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(USA Today)   Lawyers for Kentucky argue that same-sex marriages will wreck the state's economic future. That's the joke   (usatoday.com) divider line 115
    More: Dumbass, Kentucky, opponents of same-sex marriage, rational basis, Steve Beshear, birth rates, Southern Indiana, United States Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit  
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3078 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2014 at 9:52 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



115 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-13 09:02:10 AM  
 Beshear's hired counsel say Kentucky has a legitimate interest in encouraging procreation to support "long-term economic stability through stable birth rates."

Yeah, if I weren't allowed to gay marry my husband in Minnesota, I'd totally be gettin' Brandine pregnant instead as THAT'S HOW SEXUALITY WORKS. Dumbass.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-05-13 09:10:54 AM  
Because they need some of those ghey genes to improve the local gene pool?
.
 
2014-05-13 09:29:28 AM  
Wait until they find out how much gay people spend.
 
2014-05-13 09:50:10 AM  
Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.
 
2014-05-13 09:53:12 AM  

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


"Tilling" it?
 
2014-05-13 09:53:32 AM  
You'd think the Hat-Design lobby would have a little more pull in Kentucky.
 
2014-05-13 09:54:35 AM  
Wow. Sounds like a Kentucky Cock-Fight.
 
2014-05-13 09:55:24 AM  
Are they legalizing incest too? Babies is babies.
 
2014-05-13 09:56:55 AM  
Once married Kentucky couples will have 18 months to conceive. If no offspring is produced the couples will be fined $2000.00 and given a state issued baby.
 
2014-05-13 09:57:50 AM  
The councils fighting gay marriage equality have only one argument, "we've got nothing so we'll just make shiat up."
 
2014-05-13 09:59:32 AM  
I suppose that the state of Kentucky will now require proof of fertility from both parties before issuing marriage licenses now.

If procreation is the whole argument, Polygamy should also be immediately legalized. A woman can only give birth every nine or so months, but men...they can shoot sperm practically all day every day, right?
 
2014-05-13 09:59:50 AM  
This procreation argument is so full of crap. There are many marriages that cannot procreate for multiple reasons. If children are going to be a requirement of marriage Newt Gingrich's marriages are not null and void.
 
2014-05-13 10:00:06 AM  
Despite all the pearl-clutching, every state in the union except for Rhode Island and Maine had population growth between 2010 and 2013 (Source). Kentucky is a little bit behind the pack but there's no reason to panic.
 
2014-05-13 10:00:49 AM  
In the 32-page appeal, attorney Leigh Gross Latherow says Kentucky has an interest in maintaining birth rates, which if allowed to fall can induce economic crises because of the reduced demand for good and services, and the reduction of the work force.
Latherow explained in the appeal how allowing gays to marry would reduce the birth rate among heterosexual couples, stating that many married couples in Kentucky, particularly conservative Republicans, are actually closeted homosexuals who have been trapped in resentful, unloving relationships.  Latherow cited the popular term "beard", and noted that many homosexuals have children, for example, as a result of dutiful eyes-closed sex while fantasizing about their real preferred partner.  Allowing gay marriage, the appeal concludes, would mean that these bitter and spiteful, yet fruitful faux-heterosexual relationships would not exist, with a resulting reduction in birth rates.
 
2014-05-13 10:00:49 AM  
I am certain that the lawyers for the state will be able to justify their argument by referencing data from other states showing a consistent pattern of a decline in birth rates following legal recognition of same-sex marriage. If the argument is not completely dishonest, then ample supporting evidence should be readily available.
 
2014-05-13 10:01:13 AM  

stpauler:  Beshear's hired counsel say Kentucky has a legitimate interest in encouraging procreation to support "long-term economic stability through stable birth rates."

Yeah, if I weren't allowed to gay marry my husband in Minnesota, I'd totally be gettin' Brandine pregnant instead as THAT'S HOW SEXUALITY WORKS. Dumbass.


Get in line, father, uncles and brothers come first.
 
2014-05-13 10:03:07 AM  
Because children aren't produced without (straight) marriage ever, and (straight) marriages always produce children.

Morons.
 
2014-05-13 10:03:11 AM  
"She cited recent dips in the economies of Germany and Japan tied to declines in birth rates."

I know, let's cite two countries that don't have same-sex marriage.  We could throw in Russia, South Korea, Ukraine, Belarus, etc while we're at it.
 
2014-05-13 10:03:12 AM  

Arkanaut: Despite all the pearl-clutching, every state in the union except for Rhode Island and Maine had population growth between 2010 and 2013 (Source). Kentucky is a little bit behind the pack but there's no reason to panic.


Maine and Rhode Island both legally recognize same-sex marriage. The negative population growth in those states therefore proves that same-sex marriage causes a decline in birth rates. Quad Erat Derp.
 
2014-05-13 10:03:19 AM  

ZombiesezCafeeeeeennnn: I suppose that the state of Kentucky will now require proof of fertility from both parties before issuing marriage licenses now.

If procreation is the whole argument, Polygamy should also be immediately legalized. A woman can only give birth every nine or so months, but men...they can shoot sperm practically all day every day, right?


