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(USA Today)   Lawyers for Kentucky argue that same-sex marriages will wreck the state's economic future. That's the joke   (usatoday.com) divider line 115
    More: Dumbass, Kentucky, opponents of same-sex marriage, rational basis, Steve Beshear, birth rates, Southern Indiana, United States Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit  
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3061 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2014 at 9:52 AM (11 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-13 09:02:10 AM
 Beshear's hired counsel say Kentucky has a legitimate interest in encouraging procreation to support "long-term economic stability through stable birth rates."

Yeah, if I weren't allowed to gay marry my husband in Minnesota, I'd totally be gettin' Brandine pregnant instead as THAT'S HOW SEXUALITY WORKS. Dumbass.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-05-13 09:10:54 AM
Because they need some of those ghey genes to improve the local gene pool?
.
 
2014-05-13 09:29:28 AM
Wait until they find out how much gay people spend.
 
2014-05-13 09:50:10 AM
Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.
 
2014-05-13 09:53:12 AM

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


"Tilling" it?
 
2014-05-13 09:53:32 AM
You'd think the Hat-Design lobby would have a little more pull in Kentucky.
 
2014-05-13 09:54:35 AM
Wow. Sounds like a Kentucky Cock-Fight.
 
2014-05-13 09:55:24 AM
Are they legalizing incest too? Babies is babies.
 
2014-05-13 09:56:55 AM
Once married Kentucky couples will have 18 months to conceive. If no offspring is produced the couples will be fined $2000.00 and given a state issued baby.
 
2014-05-13 09:57:50 AM
The councils fighting gay marriage equality have only one argument, "we've got nothing so we'll just make shiat up."
 
2014-05-13 09:59:32 AM
I suppose that the state of Kentucky will now require proof of fertility from both parties before issuing marriage licenses now.

If procreation is the whole argument, Polygamy should also be immediately legalized. A woman can only give birth every nine or so months, but men...they can shoot sperm practically all day every day, right?
 
2014-05-13 09:59:50 AM
This procreation argument is so full of crap. There are many marriages that cannot procreate for multiple reasons. If children are going to be a requirement of marriage Newt Gingrich's marriages are not null and void.
 
2014-05-13 10:00:06 AM
Despite all the pearl-clutching, every state in the union except for Rhode Island and Maine had population growth between 2010 and 2013 (Source). Kentucky is a little bit behind the pack but there's no reason to panic.
 
2014-05-13 10:00:49 AM
In the 32-page appeal, attorney Leigh Gross Latherow says Kentucky has an interest in maintaining birth rates, which if allowed to fall can induce economic crises because of the reduced demand for good and services, and the reduction of the work force.
Latherow explained in the appeal how allowing gays to marry would reduce the birth rate among heterosexual couples, stating that many married couples in Kentucky, particularly conservative Republicans, are actually closeted homosexuals who have been trapped in resentful, unloving relationships.  Latherow cited the popular term "beard", and noted that many homosexuals have children, for example, as a result of dutiful eyes-closed sex while fantasizing about their real preferred partner.  Allowing gay marriage, the appeal concludes, would mean that these bitter and spiteful, yet fruitful faux-heterosexual relationships would not exist, with a resulting reduction in birth rates.
 
2014-05-13 10:00:49 AM
I am certain that the lawyers for the state will be able to justify their argument by referencing data from other states showing a consistent pattern of a decline in birth rates following legal recognition of same-sex marriage. If the argument is not completely dishonest, then ample supporting evidence should be readily available.
 
2014-05-13 10:01:13 AM

stpauler:  Beshear's hired counsel say Kentucky has a legitimate interest in encouraging procreation to support "long-term economic stability through stable birth rates."

Yeah, if I weren't allowed to gay marry my husband in Minnesota, I'd totally be gettin' Brandine pregnant instead as THAT'S HOW SEXUALITY WORKS. Dumbass.


Get in line, father, uncles and brothers come first.
 
2014-05-13 10:03:07 AM
Because children aren't produced without (straight) marriage ever, and (straight) marriages always produce children.

Morons.
 
2014-05-13 10:03:11 AM
"She cited recent dips in the economies of Germany and Japan tied to declines in birth rates."

I know, let's cite two countries that don't have same-sex marriage.  We could throw in Russia, South Korea, Ukraine, Belarus, etc while we're at it.
 
2014-05-13 10:03:12 AM

Arkanaut: Despite all the pearl-clutching, every state in the union except for Rhode Island and Maine had population growth between 2010 and 2013 (Source). Kentucky is a little bit behind the pack but there's no reason to panic.


