
 
2014-05-13 04:16:18 PM

Doc Daneeka: The best part of the Michael Sam thing was the parody reactions from gay people.

"Oh great, now how am I supposed to explain to my kids about football?"

"It's fine if he wants to play football, but does he have flaunt it on national TV in front of everyone?"

Etc.


Some of them are going to get CTE.  It's a dangerous lifestyle.
 
2014-05-13 04:18:23 PM

Arkanaut: Diogenes: Theaetetus: Dean Nelson, chairman of the Frederick Douglass Foundation, told the crowd, "Things have gotten so bad that even when you're watching ESPN on Mother's Day we have the kisses of homosexuals forced down our throats [appended funny stuff]..."

I guess the lesson here is that people would be more tolerant of black gay people if they would just stop acting so black gay.

DuBois would like a word with these nitwits.

WEB or Blanche?


ROFL.  Well done.

/but i meant w.e.b
 
2014-05-13 04:21:05 PM

vernonFL: Conservatives think about gay sex more than Robert Mappelthorpe did.

They think about gay sex more often than I think about a threeway with Zac Effron and Jake Gyllenhall.


they think about gay sex more often than tom of finland
 
2014-05-13 04:24:00 PM
God invented CTE because he hates football players.
 
2014-05-13 04:33:37 PM

tricycleracer: God invented CTE Clevelandbecause he hates football players.

 
2014-05-13 04:46:00 PM
We always knew football was gay.

All those tight ends and wide receivers.
 
2014-05-13 05:19:11 PM

Somacandra: Bruce Heffernan, chairman of the Frederick Douglass Foundation, told the crowd, "Things have gotten so bad that even when you're watching ESPN on Mother's Day we have the kisses of homosexuals forced down our throats." Added Heffernan, "and why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock? I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."


Were they watching that ultimate fighting stuff? Cuz I've seen some holds that... ummm. yeah.


/Do I need to start watching ESPN? I am a straight woman but appreciate hot dudes getting sweaty with each other.
 
2014-05-13 05:28:09 PM

Diogenes: Doc Daneeka: The best part of the Michael Sam thing was the parody reactions from gay people.

"Oh great, now how am I supposed to explain to my kids about football?"

"It's fine if he wants to play football, but does he have flaunt it on national TV in front of everyone?"

Etc.

I am deeply disturbed by those people and their recruiting.  For crying out loud, they actually had a televised draft going on last weekend!  And I just learned that some of them are being paid ungodly sums of money to engage in football.

Someone should put a stop to their agenda.


I hear they're even teaching football in the public schools. Even graphically "coaching" kids in various football techniques and positions.
 
2014-05-13 05:28:30 PM

bdub77: These f*ckers go into church every Sunday and close their eyes and hold hands with other dudes, and read passages from a semi-historical fictional book which they follow literally, a book that says among other things don't judge others, and then they spend the rest of their time judging others.

Mind. Gobbling.


You realize you are railing against a caricature and not reality, right?
 
2014-05-13 05:42:03 PM
My favorite recent argument against gay marriage comes from Kentucky:

"man-man and woman-woman couples cannot procreate" and Kentucky has an interest in encouraging procreation in the name of promoting "long-term economic stability through stable birth rates."

Because if you don't let gay people get married they'll HAVE to start having straight sex.
 
2014-05-13 05:44:27 PM

sprawl15: [i.imgur.com image 575x1449]

Ah, yes: the program for which the Comic Sans MS font was invented, and its only legitimate purpose.
 
2014-05-13 05:45:25 PM

Doc Daneeka: Diogenes: Doc Daneeka: The best part of the Michael Sam thing was the parody reactions from gay people.

"Oh great, now how am I supposed to explain to my kids about football?"

"It's fine if he wants to play football, but does he have flaunt it on national TV in front of everyone?"

Etc.

I am deeply disturbed by those people and their recruiting.  For crying out loud, they actually had a televised draft going on last weekend!  And I just learned that some of them are being paid ungodly sums of money to engage in football.

Someone should put a stop to their agenda.

I hear they're even teaching football in the public schools. Even graphically "coaching" kids in various football techniques and positions.


They even raise vast unholy temples to Football and staff them with thousands of devotees during their Football rituals "The Scrum" the "Halftime" show.
 
2014-05-13 06:15:56 PM

Gyrfalcon: We always knew football was gay.

