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(Guardian)   British residents need an entire newspaper column to answer the question, "How do you eat nachos?"   (theguardian.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, British Residents, editorials, pulled pork  
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3814 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2014 at 12:26 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



152 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-13 11:34:44 AM  
However the fark you want to eat them. There's no uniformity with nachos, so you just resign yourself to the fact that you're going to make a huge mess and then dig in.

A note on etiquette
If you are British, please avoid the phrases, "loaded nachos" or "all the fixings". You are not a character in American Pie.


So did they just pick a movie with the word 'American' in it? I don't remember the phrase "loaded nachos" or "all the fixings" in it.
 
2014-05-13 12:13:04 PM  
As someone who grew up in Texas and now lives in California, I'll take advice on how to make nachos from an Englishman sometime shortly after the heat death of the universe.
 
2014-05-13 12:13:07 PM  
Well, it's a bit complex and you don't want to look stupid around Americans or we'll never let you hear the end of it. The chip tongs should be pretty self explanatory, but remember, the right way to deal with long strands of cheese is to pull it, then fold it atop the chip. Italians roll it like it was pasta and we're forever making fun of them at the finer restaurants.

If the cheese is melted, tradition dictates that you eat it right-handed, whereas a cheese sauce would mean you should eat it left-handed, although that dates back to the late 1800s when Irish immigrants used their right hands for cheese spoons, which have since been replaced with the Hanzer ladle--don't ask for one of those, the waiter will use it to give you extra cheese upon request.

If your group orders nachos with jalapenos, make sure to use the two-tined jalapeno fork if you'll be taking any from a communal dish. That much is essential, and many use the fork even in the nicer nacho restaurants when you get your own nacho plate. Americans from the south (primarily Georgia and South Carolina) often use the forks to remove any jalapeno seeds that the chef might have missed, although that's quite rare.

Also, most nacho dishes in the west have a dollop of sour cream on the top or the side when it comes to the table. If it's a communal plate, nobody will touch it until the guest of honor takes some of it. Please take some, as it's considered impolite at least, and even bad luck in places like Seattle and Portland. If you suffer from a dairy allergy, please let your host know before ordering. It's easier to skip the sour cream than face the complicated morass of dividing up the dollop once it comes to the table.
 
2014-05-13 12:17:36 PM  
Also, if you do this with your chips, you will assuredly get into a fight:

img.fark.net
DON'T DO THIS. EVER! I can't stress this enough.
 
2014-05-13 12:26:10 PM  
It doesn't have lyrics to the guacamole song, either. Or the protocol for Second Assembly when you get to the bottom of the dish. This article is useless.
 
2014-05-13 12:29:28 PM  
No, Brits, you can't have American cheese-and-tortilla-chips appetizers.

Nachos.
 
2014-05-13 12:29:46 PM  
Um....it seems pretty straight forward. As long as you don't go at it like it's a pie-eating contest, you're probably good to go.
 
2014-05-13 12:30:44 PM  

SmackLT: Well, it's a bit complex and you don't want to look stupid around Americans or we'll never let you hear the end of it. The chip tongs should be pretty self explanatory, but remember, the right way to deal with long strands of cheese is to pull it, then fold it atop the chip. Italians roll it like it was pasta and we're forever making fun of them at the finer restaurants.

If the cheese is melted, tradition dictates that you eat it right-handed, whereas a cheese sauce would mean you should eat it left-handed, although that dates back to the late 1800s when Irish immigrants used their right hands for cheese spoons, which have since been replaced with the Hanzer ladle--don't ask for one of those, the waiter will use it to give you extra cheese upon request.

If your group orders nachos with jalapenos, make sure to use the two-tined jalapeno fork if you'll be taking any from a communal dish. That much is essential, and many use the fork even in the nicer nacho restaurants when you get your own nacho plate. Americans from the south (primarily Georgia and South Carolina) often use the forks to remove any jalapeno seeds that the chef might have missed, although that's quite rare.

Also, most nacho dishes in the west have a dollop of sour cream on the top or the side when it comes to the table. If it's a communal plate, nobody will touch it until the guest of honor takes some of it. Please take some, as it's considered impolite at least, and even bad luck in places like Seattle and Portland. If you suffer from a dairy allergy, please let your host know before ordering. It's easier to skip the sour cream than face the complicated morass of dividing up the dollop once it comes to the table.


Well done Pocketninja....hey wait.
 
2014-05-13 12:31:20 PM  

timujin: As someone who grew up in Texas and now lives in California, I'll take advice on how to make nachos from an Englishman sometime shortly after the heat death of the universe.


The brits do fish and chips well.  Everything else would be surpassed by eating the boogers out of a dead man's nose
 
2014-05-13 12:31:35 PM  
With crooked teeth
 
2014-05-13 12:35:53 PM  
you need to fall into the warm loving embrace of stacks of fat and far too many carbs

Okay, fine. I'll give you a hug.
 
2014-05-13 12:36:35 PM  

scottydoesntknow: However the fark you want to eat them. There's no uniformity with nachos, so you just resign yourself to the fact that you're going to make a huge mess and then dig in.

A note on etiquette
If you are British, please avoid the phrases, "loaded nachos" or "all the fixings". You are not a character in American Pie.



Having an attitude like that is how Piers Morgan lost his job
 
2014-05-13 12:36:40 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Um....it seems pretty straight forward. As long as you don't go at it like it's a pie-eating contest, you're probably good to go.


Many cultures eat 'American' dishes differently. Like using a knife and fork for burgers, or pizza.

Americans often eat other cultural dishes oddly as well so it's a wash.

In a culture with no texmex being presented with a steaming bowl of cheese-chip soup is confusing to consume. You don't use a spoon, wtf do you do?!

/from texas
//the above was rhetorical
 
2014-05-13 12:37:02 PM  

scottydoesntknow: However the fark you want to eat them. There's no uniformity with nachos, so you just resign yourself to the fact that you're going to make a huge mess and then dig in.

A note on etiquette
If you are British, please avoid the phrases, "loaded nachos" or "all the fixings". You are not a character in American Pie.

So did they just pick a movie with the word 'American' in it? I don't remember the phrase "loaded nachos" or "all the fixings" in it.


They meant "American Frito Pie."
 
2014-05-13 12:38:10 PM  
TFAuthor says "no" to refried beans and olives on nachos? Good. More for me.
 
2014-05-13 12:42:50 PM  
1) Form hand(s) into a shovel
2) Shovel nachos into face-hole
 
2014-05-13 12:43:00 PM  
I always wanted to open a restaurant that sells Mexican and soul food. I was going to call it Nacho Mama.
 
2014-05-13 12:43:42 PM  
 life is too short to make your own tortilla and then fry up batches of chips

Two things, you lime eating heathen.
No. It's not.
And you're supposed to call them crisps in the wisdom of your farking limey farking attitude of farking up every possible thing about food that you can.

No go out to the dust bin and scoop up some bangers and mash and make me a proper Nacho wiht Toe-Mah_toe sauce, you freaking moran. Show me how you're going to fark up the best snack ever. . .

The boffins of industrial food processing have spent years perfecting the tortilla chip

Christ, you people are stupid. You couldn't get any dumber.
Therefore, avoid any sour cream and chive or chilli/lime-spiked chips and choose a bag from a point on the spectrum between "lightly salted" and Doritos Cool Original.Correction, you COULD get dumber.In fact, I'm just going to stop reading there, because I know I'm just going to have to write the Queen mother a letter and ask her to please have you executed in the tower of London and then kill herself for lording over such culinary retarded people.
 
2014-05-13 12:44:35 PM  

sendtodave: scottydoesntknow: However the fark you want to eat them. There's no uniformity with nachos, so you just resign yourself to the fact that you're going to make a huge mess and then dig in.

A note on etiquette
If you are British, please avoid the phrases, "loaded nachos" or "all the fixings". You are not a character in American Pie.

So did they just pick a movie with the word 'American' in it? I don't remember the phrase "loaded nachos" or "all the fixings" in it.

They meant "American Frito Pie."


When I was in elementary school they served that shiat to us as a 'meal'.  I thought it was dubious at best, wondering where the food was.  Frito Pie is disgusting (to me) and not a meal.  It's a snack, like those friend monstrosities people make at fairs like twinkies and cookies.
 
2014-05-13 12:44:50 PM  
Nachos for Brits, natch!

Nachos are a Mexican dish made of stale taco shells. They are traditionally eaten by donning a colourful plastic poncho made of plastic to keep the salsa and Nacho dust from turning your fat blubbery body as orange a Guido from Ocean City in a Speedo from Atlantic City. Some people just use a tarp as a bib or plastic sheets. If you sit in the front row you will be splashed like a big breasted blonde in the front row at a Gallagher show.  Sometimes Nachos are made into hats and sold to sports fans who have nowhere to put down a bowl of salsa with spilling it when their team scores. Fortunately this is not a problem your Mother has at sports events because she can cram a tub of salsa into her fat rolls or between her enormous dugong dugs.

