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(Daily Mail)   I'm sorry but my dog did not like the room, my girlfriend's snoring kept me awake and you served me left chicken legs when I specifically ordered right legs therefore I must lodge a complaint   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 42
    More: Silly, Benidorm  
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6989 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2014 at 9:50 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-13 06:12:52 PM  
The only time I ever complained about anything in a hotel room was the time I ordered "Die Another Day" on pay-per-view.
 
2014-05-13 06:41:04 PM  

fusillade762: The only time I ever complained about anything in a hotel room was the time I ordered "Die Another Day" on pay-per-view.


...which is German for "The Another Day".
 
2014-05-13 07:35:19 PM  
9. 16 pillows (for a single guest)

There is nothing unusual about wanting to build a pillow fort.

Also, why provide the entire list, and then spend 9 paragraphs after it saying exactly what the list said? Don't ever change Daily Fail.
 
2014-05-13 07:43:16 PM  
I did get a chuckle about the steak on the vegetarian menu. But how many of these are just trolling?
 
2014-05-13 09:59:10 PM  

Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: I did get a chuckle about the steak on the vegetarian menu. But how many of these are just trolling?


91...92%

Reads like fake Amazon reviews.
 
2014-05-13 10:00:13 PM  
Pulled from the pages of The Consumerist, no doubt.
 
2014-05-13 10:02:08 PM  
"you served me left chicken legs when I specifically ordered right legs..."

At least they didn't serve you a left Twix. That would've driven anybody postal.
 
2014-05-13 10:02:09 PM  
They must be like the secret service. Everything is taken dead seriously. No sense of humour.
 
2014-05-13 10:05:15 PM  

GoldSpider: Pulled from the pages of The Consumerist, no doubt.


That reminds me, have we had any of their greenlit sob stories recently or do the mods have more of a yen for Dear Prudence fiction these days?
 
2014-05-13 10:06:35 PM  

Hz so good: "you served me left chicken legs when I specifically ordered right legs..."

At least they didn't serve you a left Twix. That would've driven anybody postal.


Seriously. Only pedophiles and Nazis like their caramel flowed onto the cookie and bathed in chocolate.
 
2014-05-13 10:11:37 PM  

Bowen: Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: I did get a chuckle about the steak on the vegetarian menu. But how many of these are just trolling?

91...92%

Reads like fake Amazon reviews.


I'd say maybe two of those were actual complaints rather than trolls. Hotels do get some ridiculous complaints though. While shopping for a hotel in NYC, I settled on a Clarion across the street from LGA because it was super cheap and easy to navigate to and from. The main complaint I read online was "the hallways are all sloped! You have to walk uphill to get to your room!". I expected the (again, cheap) hotel to be rundown in such fashion that the floors were sagging, causing the slope, but actually the hotel was just built into a slope. The back end was six feet higher than the front, so there was indeed a gentle ramping of the floor to eliminate the need for steps and keep it handicap accessible. Even though it was obvious this was the reason, people still considered this a reason to give a bad review.
 
2014-05-13 10:15:38 PM  
Tactful complainers.

Last time I checked into a hotel the room was 1 door from the elevator. Who cares?

Insert card in door, shreaking infant comes from next room. Look at GF and say "give me 15 minutes".

Did I biatch about the crying baby next door?

No.

Room was too close to the elevator. Nothing critical, BUT if there's an open room at the end of the hall I hope it isn't too much to ask for.
 
2014-05-13 10:17:05 PM  
My hotel room turned me into a newt.
 
2014-05-13 10:29:35 PM  
Mother of the groom needs to back up
 
2014-05-13 10:39:49 PM  
Oy.  I should have compiled a list of all the stupid stuff I heard from my 7 years in the hotel industry.
 
2014-05-13 10:44:15 PM  
"Ice cream is too cold" is not, on the surface, a completely bogus complaint.  Ice cream should be soft without being too melty.  Rock-hard ice cream is no good.

Of course, the fact that the ice cream will be properly soft  after simply waiting five minutes does make it rather a silly thing to complain about.  If you don't have the extra five minutes to wait for your dessert to soften, you probably should have skipped dessert to begin with.

If it had been the other way, "Ice cream is too soft," then that WOULD be a legitimate thing to complain about, because it doesn't get fixed simply by letting it sit there.
 
2014-05-13 10:45:39 PM  
I was a cook at a Holiday Inn back in the late 80s, and I had a guest that was a very important repeat customer and we were told that we had to basically bend over backwards for him... well he came in and ordered a NY Strip steak rare... so I sliced a nice slab, trimmed the fat off and cooked it rare.. he sent it back.. too done.. so I tried again... same thing..