Note to self, when interrupted mid-sentence please take a moment to re-read the words you've already typed so you don't look like a complete idiot for reasons other than the point you were trying to make.

Sincerely,
Your ego.
 
2014-05-13 10:03:48 AM  
And how much of the state's money are they pissing away trying to defend this law?  Pretty much every state that has passed similar bans on same-sex marriage have had those laws ruled unconstitutional and overturned.  Do they really think that they're going to somehow be that  one state that manages to make it stick?

And as has already been pointed out, their argument is ridiculous.  Gay people make up, on average, 10 percent of the population.  Even if those gay people would go on to have children if they weren't allowed to marry (which in itself is pants-on-head retarded) I don't think that 10% is enough to have that much of an affect on the birth rate.
 
2014-05-13 10:06:55 AM  
You meet an asshole in the morning, you've met an asshole
cdni.condenast.co.uk
You meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.
 
2014-05-13 10:07:13 AM  
I can't think of why Beshear is doing this. I don't think he can run for reelection. So just...why? He's been a moderate Dem all along.
 
2014-05-13 10:07:15 AM  

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


You revolting cock.
 
2014-05-13 10:07:35 AM  
the key word is "Lawyers".


Lawyers = Liars.
 
2014-05-13 10:08:07 AM  
How are gay couples going to stop straight couples from having babies?
 
2014-05-13 10:08:21 AM  
In any case, it's gay mirage.
 
2014-05-13 10:08:36 AM  
Solution: serve more whiskey at gay weddings. Kentucky's economy isn't just preserved but stronger than ever.
 
2014-05-13 10:09:18 AM  
Steve also doesn't seem to grasp that the state's population isn't decreasing due to a lowered birth-rate so much as it is because people are moving away.

If Kentucky were more of a progressive state (by recognizing and allowing gay marriage) then maybe so many of the young college grads and professionals wouldn't leave.

This argument of his is so stupid that even his own Attorney-General (who is a political beast and glad-handing sack of shiat of the highest order) won't touch it.
 
2014-05-13 10:10:46 AM  

Neondistraction: And how much of the state's money are they pissing away trying to defend this law?  Pretty much every state that has passed similar bans on same-sex marriage have had those laws ruled unconstitutional and overturned.  Do they really think that they're going to somehow be that  one state that manages to make it stick?


Nope, rather it's a very long-view marketing campaign. For example, as a result of  Loving v. Virginia, the state gained the slogan:
www.virginia.org
Clearly, Kentucky is hoping that their case will go to the Supreme Court for its sweeping decision on gay marriage, so that they can grab a piece of the resulting tourism:
www.freewoodpost.com
 
2014-05-13 10:10:53 AM  

jaylectricity: James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.

You revolting cock.


These cocks are revolting.  Yeah, they stink on ice.
 
2014-05-13 10:11:22 AM  
I've actually heard the opposite argument-same sex marriage is good for the economy because gays have huge weddings and hire caterers and bakers and wedding photographers and whatnot.
 
2014-05-13 10:12:12 AM  
When you have no actual arguments beyond "my religion doesn't approve of the gheys" then you grasp for straws.  When you grasp for straws, you look like a dipshiat.  When you look like a dipshiat, you end up on the wrong side of history.

Don't end up on the wrong side of history.
 
2014-05-13 10:12:55 AM  
"The institution of the man-woman marriage is deeply rooted in the history and traditions of our country," the appeal says. "A right to same-sex marriage is not."

So was slavery.  We got over ending that, I think we can get over letting two dudes exchange vows.
"We ain't a never done it that way before" is just about the stupidest farking reason you can come up with to outlaw something.
 
2014-05-13 10:13:24 AM  
Are law degrees cheap nowadays?
 
2014-05-13 10:15:00 AM  

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


What are they doing to the soil... curious??
 
2014-05-13 10:15:56 AM  

DubtodaIll: You'd think the Hat-Design lobby would have a little more pull in Kentucky.


Sorry... Derby season is over... no influence from the Hat Design lobby until late next April
 
2014-05-13 10:16:27 AM  
The wife and I were married in KY but we live in another state and had a kid. I have a brother who married in KY, had a kid and adopted another from out of state. My other brother is still in KY and doesn't have any kids. Clearly the marriage of gays is the cause for all of this.
 
2014-05-13 10:17:16 AM  

Karac: "The institution of the man-woman marriage is deeply rooted in the history and traditions of our country," the appeal says. "A right to same-sex marriage is not."

So was slavery.  We got over ending that, I think we can get over letting two dudes exchange vows.
"We ain't a never done it that way before" is just about the stupidest farking reason you can come up with to outlaw something.


It's slightly less stupid that their real reason: They think the gays are icky.
 
2014-05-13 10:18:03 AM  

ampoliros: The wife and I were married in KY but we live in another state and had a kid. I have a brother who married in KY, had a kid and adopted another from out of state. My other brother is still in KY and doesn't have any kids. Clearly the marriage of gays is the cause for all of this.


I'm from Kentucky, I had a kid and I'm not married. So.... my cousin should be able to marry his partner, right? I reproduced, they can get married.
 
2014-05-13 10:18:30 AM  

Close2TheEdge: When you have no actual arguments beyond "my religion doesn't approve of the gheys" then you grasp for straws.  When you grasp for straws, you look like a dipshiat.  When you look like a dipshiat, you end up on the wrong side of history.