Nachos can be covered with salsa or cheez-fud, an orange substance which is a result of an industrial accident involving genetically-modified scale insects and a nuclear reactor. The same substance has been adapted as a wax for surf boards. Cheez-fud can be melted onto nachos under a broiler or simply by exposing them to ultra-violet or gamma radiation. Some mutations are to be expected if you fail to do this.
 
2014-05-13 12:46:14 PM  
With a knife and fork, just like pizza.
 
2014-05-13 12:46:29 PM  

kroonermanblack: Wasilla Hillbilly: Um....it seems pretty straight forward. As long as you don't go at it like it's a pie-eating contest, you're probably good to go.

Many cultures eat 'American' dishes differently. Like using a knife and fork for burgers, or pizza.

Americans often eat other cultural dishes oddly as well so it's a wash.

In a culture with no texmex being presented with a steaming bowl of cheese-chip soup is confusing to consume. You don't use a spoon, wtf do you do?!

/from texas
//the above was rhetorical


Oh, come on. Do they not watch American TV/movies? Have they no boner pill advertisements? biatches be eating nachos all the time.
 
2014-05-13 12:48:06 PM  
really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.
 
2014-05-13 12:48:21 PM  
Yet they have no problems when it comes to eating corn on the cob through a picket fence
 
2014-05-13 12:50:10 PM  

Paul Baumer: really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.


i think they teach that at university.
 
2014-05-13 12:51:25 PM  
Don't make fun of the Bridish.

They just have trouble eating anything that isn't slimy or made from intestines.
 
2014-05-13 12:53:54 PM  
I use my mouth, but if'n you wanna try the South Park method, let me know how that goes.

// cannot imagine stuffing jalapenos up my bum
// bad enough when they come out that way after digestion, but before?
 
2014-05-13 12:54:36 PM  
My wife's cousin was in town from Rome and he had never eaten a taco before.  He tried to eat it the way our Chinese engineers do.  Like this:

www.i-am-bored.com

Not to say I would do any better.  I'm sure I handle chopsticks like an oaf.
 
2014-05-13 12:54:44 PM  

Egoy3k: SmackLT: Well, it's a bit complex and you don't want to look stupid around Americans or we'll never let you hear the end of it. The chip tongs should be pretty self explanatory, but remember, the right way to deal with long strands of cheese is to pull it, then fold it atop the chip. Italians roll it like it was pasta and we're forever making fun of them at the finer restaurants.

If the cheese is melted, tradition dictates that you eat it right-handed, whereas a cheese sauce would mean you should eat it left-handed, although that dates back to the late 1800s when Irish immigrants used their right hands for cheese spoons, which have since been replaced with the Hanzer ladle--don't ask for one of those, the waiter will use it to give you extra cheese upon request.

If your group orders nachos with jalapenos, make sure to use the two-tined jalapeno fork if you'll be taking any from a communal dish. That much is essential, and many use the fork even in the nicer nacho restaurants when you get your own nacho plate. Americans from the south (primarily Georgia and South Carolina) often use the forks to remove any jalapeno seeds that the chef might have missed, although that's quite rare.

Also, most nacho dishes in the west have a dollop of sour cream on the top or the side when it comes to the table. If it's a communal plate, nobody will touch it until the guest of honor takes some of it. Please take some, as it's considered impolite at least, and even bad luck in places like Seattle and Portland. If you suffer from a dairy allergy, please let your host know before ordering. It's easier to skip the sour cream than face the complicated morass of dividing up the dollop once it comes to the table.

Well done Pocketninja....hey wait.


Yeah, that had the mark of quality. I have directed persons of good humor to it.
 
2014-05-13 12:55:43 PM  

Dr Dreidel: I use my mouth, but if'n you wanna try the South Park method, let me know how that goes.

// cannot imagine stuffing jalapenos up my bum
// bad enough when they come out that way after digestion, but before?


Could you perhaps imagine stuffing a non-spicy pepper up your bum?
 
2014-05-13 12:56:17 PM  
With Gerald Ford watching the football game.

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-13 12:57:14 PM  
DNRTF - perhaps it was a foodie review of which beers go best with nachos? It's the only way I can think of to get a whole column out of "with beer"
 
2014-05-13 12:59:37 PM  
Of course the article on British Dental Hygiene is a smal 1"x3" panel, third to last page before the Classifieds.
 
2014-05-13 01:03:42 PM  
Britain has a very small Mexican population, hence bad/little Mexican food.

Our knowledge and quality of curries however, due to our large Indian/Bangladeshi/akistani population, is second to none outside south Asia.
 
2014-05-13 01:03:56 PM  
What no mention of "Nachos, Flanders' Style?"

I thought Brits were into cucumbers and cottage cheese.
 
2014-05-13 01:05:24 PM  
FTA:

Advocates for Mexican food must despair that a dish created on-the-fly by a harassed maître 'd is one that defines Mexican cuisine for a global audience


Nachos define mexican cuisine to the globe?  man, the globe is a farking sad and ignorant place.  yeah, that makes me sad.  that's like saying the definitive american food is the campbell's soup based casserole.
 
2014-05-13 01:05:41 PM  
There are a lot of rules!As I am accustomed to following very few nacho rules (sample rule: "try not to get too much cheese on the cat"), I expect I will be in Big Trouble with The Guardian's Nacho Rules Enforcement Division.
 
2014-05-13 01:05:47 PM  

Bungles: Britain has a very small Mexican population, hence bad/little Mexican food.

Our knowledge and quality of curries however, due to our large Indian/Bangladeshi/akistani population, is second to none outside south Asia.


TRUTH. You've got Coronation Chicken. Getting that in the states is about as likely as getting good BBQ in Iceland.
 
2014-05-13 01:06:32 PM  

SpdrJay: Don't make fun of the Bridish.

They just have trouble eating anything that isn't slimy or made from intestines.


I don't want to alarm you, but outside the US,  globally the reputation of American food is considerably worse than British food.... basically 3 pounds of butter and 3 pounds of salt, all served in a bucket.
 
2014-05-13 01:07:15 PM  
Wine would be wasted and water's a vibe-killer. There is a hell of a lot of grease on that plate, so you need something carbonated, a tongue-scrubber: diet Pepsi or Coke (full fat's too sickly) or a lighter, paler beer, a good lager or blonde ale.

Do they have special cola drinks in Britain made with lard, or something?
 
2014-05-13 01:07:37 PM  
First step is to admit that Brits don't know shiat about a nacho cuz this article's example is just nasty:

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-13 01:10:28 PM  

vudukungfu: life is too short to make your own tortilla and then fry up batches of chips

Two things, you lime eating heathen.
No. It's not.
And you're supposed to call them crisps in the wisdom of your farking limey farking attitude of farking up every possible thing about food that you can.

No go out to the dust bin and scoop up some bangers and mash and make me a proper Nacho wiht Toe-Mah_toe sauce, you freaking moran. Show me how you're going to fark up the best snack ever. . .

The boffins of industrial food processing have spent years perfecting the tortilla chip

Christ, you people are stupid. You couldn't get any dumber.
Therefore, avoid any sour cream and chive or chilli/lime-spiked chips and choose a bag from a point on the spectrum between "lightly salted" and Doritos Cool Original.Correction, you COULD get dumber.In fact, I'm just going to stop reading there, because I know I'm just going to have to write the Queen mother a letter and ask her to please have you executed in the tower of London and then kill herself for lording over such culinary retarded people.


I LOLed :D

Seriously, I rarely buy tortilla chips anymore, I get Bueno corn tortillas, slice 'em into 6ths & fry 'em up in lard. I do a 36 count bag at a time so I have lots of chips for nachos, guac, mini-tostadas, whatever. If I'm just going to eat them I'll put Tia Rita's Red or Green Chile Salt on 'em & chow down.
 
2014-05-13 01:10:30 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Dr Dreidel: I use my mouth, but if'n you wanna try the South Park method, let me know how that goes.

// cannot imagine stuffing jalapenos up my bum
// bad enough when they come out that way after digestion, but before?

Could you perhaps imagine stuffing a non-spicy pepper up your bum?


If it was shaped like a jalapeno? Or really, unless it was a gigantic bell pepper or something...

AHEM. I mean "No".

// not into butt play anyway
// not really into spicy food either, but I'll suffer (especially when smoking)
 
2014-05-13 01:10:50 PM  

Witness99: Can't CNN find any mellow, non offensive Brits?


They're all working for the BBC. We get what's left.
 
2014-05-13 01:10:58 PM  
We Brits don't do well with messy finger food.
 