So I had him come into the kitchen and show me how he wanted his steak.. he tossed it on the grill picked it up immediately flipped it, and again, immediately placed it on the plate.. it barely did anything to it.. I grabbed the plate and told him that I WILL NOT serve this as it is unsafe, if he wanted this he needs to go home and cook it himself and then I told him to leave.. well the manager of the hotel came in and he was fuming.. until I told him what the guest wanted... he put him on the perma ban list...

some people just don't realize that just because they eat something that rare at home.. a restaurant cannot serve something that under cooked.. I hate making rare steaks anyways.. but I draw the line at that one.. lol
 
2014-05-13 11:00:23 PM  

Kazahmish: ...he tossed it on the grill picked it up immediately flipped it, and again, immediately placed it on the plate..


Ah, the old "black and blue". My aunt (an ER nurse) does the same thing. 2 minutes on one side, 1 minute on the other.  Grosses me out everytime, and I like my steak very rare.

*shudder*
 
2014-05-13 11:17:08 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-13 11:17:51 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-13 11:21:47 PM  
I remember the hotel staff in Coronado coming to sing Happy Birthday to a guests dog!!!! She definatley enjoyed her stay! It was outrageous and the owner was a HUGE treat that cruised around in the lobby in his robe. It was almost the highlight of that dump.
 
2014-05-13 11:43:28 PM  
Woah! I never even thought about how some drumsticks are the left leg and some are the right. Now I'm going to be checking when I eat.

And wings too, obviously.
 
2014-05-13 11:59:01 PM  

Hz so good: Kazahmish: ...he tossed it on the grill picked it up immediately flipped it, and again, immediately placed it on the plate..

Ah, the old "black and blue". My aunt (an ER nurse) does the same thing. 2 minutes on one side, 1 minute on the other.  Grosses me out everytime, and I like my steak very rare.

*shudder*


Check her incisors.
If they are an inch long or longer push a steak thru her heart.

(Typo intentional)

I'm the type of person who MIGHT complain if there is a decomposing corpse in the middle of the living room.
Otherwise...

Seriously though, things I've complained about:
- bathroom stank. It was probably that the shower curtain was washed and wasn't aired out, or it was NEVER washed. The mildew smell put it close to a public bathroom smell
-the view. It was a very decent hotel in Singapore. The room itself was awful. Hotels in Asia tend to build crappy rooms on lower floors, then improve as you go higher. Corner rooms are usually more spacious. (Found the opposite to be true in Europe in terms of corner rooms). I think the hotel was trying to screw me over since I had paid for a week in advance as part of a package. Anyways, get to the room, open the curtains and see the top of the residential building right next to us. It was dirty, full of nicknacks and old battered bicycles. The room itself was so small, I asked the porter that we had requested an extra bed, where will they put it? And honest to God, he looks around, then finally points to the passage at the foot of the beds; blocking it. I created a scene in the lobby and was given a much, much better room.
- I've complained in a 5 star hotel about their guest services, or lack thereof. They had a one touch button (guest services) on their phone...which nobody freakin answered. I ordered a baby cot at around 9pm. 10:30pm, when everyone else is asleep, I hear this knock on the door. I open it, and the guy says "you ordered some blankets?" I look at the bunch of blankets in his hand, look back at him and say "no. I ordered a baby cot. AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I did NOT order any blankets. And the baby is asleep now, so I don't need it.
- delayed check-in. Which can be a pain, especially if it was a trip to get there and you have kids running around the lobby.
-my access cards kept failing. They'd make new ones, first time I'd use them, fine. Later they won't work. I made sure to keep them away from the phone and in my wallet. Once I even asked for two cards and put them in different pockets. Same thing. I think they got some cheap cards with flimsy magnetic strips.

Really, though, I try to block bad experiences from my mind or simply go "guess I'm not coming here again"
 
2014-05-14 01:00:33 AM  
People who think that all those are fake have never worked with the public or left their home to see how some people behave.
 
2014-05-14 01:04:05 AM  
Why did I read that as goat balls?
 
2014-05-14 01:09:15 AM  
Resident Muslim:

I'm the type of person who MIGHT complain if there is a decomposing corpse in the middle of the living room.
Otherwise...

Seriously though, things I've complained about:
- delayed check-in. Which can be a pain, especially if it was a trip to get there and you have kids running around the lobby.


One of my best friends has worked in the hotel industry for several years. There's a couple of reasons for this (generally) that are not the desk staff's fault:

1- The idiots in sales overbooked the hotel and didn't bother letting anyone know what they did (they said they booked 70 rooms, but as it turns out, the group arrives and needs 80 rooms--which sales knew, but never updated the paperwork on), so by the time you arrive, they're scrambling to find you a room because now, they have 200 rooms and 210 reservations. Not your fault or problem, but not the desk staff's fault, either. And trust me, they are every bit as frustrated--if not more so--as you are. Sweet Jesus, you would not believe how many desk staff have quit because of the abuse they take from customers over this.