Don't end up on the wrong side of history.


TOO LATE!
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-13 10:19:30 AM  
If marriage is supposed to be our means to encourage reproduction, then why do we have a child tax credit? It seems to me that having two programs to encourage children duplicates efforts and is a waste of tax payer money.
 
2014-05-13 10:19:33 AM  

ampoliros: The wife and I were married in KY but we live in another state and had a kid. I have a brother who married in KY, had a kid and adopted another from out of state. My other brother is still in KY and doesn't have any kids. Clearly the marriage of gays is the cause for all of this.



My wife and I don't have any kids. It must be because of the gays and not the hysterectomy she had a few years before we got married.
 
2014-05-13 10:19:48 AM  

jbrad47128: James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.

What are they doing to the soil... curious??


I don't recall that it's ever really explained.
 
2014-05-13 10:22:09 AM  

Rigby-Reardon: Once married Kentucky couples will have 18 months to conceive. If no offspring is produced the couples will be fined $2000.00 and given a state issued baby.


Does it come with government cheese?
 
2014-05-13 10:23:09 AM  

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


James!, I like you. You're not like the other people here in this trailer park.
 
2014-05-13 10:24:25 AM  

If we allow people to become doctors, we'll all starve, because there'll be no farmers.

Therefore, ban doctors.

 
2014-05-13 10:25:11 AM  

Duane Dibbley: James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.

James!, I like you. You're not like the other people here in this trailer park.


I like you too, but I will deny you my essence.
 
2014-05-13 10:25:34 AM  

Theaetetus: In the 32-page appeal, attorney Leigh Gross Latherow says Kentucky has an interest in maintaining birth rates, which if allowed to fall can induce economic crises because of the reduced demand for good and services, and the reduction of the work force.
Latherow explained in the appeal how allowing gays to marry would reduce the birth rate among heterosexual couples, stating that many married couples in Kentucky, particularly conservative Republicans, are actually closeted homosexuals who have been trapped in resentful, unloving relationships.  Latherow cited the popular term "beard", and noted that many homosexuals have children, for example, as a result of dutiful eyes-closed sex while fantasizing about their real preferred partner.  Allowing gay marriage, the appeal concludes, would mean that these bitter and spiteful, yet fruitful faux-heterosexual relationships would not exist, with a resulting reduction in birth rates.


I knew there was a good reason I have you fav'd
 
2014-05-13 10:25:41 AM  

Theaetetus: In the 32-page appeal, attorney Leigh Gross Latherow says Kentucky has an interest in maintaining birth rates, which if allowed to fall can induce economic crises because of the reduced demand for good and services, and the reduction of the work force.
Latherow explained in the appeal how allowing gays to marry would reduce the birth rate among heterosexual couples, stating that many married couples in Kentucky, particularly conservative Republicans, are actually closeted homosexuals who have been trapped in resentful, unloving relationships.  Latherow cited the popular term "beard", and noted that many homosexuals have children, for example, as a result of dutiful eyes-closed sex while fantasizing about their real preferred partner.  Allowing gay marriage, the appeal concludes, would mean that these bitter and spiteful, yet fruitful faux-heterosexual relationships would not exist, with a resulting reduction in birth rates.


Look, we all like to go farking around with a few guys a little bit every now and then, but you keep that shiat private and maintain a cover life.  It's the first rule of gay club.
 
2014-05-13 10:26:01 AM  
What wrecks the State's economic future is its inability to move forward with vital infrastructure and other necessary projects to make the State more attractive to business.  It's taken them more than 30 years to finally get some needed bridges built that will bring the logistics value of the State up to close to the modern era.  Education is still considered to be lacking in many respects, small counties/towns are frequently at war with the major "Golden Triangle" players in the State.  We keep raping the earth to scavenge as much of its fossilized fuels as can be extracted, then when we have a mess of stuff, it frequently ends up getting dumped into vital water ways in the State.
 
2014-05-13 10:26:28 AM  
Podunky has a worse problem with same family couples than same sex couples. They're making little inbred mutants.
 
2014-05-13 10:28:04 AM  

jbrad47128: What wrecks the State's economic future is its inability to move forward with vital infrastructure and other necessary projects to make the State more attractive to business.  It's taken them more than 30 years to finally get some needed bridges built that will bring the logistics value of the State up to close to the modern era.  Education is still considered to be lacking in many respects, small counties/towns are frequently at war with the major "Golden Triangle" players in the State.  We keep raping the earth to scavenge as much of its fossilized fuels as can be extracted, then when we have a mess of stuff, it frequently ends up getting dumped into vital water ways in the State.


Should not the Noah's Ark theme park help to turn that situation around?
 
2014-05-13 10:29:24 AM  

stpauler: Beshear's hired counsel say Kentucky has a legitimate interest in encouraging procreation to support "long-term economic stability through stable birth rates."

Yeah, if I weren't allowed to gay marry my husband in Minnesota, I'd totally be gettin' Brandine pregnant instead as THAT'S HOW SEXUALITY WORKS. Dumbass.