Maine and Rhode Island both legally recognize same-sex marriage. The negative population growth in those states therefore proves that same-sex marriage causes a decline in birth rates. Quad Erat Derp.
 
2014-05-13 10:03:19 AM

ZombiesezCafeeeeeennnn: I suppose that the state of Kentucky will now require proof of fertility from both parties before issuing marriage licenses now.

If procreation is the whole argument, Polygamy should also be immediately legalized. A woman can only give birth every nine or so months, but men...they can shoot sperm practically all day every day, right?


Note to self, when interrupted mid-sentence please take a moment to re-read the words you've already typed so you don't look like a complete idiot for reasons other than the point you were trying to make.

Sincerely,
Your ego.
 
2014-05-13 10:03:48 AM
And how much of the state's money are they pissing away trying to defend this law?  Pretty much every state that has passed similar bans on same-sex marriage have had those laws ruled unconstitutional and overturned.  Do they really think that they're going to somehow be that  one state that manages to make it stick?

And as has already been pointed out, their argument is ridiculous.  Gay people make up, on average, 10 percent of the population.  Even if those gay people would go on to have children if they weren't allowed to marry (which in itself is pants-on-head retarded) I don't think that 10% is enough to have that much of an affect on the birth rate.
 
2014-05-13 10:06:55 AM
You meet an asshole in the morning, you've met an asshole
cdni.condenast.co.uk
You meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.
 
2014-05-13 10:07:13 AM
I can't think of why Beshear is doing this. I don't think he can run for reelection. So just...why? He's been a moderate Dem all along.
 
2014-05-13 10:07:15 AM

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


You revolting cock.
 
2014-05-13 10:07:35 AM
the key word is "Lawyers".


Lawyers = Liars.
 
2014-05-13 10:08:07 AM
How are gay couples going to stop straight couples from having babies?
 
2014-05-13 10:08:21 AM
In any case, it's gay mirage.
 
2014-05-13 10:08:36 AM
Solution: serve more whiskey at gay weddings. Kentucky's economy isn't just preserved but stronger than ever.
 
2014-05-13 10:09:18 AM
Steve also doesn't seem to grasp that the state's population isn't decreasing due to a lowered birth-rate so much as it is because people are moving away.

If Kentucky were more of a progressive state (by recognizing and allowing gay marriage) then maybe so many of the young college grads and professionals wouldn't leave.

This argument of his is so stupid that even his own Attorney-General (who is a political beast and glad-handing sack of shiat of the highest order) won't touch it.
 
2014-05-13 10:10:46 AM

Neondistraction: And how much of the state's money are they pissing away trying to defend this law?  Pretty much every state that has passed similar bans on same-sex marriage have had those laws ruled unconstitutional and overturned.  Do they really think that they're going to somehow be that  one state that manages to make it stick?


Nope, rather it's a very long-view marketing campaign. For example, as a result of  Loving v. Virginia, the state gained the slogan:
www.virginia.org
Clearly, Kentucky is hoping that their case will go to the Supreme Court for its sweeping decision on gay marriage, so that they can grab a piece of the resulting tourism:
www.freewoodpost.com
 
2014-05-13 10:10:53 AM

jaylectricity: James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.

You revolting cock.


These cocks are revolting.  Yeah, they stink on ice.
 
2014-05-13 10:11:22 AM
I've actually heard the opposite argument-same sex marriage is good for the economy because gays have huge weddings and hire caterers and bakers and wedding photographers and whatnot.
 
2014-05-13 10:12:12 AM
When you have no actual arguments beyond "my religion doesn't approve of the gheys" then you grasp for straws.  When you grasp for straws, you look like a dipshiat.  When you look like a dipshiat, you end up on the wrong side of history.

Don't end up on the wrong side of history.
 
2014-05-13 10:12:55 AM
"The institution of the man-woman marriage is deeply rooted in the history and traditions of our country," the appeal says. "A right to same-sex marriage is not."

So was slavery.  We got over ending that, I think we can get over letting two dudes exchange vows.
"We ain't a never done it that way before" is just about the stupidest farking reason you can come up with to outlaw something.
 
2014-05-13 10:13:24 AM
Are law degrees cheap nowadays?
 
2014-05-13 10:15:00 AM

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


What are they doing to the soil... curious??
 
2014-05-13 10:15:56 AM

DubtodaIll: You'd think the Hat-Design lobby would have a little more pull in Kentucky.


Sorry... Derby season is over... no influence from the Hat Design lobby until late next April
 
2014-05-13 10:16:27 AM
The wife and I were married in KY but we live in another state and had a kid. I have a brother who married in KY, had a kid and adopted another from out of state. My other brother is still in KY and doesn't have any kids. Clearly the marriage of gays is the cause for all of this.
 