2014-05-13 01:12:04 PM  
GODDAMNIT, it's CHILI, not chilli, you frikkin' wankers.
 
2014-05-13 01:12:37 PM  

Bungles: outside the US,  globally the reputation of American food is considerably worse than British food.... basically 3 pounds of butter and 3 pounds of salt, all served in a bucket.

www.quintonreport.com

[breathes heavily]

 
2014-05-13 01:15:10 PM  
A whole column to say "With a fork and knife"?
 
2014-05-13 01:15:11 PM  

Paul Baumer: really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.


You do realize you're referring to the country where people pronounce the name "Manuel" as if it were spelled "Man-yoo-el", and that is AFTER THEY HAVE HEARD IT SAID PROPERLY.
 
2014-05-13 01:16:44 PM  

semiotix: No, Brits, you can't have American cheese-and-tortilla-chips appetizers.

Nachos.


Took me a while. Thanks for that.
 
2014-05-13 01:21:48 PM  
A dish invented at the last moment by the owner of a border town restaurant to give a bunch of drunk army wives something to ballast their margaritas now rates a food etiquette guide?

Tortilla chips, shredded cheese.  Like pizza, toppings are varied, but anything common in Mexican food (Jalapeños, black olives, etc) will do.  Eat with friends if possible.  Wash down with margaritas or beer.  It's not farking rocket science.

/useless trivia, "Doritios" as a brand were invented at Disneyland as a way to recycle stale tortillas.
 
2014-05-13 01:26:30 PM  
SmackLT and brantgoose are this thread's co-champions!
 
2014-05-13 01:30:56 PM  

SmackLT: Also, if you do this with your chips, you will assuredly get into a fight:

[img.fark.net image 328x173]
DON'T DO THIS. EVER! I can't stress this enough.


Agreed! Broken jpegs are annoying!
 
2014-05-13 01:41:06 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Um....it seems pretty straight forward. As long as you don't go at it like it's a pie-eating contest, you're probably good to go.


Reminds me of my wedding night.
 
2014-05-13 01:43:24 PM  

Silly_Sot: Paul Baumer: really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.

You do realize you're referring to the country where people pronounce the name "Manuel" as if it were spelled "Man-yoo-el", and that is AFTER THEY HAVE HEARD IT SAID PROPERLY.


Aluminium! WHY CANT THEY SAY IT RIGHT!?

This is also the same country that competes in" ignoring the trends of the world" by driving on the wrong side of the road. I mean that's giving the US a run for its money.
 
2014-05-13 01:44:37 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com

Nachos are traditionally eaten by being served as an edible Nacho Hat

Examples:

i147.photobucket.com

www.popfi.com
 
2014-05-13 01:44:53 PM  

DrunkWithImpotence: A dish invented at the last moment by the owner of a border town restaurant to give a bunch of drunk army wives something to ballast their margaritas now rates a food etiquette guide?

Tortilla chips, shredded cheese.  Like pizza, toppings are varied, but anything common in Mexican food (Jalapeños, black olives, etc) will do.  Eat with friends if possible.  Wash down with margaritas or beer.  It's not farking rocket science.

/useless trivia, "Doritios" as a brand were invented at Disneyland as a way to recycle stale tortillas.


why does this keep getting posted? It really is blindingly stupid PR bullshiat
 
2014-05-13 01:46:41 PM  
Protip: If the nachos stick together, that's considered one nacho.

content.internetvideoarchive.com
 
2014-05-13 01:47:34 PM  
Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.
 
2014-05-13 01:48:52 PM  

DocPeabody: Silly_Sot: Paul Baumer: really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.

You do realize you're referring to the country where people pronounce the name "Manuel" as if it were spelled "Man-yoo-el", and that is AFTER THEY HAVE HEARD IT SAID PROPERLY.

Aluminium! WHY CANT THEY SAY IT RIGHT!?

This is also the same country that competes in" ignoring the trends of the world" by driving on the wrong side of the road. I mean that's giving the US a run for its money.



And have fewer traffic accidents as a result, because most people are right-eye dominant...
 
2014-05-13 01:50:38 PM  

Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.


British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.
 
2014-05-13 01:51:01 PM  
Subby, I think you meant to ask

"With what method does one consume the comestible referred to as "Nachos"?
 
2014-05-13 01:51:10 PM  
They have Nachos there? I bet they're awful.
 
2014-05-13 01:52:51 PM  

abhorrent1: They have Nachos there? I bet they're awful.


Outside of Mexican restaurants and cinemas? Not really. They're not a "thing" here, because we have only three or four Mexicans.
 
2014-05-13 01:53:47 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: Subby, I think you meant to ask

"With what method does one consume the comestible referred to as "Nachos"?


In England, they're called "cheesy maize toasties"
 
2014-05-13 01:57:09 PM  

SmackLT: Well, it's a bit complex and you don't want to look stupid around Americans or we'll never let you hear the end of it. The chip tongs should be pretty self explanatory, but remember, the right way to deal with long strands of cheese is to pull it, then fold it atop the chip. Italians roll it like it was pasta and we're forever making fun of them at the finer restaurants.

If the cheese is melted, tradition dictates that you eat it right-handed, whereas a cheese sauce would mean you should eat it left-handed, although that dates back to the late 1800s when Irish immigrants used their right hands for cheese spoons, which have since been replaced with the Hanzer ladle--don't ask for one of those, the waiter will use it to give you extra cheese upon request.

If your group orders nachos with jalapenos, make sure to use the two-tined jalapeno fork if you'll be taking any from a communal dish. That much is essential, and many use the fork even in the nicer nacho restaurants when you get your own nacho plate. Americans from the south (primarily Georgia and South Carolina) often use the forks to remove any jalapeno seeds that the chef might have missed, although that's quite rare.

Also, most nacho dishes in the west have a dollop of sour cream on the top or the side when it comes to the table. If it's a communal plate, nobody will touch it until the guest of honor takes some of it. Please take some, as it's considered impolite at least, and even bad luck in places like Seattle and Portland. If you suffer from a dairy allergy, please let your host know before ordering. It's easier to skip the sour cream than face the complicated morass of dividing up the dollop once it comes to the table.


i2.photobucket.com

Seriously, friggin bravo to you good sir.
 
2014-05-13 01:58:26 PM  

Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.


See, you say BBQ, but you mean grilling.
 
2014-05-13 01:59:02 PM  
This article brings up a fundamental point:  Why do the Brits spell chili with two l's?
 
2014-05-13 02:00:19 PM  

Tonyboy: This article brings up a fundamental point:  Why do the Brits spell chili with two l's?


Because Brits sprinkle all their words with extra vowels?
 
2014-05-13 02:00:48 PM  

Bungles: DocPeabody: Silly_Sot: Paul Baumer: really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.

You do realize you're referring to the country where people pronounce the name "Manuel" as if it were spelled "Man-yoo-el", and that is AFTER THEY HAVE HEARD IT SAID PROPERLY.

Aluminium! WHY CANT THEY SAY IT RIGHT!?

This is also the same country that competes in" ignoring the trends of the world" by driving on the wrong side of the road. I mean that's giving the US a run for its money.


And have fewer traffic accidents as a result, because most people are right-eye dominant...


The five countries with the lowest number of traffic fatalities per billion kilometers traveled: Sweden (right), Norway (right), UK (left), Iceland (right), Denmark (right).
 
2014-05-13 02:04:24 PM  

meanmutton: Bungles: DocPeabody: Silly_Sot: Paul Baumer: really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.

You do realize you're referring to the country where people pronounce the name "Manuel" as if it were spelled "Man-yoo-el", and that is AFTER THEY HAVE HEARD IT SAID PROPERLY.

Aluminium! WHY CANT THEY SAY IT RIGHT!?

This is also the same country that competes in" ignoring the trends of the world" by driving on the wrong side of the road. I mean that's giving the US a run for its money.


And have fewer traffic accidents as a result, because most people are right-eye dominant...

The five countries with the lowest number of traffic fatalities per billion kilometers traveled: Sweden (right), Norway (right), UK (left), Iceland (right), Denmark (right).


...once you correct for other factors, obviously. Says SCIENCE.
 
2014-05-13 02:06:06 PM  

Publikwerks: Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.

See, you say BBQ, but you mean grilling.


What is this magical form of BBQing that goes beyond using a BBQ, fire, BBQ marinades, and burning things?
 
2014-05-13 02:16:35 PM  

Bungles: Publikwerks: Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.

See, you say BBQ, but you mean grilling.

What is this magical form of BBQing that goes beyond using a BBQ, fire, BBQ marinades, and burning things?


If you are cooking slowly over indirect heat using the smoke to flavor and cook the meat, my bad.

If you are cooking over direct heat, you are grilling. Nothing wrong with that, but with all the shiat we take over the shiat overprocessed food we have, the things that is a culinary art here I get a little protective of.
 