FTA: Latherow cited the popular term "beard", and noted that many homosexuals have children, for example, as a result of dutiful eyes-closed sex while fantasizing about their real preferred partner. Allowing gay marriage, the appeal concludes, would mean that these bitter and spiteful, yet fruitful faux-heterosexual relationships would not exist, with a resulting reduction in birth rates.

That's how it works sometimes, ergo let's force it on everyone. Because choice.

They must all have loveless marriages, and the only way for them to find any joy is to make everyone else's marriage suck that much more. I realize that's a trope, but I cannot fathom why else anyone would be so spiteful.
 
2014-05-13 10:29:32 AM  

kbronsito: If marriage is supposed to be our means to encourage reproduction, then why do we have a child tax credit? It seems to me that having two programs to encourage children duplicates efforts and is a waste of tax payer money.


It's funny because as conservatives grasp at the reproduction straw to fight same-sex marriage, they'll shame poor people for supposedly having lots of kids to get welfare money.
 
2014-05-13 10:31:08 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Are they legalizing incest too? Babies is babies.


This is KY we're talking about, that's just a set up for a "incest is already legal" snark if I've ever seen one.
 
2014-05-13 10:33:04 AM  

jaylectricity: James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.

You revolting cock.


Great. Now I have to listen to the Revolting Cocks at work. Jerk.
 
2014-05-13 10:34:18 AM  
Meh, not an actual quote - the point is the same.
 
2014-05-13 10:34:35 AM  

Dimensio: jbrad47128: What wrecks the State's economic future is its inability to move forward with vital infrastructure and other necessary projects to make the State more attractive to business.  It's taken them more than 30 years to finally get some needed bridges built that will bring the logistics value of the State up to close to the modern era.  Education is still considered to be lacking in many respects, small counties/towns are frequently at war with the major "Golden Triangle" players in the State.  We keep raping the earth to scavenge as much of its fossilized fuels as can be extracted, then when we have a mess of stuff, it frequently ends up getting dumped into vital water ways in the State.

Should not the Noah's Ark theme park help to turn that situation around?


Well, we could start building large wooden boats out of the wood ravaged from strip mine operations, put everybody's sets of cousins aunts & uncles on board, let them sail off through the slurry ponds.
 
2014-05-13 10:39:50 AM  

stpauler: Beshear's hired counsel say Kentucky has a legitimate interest in encouraging procreation to support "long-term economic stability through stable birth rates."

Yeah, if I weren't allowed to gay marry my husband in Minnesota, I'd totally be gettin' Brandine pregnant instead as THAT'S HOW SEXUALITY WORKS. Dumbass.


But if they allow gays to marry, that keeps them from being second class citizens and stops you from marrying Brandine to cover up your sexuality. Now, as she is single, she will have to have an abortion when Jim Bob knocks her up instead of just telling everybody that it is your kid.
 
2014-05-13 10:40:09 AM  
So I guess that means we should have penalties for women who don't have at least 2 babies by the time they're 35.
 
2014-05-13 10:43:31 AM  

Rigby-Reardon: Once married Kentucky couples will have 18 months to conceive. If no offspring is produced the couples will be fined $2000.00 and given a state issued baby.


That doesn't help.  Giving a couple an already existing child doesn't increase population; it just moves the population around.  The correct solution is that the woman will be impregnanted, forcibly if necessary, to insure she makes more babies - and that she is impregnated immediately after birthing, as long as she is pre-menopausal.

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-13 10:45:03 AM  
Darwin agrees
 
2014-05-13 10:46:31 AM  
FTA: "The institution of the man-woman marriage is deeply rooted in the history and traditions of our country," the appeal says. "A right to same-sex marriage is not."

So were a lot of "institutions": owning slaves, child labor, white-males-only voting, segregated water fountains, spousal abuse... some institutions that are "deeply rooted in the history and traditions of our country" need to change.

Why not just come clean and say "gheys r icky"?
 
2014-05-13 10:46:57 AM  

Arkanaut: kbronsito: If marriage is supposed to be our means to encourage reproduction, then why do we have a child tax credit? It seems to me that having two programs to encourage children duplicates efforts and is a waste of tax payer money.

It's funny because as conservatives grasp at the reproduction straw to fight same-sex marriage, they'll shame poor people for supposedly having lots of kids to get welfare money.


If there's a demographic with a high fertility rate out there, it's Mexicans. And yet, the pro-birth brigade doesn't seem to welcome Mexican babies, unless the term "anchor baby" was intended to be affectionate and I wasn't notified.
 
2014-05-13 10:47:34 AM  
The funny part to me is that if they'd just look at the development of nearly any neighborhood in a large city after the gays move in, the property values tend to rise, not fall, and economic activity tends to increase, not decrease.

Gay people are more likely to have income to spend BECAUSE they don't have kids. They can end up with MORE disposable income that they spend on consumer goods, clothes, home improvement, fancy furniture, restaurants, etc.

If they really wanted to ensure economic prosperity, make a place that gay people would WANT to go to, and they will come and spend money. And more money. They pay taxes, but don't use as many of the services because they don't have the kids, making it a profit for the government, not a loss.

Kentucky, just admit you think gays are icky. At least that's your truthful position. When you try to instead use easily refuted "statistics" it makes your case look worse.
 