All those tight ends and wide receivers.


Yep
 
2014-05-13 06:36:35 PM
o.onionstatic.com
 
2014-05-13 06:37:07 PM

Theaetetus: Dean Nelson, chairman of the Frederick Douglass Foundation, told the crowd, "Things have gotten so bad that even when you're watching ESPN on Mother's Day we have the kisses of homosexuals forced down our throats. To not just think of those sweaty young men, groping and kissing one another, but to watch it too really gets my blood boiling. And I'm not the only one who feels such things - that's why I have many young men on my staff at the Foundation, many men behind me who are not afraid to come up and say 'Oh, God! Protect marriage,' even if it whips liberals into a froth."


Is this a new thing you're doing? It cracked me up earlier in the midst of blind rage at comments on other websites. Keep it up.
 
2014-05-13 07:09:14 PM
Judge Niemeyer called same-sex marriage a "new relationship" that should not be compared with the traditional definition of marriage as between a man and a woman.

"These two relationships serve an entirely different purpose," Niemeyer said.


How exactly can gay marriages be a "new relationship" when all they're asking is to be treated legally the same as the old "straight marriages"?  They're not asking for new rights, they're asking to be granted the same old rights heterosexuals already have.

What the exact fark does he think the "entirely different purpose" of gay marriage is that isn't already covered by existing marriages?

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-13 07:46:43 PM
I sure could go for some homosexual crammed down MY throat.

Why should the conservatives get to hog it all?
 
2014-05-13 07:52:13 PM

Lucky LaRue: bdub77: These f*ckers go into church every Sunday and close their eyes and hold hands with other dudes, and read passages from a semi-historical fictional book which they follow literally, a book that says among other things don't judge others, and then they spend the rest of their time judging others.

Mind. Gobbling.

You realize you are railing against a caricature and not reality, right?


No. I've met them. I know them. I've seen them. These people exist. Just because their actual lives are more complicated than that doesn't mean they don't take those actions or live by their prejudices. Some of them can be quite nice inside their echo chamber.
 
2014-05-13 09:48:01 PM
Judge Niemeyer called same-sex marriage a "new relationship" that should not be compared with the traditional definition of marriage as between a man and a woman.
"These two relationships serve an entirely different purpose," Niemeyer said.


And what is the old and new 'purpose', judge?

FOAD.
 
2014-05-13 09:55:58 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: I sure could go for some homosexual crammed down MY throat.

Why should the conservatives get to hog it all?


Lol, awesome comeback.

Weirdly, this pops up in my GIS for "gays crammed down our thoats":

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-13 10:00:10 PM

SphericalTime: The My Little Pony Killer: I sure could go for some homosexual crammed down MY throat.

Why should the conservatives get to hog it all?

Lol, awesome comeback.

Weirdly, this pops up in my GIS for "gays crammed down our thoats":

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 575x489]


SANDRA BULLOCK IS STEALING HER SOUL!!!!
 
2014-05-14 08:57:12 AM
Personally I'm sick and tired with failed conservative ideas being forced down our throats.

/and up our asses
 
2014-05-14 09:05:57 AM
I hope this works, and the bad is shot down because it "creates two classes of people".
I'm tired of catering to all the cripples, and I will happily cite this as a reason to no longer do so.

I don't care if you're in a wheelchair.  My building has super steep steps, and it stays that way. Screw your ramp.  Your disability law was creating multiple classes, so it's not legal.
Also, note that you need to jump across the pit to reach the restroom. Because fark you, that's why.
 
2014-05-14 12:14:38 PM
Clueless conservatives unknowingly echo the Onion by (yet again) complaining of "homosexuals forced down our throats"

Come on, conservatives!  Nobody is forcing you to blow those guys.
 
2014-05-14 10:07:57 PM

Theaetetus: Dean Nelson, chairman of the Frederick Douglass Foundation, told the crowd, "Things have gotten so bad that even when you're watching ESPN on Mother's Day we have the kisses of homosexuals forced down our throats. To not just think of those sweaty young men, groping and kissing one another, but to watch it too really gets my blood boiling. And I'm not the only one who feels such things - that's why I have many young men on my staff at the Foundation, many men behind me who are not afraid to come up and say 'Oh, God! Protect marriage,' even if it whips liberals into a froth."


I wouldn't be at all surprised. Ladies protesting too much, what, what?
 
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