2014-05-13 02:17:11 PM  

Bungles: Publikwerks: Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.

See, you say BBQ, but you mean grilling.

What is this magical form of BBQing that goes beyond using a BBQ, fire, BBQ marinades, and burning things?


And thus the BBQ Religion, with its sects of vinegar based sauce and tomato based sauce didst rise up, and explain that grilling be cooking over a fire, on a grate, rapidly, whereas BBQ be cooking slow, over smoke and flame, for many hours....and thus did the war begin over who doth it correctly, and woe came upon the thread...but the pedants danced.
 
2014-05-13 02:26:06 PM  
Hey British guy, you're doin it wrong.
 
2014-05-13 02:27:36 PM  

mainsail: And thus the BBQ Religion, with its sects of vinegar based sauce and tomato based sauce didst rise up, and explain that grilling be cooking over a fire, on a grate, rapidly, whereas BBQ be cooking slow, over smoke and flame, for many hours....and thus did the war begin over who doth it correctly, and woe came upon the thread...but the pedants danced.


1. Thou shall not confuse Grilling and BBQ
2. Thou shall drink beer while Grilling or BBQing
3. Thou shall never grill a steak past medium rare
4. Thou shall cook 60% on one side, 40% on the other
5.Thou shalt tread kindly on the methods of thy fellow seekers. There is no one right way to 'cue.
6.Thou shalt NOT use Lighter Fluid for thy time at the Q is Holy as  such use shall sour thy taste in the eyes of the Creator and thy quests!
7.Thou shall not parboil
8. Thou shall enjoy thine Q, or thou is doing it wrong
9.  Did thine mention beer?
10. Thou shall pass said lessons to children
 
2014-05-13 02:27:45 PM  

Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.


Damn you, Poe's Law!

For actual Brits, a word to the wise:

In the United States, the word barbeque contains nuances and connotations and regional differences much akin to the word "Yankee". (To the world, a Yankee is an American. To an American, a Yankee is someone (variously) from north of the Mason-Dixon line or from a Union state during the Civil War. To such a person, a Yankee is someone from a Northeastern state. To someone from a Northeastern state, it's someone from New York or southern Connecticut.)

To the world, BBQ is both a noun and a verb indicating cooking on some sort of outdoor grill or the like.
To most Americans, BBQ is a form of indirect cooking with fire, usually not on a grill.
If you live in the Carolinas, Missouri, Arkansas, Kansas, or Texas, the nuances of your style and what you consider to be BBQ and what you consider to be heresy have all the detail and accountancy of a blood feud.
 
2014-05-13 02:28:58 PM  

mainsail: And thus the BBQ Religion, with its sects of vinegar based sauce and tomato based sauce didst rise up, and explain that grilling be cooking over a fire, on a grate, rapidly, whereas BBQ be cooking slow, over smoke and flame, for many hours....and thus did the war begin over who doth it correctly, and woe came upon the thread...but the pedants danced.


Shall we mention the Mustard Heresy of 1872?
 
2014-05-13 02:30:24 PM  

This text is now purple: Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.

Damn you, Poe's Law!

For actual Brits, a word to the wise:

In the United States, the word barbeque contains nuances and connotations and regional differences much akin to the word "Yankee". (To the world, a Yankee is an American. To an American, a Yankee is someone (variously) from north of the Mason-Dixon line or from a Union state during the Civil War. To such a person, a Yankee is someone from a Northeastern state. To someone from a Northeastern state, it's someone from New York or southern Connecticut.)

To the world, BBQ is both a noun and a verb indicating cooking on some sort of outdoor grill or the like.
To most Americans, BBQ is a form of indirect cooking with fire, usually not on a grill.
If you live in the Carolinas, Missouri, Arkansas, Kansas, or Texas, the nuances of your style and what you consider to be BBQ and what you consider to be heresy have all the detail and accountancy of a blood feud.


In its most specific form, a Yankee is from 40°49′45″N 73°55′35″W
 
2014-05-13 02:34:54 PM  

This text is now purple: Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.

Damn you, Poe's Law!

For actual Brits, a word to the wise:

In the United States, the word barbeque contains nuances and connotations and regional differences much akin to the word "Yankee". (To the world, a Yankee is an American. To an American, a Yankee is someone (variously) from north of the Mason-Dixon line or from a Union state during the Civil War. To such a person, a Yankee is someone from a Northeastern state. To someone from a Northeastern state, it's someone from New York or southern Connecticut.)

To the world, BBQ is both a noun and a verb indicating cooking on some sort of outdoor grill or the like.
To most Americans, BBQ is a form of indirect cooking with fire, usually not on a grill.
If you live in the Carolinas, Missouri, Arkansas, Kansas, or Texas, the nuances of your style and what you consider to be BBQ and what you consider to be heresy have all the detail and accountancy of a blood feud.


Crikey, I'm glad we don't do it then. We already have an army of things we judge each other based on ludicrously imperceptible nuances.
 
2014-05-13 02:47:15 PM  

pute kisses like a man: FTA:

Advocates for Mexican food must despair that a dish created on-the-fly by a harassed maître 'd is one that defines Mexican cuisine for a global audience


Nachos define mexican cuisine to the globe?  man, the globe is a farking sad and ignorant place.  yeah, that makes me sad.  that's like saying the definitive american food is the campbell's soup based casserole.


When, in reality, the definitive American food is McDonalds.

\equally sad
 
2014-05-13 02:48:24 PM  

Bungles: Crikey, I'm glad we don't do it then. We already have an army of things we judge each other based on ludicrously imperceptible nuances.


Yeah, but good BBQ is why American's are fat....

//well, that and laziness
 
2014-05-13 02:53:12 PM  
The important thing to remember about American BBQ, particularly Texas BBQ, is if you are eating off of anything other than butcher paper, you're not eating true BBQ.
 
2014-05-13 02:57:51 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: The important thing to remember about American BBQ, particularly Texas BBQ, is if you are eating off of anything other than butcher paper, you're not eating true BBQ.


Just like if you're eating salad with anything but a salad fork - like an overlong dinner fork, a three-tined dessert fork, or a belled beef fork, you're not actually eating  a salad.


THIS IS WHAT YOU PEOPLE SOUND LIKE

 
2014-05-13 02:57:53 PM  

TheShavingofOccam123: The important thing to remember about American BBQ, particularly Texas BBQ, is if you are eating off of anything other than butcher paper, you're not eating true BBQ.


I thought the cardinal rule of Texas BBQ is that ribs are beef.
 
2014-05-13 02:58:18 PM  

Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.


Sigh. Are you trolling or serious? The term you are looking for is 'grill', not 'barbecue'.

BBQ as a cooking process at no point involves shuffling hamburgers and hot dogs over a fire for 15 seconds. It doesn't involve direct flame at all in most cases. It is specifically about low, indirect, heat applied over long periods of time. Used to soften otherwise difficult to use cuts, like brisket, and skirt of flank steak.
 
2014-05-13 02:58:33 PM  

Publikwerks: Bungles: Crikey, I'm glad we don't do it then. We already have an army of things we judge each other based on ludicrously imperceptible nuances.

Yeah, but good BBQ is why American's are fat....

//well, that and laziness


I'd wager that fewer Americans can properly explain the difference between grilling and BBQing, than can find The Iraq on a map.

\and such as
 
2014-05-13 03:00:06 PM  

This text is now purple: mainsail: And thus the BBQ Religion, with its sects of vinegar based sauce and tomato based sauce didst rise up, and explain that grilling be cooking over a fire, on a grate, rapidly, whereas BBQ be cooking slow, over smoke and flame, for many hours....and thus did the war begin over who doth it correctly, and woe came upon the thread...but the pedants danced.

Shall we mention the Mustard Heresy of 1872?


Woe! Woe I hath forgotten....
 
2014-05-13 03:01:59 PM  

kroonermanblack: Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.

Sigh. Are you trolling or serious? The term you are looking for is 'grill', not 'barbecue'.

BBQ as a cooking process at no point involves shuffling hamburgers and hot dogs over a fire for 15 seconds. It doesn't involve direct flame at all in most cases. It is specifically about low, indirect, heat applied over long periods of time. Used to soften otherwise difficult to use cuts, like brisket, and skirt of flank steak.


You sound like the type no-one would want to invite to their BBQs.
 
2014-05-13 03:06:18 PM  

Tax Boy: TheShavingofOccam123: Subby, I think you meant to ask

"With what method does one consume the comestible referred to as "Nachos"?

In England, they're called "cheesy maize toasties"



i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-13 03:19:26 PM  

Publikwerks: mainsail: And thus the BBQ Religion, with its sects of vinegar based sauce and tomato based sauce didst rise up, and explain that grilling be cooking over a fire, on a grate, rapidly, whereas BBQ be cooking slow, over smoke and flame, for many hours....and thus did the war begin over who doth it correctly, and woe came upon the thread...but the pedants danced.

