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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   OMG: Baby falls 11 stories. WTF: And should be fine. "He's a kid. So they tend to be more flexible and pliable than you and I would be"   (startribune.com) divider line 80
    More: Spiffy, Hennepin County Medical Center, old boys, W.T.F.?  
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3853 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2014 at 11:07 AM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-13 10:11:01 AM  
Would they know his name?

/aisle please
 
2014-05-13 10:20:02 AM  
Oh, I'm looking forward to the comments in this thread based on the dialogue in TFA.

What a relief for the family, though, that their baby may indeed recover from such a tremendous fall.
 
2014-05-13 10:38:08 AM  
I remember a long time ago a baby fell from the peak of a ferris when in the next town over. Merely had a bruise from the fall. Evidently, baby bones are a lot like cartilage.
 
2014-05-13 10:47:04 AM  
p.gr-assets.com
 
2014-05-13 11:09:39 AM  
Kick the baby!!!
 
2014-05-13 11:11:04 AM  
Did she fall in a barrel of shhhhhhhaving cream?
 
2014-05-13 11:11:28 AM  
So, drunk babies are indestructible?
 
2014-05-13 11:11:53 AM  
My baby fell out of the window,
You'd think that her head would be split,
But good luck was with her that morning,
Cause she landed in six feet of
 
2014-05-13 11:11:58 AM  
Their heads are soft. They just bounce.

My friend fell on top of her 10 month old daughter while walking up the stairs and broke her little leg. Watching the baby using the cast as a peg leg while learning to walk was hilarious.
 
2014-05-13 11:14:11 AM  
thankfully, the three year old who left the balcony door open will be stoned.
 
2014-05-13 11:14:38 AM  
Samuel L. Jackson would like to have a word with the child.
 
2014-05-13 11:15:06 AM  
Unavailable for comment:
iaincarstairs.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-13 11:15:10 AM  
Ah, the Cedar Riverside apartments.  AKA "The Ghetto in the Sky" or "The Crack Stacks".

As ugly as those buildings are, I do love that area of the West Bank.  Very, very diverse, and some great bars.
 
2014-05-13 11:15:14 AM  

People Who Annoy You: So, drunk babies are indestructible?


I saw a drunk friend fall from the ninth floor, his spleen popped like a ballon but he lived, probably due to drunkeness.
 
2014-05-13 11:16:15 AM  
Hurr durr family of the year award.

Wouldn't normal parents move into a place and immediately see that rails six inches apart might be bad for a baby? I don't know, maybe I am just used to hanging out with brilliant people (in comparison).
 
2014-05-13 11:17:45 AM  

MBP2112: My baby fell out of the window,
You'd think that her head would be split,
But good luck was with her that morning,
Cause she landed in six feet of


i used to work in a plant nursery when i was 16... and this might surprise you, but i remember, in the dead of summer, some of the bagged mulches, especially dark wood mulches, could smell infinitely worse than the 40 lbs bags of cow shiat.  so, uh, yeah.

/ cedar, on the other hand, that stuff smelled great.  but, the chips would poke out of the bag and stab you.  ah, the rough and tumble world of a shiat carrying plant nursery worker.
 
2014-05-13 11:17:51 AM  
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-05-13 11:18:15 AM  
Thus the phrase  Bouncing Baby Boy.
 
2014-05-13 11:18:51 AM  
What a miracle! ABSOLUTE PROOF the LORD GOD exists and looks over us. Praise Jesus for saving this precious child. Nothing is impossible through HIM. Open your eyes Fark non-believers. He has just revealed Himself to you AGAIN!
 
2014-05-13 11:18:51 AM  
FTA: "This is such a tragedy," he said. "The parents are blaming themselves."

Well ... yeah.

Everyone makes mistakes, and the father may have only turned his back for a minute, but why the hell was a baby on the balcony in the first place? Also, how did it get over the railing?

/ninja baby?
 
2014-05-13 11:19:15 AM  
"He's a kid. So they tend to be more flexible and pliable than you and I would be"

Sure, feel free to try this at home, any time.
 