2014-05-13 10:50:21 AM  
Because settling down with your partner is bad for society and sets a bad example.
 
2014-05-13 10:56:36 AM  

kbronsito: Arkanaut: kbronsito: If marriage is supposed to be our means to encourage reproduction, then why do we have a child tax credit? It seems to me that having two programs to encourage children duplicates efforts and is a waste of tax payer money.

It's funny because as conservatives grasp at the reproduction straw to fight same-sex marriage, they'll shame poor people for supposedly having lots of kids to get welfare money.

If there's a demographic with a high fertility rate out there, it's Mexicans. And yet, the pro-birth brigade doesn't seem to welcome Mexican babies, unless the term "anchor baby" was intended to be affectionate and I wasn't notified.


They're so cute, you just want to throw them overboard!

/sarcasm
 
2014-05-13 10:58:32 AM  

Arkanaut: kbronsito: If marriage is supposed to be our means to encourage reproduction, then why do we have a child tax credit? It seems to me that having two programs to encourage children duplicates efforts and is a waste of tax payer money.

It's funny because as conservatives grasp at the reproduction straw to fight same-sex marriage, they'll shame poor people for supposedly having lots of kids to get welfare money.


That's a feature of authoritarian personalities. Compartmentalized thinking. They literally do not think to reconcile the two thoughts "Damn gays dropping the birth rate" and "damn poors having kids"
 
2014-05-13 11:02:58 AM  

Jormungandr: Arkanaut: kbronsito: If marriage is supposed to be our means to encourage reproduction, then why do we have a child tax credit? It seems to me that having two programs to encourage children duplicates efforts and is a waste of tax payer money.

It's funny because as conservatives grasp at the reproduction straw to fight same-sex marriage, they'll shame poor people for supposedly having lots of kids to get welfare money.

That's a feature of authoritarian personalities. Compartmentalized thinking. They literally do not think to reconcile the two thoughts "Damn gays dropping the birth rate" and "damn poors having kids"


Or, you know, they could just be lying about why they don't want gay marriage.
 
2014-05-13 11:04:00 AM  
Just when I thought their arguments couldn't possibly get any dumber...

Seriously, that is so farking ridiculous I have to wonder if the state actually wants to lose this case.
 
2014-05-13 11:04:16 AM  
A Kentucky resident who was into that same-sex stuff:
1.bp.blogspot.com
/until she was converted
 
2014-05-13 11:10:48 AM  
The crap of the procreation argument is that nobody is trying to get rid of straight marriage, and procreative ability isn't even a litmus to get married... letting old people marry doesn't seem to discourage young people from having kids... so why not let gay people marry?
 
2014-05-13 11:14:11 AM  

MBooda: A Kentucky resident who was into that same-sex stuff:
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 600x300]
/until she was converted


I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE
 
2014-05-13 11:17:11 AM  

Arkanaut: Jormungandr: Arkanaut: kbronsito: If marriage is supposed to be our means to encourage reproduction, then why do we have a child tax credit? It seems to me that having two programs to encourage children duplicates efforts and is a waste of tax payer money.

It's funny because as conservatives grasp at the reproduction straw to fight same-sex marriage, they'll shame poor people for supposedly having lots of kids to get welfare money.

That's a feature of authoritarian personalities. Compartmentalized thinking. They literally do not think to reconcile the two thoughts "Damn gays dropping the birth rate" and "damn poors having kids"

Or, you know, they could just be lying about why they don't want gay marriage.


The ones in charge, certainly. But the ones who repeat it  certainly believe it. Just like they still believe Iraq was responsible for 9/11, a just war, and also a boondoggle that is Obama's fault.
 
2014-05-13 11:31:42 AM  
So, we all agree it is actually about THE MONEY.
Even in Full Retard Mode, the object of desire is actually THE MONEY.
 
2014-05-13 11:47:26 AM  
So bestiality is A-OK in Kentucky, but they're shiatting their pants at the idea of two adults who happen to be of the same gender getting hitched? Seems legit.
 
2014-05-13 11:50:32 AM  
Kentucky

KY
KY Jelly
Butsecks
Gay Marriage
It all makes sense now
 
2014-05-13 11:57:31 AM  
Aren't these lawyers totally embarrassed when they stand up and make such painfully bad arguments in front of a judge?

I mean, forget which side of the issue you're on, the logic they use is just piss poor.
 
2014-05-13 12:05:29 PM  

threedingers: Aren't these lawyers totally embarrassed when they stand up and make such painfully bad arguments in front of a judge?

I mean, forget which side of the issue you're on, the logic they use is just piss poor.


No, the schooling is to learn to Lie For Money, no embarrasement if you can truly take it to heart.
 
2014-05-13 12:09:06 PM  

threedingers: Aren't these lawyers totally embarrassed when they stand up and make such painfully bad arguments in front of a judge?

I mean, forget which side of the issue you're on, the logic they use is just piss poor.


I may not agree with the horrible things I say, but I'll defend to the death my right to say them!
 
2014-05-13 12:17:17 PM  

Shorelinefarker: So bestiality is A-OK in Kentucky, but they're shiatting their pants at the idea of two adults who happen to be of the same gender getting hitched? Seems legit.