1. Thou shall not confuse Grilling and BBQ
2. Thou shall drink beer while Grilling or BBQing
3. Thou shall never grill a steak past medium rare
4. Thou shall cook 60% on one side, 40% on the other
5.Thou shalt tread kindly on the methods of thy fellow seekers. There is no one right way to 'cue.
6.Thou shalt NOT use Lighter Fluid for thy time at the Q is Holy as  such use shall sour thy taste in the eyes of the Creator and thy quests!
7.Thou shall not parboil
8. Thou shall enjoy thine Q, or thou is doing it wrong
9.  Did thine mention beer?
10. Thou shall pass said lessons to children


and the supremacy clause:  thou shall let thy meat rest before cutting thereto!
 
2014-05-13 03:25:05 PM  

Bungles: Britain has a very small Mexican population, hence bad/little Mexican food.

Our knowledge and quality of curries however, due to our large Indian/Bangladeshi/akistani population, is second to none outside south Asia.


Wouldn't it be more succinct to write "second only to South Asia"?
 
2014-05-13 03:27:07 PM  

Bungles: kroonermanblack: Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.

Sigh. Are you trolling or serious? The term you are looking for is 'grill', not 'barbecue'.

BBQ as a cooking process at no point involves shuffling hamburgers and hot dogs over a fire for 15 seconds. It doesn't involve direct flame at all in most cases. It is specifically about low, indirect, heat applied over long periods of time. Used to soften otherwise difficult to use cuts, like brisket, and skirt of flank steak.

You sound like the type no-one would want to invite to their BBQs.


more importantly, he sounds like the type that does not know skirt or flank steak.  take a skirt or flank, salt and pepper, grill on very high heat for a very short period of time, let rest, cut thinly on the diagonal against the grain.  both are awesome cuts of meat (except the bad end of the skirt, but they usually market skirt as the the good part of the skirt, and the bad part gets sold like stew meat) and extremely tender if not overcooked (and, cut the right way.  cut the wrong way and you're doomed).
 
2014-05-13 03:27:58 PM  

dpaul007: Bungles: Britain has a very small Mexican population, hence bad/little Mexican food.

Our knowledge and quality of curries however, due to our large Indian/Bangladeshi/akistani population, is second to none outside south Asia.

TRUTH. You've got Coronation Chicken. Getting that in the states is about as likely as getting good BBQ in Iceland.


LOL:

What, you want me to smoke the herring this time? And this is vinegar and sugar, okay, but what is this thing... a "pep per"?
 
2014-05-13 03:30:06 PM  

Bungles: TheShavingofOccam123: The important thing to remember about American BBQ, particularly Texas BBQ, is if you are eating off of anything other than butcher paper, you're not eating true BBQ.

Just like if you're eating salad with anything but a salad fork - like an overlong dinner fork, a three-tined dessert fork, or a belled beef fork, you're not actually eating  a salad.


THIS IS WHAT YOU PEOPLE SOUND LIKE


You don't understand. It used to be the law in Texas that if you served your food on dinnerware  with utensils, you had to be inspected by the county board of health. Butcher paper didn't count. So the best BBQ was always served by people who couldn't wash dishes for shiat.

Besides, who eats salad? John Pinette didn't and look what that did for him.
 
2014-05-13 03:34:22 PM  

OooShiny: First step is to admit that Brits don't know shiat about a nacho cuz this article's example is just nasty:

[img.fark.net image 460x276]


I get murderous feelings looking at those "nachos." Someone needs to spend an evening in the freezer for concocting that abomination. I cannot fathom what thought processes brought that about, but I will try to relate:

Hmm, that food is unfamiliar to me and therefore I perceive it as disgusting. I will try to make something abhorrent in its likeness.

It's like how more people will recognize Price C-jizzle with this caricature than with his own photo:
www.sportcartoons.co.uk
 
2014-05-13 03:38:18 PM  
Howard Cosell popularized the term "nacho" during Monday Night Football in the 70s.
 
2014-05-13 03:39:46 PM  

pute kisses like a man: Bungles: kroonermanblack: Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.

Sigh. Are you trolling or serious? The term you are looking for is 'grill', not 'barbecue'.

BBQ as a cooking process at no point involves shuffling hamburgers and hot dogs over a fire for 15 seconds. It doesn't involve direct flame at all in most cases. It is specifically about low, indirect, heat applied over long periods of time. Used to soften otherwise difficult to use cuts, like brisket, and skirt of flank steak.

You sound like the type no-one would want to invite to their BBQs.

more importantly, he sounds like the type that does not know skirt or flank steak.  take a skirt or flank, salt and pepper, grill on very high heat for a very short period of time, let rest, cut thinly on the diagonal against the grain.  both are awesome cuts of meat (except the bad end of the skirt, but they usually market skirt as the the good part of the skirt, and the bad part gets sold like stew meat) and extremely tender if not overcooked (and, cut the right way.  cut the wrong way and you're doomed).


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqFRzeGYzmk
 
2014-05-13 03:41:00 PM  

Bungles: DocPeabody: Silly_Sot: Paul Baumer: really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.

You do realize you're referring to the country where people pronounce the name "Manuel" as if it were spelled "Man-yoo-el", and that is AFTER THEY HAVE HEARD IT SAID PROPERLY.

Aluminium! WHY CANT THEY SAY IT RIGHT!?

This is also the same country that competes in" ignoring the trends of the world" by driving on the wrong side of the road. I mean that's giving the US a run for its money.


And have fewer traffic accidents as a result, because most people are right-eye dominant...


No, it's because they're more courteous as a matter of cultural identity, farktard.
 
2014-05-13 03:48:34 PM  

Bungles: abhorrent1: They have Nachos there? I bet they're awful.

Outside of Mexican restaurants and cinemas? Not really. They're not a "thing" here, because we have only three or four Mexicans.


WTF? You don't have to have a population of Mexicans to enjoy Nachos. Who doesn't enjoy nachos?
 
2014-05-13 03:53:58 PM  

OooShiny: First step is to admit that Brits don't know shiat about a nacho cuz this article's example is just nasty:

[img.fark.net image 460x276]


That's not nachos. That's vomit.
 
2014-05-13 04:03:01 PM  

abhorrent1: Bungles: abhorrent1: They have Nachos there? I bet they're awful.

Outside of Mexican restaurants and cinemas? Not really. They're not a "thing" here, because we have only three or four Mexicans.

WTF? You don't have to have a population of Mexicans to enjoy Nachos. Who doesn't enjoy nachos?


Brits don't apparently unless they are boiled till they're soggy.

/the nachos not the Brits
 
2014-05-13 04:06:14 PM  

Wangiss: Bungles: DocPeabody: Silly_Sot: Paul Baumer: really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.

You do realize you're referring to the country where people pronounce the name "Manuel" as if it were spelled "Man-yoo-el", and that is AFTER THEY HAVE HEARD IT SAID PROPERLY.

Aluminium! WHY CANT THEY SAY IT RIGHT!?

This is also the same country that competes in" ignoring the trends of the world" by driving on the wrong side of the road. I mean that's giving the US a run for its money.


And have fewer traffic accidents as a result, because most people are right-eye dominant...

No, it's because they're more courteous as a matter of cultural identity, farktard.


I didn't make this up. There have actually been studies into this.
 
2014-05-13 04:09:20 PM  

Wangiss: Bungles: Britain has a very small Mexican population, hence bad/little Mexican food.

Our knowledge and quality of curries however, due to our large Indian/Bangladeshi/Pakistani population, is second to none outside south Asia.

Wouldn't it be more succinct to write "second only to South Asia"?


I think the way I put it makes it clearer that it's an obvious given that south Asia has better curry culture, rather than me suggesting a reader wouldn't realise that and it was a clever thing I was saying.
 
2014-05-13 04:11:45 PM  

abhorrent1: Bungles: abhorrent1: They have Nachos there? I bet they're awful.

Outside of Mexican restaurants and cinemas? Not really. They're not a "thing" here, because we have only three or four Mexicans.

WTF? You don't have to have a population of Mexicans to enjoy Nachos. Who doesn't enjoy nachos?


Foods don't become part of a culture by magic, they do so through immigrants eating them and it catching on outside that group.
 
2014-05-13 04:17:35 PM  
I had a wife to show me these strange things.

What I found weird is you go to Taco Bell in the US and you eat a burrito without a knife and fork. Totally weird.
 
2014-05-13 04:23:04 PM  
The Guardian is an idiotic leftwing newspaper that thinks analysing how to eat food will save the planet.
 
2014-05-13 04:26:25 PM  

limeyfellow: I had a wife to show me these strange things.

What I found weird is you go to Taco Bell in the US and you eat a burrito without a knife and fork. Totally weird.