2014-05-13 11:19:38 AM  
Friend of mine pushed out a screen when she was about a year old. From a 4th story apartment. She hit a storm roof above the first floor balcony and it changed her trajectory from straight down to an angled fall. Was in the hospital for about a week, but 8 years later she is a healthy happy child. It happens, and its insanely amazing how much a kid of that age can take. Which is why I abuse my 7 month old.

/Kidding on the last part.
//Little biatch has me wrapped around her tiny cute little fingers.
 
2014-05-13 11:20:01 AM  
i.imgur.com

Reenactment of the incident
 
2014-05-13 11:20:31 AM  

SearchN: Friend of mine pushed out a screen when she was about a year old. From a 4th story apartment. She hit a storm roof above the first floor balcony and it changed her trajectory from straight down to an angled fall. Was in the hospital for about a week, but 8 years later she is a healthy happy child. It happens, and its insanely amazing how much a kid of that age can take. Which is why I abuse my 7 month old.

/Kidding on the last part.
//Little biatch has me wrapped around her tiny cute little fingers.


Should rephrase that, a friend of mines daughter. Blah heh little one kept me up all night and woke me up early. Need coffee.
 
2014-05-13 11:20:35 AM  

Cashew: People Who Annoy You: So, drunk babies are indestructible?

I saw a drunk friend fall from the ninth floor, his spleen popped like a ballon but he lived, probably due to drunkeness.


Knew a guy who drunkenly climbed up one of those electrical pylons and fell from about 50 ft up. He was really badly injured but lived. Doctor said that being drunk probably saved him from being killed by the fall since he went limp as he fell and just kind of bounced.
 
2014-05-13 11:20:36 AM  

MBP2112: My baby fell out of the window,
You'd think that her head would be split,
But good luck was with her that morning,
Cause she landed in six feet of


SHHHHHHAAAAVING CREAM!!!
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.
 
2014-05-13 11:23:15 AM  

craigzy: thankfully, the three year old who left the balcony door open will be stoned.


I was thinking that three-year-olds make convenient scapegoats.
 
2014-05-13 11:23:37 AM  
blogs.citypages.com

last seen leaving the hospital.
 
2014-05-13 11:23:39 AM  

Nix Nightbird: MBP2112: My baby fell out of the window,
You'd think that her head would be split,
But good luck was with her that morning,
Cause she landed in six feet of

SHHHHHHAAAAVING CREAM!!!
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.


Thank you both for taking care of this.
 
2014-05-13 11:25:06 AM  
www.toptenz.net

Was only dropped once.  Well maybe twice.
 
2014-05-13 11:26:00 AM  

GameSprocket: FTA: "This is such a tragedy," he said. "The parents are blaming themselves."

Well ... yeah.

Everyone makes mistakes, and the father may have only turned his back for a minute, but why the hell was a baby on the balcony in the first place? Also, how did it get over the railing?


From TFA: The grandmother told me that the daughter [age 3] opened the balcony door.

I have a three year old and a baby, and can attest to the fact that kids can be incredibly stupid in a very short amount of time. If it was the first time the three year old had opened a door or figured out the child proofing, then there was no way to know it would be an issue.
 
2014-05-13 11:26:57 AM  
Someone should do a study at what age babies lose their flexibility and pliability.
 
2014-05-13 11:27:31 AM  

OnlyM3: Unavailable for comment:


I am not disappointed in Fark.

Came for the reference
 
2014-05-13 11:28:15 AM  

PreMortem: Evidently, baby bones are a lot like cartilage.


Babies also weigh very little and don't build up a whole lot of momentum.
 
2014-05-13 11:29:31 AM  
Daddy left a 15 month old alone with access to a balcony 11 floors up?
 
2014-05-13 11:30:53 AM  

Mugato: Would they know his name?

/aisle please


*golf clapton*
 
2014-05-13 11:31:48 AM  

H31N0US: Daddy left a 15 month old alone with access to a balcony 11 floors up?


No, the 3-year old sister was there too. She probably pushed her brother over the railing or through the bars.
 
2014-05-13 11:33:06 AM  
Came in here to say, whew! Good thing someone left that barrel of shaving cream here. But I see it's been covered. In shaving cream.
 
2014-05-13 11:33:07 AM  

phrawgh: What a miracle! ABSOLUTE PROOF the LORD GOD exists and looks over us. Praise Jesus for saving this precious child. Nothing is impossible through HIM. Open your eyes Fark non-believers. He has just revealed Himself to you AGAIN!


