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(USA Today)   Lawyers for Kentucky argue that same-sex marriages will wreck the state's economic future. That's the joke   (usatoday.com) divider line 32
    More: Dumbass, Kentucky, opponents of same-sex marriage, rational basis, Steve Beshear, birth rates, Southern Indiana, United States Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit  
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3068 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2014 at 9:52 AM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-05-13 10:10:46 AM  
12 votes:

Neondistraction: And how much of the state's money are they pissing away trying to defend this law?  Pretty much every state that has passed similar bans on same-sex marriage have had those laws ruled unconstitutional and overturned.  Do they really think that they're going to somehow be that  one state that manages to make it stick?


Nope, rather it's a very long-view marketing campaign. For example, as a result of  Loving v. Virginia, the state gained the slogan:
www.virginia.org
Clearly, Kentucky is hoping that their case will go to the Supreme Court for its sweeping decision on gay marriage, so that they can grab a piece of the resulting tourism:
www.freewoodpost.com
2014-05-13 10:00:49 AM  
11 votes:
In the 32-page appeal, attorney Leigh Gross Latherow says Kentucky has an interest in maintaining birth rates, which if allowed to fall can induce economic crises because of the reduced demand for good and services, and the reduction of the work force.
Latherow explained in the appeal how allowing gays to marry would reduce the birth rate among heterosexual couples, stating that many married couples in Kentucky, particularly conservative Republicans, are actually closeted homosexuals who have been trapped in resentful, unloving relationships.  Latherow cited the popular term "beard", and noted that many homosexuals have children, for example, as a result of dutiful eyes-closed sex while fantasizing about their real preferred partner.  Allowing gay marriage, the appeal concludes, would mean that these bitter and spiteful, yet fruitful faux-heterosexual relationships would not exist, with a resulting reduction in birth rates.
2014-05-13 09:56:55 AM  
11 votes:
Once married Kentucky couples will have 18 months to conceive. If no offspring is produced the couples will be fined $2000.00 and given a state issued baby.
2014-05-13 10:12:12 AM  
5 votes:
When you have no actual arguments beyond "my religion doesn't approve of the gheys" then you grasp for straws.  When you grasp for straws, you look like a dipshiat.  When you look like a dipshiat, you end up on the wrong side of history.

Don't end up on the wrong side of history.
2014-05-13 09:50:10 AM  
4 votes:
Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.
2014-05-13 10:24:25 AM  
3 votes:

If we allow people to become doctors, we'll all starve, because there'll be no farmers.

Therefore, ban doctors.

2014-05-13 09:02:10 AM  
3 votes:
 Beshear's hired counsel say Kentucky has a legitimate interest in encouraging procreation to support "long-term economic stability through stable birth rates."

Yeah, if I weren't allowed to gay marry my husband in Minnesota, I'd totally be gettin' Brandine pregnant instead as THAT'S HOW SEXUALITY WORKS. Dumbass.
2014-05-13 01:01:52 PM  
2 votes:

stpauler: Beshear's hired counsel say Kentucky has a legitimate interest in encouraging procreation to support "long-term economic stability through stable birth rates."

Yeah, if I weren't allowed to gay marry my husband in Minnesota, I'd totally be gettin' Brandine pregnant instead as THAT'S HOW SEXUALITY WORKS. Dumbass.


Y'ain't never visited Kayntuckee, has ya? The ancient institution of traditional marriage is the only thing that protects other men, farm animals, parlor furniture, and occasional fenceposts from the unbridled lust of the Kentuckian male.
2014-05-13 10:43:31 AM  
2 votes:

Rigby-Reardon: Once married Kentucky couples will have 18 months to conceive. If no offspring is produced the couples will be fined $2000.00 and given a state issued baby.


That doesn't help.  Giving a couple an already existing child doesn't increase population; it just moves the population around.  The correct solution is that the woman will be impregnanted, forcibly if necessary, to insure she makes more babies - and that she is impregnated immediately after birthing, as long as she is pre-menopausal.

img.fark.net
2014-05-13 10:28:04 AM  
2 votes:

jbrad47128: What wrecks the State's economic future is its inability to move forward with vital infrastructure and other necessary projects to make the State more attractive to business.  It's taken them more than 30 years to finally get some needed bridges built that will bring the logistics value of the State up to close to the modern era.  Education is still considered to be lacking in many respects, small counties/towns are frequently at war with the major "Golden Triangle" players in the State.  We keep raping the earth to scavenge as much of its fossilized fuels as can be extracted, then when we have a mess of stuff, it frequently ends up getting dumped into vital water ways in the State.


Should not the Noah's Ark theme park help to turn that situation around?
2014-05-13 10:25:11 AM  
2 votes:

Duane Dibbley: James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.

James!, I like you. You're not like the other people here in this trailer park.