Burritos were peasant and/or street food. When you don't have any dishes and potable water to keep them clean, you make a one-handed meal. Like the Cornish pasty but with less profanity.
 
2014-05-13 04:32:12 PM  

Bungles: Wangiss: Bungles: DocPeabody: Silly_Sot: Paul Baumer: really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.

You do realize you're referring to the country where people pronounce the name "Manuel" as if it were spelled "Man-yoo-el", and that is AFTER THEY HAVE HEARD IT SAID PROPERLY.

Aluminium! WHY CANT THEY SAY IT RIGHT!?

This is also the same country that competes in" ignoring the trends of the world" by driving on the wrong side of the road. I mean that's giving the US a run for its money.


And have fewer traffic accidents as a result, because most people are right-eye dominant...

No, it's because they're more courteous as a matter of cultural identity, farktard.

I didn't make this up. There have actually been studies into this.


I was being brash for silliness' sake, so thank you for not overreacting. But the results from the remainder of the world don't really hold up with your theory.
 
2014-05-13 05:01:36 PM  

SmackLT: but remember, the right way to deal with long strands of cheese is to pull it, then fold it atop the chip.


Dude. Did your parents not teach you manners? That's what the cheese scissors are for.

use the forks to remove any jalapeno seeds that the chef might have missed, although that's quite rare.

Remove... remove jalapeno seeds? That the chef might have MISSED? ...you're from Maine, aren't you. Admit it. You're practically a Canadian.
 
2014-05-13 05:27:03 PM  

Publikwerks: Tonyboy: This article brings up a fundamental point:  Why do the Brits spell chili with two l's?


It's a perfectly cromulent spelling.

Why don't USans spell it as "chile"? Since they're often referring to chile con carne?

According to this, "chilli" was the original Romanisation of the Nahuatl term.

Because Brits sprinkle all their words with extra vowels?

shiat, better update my dictionary. It's got "l" down as a consonant.
 
2014-05-13 05:53:23 PM  

Bungles: abhorrent1: Bungles: abhorrent1: They have Nachos there? I bet they're awful.

Outside of Mexican restaurants and cinemas? Not really. They're not a "thing" here, because we have only three or four Mexicans.

WTF? You don't have to have a population of Mexicans to enjoy Nachos. Who doesn't enjoy nachos?

Foods don't become part of a culture by magic, they do so through immigrants eating them and it catching on outside that group.


Culture be damned. It's freak'n Nachos. Kind of like my old boss from Ohio that had never heard of an Italian Beef before. I was all "LOL WUT?
 
2014-05-13 06:32:35 PM  
Oooh, do you think we can get a good culinary religious war going on Fark?

/I grew up in Iowa; BBQ was synonymous with grilling.  Still is, except when it isn't.
 
2014-05-13 07:03:53 PM  

abhorrent1: Bungles: abhorrent1: Bungles: abhorrent1: They have Nachos there? I bet they're awful.

Outside of Mexican restaurants and cinemas? Not really. They're not a "thing" here, because we have only three or four Mexicans.

WTF? You don't have to have a population of Mexicans to enjoy Nachos. Who doesn't enjoy nachos?

Foods don't become part of a culture by magic, they do so through immigrants eating them and it catching on outside that group.

Culture be damned. It's freak'n Nachos. Kind of like my old boss from Ohio that had never heard of an Italian Beef before. I was all "LOL WUT?


Nachos are only a thing you know about because they're from your next door neighbour... they're not a thing everywhere.... just like the millions of things you've never heard of that a common everyday snacks elsewhere.
 
2014-05-13 07:05:32 PM  

emberposse: The Guardian is an idiotic leftwing newspaper that thinks analysing how to eat food will save the planet.


It's a lighthearted article in a weekend magazine supplement, you gaping tit-stick.
 
2014-05-13 07:21:22 PM  
Why to eat corn chips covered in a fat and a slurry of dressings devised by and for impoverished Mexicans would be a much better question.
 
2014-05-13 07:22:40 PM  
...or, "Sauced Clippings" as nachos are called in Britain...
 
2014-05-13 08:34:52 PM  

timujin: As someone who grew up in Texas and now lives in California, I'll take advice on how to make nachos from an Englishman sometime shortly after the heat death of the universe.


The English are wonderful at many things, but when it comes to anything Hispanic, they fail spectacularly.  No lettuce?  Seriously?  If you chose to do without lettuce, so be it ---- let that folly be upon your own head, but if you try to tell other people that they SHOULDN'T put lettuce on nachos, you deserve to be locked in a cell and fed nothing but spotted dick and beans on toast for the rest of your life.
 
2014-05-13 08:47:52 PM  

Paul Baumer: really, an article on how to pronounce the word "nachos" would be of more value to the brits.


It wouldn't help.  But there is an upside: when listening to the BBC (or any other news station where the announce has some variety of British accent), hearing how they pronounce names of people and places in Latin America is pure comedy gold.

As an experiment, I used to get Chileans to listen to the Sting song "Valparaíso" and ask them to guess what city the song was about.  Nobody figured out it was supposed to be about a city in Chile (even though their English was good enough that they could make out many of the other words).  Maybe it was just me, but the fact that he sings the word "Valparaíso" over and over but nobody actually from there can make out what the hell he's trying to say struck me as amusing.
 
2014-05-13 08:51:31 PM  

Publikwerks: mainsail: And thus the BBQ Religion, with its sects of vinegar based sauce and tomato based sauce didst rise up, and explain that grilling be cooking over a fire, on a grate, rapidly, whereas BBQ be cooking slow, over smoke and flame, for many hours....and thus did the war begin over who doth it correctly, and woe came upon the thread...but the pedants danced.

1. Thou shall not confuse Grilling and BBQ
2. Thou shall drink beer while Grilling or BBQing
3. Thou shall never grill a steak past medium rare
4. Thou shall cook 60% on one side, 40% on the other
5.Thou shalt tread kindly on the methods of thy fellow seekers. There is no one right way to 'cue.
6.Thou shalt NOT use Lighter Fluid for thy time at the Q is Holy as  such use shall sour thy taste in the eyes of the Creator and thy quests!
7.Thou shall not parboil
8. Thou shall enjoy thine Q, or thou is doing it wrong
9.  Did thine mention beer?
10. Thou shall pass said lessons to children


5 is a bit out of place here, and really takes away from the fundamentalism required to live by some 10 comandments of bbq

/American and never realized my people cared so much about differentiating between grilling and bbq
//cooks meat on the grill on the side without the flame but calls it grilling because I'm not sitting there all day
///plenty of people here call grilling bbqing "Hey want to come over we're having a bbq" never heard someone ask if I want to come over for a grilling even though they're grilling
 
2014-05-13 08:57:55 PM  

FarkinNortherner: Why to eat corn chips covered in a fat and a slurry of dressings devised by and for impoverished Mexicans would be a much better question.


Nachos, as invented by a Mexican (for the benefit of American army wives), consisted of melted cheese and a pickled jalapeño on a tortilla chip.  All of the other stuff that comes on them now were added by Americans in subsequent years.

Then again, the obvious answer here on Fark, barring actual knowledge, is some possibly racist and definitely ignorant tripe.
 
2014-05-13 09:05:49 PM  

pute kisses like a man: FTA:

Advocates for Mexican food must despair that a dish created on-the-fly by a harassed maître 'd is one that defines Mexican cuisine for a global audience


Nachos define mexican cuisine to the globe?  man, the globe is a farking sad and ignorant place.  yeah, that makes me sad.  that's like saying the definitive american food is the campbell's soup based casserole.


Sadly it is rather like that.  Outside the USA what people think of as "American food" is mostly fast-food hamburgers, hot dogs, and pizza.
 
2014-05-13 09:10:57 PM  

abhorrent1: They have Nachos there? I bet they're awful.


They probably are, but I would bet not so bad as ones I've had in Korea.  I once ate, or attempted to eat, a plate of Nachos in Seoul that would make you cry.

Though my all-time favorite example of Koreans not grokking Western food was the time I bought "cornbread" in Pusan.  It was a loaf of sliced bread, with little kernels of corn spangled throughout.  I actually cried that day.

/Yes, I suppose we screw up their food just as badly.
 
2014-05-13 09:19:29 PM  

FourDirections: OooShiny: First step is to admit that Brits don't know shiat about a nacho cuz this article's example is just nasty:

[img.fark.net image 460x276]

That's not nachos. That's vomit.


And you can't dust for nachos?
 
2014-05-13 09:29:35 PM  

happyleper: FarkinNortherner: Why to eat corn chips covered in a fat and a slurry of dressings devised by and for impoverished Mexicans would be a much better question.

Nachos, as invented by a Mexican (for the benefit of American army wives), consisted of melted cheese and a pickled jalapeño on a tortilla chip.  All of the other stuff that comes on them now were added by Americans in subsequent years.