All you non believers do crack me up. Just randomly make fun of religious folk. You better hope your right.
 
2014-05-13 11:33:38 AM  

mesmer242: have a three year old and a baby, and can attest to the fact that kids can be incredibly stupid in a very short amount of time


Kids are not stupid. They are inventive and curious and trying desperately to figure out how to survive in the world of their exile. What most parents cannot grasp is that their young children are not nearly as interested in sex as the parents are and therefore have to find other ways to occupy their time. Thankfully for the parents this stage only lasts a few short years, until about age six.
 
2014-05-13 11:34:57 AM  

SearchN: Friend of mine pushed out a screen when she was about a year old. From a 4th story apartment. She hit a storm roof above the first floor balcony and it changed her trajectory from straight down to an angled fall. Was in the hospital for about a week, but 8 years later she is a healthy happy child. It happens, and its insanely amazing how much a kid of that age can take. Which is why I abuse my 7 month old.

/Kidding on the last part.
//Little biatch has me wrapped around her tiny cute little fingers.


Wait. You have an eight year old friend?
And your on Fark.
 
2014-05-13 11:34:58 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-13 11:38:40 AM  

mesmer242: GameSprocket: FTA: "This is such a tragedy," he said. "The parents are blaming themselves."

Well ... yeah.

Everyone makes mistakes, and the father may have only turned his back for a minute, but why the hell was a baby on the balcony in the first place? Also, how did it get over the railing?

From TFA: The grandmother told me that the daughter [age 3] opened the balcony door.

I have a three year old and a baby, and can attest to the fact that kids can be incredibly stupid in a very short amount of time. If it was the first time the three year old had opened a door or figured out the child proofing, then there was no way to know it would be an issue.


Possibly. I had to look up what the railing is like.

www.biyokulule.com

I could see a small child going right through that.
 
2014-05-13 11:42:15 AM  

worlddan: What most parents cannot grasp is that their young children are not nearly as interested in sex as the parents are and therefore have to find other ways to occupy their time. Thankfully for the parents this stage only lasts a few short years, until about age six.


Kids start having sex at age six?
 
2014-05-13 11:43:04 AM  

Mugato: Would they know his name?

/aisle please


Done in one. Well done, sir.
 
2014-05-13 11:44:11 AM  

wichitaleaf: phrawgh: What a miracle! ABSOLUTE PROOF the LORD GOD exists and looks over us. Praise Jesus for saving this precious child. Nothing is impossible through HIM. Open your eyes Fark non-believers. He has just revealed Himself to you AGAIN!

All you non believers do crack me up. Just randomly make fun of religious folk. You better hope your right.


*You're
 
2014-05-13 11:48:11 AM  
How is babby flown?
 
2014-05-13 11:48:30 AM  

wichitaleaf: phrawgh: What a miracle! ABSOLUTE PROOF the LORD GOD exists and looks over us. Praise Jesus for saving this precious child. Nothing is impossible through HIM. Open your eyes Fark non-believers. He has just revealed Himself to you AGAIN!

All you non believers do crack me up. Just randomly make fun of religious folk. You better hope your right.


Why?   What's going to happen?
 
2014-05-13 11:48:57 AM  

theorellior: worlddan: What most parents cannot grasp is that their young children are not nearly as interested in sex as the parents are and therefore have to find other ways to occupy their time. Thankfully for the parents this stage only lasts a few short years, until about age six.

Kids start having sex at age six?


That is typically the age when boys become altar boys.
 
2014-05-13 11:52:52 AM  

Lillya: wichitaleaf: phrawgh: What a miracle! ABSOLUTE PROOF the LORD GOD exists and looks over us. Praise Jesus for saving this precious child. Nothing is impossible through HIM. Open your eyes Fark non-believers. He has just revealed Himself to you AGAIN!

All you non believers do crack me up. Just randomly make fun of religious folk. You better hope your right.

Why?   What's going to happen?


Who knows?!?!? But it's well known in Christian circles that if you pretend to believe in God, you can trick HIM and go to Heaven, where you can worship HIM forever!
 