I like you too, but I will deny you my essence.
2014-05-13 10:23:09 AM  
2 votes:

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


James!, I like you. You're not like the other people here in this trailer park.
2014-05-13 10:06:55 AM  
2 votes:
You meet an asshole in the morning, you've met an asshole
cdni.condenast.co.uk
You meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.
2014-05-13 09:55:24 AM  
2 votes:
Are they legalizing incest too? Babies is babies.
2014-05-13 09:29:28 AM  
2 votes:
Wait until they find out how much gay people spend.
2014-05-13 01:43:27 PM  
1 votes:

svanmeter: Darwin agrees


I like how you keep repeating this line even though it's been explained to you why it's bullshiat several times. That's dedication.
2014-05-13 12:55:14 PM  
1 votes:
To be fair, the state does get most of its income from "16 and Pregnant" residuals.
2014-05-13 12:47:31 PM  
1 votes:

G. Tarrant: The funny part to me is that if they'd just look at the development of nearly any neighborhood in a large city after the gays move in, the property values tend to rise, not fall, and economic activity tends to increase, not decrease.

Gay people are more likely to have income to spend BECAUSE they don't have kids. They can end up with MORE disposable income that they spend on consumer goods, clothes, home improvement, fancy furniture, restaurants, etc.

If they really wanted to ensure economic prosperity, make a place that gay people would WANT to go to, and they will come and spend money. And more money. They pay taxes, but don't use as many of the services because they don't have the kids, making it a profit for the government, not a loss.

Kentucky, just admit you think gays are icky. At least that's your truthful position. When you try to instead use easily refuted "statistics" it makes your case look worse.


Just because some of us think gays are icky (only the guys of course - and the butch lesbos) doesn't mean we don't support gay marriage. Quit trying to clump these homophobes in with us.
2014-05-13 12:35:22 PM  
1 votes:
Lawyers for Kentucky argue that same-sex marriages will wreck the state's economic future.

Well, at least now they have someone other than themselves to blame.
2014-05-13 12:17:17 PM  
1 votes:

Shorelinefarker: So bestiality is A-OK in Kentucky, but they're shiatting their pants at the idea of two adults who happen to be of the same gender getting hitched? Seems legit.


Hey, look, if bestiality were looked down upon in Kentucky, most of the women there would die old maids.
2014-05-13 11:50:32 AM  
1 votes:
Kentucky

KY
KY Jelly
Butsecks
Gay Marriage
It all makes sense now
2014-05-13 10:56:36 AM  
1 votes:

kbronsito: Arkanaut: kbronsito: If marriage is supposed to be our means to encourage reproduction, then why do we have a child tax credit? It seems to me that having two programs to encourage children duplicates efforts and is a waste of tax payer money.

It's funny because as conservatives grasp at the reproduction straw to fight same-sex marriage, they'll shame poor people for supposedly having lots of kids to get welfare money.

If there's a demographic with a high fertility rate out there, it's Mexicans. And yet, the pro-birth brigade doesn't seem to welcome Mexican babies, unless the term "anchor baby" was intended to be affectionate and I wasn't notified.


They're so cute, you just want to throw them overboard!

/sarcasm
2014-05-13 10:46:57 AM  
1 votes:

Arkanaut: kbronsito: If marriage is supposed to be our means to encourage reproduction, then why do we have a child tax credit? It seems to me that having two programs to encourage children duplicates efforts and is a waste of tax payer money.

It's funny because as conservatives grasp at the reproduction straw to fight same-sex marriage, they'll shame poor people for supposedly having lots of kids to get welfare money.


If there's a demographic with a high fertility rate out there, it's Mexicans. And yet, the pro-birth brigade doesn't seem to welcome Mexican babies, unless the term "anchor baby" was intended to be affectionate and I wasn't notified.
2014-05-13 10:18:30 AM  
1 votes:

Close2TheEdge: When you have no actual arguments beyond "my religion doesn't approve of the gheys" then you grasp for straws.  When you grasp for straws, you look like a dipshiat.  When you look like a dipshiat, you end up on the wrong side of history.

Don't end up on the wrong side of history.


TOO LATE!
31.media.tumblr.com
2014-05-13 10:13:24 AM  
1 votes:
Are law degrees cheap nowadays?
2014-05-13 10:08:07 AM  
1 votes:
How are gay couples going to stop straight couples from having babies?
2014-05-13 10:07:15 AM  
1 votes:

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


You revolting cock.
2014-05-13 10:03:19 AM  
1 votes:

ZombiesezCafeeeeeennnn: I suppose that the state of Kentucky will now require proof of fertility from both parties before issuing marriage licenses now.

If procreation is the whole argument, Polygamy should also be immediately legalized. A woman can only give birth every nine or so months, but men...they can shoot sperm practically all day every day, right?


Note to self, when interrupted mid-sentence please take a moment to re-read the words you've already typed so you don't look like a complete idiot for reasons other than the point you were trying to make.

Sincerely,
Your ego.
2014-05-13 10:03:12 AM  
1 votes:

Arkanaut: Despite all the pearl-clutching, every state in the union except for Rhode Island and Maine had population growth between 2010 and 2013 (Source). Kentucky is a little bit behind the pack but there's no reason to panic.


Maine and Rhode Island both legally recognize same-sex marriage. The negative population growth in those states therefore proves that same-sex marriage causes a decline in birth rates. Quad Erat Derp.
2014-05-13 09:54:35 AM  
1 votes:
Wow. Sounds like a Kentucky Cock-Fight.
2014-05-13 09:53:12 AM  
1 votes:

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


"Tilling" it?
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-05-13 09:10:54 AM  
1 votes:
Because they need some of those ghey genes to improve the local gene pool?
.
 
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