Hey, look, if bestiality were looked down upon in Kentucky, most of the women there would die old maids.
 
2014-05-13 12:26:13 PM  
While I understand and approve of removing gender discrimination from marriage contracts across the nation, I also don't understand why gay people would choose to live in a state that hates them so much.

Example: I am, at best, described as an agnostic witch, if I'm anything at all in regards to religion. Either way, I don't buy into the Judeo-Christian stories one bit, and find most people involved in those religions to be mentally-stunted, judgmental jerks about 92.577% of the time. Ergo, I don't live in Kansas.

I also don't like large crowds, so I don't live in New York City.

I also don't like dying or losing all my stuff in a tornado, therefore I opted not to live in Oklahoma.

I used to live in the Detroit area. At one point, while working I had a gun shoved in my face. I decided I would like to avoid having another gun pointed at me, so I MOVED THE FARK OUT OF DETROIT... And since then, the gun-in-my-face problem has gone away.

So why wouldn't a gay couple just pack up, move to Massachussettes or somewhere welcoming, and leave the podunk assholes in Kentucky behind? There's no geography or landscape worth putting up with awful people.
 
2014-05-13 12:27:33 PM  
Nix Nightbird: (words)

So why wouldn't a gay couple just pack up, move to Massachussettes or somewhere welcoming, and leave the podunk assholes in Kentucky behind? There's no geography or landscape worth putting up with awful people.


Sorry Massachusetts, You didn't need any more "e" than you already have.
 
2014-05-13 12:35:22 PM  
Lawyers for Kentucky argue that same-sex marriages will wreck the state's economic future.

Well, at least now they have someone other than themselves to blame.
 
2014-05-13 12:37:56 PM  
God forbid with only 7 billion we should do anything to slow birth rate.
 
2014-05-13 12:41:47 PM  

Nix Nightbird: While I understand and approve of removing gender discrimination from marriage contracts across the nation, I also don't understand why gay people would choose to live in a state that hates them so much.

So why wouldn't a gay couple just pack up, move to Massachussettes or somewhere welcoming, and leave the podunk assholes in Kentucky behind? There's no geography or landscape worth putting up with awful people.


Hey, everyone, Nix has volunteered to pay moving expenses for anyone who wants to leave their state because of discrimination! Thanks, Nix, you're the best. Will you be paying with an oversized novelty check?

Many people don't have the liquid cash to pack up their entire lives and move to a different state, search for a new job, etc. This particularly applies to people who are the victims of discrimination. For example, in Kentucky, you can be fired or refused a job because you're gay. That might make it tough to scrape up the cash to leave those podunk assholes.
 
2014-05-13 12:47:31 PM  

G. Tarrant: The funny part to me is that if they'd just look at the development of nearly any neighborhood in a large city after the gays move in, the property values tend to rise, not fall, and economic activity tends to increase, not decrease.

Gay people are more likely to have income to spend BECAUSE they don't have kids. They can end up with MORE disposable income that they spend on consumer goods, clothes, home improvement, fancy furniture, restaurants, etc.

If they really wanted to ensure economic prosperity, make a place that gay people would WANT to go to, and they will come and spend money. And more money. They pay taxes, but don't use as many of the services because they don't have the kids, making it a profit for the government, not a loss.

Kentucky, just admit you think gays are icky. At least that's your truthful position. When you try to instead use easily refuted "statistics" it makes your case look worse.


Just because some of us think gays are icky (only the guys of course - and the butch lesbos) doesn't mean we don't support gay marriage. Quit trying to clump these homophobes in with us.
 
2014-05-13 12:55:14 PM  
To be fair, the state does get most of its income from "16 and Pregnant" residuals.
 
2014-05-13 12:58:58 PM  

Crewmannumber6: You meet an asshole in the morning, you've met an asshole
[cdni.condenast.co.uk image 642x390]
You meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.


I use this quote ALL THE TIME.
 
2014-05-13 01:01:52 PM  

stpauler: Beshear's hired counsel say Kentucky has a legitimate interest in encouraging procreation to support "long-term economic stability through stable birth rates."

Yeah, if I weren't allowed to gay marry my husband in Minnesota, I'd totally be gettin' Brandine pregnant instead as THAT'S HOW SEXUALITY WORKS. Dumbass.


Y'ain't never visited Kayntuckee, has ya? The ancient institution of traditional marriage is the only thing that protects other men, farm animals, parlor furniture, and occasional fenceposts from the unbridled lust of the Kentuckian male.
 
2014-05-13 01:08:28 PM  
I know a gay guy in Kansas that wants to get gay married.  Since he can't, he just goes around knocking up girls.  So the birth rate in Kansas is solid for the next generation.  Since nobody wants to move here, it's the only way to keep the population up.
 
2014-05-13 01:16:47 PM  

MLWS: Crewmannumber6: You meet an asshole in the morning, you've met an asshole
[cdni.condenast.co.uk image 642x390]
You meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.

I use this quote ALL THE TIME.


I wanted to use "The next one's comin' faster", but couldn't make it relevant to the thread.
 