Then again, the obvious answer here on Fark, barring actual knowledge, is some possibly racist and definitely ignorant tripe.


Thanks, I'm well aware of the purported origins of nachos. As I'm sure you know, the later additions are largely drawn from rural Mexican food.

Given that the food originates amongst the relatively poor and that Mexicans aren't a race, I'm unmoved by your assertions.

Nachos, meanwhile, remain vile.
 
2014-05-13 09:31:40 PM  

ciberido: abhorrent1: They have Nachos there? I bet they're awful.

They probably are, but I would bet not so bad as ones I've had in Korea.  I once ate, or attempted to eat, a plate of Nachos in Seoul that would make you cry.

Though my all-time favorite example of Koreans not grokking Western food was the time I bought "cornbread" in Pusan.  It was a loaf of sliced bread, with little kernels of corn spangled throughout.  I actually cried that day.

/Yes, I suppose we screw up their food just as badly.


I had cheesecake in Tokyo that was cake with "yellow cheese" baked in. :(
 
2014-05-13 09:36:34 PM  

Publikwerks: Tonyboy: This article brings up a fundamental point:  Why do the Brits spell chili with two l's?

Because Brits sprinkle all their words with extra vowels?


And because they buy complete alphabet packs, they then end up with a lot of leftover consonants.
 
2014-05-13 09:40:28 PM  

kroonermanblack: Bungles: Dear Jerk: Brits turn their nose up at BBQ, too. Like conservative talking heads, their opinions should be taken only for entertainment, not instruction.

British people adore BBQ, it just that they prefer proper, outside BBQs, and the chances to reliably organise them is infrequent (due to weather).

On the first day of proper summer, the entire UK stinks of BBQ, because every single person with a BBQ is using it.

Sigh. Are you trolling or serious? The term you are looking for is 'grill', not 'barbecue'.

BBQ as a cooking process at no point involves shuffling hamburgers and hot dogs over a fire for 15 seconds. It doesn't involve direct flame at all in most cases. It is specifically about low, indirect, heat applied over long periods of time. Used to soften otherwise difficult to use cuts, like brisket, and skirt of flank steak.


Sheesh, even the Wikipedia article on barbecue says as much in the first two paragraphs.
 
2014-05-13 09:45:58 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: kroonermanblack: Wasilla Hillbilly: Um....it seems pretty straight forward. As long as you don't go at it like it's a pie-eating contest, you're probably good to go.

Many cultures eat 'American' dishes differently. Like using a knife and fork for burgers, or pizza.

Americans often eat other cultural dishes oddly as well so it's a wash.

In a culture with no texmex being presented with a steaming bowl of cheese-chip soup is confusing to consume. You don't use a spoon, wtf do you do?!

/from texas
//the above was rhetorical

Oh, come on. Do they not watch American TV/movies?


There was an old Fark article about how the explosion in popularity of Mexican food in Sweden didn't come from Mexican immigrants, but from Swedes watching people eating tacos in American films and TV shows, and thinking, "Hey, that looks good."

Here it is.
 
2014-05-13 09:53:54 PM  

iron de havilland: Publikwerks: Tonyboy: This article brings up a fundamental point:  Why do the Brits spell chili with two l's?

It's a perfectly cromulent spelling.

Why don't USans spell it as "chile"? Since they're often referring to chile con carne?



Do you mean "chili con carne"?

"Chile" is a nation in South America.  It is not a food.  They do not eat chili in Chile, nor do they even know what the hell chili is.

I don't really care how many "Ls" you use, but only the ignorant spell "chili" (of chili con carne) with an "E."
 
2014-05-13 10:05:39 PM  

abhorrent1: Culture be damned. It's freak'n Nachos. Kind of like my old boss from Ohio that had never heard of an Italian Beef before. I was all "LOL WUT?


upload.wikimedia.org


Mmmm. Italian beef.

That's bresaola.

ciberido: The English are wonderful at many things, but when it comes to anything Hispanic, they fail spectacularly.


Tapas is pretty popular here. And, shiat, there are a couple of Brazilian food places near me. In a city of 250000.

Also many American food joints: McDonalds, Papa John's, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Dominos and KFC.

/Must visit the Nepalese restaurant that's just up the road from me.
 
2014-05-13 10:08:03 PM  

ciberido: iron de havilland: Publikwerks: Tonyboy: This article brings up a fundamental point:  Why do the Brits spell chili with two l's?

It's a perfectly cromulent spelling.

Why don't USans spell it as "chile"? Since they're often referring to chile con carne?


Do you mean "chili con carne"?

"Chile" is a nation in South America.  It is not a food.  They do not eat chili in Chile, nor do they even know what the hell chili is.

I don't really care how many "Ls" you use, but only the ignorant spell "chili" (of chili con carne) with an "E."


No, "chile" is the Spanish for chilli or chili.

It just seems weird that you wouldn't use the Spanish spelling for a dish "con carne".
 
2014-05-13 10:08:41 PM  

Bungles: abhorrent1: Bungles: WTF? You don't have to have a population of Mexicans to enjoy Nachos. Who doesn't enjoy nachos?

Foods don't become part of a culture by magic, they do so through immigrants eating them and it catching on outside that group.

Culture be damned. It's freak'n Nachos. Kind of like my old boss from Ohio that had never heard of an Italian Beef before. I was all "LOL WUT?

Nachos are only a thing you know about because they're from your next door neighbour... they're not a thing everywhere.... just like the millions of things you've never heard of that a common everyday snacks elsewhere.


First, I've never heard of "an Italian Beef" before, so feel free to LOL WUT me as well.  I still have no idea what it is, except a vague intuition that beef may be somehow involved.

Second, there are all kinds of wonderful dishes out there that most people have never heard of.  Just speaking of street food and snacks, I love samosas and ho-tteok, for example, but I bet 90% of people living in North America have ever heard of either. Or lasis or Bombay/Punjabi mix or .... the list goes on.
 
2014-05-13 10:31:26 PM  

iron de havilland: No, "chile" is the Spanish for chilli or chili.

It just seems weird that you wouldn't use the Spanish spelling for a dish "con carne".


Thank you ever so much, but I actually was already aware of what "chile" means in Spanish.  They both come from the Náhuatl (Aztecan) word "chilli," by the way, so it's not like chile -> chili/chilli was a one-way street.  Náhuatl, by the way, didn't have an alphabet until the Spanish arrived and imposed theirs, which renders any sort of etymological argument moot.

The Spanish spelling of "chili con carne" is --- brace yourself ---- "chili con carne," and has been since at least 1893, so I'm afraid it's too late to go back and ask anybody involved why they chose to spell "chili" without an "E."  If it means anything to you, I agree that "chile con carne" seems like it WOULD BE a sensible way to spell it, given the term's likely etymology.  Though, on the other hand, "chili" is much closer to how the word is generally pronounced in North America.

That is also why, incidentally, I might argue that "chili" is a better spelling than "chilli" (in Spanish "l" and "ll" are totally different) but I am already familiar with the Commonwealth tendency to insert extraneous letters into words, so I imagine it would be like beating a dead horse.

Lastly, I don't mean to be a complete jackass about this, but given that I lived in Chile and have been asked, "So do they eat chili in Chile?" by wags just about 12,000 times now, it's become a bit of a sore spot for me.
 
2014-05-13 10:59:22 PM  
My theory is they chopped down all the trees to sacrifice their virgins to heathen idol and figured out too late that the weather wouldn't change. Then they learned how to write a language on clay tablets, and that all started a rumor between the various tribes that one or the other was a sloppy eater.

They spent the last 12 centuries figuring out how to forge silver into eating utensils and totally ignored wiping their mouths with paper because papyrus was only good for writing on, and writing was for the gods.

Then, they outlawed toothbrushes because that required horse hair, which was needed to make quills to write on papyrus with. You can't write the King James Bible with your greasy, nacho-stained finger, peasant!
 
2014-05-13 11:19:31 PM  

Tonyboy: This article brings up a fundamental point:  Why do the Brits spell chili with two l's?


Should be chile?
 
2014-05-13 11:53:14 PM  

FarkinNortherner: happyleper: FarkinNortherner: Why to eat corn chips covered in a fat and a slurry of dressings devised by and for impoverished Mexicans would be a much better question.

Nachos, as invented by a Mexican (for the benefit of American army wives), consisted of melted cheese and a pickled jalapeño on a tortilla chip.  All of the other stuff that comes on them now were added by Americans in subsequent years.

Then again, the obvious answer here on Fark, barring actual knowledge, is some possibly racist and definitely ignorant tripe.

Thanks, I'm well aware of the purported origins of nachos. As I'm sure you know, the later additions are largely drawn from rural Mexican food.

Given that the food originates amongst the relatively poor and that Mexicans aren't a race, I'm unmoved by your assertions.