2014-05-13 11:53:05 AM  
tikitakitoki.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-13 11:54:56 AM  

MBP2112: My baby fell out of the window,
You'd think that her head would be split,
But good luck was with her that morning,
Cause she landed in six feet of


and we're done
 
2014-05-13 11:55:24 AM  
wichitaleaf:

Wait. You have an eight year old friend?
And your on Fark.


IKR, with a friend like that he should have a cam and be on Limewire.
 
2014-05-13 11:57:41 AM  

SearchN: Friend of mine pushed out a screen when she was about a year old. From a 4th story apartment. She hit a storm roof above the first floor balcony and it changed her trajectory from straight down to an angled fall. Was in the hospital for about a week, but 8 years later she is a healthy happy child. It happens, and its insanely amazing how much a kid of that age can take. Which is why I abuse my 7 month old.

/Kidding on the last part.
//Little biatch has me wrapped around her tiny cute little fingers.


You have a "friend" that's 8 years old?
 
2014-05-13 12:00:24 PM  
Here is a tip for people with kids and sliding doors (or doors that kids can open): put some bells on the door so you can hear them messing with it even if your back is turned. My mom put Xmas jingle bell door hangers on their patio door and their front door so that when my sleep walking niece stays over, it would give them an extra alert if she tried to unlock the doors and go out.

Of course, my parents are light sleepers so they wake before she even gets past their bedroom door. The teenaged me was very annoyed they didn't sleep more soundly.
 
2014-05-13 12:12:46 PM  

SearchN: Friend of mine pushed out a screen when she was about a year old. From a 4th story apartment. She hit a storm roof above the first floor balcony and it changed her trajectory from straight down to an angled fall. Was in the hospital for about a week, but 8 years later she is a healthy happy child. It happens, and its insanely amazing how much a kid of that age can take. Which is why I abuse my 7 month old.

/Kidding on the last part.
//Little biatch has me wrapped around her tiny cute little fingers.


You have 9 year old friends?
 
2014-05-13 12:17:04 PM  

wichitaleaf: SearchN: Friend of mine pushed out a screen when she was about a year old. From a 4th story apartment. She hit a storm roof above the first floor balcony and it changed her trajectory from straight down to an angled fall. Was in the hospital for about a week, but 8 years later she is a healthy happy child. It happens, and its insanely amazing how much a kid of that age can take. Which is why I abuse my 7 month old.

/Kidding on the last part.
//Little biatch has me wrapped around her tiny cute little fingers.

Wait. You have an eight year old friend?
And your on Fark.


Would you PLEASE learn how to contract "you are"? It's "you're".

You're welcome.
 
2014-05-13 12:23:32 PM  

worlddan: mesmer242: have a three year old and a baby, and can attest to the fact that kids can be incredibly stupid in a very short amount of time

Kids are not stupid. They are inventive and curious and trying desperately to figure out how to survive in the world of their exile. What most parents cannot grasp is that their young children are not nearly as interested in sex as the parents are and therefore have to find other ways to occupy their time. Thankfully for the parents this stage only lasts a few short years, until about age six.


It's so rare to see someone trolling as a creeper. At least I hope you're trolling.

For clarity's sake, I meant stupid in the "ignorant of danger" sense, not stupid as in "unable to learn." Kids learn everything. You just want to make sure one of their lessons doesn't include losing an arm or an eye.
 
2014-05-13 12:34:52 PM  
 
2014-05-13 12:36:08 PM  
The clip above is to the baby Gregory section of Small Change. One of the world's great movies.
 
2014-05-13 12:44:03 PM  

phrawgh: Lillya: wichitaleaf: phrawgh: What a miracle! ABSOLUTE PROOF the LORD GOD exists and looks over us. Praise Jesus for saving this precious child. Nothing is impossible through HIM. Open your eyes Fark non-believers. He has just revealed Himself to you AGAIN!

All you non believers do crack me up. Just randomly make fun of religious folk. You better hope your right.

Why?   What's going to happen?

Who knows?!?!? But it's well known in Christian circles that if you pretend to believe in God, you can trick HIM and go to Heaven, where you can worship HIM forever!


I doubt you've ever been in any "Christian circles".
And I'm sure your relieved of that.
And also.
Your
Your
Your
Your
Now go crazy on my yours batch.
 