2014-05-13 01:24:40 PM  
This, and some of the other briefs filed in favor of same-sex marriage bans, show how incoherent and stupid the argument against gay marriage is when you aren't allowed to use "But Jesus" as your argument.
 
2014-05-13 01:42:08 PM  

Muta: The councils fighting gay marriage equality have only one argument, "we've got nothing so we'll just make shiat up."


This. The procreation line has been tried how many times now? And every single time it gets dismissed.

I always laughed when Christie's dude tried to make that argument in front of the NJ Supreme Court, and one of the REPUBLICAN justices verbally biatch smacked him about it.
 
2014-05-13 01:43:27 PM  

svanmeter: Darwin agrees


I like how you keep repeating this line even though it's been explained to you why it's bullshiat several times. That's dedication.
 
2014-05-13 02:20:24 PM  
I kind of feel for the lawyers in situations like these - it's their job to go out and make these arguments, but there's no way that they (or for that matter anybody else with the benefit of at least a high school education) could actually believe them.

Must be tough, though I suppose the piles of money they get paid might make up for it.
 
2014-05-13 02:38:04 PM  

Nix Nightbird: While I understand and approve of removing gender discrimination from marriage contracts across the nation, I also don't understand why gay people would choose to live in a state that hates them so much.

Example: I am, at best, described as an agnostic witch, if I'm anything at all in regards to religion. Either way, I don't buy into the Judeo-Christian stories one bit, and find most people involved in those religions to be mentally-stunted, judgmental jerks about 92.577% of the time. Ergo, I don't live in Kansas.

I also don't like large crowds, so I don't live in New York City.

I also don't like dying or losing all my stuff in a tornado, therefore I opted not to live in Oklahoma.

I used to live in the Detroit area. At one point, while working I had a gun shoved in my face. I decided I would like to avoid having another gun pointed at me, so I MOVED THE FARK OUT OF DETROIT... And since then, the gun-in-my-face problem has gone away.

So why wouldn't a gay couple just pack up, move to Massachussettes or somewhere welcoming, and leave the podunk assholes in Kentucky behind? There's no geography or landscape worth putting up with awful people.


Moving takes money. A lot of people in these backwoods states, like ky and in (where I am) don't have the money to move. A lot of the time, they have jobs that pay so little money, moving is just a dream that will never get realized. That's why spreading marriage equality is so important... not everyone can move. Why should I move away from my family and loved ones to make bible beating devil dodgers happy?
 
2014-05-13 03:09:03 PM  

Neondistraction: And how much of the state's money are they pissing away trying to defend this law?  Pretty much every state that has passed similar bans on same-sex marriage have had those laws ruled unconstitutional and overturned.  Do they really think that they're going to somehow be that  one state that manages to make it stick?

And as has already been pointed out, their argument is ridiculous.  Gay people make up, on average, 10 percent of the population.  Even if those gay people would go on to have children if they weren't allowed to marry (which in itself is pants-on-head retarded) I don't think that 10% is enough to have that much of an affect on the birth rate.


Their whole argument is, if you allow gay marriage, then all the closet homosexuals wlll come out, doubling or even tripling the homosexual rate. Seriously, that's the argument they are unwittingly making ... that everyone is, in fact, a closet homosexual who will end their sham marriages in order to get gay-married.

/And a Herp to the Derp to the Herp Derp Derp...
 
2014-05-13 03:26:09 PM  

Biological Ali: I kind of feel for the lawyers in situations like these - it's their job to go out and make these arguments, but there's no way that they (or for that matter anybody else with the benefit of at least a high school education) could actually believe them.

Must be tough, though I suppose the piles of money they get paid might make up for it.


It's worth noting that the Attorney General of the Commonwealth of Kentucky threw up his hands, so the governor hired a law firm in Ashland (not in Louisville, not in Lexington... Ashland). Your dollar goes farther where the weeds meet the water.

So the governor wants to fight the ghey, at a cost to the taxpayer. This is weirder than the logic pretzels I get from friends that want to get off the grid but have no idea how to dig a well or build a house.
 
2014-05-13 03:37:20 PM  

Theaetetus: In the 32-page appeal, attorney Leigh Gross Latherow says Kentucky has an interest in maintaining birth rates, which if allowed to fall can induce economic crises because of the reduced demand for good and services, and the reduction of the work force.
Latherow explained in the appeal how allowing gays to marry would reduce the birth rate among heterosexual couples, stating that many married couples in Kentucky, particularly conservative Republicans, are actually closeted homosexuals who have been trapped in resentful, unloving relationships.  Latherow cited the popular term "beard", and noted that many homosexuals have children, for example, as a result of dutiful eyes-closed sex while fantasizing about their real preferred partner.  Allowing gay marriage, the appeal concludes, would mean that these bitter and spiteful, yet fruitful faux-heterosexual relationships would not exist, with a resulting reduction in birth rates.


Translation:  We want people in hate-filled sham marriages, rather than loving healthy relationships.

I lose, obviously.
 
2014-05-13 04:06:52 PM  
 
2014-05-13 04:28:21 PM  

Biological Ali: I kind of feel for the lawyers in situations like these - it's their job to go out and make these arguments, but there's no way that they (or for that matter anybody else with the benefit of at least a high school education) could actually believe them.