The wealth (or perceived lack thereof) of Mexicans is completely irrelevant to the fact that you don't like nachos.  If you want to insist that there is not a racial overtone to that, you keep on farking that chicken.
 
2014-05-14 12:09:56 AM  

happyleper: FarkinNortherner: happyleper: FarkinNortherner: Why to eat corn chips covered in a fat and a slurry of dressings devised by and for impoverished Mexicans would be a much better question.

Nachos, as invented by a Mexican (for the benefit of American army wives), consisted of melted cheese and a pickled jalapeño on a tortilla chip.  All of the other stuff that comes on them now were added by Americans in subsequent years.

Then again, the obvious answer here on Fark, barring actual knowledge, is some possibly racist and definitely ignorant tripe.

Thanks, I'm well aware of the purported origins of nachos. As I'm sure you know, the later additions are largely drawn from rural Mexican food.

Given that the food originates amongst the relatively poor and that Mexicans aren't a race, I'm unmoved by your assertions.

The wealth (or perceived lack thereof) of Mexicans is completely irrelevant to the fact that you don't like nachos.  If you want to insist that there is not a racial overtone to that, you keep on farking that chicken.


Mexican still isn't a race, however much you'd like to assert otherwise.

Enjoying the food of the poorest members of a society is not unique to this example but in most cases more expensive ingredients are added by the adopting culture. See pierogis for further details.
 
2014-05-14 04:09:12 AM  

ciberido: Náhuatl, by the way, didn't have an alphabet until the Spanish arrived and imposed theirs, which renders any sort of etymological argument moot.


Other than the fact that the first Romanisation of chilli/chili/chile was "chilli".

ciberido: That is also why, incidentally, I might argue that "chili" is a better spelling than "chilli" (in Spanish "l" and "ll" are totally different) but I am already familiar with the Commonwealth tendency to insert extraneous letters into words, so I imagine it would be like beating a dead horse.


More of an American tendency to remove letters from words, n'est-ce pas?

Noah Webster apparently wanted to spell "tongue" as "tung", but couldn't make it stick.

Lastly, I don't mean to be a complete jackass about this, but given that I lived in Chile and have been asked, "So do they eat chili in Chile?" by wags just about 12,000 times now, it's become a bit of a sore spot for me.

Sounds like you could do with a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.
 
2014-05-14 06:43:44 AM  
It's a lighthearted article in a weekend magazine supplement, you gaping tit-stick.

The Guardian is trying to do funny? Forgive me for missing it as 99% of the time they do the pompous self-righteous routine.
 
2014-05-14 08:10:43 AM  

emberposse: It's a lighthearted article in a weekend magazine supplement, you gaping tit-stick.

The Guardian is trying to do funny? Forgive me for missing it as 99% of the time they do the pompous self-righteous routine.


It's a cooking article in a lifestyle weekend supplement.

You're trying to politicise the cooking section. You look absurd.
 
2014-05-14 09:48:14 AM  

Egoy3k: TheShavingofOccam123: The important thing to remember about American BBQ, particularly Texas BBQ, is if you are eating off of anything other than butcher paper, you're not eating true BBQ.

I thought the cardinal rule of Texas BBQ is that ribs are beef.


blasphemy.jpg
 
2014-05-14 10:11:21 AM  
It's a cooking article in a lifestyle weekend supplement.
You're trying to politicise the cooking section. You look absurd.


This whole thread is predicated on the idea that British people are being told how to eat nachos. I'd say the article was absurd tbh.
I suppose I couldn't expect much less from a newspaper that champions top-down government interference in our daily lives. So telling us how to eat nachos fits that bill.
 
2014-05-14 10:38:20 AM  

emberposse: It's a cooking article in a lifestyle weekend supplement.
You're trying to politicise the cooking section. You look absurd.

This whole thread is predicated on the idea that British people are being told how to eat nachos. I'd say the article was absurd tbh.
I suppose I couldn't expect much less from a newspaper that champions top-down government interference in our daily lives. So telling us how to eat nachos fits that bill.


I get the feeling you've never read the Guardian. And probably don't get invited to BBQs.

You might have eaten nachos though, I can't tell that one.
 
2014-05-14 10:50:10 AM  
I get the feeling you've never read the Guardian. And probably don't get invited to BBQs.You might have eaten nachos though, I can't tell that one.


Sadly I've read the Guardian all too often.

As for nachos: I eat them the way I want. Why would anyone want to read an article telling you how to eat something?
 
2014-05-14 10:54:35 AM  

emberposse: I get the feeling you've never read the Guardian. And probably don't get invited to BBQs.You might have eaten nachos though, I can't tell that one.


Sadly I've read the Guardian all too often.

As for nachos: I eat them the way I want. Why would anyone want to read an article telling you how to eat something?


Because nachos are not a common thing in the UK. Yes, they exist, but most people would have only seen them on the menu in a US cinema chain, or think they're essentially a bag of Doritos eaten like crisps..

It's not more odd than an article in the US on how to peel a durian.
 
2014-05-14 10:55:27 AM  

iron de havilland: ciberido: Náhuatl, by the way, didn't have an alphabet until the Spanish arrived and imposed theirs, which renders any sort of etymological argument moot.


Other than the fact that the first Romanisation of chilli/chili/chile was "chilli".


And that's fine for etymology lessons, but arguing against the only way the inventor of chili con carne could have spelled the name of the culinary dish is preposterous at this point. Chilli would be pronounced "chee-yee." So saying it should be spelled in a way that would favor the original Romanization (if you can forgive an American his z) over a useful spelling is putting history over utility, which is (1) unhelpfully British, and (2) irrelevant because it's a different country making the rules here. "We refuse to adopt the world standard on principle" is, to be honest, perfectly fine with me. I'm a diversity globalist, not a conformity globalist. I love imperial measurements and I'm not going to tell the rest of the world how to write.

The only sensible results of this argument are for British accused of misspelling to say, "so what?" while the non-British mock in futility and for the non-British to claim modern linguistic stewardship with a utilitarian defense if Britons glare imperially.
 
2014-05-14 10:57:53 AM  

Bungles: emberposse: I get the feeling you've never read the Guardian. And probably don't get invited to BBQs.You might have eaten nachos though, I can't tell that one.


Sadly I've read the Guardian all too often.

As for nachos: I eat them the way I want. Why would anyone want to read an article telling you how to eat something?

Because nachos are not a common thing in the UK. Yes, they exist, but most people would have only seen them on the menu in a US cinema chain, or think they're essentially a bag of Doritos eaten like crisps..

It's not more odd than an article in the US on how to peel a durian.


Bingo. When I eat Japanese, I use chopsticks. I didn't come into the world knowing how to use them. Likewise, the British are not born knowing how to eat with their hands. It's been bred out of their instincts.
 
2014-05-14 11:10:54 AM  

Wangiss: iron de havilland: ciberido: Náhuatl, by the way, didn't have an alphabet until the Spanish arrived and imposed theirs, which renders any sort of etymological argument moot.


Other than the fact that the first Romanisation of chilli/chili/chile was "chilli".

And that's fine for etymology lessons, but arguing against the only way the inventor of chili con carne could have spelled the name of the culinary dish is preposterous at this point. Chilli would be pronounced "chee-yee." So saying it should be spelled in a way that would favor the original Romanization (if you can forgive an American his z) over a useful spelling is putting history over utility, which is (1) unhelpfully British, and (2) irrelevant because it's a different country making the rules here. "We refuse to adopt the world standard on principle" is, to be honest, perfectly fine with me. I'm a diversity globalist, not a conformity globalist. I love imperial measurements and I'm not going to tell the rest of the world how to write.

The only sensible results of this argument are for British accused of misspelling to say, "so what?" while the non-British mock in futility and for the non-British to claim modern linguistic stewardship with a utilitarian defense if Britons glare imperially.


Troof.
 
2014-05-14 11:21:53 AM  
You'd be surprised how available nachos are in the UK.

They are on the "Hungry Horse" menus in pub restaurant chains. We have branches of "Chiquitos" and "Las Iguanas" around the UK selling nachos.
 
2014-05-14 11:23:45 AM  
But perhaps Guardian journalists haven't stooped to the level of the plebs, in the past, and have just discovered nachos.
 
2014-05-14 11:36:22 AM  

emberposse: But perhaps Guardian journalists haven't stooped to the level of the plebs, in the past, and have just discovered nachos.


Who would want to stoop? Delicious food is less important to most individuals than preserving our tribal identities. As a member of the Health-conscious Californian Eating Habit tribe, I refuse to eat pork rinds however delicious they may turn out to be. Doing so would be arbitrarily beneath me despite my indulgence in Nachos with their saturated fat-laden "pasteurized processed cheese food product" which are well within the realms of my tribal identity.
 
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