2014-05-13 10:17:16 AM

Karac: "The institution of the man-woman marriage is deeply rooted in the history and traditions of our country," the appeal says. "A right to same-sex marriage is not."

So was slavery.  We got over ending that, I think we can get over letting two dudes exchange vows.
"We ain't a never done it that way before" is just about the stupidest farking reason you can come up with to outlaw something.


It's slightly less stupid that their real reason: They think the gays are icky.
 
2014-05-13 10:18:03 AM

ampoliros: The wife and I were married in KY but we live in another state and had a kid. I have a brother who married in KY, had a kid and adopted another from out of state. My other brother is still in KY and doesn't have any kids. Clearly the marriage of gays is the cause for all of this.


I'm from Kentucky, I had a kid and I'm not married. So.... my cousin should be able to marry his partner, right? I reproduced, they can get married.
 
2014-05-13 10:18:30 AM

Close2TheEdge: When you have no actual arguments beyond "my religion doesn't approve of the gheys" then you grasp for straws.  When you grasp for straws, you look like a dipshiat.  When you look like a dipshiat, you end up on the wrong side of history.

Don't end up on the wrong side of history.


TOO LATE!
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-13 10:19:30 AM
If marriage is supposed to be our means to encourage reproduction, then why do we have a child tax credit? It seems to me that having two programs to encourage children duplicates efforts and is a waste of tax payer money.
 
2014-05-13 10:19:33 AM

ampoliros: The wife and I were married in KY but we live in another state and had a kid. I have a brother who married in KY, had a kid and adopted another from out of state. My other brother is still in KY and doesn't have any kids. Clearly the marriage of gays is the cause for all of this.



My wife and I don't have any kids. It must be because of the gays and not the hysterectomy she had a few years before we got married.
 
2014-05-13 10:19:48 AM

jbrad47128: James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.

What are they doing to the soil... curious??


I don't recall that it's ever really explained.
 
2014-05-13 10:22:09 AM

Rigby-Reardon: Once married Kentucky couples will have 18 months to conceive. If no offspring is produced the couples will be fined $2000.00 and given a state issued baby.


Does it come with government cheese?
 
2014-05-13 10:23:09 AM

James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.


James!, I like you. You're not like the other people here in this trailer park.
 
2014-05-13 10:24:25 AM

If we allow people to become doctors, we'll all starve, because there'll be no farmers.

Therefore, ban doctors.

 
2014-05-13 10:25:11 AM

Duane Dibbley: James!: Well, Kentucky is farm country and you all know what the queers are doing to the soil.

James!, I like you. You're not like the other people here in this trailer park.


I like you too, but I will deny you my essence.
 
2014-05-13 10:25:34 AM

Theaetetus: In the 32-page appeal, attorney Leigh Gross Latherow says Kentucky has an interest in maintaining birth rates, which if allowed to fall can induce economic crises because of the reduced demand for good and services, and the reduction of the work force.
Latherow explained in the appeal how allowing gays to marry would reduce the birth rate among heterosexual couples, stating that many married couples in Kentucky, particularly conservative Republicans, are actually closeted homosexuals who have been trapped in resentful, unloving relationships.  Latherow cited the popular term "beard", and noted that many homosexuals have children, for example, as a result of dutiful eyes-closed sex while fantasizing about their real preferred partner.  Allowing gay marriage, the appeal concludes, would mean that these bitter and spiteful, yet fruitful faux-heterosexual relationships would not exist, with a resulting reduction in birth rates.


I knew there was a good reason I have you fav'd
 
2014-05-13 10:25:41 AM

Theaetetus: In the 32-page appeal, attorney Leigh Gross Latherow says Kentucky has an interest in maintaining birth rates, which if allowed to fall can induce economic crises because of the reduced demand for good and services, and the reduction of the work force.
Latherow explained in the appeal how allowing gays to marry would reduce the birth rate among heterosexual couples, stating that many married couples in Kentucky, particularly conservative Republicans, are actually closeted homosexuals who have been trapped in resentful, unloving relationships.  Latherow cited the popular term "beard", and noted that many homosexuals have children, for example, as a result of dutiful eyes-closed sex while fantasizing about their real preferred partner.  Allowing gay marriage, the appeal concludes, would mean that these bitter and spiteful, yet fruitful faux-heterosexual relationships would not exist, with a resulting reduction in birth rates.


Look, we all like to go farking around with a few guys a little bit every now and then, but you keep that shiat private and maintain a cover life.  It's the first rule of gay club.
 
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