Must be tough, though I suppose the piles of money they get paid might make up for it.


Lawyes have every right to refuse a case. These guys chose to pursue this case. They are either true believers or greedy sacks of shiat. Maybe it sucks for some staffers and such, but the guys in front of the cameras are there purely for greed and/or stupidity.
 
2014-05-13 04:32:17 PM  

Nix Nightbird: While I understand and approve of removing gender discrimination from marriage contracts across the nation, I also don't understand why gay people would choose to live in a state that hates them so much.

Example: I am, at best, described as an agnostic witch, if I'm anything at all in regards to religion. Either way, I don't buy into the Judeo-Christian stories one bit, and find most people involved in those religions to be mentally-stunted, judgmental jerks about 92.577% of the time. Ergo, I don't live in Kansas.

I also don't like large crowds, so I don't live in New York City.

I also don't like dying or losing all my stuff in a tornado, therefore I opted not to live in Oklahoma.

I used to live in the Detroit area. At one point, while working I had a gun shoved in my face. I decided I would like to avoid having another gun pointed at me, so I MOVED THE FARK OUT OF DETROIT... And since then, the gun-in-my-face problem has gone away.

So why wouldn't a gay couple just pack up, move to Massachussettes or somewhere welcoming, and leave the podunk assholes in Kentucky behind? There's no geography or landscape worth putting up with awful people.


There are numerous reasons to live somewhere. Job and family/friends probably being the two biggest.

Hell, a lot of the gay people probably livein areas that are supportive.

Plus the very idea that you are moving purely because the government has denied you your rights is an issue in and of itself.
 
2014-05-13 04:55:14 PM  

dywed88: Biological Ali: I kind of feel for the lawyers in situations like these - it's their job to go out and make these arguments, but there's no way that they (or for that matter anybody else with the benefit of at least a high school education) could actually believe them.

Must be tough, though I suppose the piles of money they get paid might make up for it.

Lawyes have every right to refuse a case. These guys chose to pursue this case. They are either true believers or greedy sacks of shiat. Maybe it sucks for some staffers and such, but the guys in front of the cameras are there purely for greed and/or stupidity.


I'm not discounting the possibility that these lawyers might genuinely oppose same-sex marriage on religious grounds, but there is literally nobody (except for, perhaps, very young children) who would actually take this "birth rate" argument seriously.
 
2014-05-13 05:14:16 PM  
If they are REALLY worried about declining fertility rates, then they should stop educating women...

///Just joking, but educating women does much more to lower childbirth rates than gay marriage ever could- Kentucky is backing the wrong horse in their derby there!

http://www.un.org/News/Press/docs/2011/pop994.doc.htm
 
2014-05-13 05:42:38 PM  
Because if you don't let gay people get married they'll HAVE to start having straight sex.
 
2014-05-13 06:17:23 PM  
Face it the real reason for the ban is that in Kentucky if they allow this the next thing you know there will be sex between turtles and humans.

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-13 07:44:16 PM  
Is this a good time to talk about gay divorce?
Just sayin' a lot of the assumptions built into current system are lookin' for a female.
 
2014-05-13 07:51:57 PM  
Not enough people living in your state? Don't feel like increasing opportunities for new businesses? Sick of "out-of-staters" moving into your neighborhood? Infrastructure, Education, and Jobs seem like a waste of time?

Why not... Outlaw Gay Marriage!

/that will fix it right up!
 
2014-05-13 08:27:26 PM  

Biological Ali: dywed88: Biological Ali: I kind of feel for the lawyers in situations like these - it's their job to go out and make these arguments, but there's no way that they (or for that matter anybody else with the benefit of at least a high school education) could actually believe them.

Must be tough, though I suppose the piles of money they get paid might make up for it.

Lawyes have every right to refuse a case. These guys chose to pursue this case. They are either true believers or greedy sacks of shiat. Maybe it sucks for some staffers and such, but the guys in front of the cameras are there purely for greed and/or stupidity.

I'm not discounting the possibility that these lawyers might genuinely oppose same-sex marriage on religious grounds, but there is literally nobody (except for, perhaps, very young children) who would actually take this "birth rate" argument seriously.


I think you are underestimating a) the stupidity of people and b) the power of willfull ignorance.

But you added a third possibility, lying scumbags as a result of one of the first two.
 
2014-05-13 08:54:17 PM  
Why not?  The same argument worked out well in all the other states that tried it.

derpitty derpitty doo.
 
2014-05-14 12:22:49 AM  

Karac: Close2TheEdge: When you have no actual arguments beyond "my religion doesn't approve of the gheys" then you grasp for straws.  When you grasp for straws, you look like a dipshiat.  When you look like a dipshiat, you end up on the wrong side of history.

Don't end up on the wrong side of history.

TOO LATE!
[31.media.tumblr.com image 450x192]


they should have intensified the forward batteries

/don't want anything getting through
 
2014-05-14 12:48:47 AM  
I love how they explained the term "beard" when making their argument.
 
2014-05-14 08:44:00 AM  

Rigby-Reardon: Once married Kentucky couples will have 18 months to conceive. If no offspring is produced the couples will be fined $2000.00 and given a state issued baby.


don't give them ideas
 
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