2- Some idiot housekeeper decided that their sammich was more important than getting your room ready for check in. I wish I was making this shiat up, but it's so damn ridiculous, you can't make it up. And it's a valid complaint that all y'all should be posting on whatever sites you rate hotels on: housekeeping didn't have the room ready for check-in. Seriously. Ask if that is the reason and then post that shiat in the ratings because in some hotels, that is the only way to get rid of those lazy damned idiots who won't do their jobs.

Now, not saying that any Farkers are guilty of this, but why is it that when people go to a hotel, they lose their damn minds and start acting like an idiot on a reality show (like dude in the bathrobe that made them sing happy birthday to his dog in TFA)? No, those poor people trying to help you don't know who you are, they probably don't care, because right then, you are being a complete and total asshole on the level of Paris-Kanye-Lindsay-Hilton-Kardashian. Take a chill pill and learn to smile. They will bend over backwards for you if you make even a small effort to not be an ass about something they--and you--have no control over.
 
2014-05-14 02:27:12 AM  

Aigoo: Resident Muslim:

I'm the type of person who MIGHT complain if there is a decomposing corpse in the middle of the living room.
Otherwise...

Seriously though, things I've complained about:
- delayed check-in. Which can be a pain, especially if it was a trip to get there and you have kids running around the lobby.

One of my best friends has worked in the hotel industry for several years. There's a couple of reasons for this (generally) that are not the desk staff's fault:

1- The idiots in sales overbooked the hotel and didn't bother letting anyone know what they did (they said they booked 70 rooms, but as it turns out, the group arrives and needs 80 rooms--which sales knew, but never updated the paperwork on), so by the time you arrive, they're scrambling to find you a room because now, they have 200 rooms and 210 reservations. Not your fault or problem, but not the desk staff's fault, either. And trust me, they are every bit as frustrated--if not more so--as you are. Sweet Jesus, you would not believe how many desk staff have quit because of the abuse they take from customers over this.

2- Some idiot housekeeper decided that their sammich was more important than getting your room ready for check in. I wish I was making this shiat up, but it's so damn ridiculous, you can't make it up. And it's a valid complaint that all y'all should be posting on whatever sites you rate hotels on: housekeeping didn't have the room ready for check-in. Seriously. Ask if that is the reason and then post that shiat in the ratings because in some hotels, that is the only way to get rid of those lazy damned idiots who won't do their jobs.

Now, not saying that any Farkers are guilty of this, but why is it that when people go to a hotel, they lose their damn minds and start acting like an idiot on a reality show (like dude in the bathrobe that made them sing happy birthday to his dog in TFA)? No, those poor people trying to help you don't know who you are, they probably don't care, because right then, you are being a complete and total asshole on the level of Paris-Kanye-Lindsay-Hilton-Kardashian. Take a chill pill and learn to smile. They will bend over backwards for you if you make even a small effort to not be an ass about something they--and you--have no control over.


Understood.
And really, creating a scene is a last (but very effective) resort.
And only for valid reasons.


I've found that, at least for resorts, the reason for delayed check-in is usually people taking their time checking out while the hotel is fully booked.
 
2014-05-14 02:40:44 AM  
Resident Muslim:

Understood.
And really, creating a scene is a last (but very effective) resort.
And only for valid reasons.

I've found that, at least for resorts, the reason for delayed check-in is usually people taking their time checking out while the hotel is fully booked.


Oh, in resorts, totally. Because "don't you know, I paid for this vacation!" Never mind that the folks trying to check in paid for that shiat, too, and your selfish, arrogant, entitled ass is delaying their vacation.

(If you're seeing a trend, it's because I really, really dislike selfish, inconsiderate, and generally unkind people for whom that is a character trait. Humans can all be occasionally selfish, inconsiderate, or unkind, but it's not a character trait of most people as a general rule.)

And that wasn't directed at you even though I quoted you. The possible reasons for check-in delays in non-resort (I should have clarified) hotels was in direct response to your check-in delay complaint (which is valid--I was just explaining things that I've had my friend vent about happening at their place of employment). It was more an overall commentary on TFA (which I have no doubt that, even though it was Daily Fail article, every complaint listed in it is probably completely true and not made up in the slightest) and the complete absurdity of humanity and how people in general tend to treat anyone in the service industry. And if you deal with customers at all, in any way, you pretty much are more or less in the service industry, so you know: people are batshiat crazy.
 
2014-05-14 02:42:02 AM  
The tide is out.
 
2014-05-14 02:54:34 AM  

Resident Muslim: Hz so good: Kazahmish: ...he tossed it on the grill picked it up immediately flipped it, and again, immediately placed it on the plate..

Ah, the old "black and blue". My aunt (an ER nurse) does the same thing. 2 minutes on one side, 1 minute on the other.  Grosses me out everytime, and I like my steak very rare.