2014-05-13 12:44:49 PM  

wichitaleaf: phrawgh: Lillya: wichitaleaf: phrawgh: What a miracle! ABSOLUTE PROOF the LORD GOD exists and looks over us. Praise Jesus for saving this precious child. Nothing is impossible through HIM. Open your eyes Fark non-believers. He has just revealed Himself to you AGAIN!

All you non believers do crack me up. Just randomly make fun of religious folk. You better hope your right.

Why?   What's going to happen?

Who knows?!?!? But it's well known in Christian circles that if you pretend to believe in God, you can trick HIM and go to Heaven, where you can worship HIM forever!

I doubt you've ever been in any "Christian circles".
And I'm sure your relieved of that.
And also.
Your
Your
Your
Your
Now go crazy on my yours batch.


His batch what?
 
2014-05-13 12:45:53 PM  
Are you all English teachers?
Good god.
Your
Your
Your
Who the hell cares.
Peace to all.
 
2014-05-13 12:47:55 PM  

wichitaleaf: Are you all English teachers?
Good god.
Your
Your
Your
Who the hell cares.
Peace to all.


My who the hell cares what?
 
2014-05-13 12:48:42 PM  
Also. Typing on phone while driving. So I didn't think I was doing all that bad.
 
2014-05-13 12:53:48 PM  

wichitaleaf: Also. Typing on phone while driving. So I didn't think I was doing all that bad.


Jesus take the wheel! so I can send this text.
 
2014-05-13 01:04:47 PM  
It only takes about 15 seconds of inattention for a toddler to go from playing quietly by himself to near death experience.

Being a parent is all about surviving the odds.
 
2014-05-13 01:06:54 PM  
He was escaping from some green rocks.
 
2014-05-13 01:07:42 PM  

MugzyBrown: It only takes about 15 seconds of inattention for a toddler to go from playing quietly by himself to near death experience.

Being a parent toddler is all about surviving the odds.


/FTFY
 
2014-05-13 01:13:17 PM  

the801: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 503x230]


img.fark.net
 
2014-05-13 01:34:51 PM  

wichitaleaf: Are you all English teachers?
Good god.
Your
Your
Your
Who the hell cares.
Peace to all.


You didn't capitalize God. Do not disrespect your all loving creator with your shiatty grammar or He'll chuck another baby out the window.
 
2014-05-13 01:38:27 PM  
Evolutionary explanation of why this is possible:
bahfest.com

http://bahfest.com/
 
2014-05-13 01:44:44 PM  

Mr. Cat Poop: wichitaleaf: Are you all English teachers?
Good god.
Your
Your
Your
Who the hell cares.
Peace to all.

You didn't capitalize God. Do not disrespect your all loving creator with your shiatty grammar or He'll chuck another baby out the window.


I see what you did there, you heathen.
 
2014-05-13 02:30:41 PM  

ValKilmersElbow: [www.toptenz.net image 493x430]

Was only dropped once.  Well maybe twice.


Came for Sloth, leaving through a hole in the cave wall.

/Fall?  FALL!
 
2014-05-13 02:34:47 PM  
i60.photobucket.com

Yes, the rock will fall faster.  But which one will bounce?
 
2014-05-13 04:52:21 PM  
asset-f.soup.io
 
2014-05-13 07:36:34 PM  

Cashew: People Who Annoy You: So, drunk babies are indestructible?
I saw a drunk friend fall from the ninth floor, his spleen popped like a ballon but he lived, probably due to drunkeness.


My brother rolled a car with five very drunk people in it, and they were all fine. maybe a bruise or something. And this was in the 70's--no airbags or anything like that.

/He didn't even remember it
 
2014-05-13 07:37:24 PM  
FTA:...family and community members are dubbing Musa Dayib "the miracle baby...

She is the Kwisatz Haderach?
 
2014-05-13 10:30:30 PM  
phrawgh: What a miracle! ABSOLUTE PROOF the LORD GOD exists and looks over us. Praise Jesus for saving this precious child. Nothing is impossible through HIM. Open your eyes Fark non-believers. He has just revealed Himself to you AGAIN!


It's not trolling when you moon-bats do it.
 
2014-05-13 10:32:40 PM  
img.fark.net

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