*shudder*

Check her incisors.
If they are an inch long or longer push a steak thru her heart.

(Typo intentional)

I'm the type of person who MIGHT complain if there is a decomposing corpse in the middle of the living room.
Otherwise...


I'm not much of a complainer, either. Not that I've stayed in many hotels. I guess the worst one was in West Virginia. It was a decent-sized place, but well past its prime.

Mom and I were visiting family nearby but didn't want to stress out their well. So. There we stayed at this hotel with all its glory faded away. Our room had what seemed to be thrift store furniture and cracks in the ceiling. Pretty sure the bathroom worked, but uh, not that well. The best part was that the fire alarm went off twice during our stay, at night (maybe it went off more during the day, but we weren't there for that). Both were false alarms. Still rather alarming, though.

Not a great stay. I didn't complain. Mom didn't complain. Well, neither of us complained to the hotel, anyway.

/We haven't been back
//The hotel was well aware of the problem
///Hope they've fixed it
////I mean, talk about a fire trap...
 
2014-05-14 04:55:22 AM  
As someone currently browsing FARK from her night auditor's desk at a hotel, I'm getting a kick.

/these complaints are not that far fetched
//most of the shiat you blame on the front desk is never the front desks fault
///we're just the most convenient to yell at
 
2014-05-14 05:53:21 AM  
Also, you kept mentioning the War.
 
2014-05-14 06:42:07 AM  

scottydoesntknow: 9. 16 pillows (for a single guest)

There is nothing unusual about wanting to build a pillow fort.

Also, why provide the entire list, and then spend 9 paragraphs after it saying exactly what the list said? Don't ever change Daily Fail.


This.

Did Boko Haram kidnap all the editors?
 
2014-05-14 06:45:09 AM  
Also..

Everyone knows that LEFT chicken wings are the best!!!
 
2014-05-14 07:25:38 AM  
and I said no salt, NO salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass
 
2014-05-14 08:21:04 AM  
I used to work as night manager at a Marriott and one person requesting 16 pillows isn't unheard of. It happens every couple of months although it's usually because they're having their entire extended family stay in the room with them.

Weirdest requests I ever got included someone taking the bathroom door off the hinges and bringing it down to the front desk to ask them to fix the bathroom lock, and a woman who called us about two hours after she'd left for the day and asked us to check on her baby, which she had left sleeping on the bed. We called the cops.
 
2014-05-14 08:54:20 AM  

whatshisname: My hotel room turned me into a newt.


Did you get better..??
 
2014-05-14 09:49:39 AM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: I used to work as night manager at a Marriott and one person requesting 16 pillows isn't unheard of. It happens every couple of months although it's usually because they're having their entire extended family stay in the room with them.

Weirdest requests I ever got included someone taking the bathroom door off the hinges and bringing it down to the front desk to ask them to fix the bathroom lock, and a woman who called us about two hours after she'd left for the day and asked us to check on her baby, which she had left sleeping on the bed. We called the cops.


Good.
 
2014-05-14 09:57:30 AM  
images.tvrage.com

Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House, perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeasts swinging majestically...
 
2014-05-14 10:19:34 AM  

Kazahmish: I was a cook at a Holiday Inn back in the late 80s, and I had a guest that was a very important repeat customer and we were told that we had to basically bend over backwards for him... well he came in and ordered a NY Strip steak rare... so I sliced a nice slab, trimmed the fat off and cooked it rare.. he sent it back.. too done.. so I tried again... same thing..

So I had him come into the kitchen and show me how he wanted his steak.. he tossed it on the grill picked it up immediately flipped it, and again, immediately placed it on the plate.. it barely did anything to it.. I grabbed the plate and told him that I WILL NOT serve this as it is unsafe, if he wanted this he needs to go home and cook it himself and then I told him to leave.. well the manager of the hotel came in and he was fuming.. until I told him what the guest wanted... he put him on the perma ban list...

some people just don't realize that just because they eat something that rare at home.. a restaurant cannot serve something that under cooked.. I hate making rare steaks anyways.. but I draw the line at that one.. lol



My wife has a friend that, when the server asked her how rare she wanted her steak, said "show the cow a picture of fire".  :)

/she got it cooked rare
//everyone got a good laugh though
 
2014-05-14 10:33:37 AM  
Bendal:
My wife has a friend that, when the server asked her how rare she wanted her steak, said "show the cow a picture of fire".  :)

/she got it cooked rare
//everyone got a good laugh though


I like that one. I'm going to have to steal that.
 
2014-05-14 11:15:14 AM  

Rabid Badger Beaver Weasel: Bendal:
My wife has a friend that, when the server asked her how rare she wanted her steak, said "show the cow a picture of fire".  :)

/she got it cooked rare
//everyone got a good laugh though

I like that one. I'm going to have to steal that.


Ha! That is awesome.
 
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