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(The Wire)   Pope says baptism should be available to anyone who wants it, whether they be man, Martian or Gelgamek   (thewire.com) divider line 48
    More: Silly, Pope Francis, Lord Jesus Christ, Jewish laws, pope  
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1476 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2014 at 9:18 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-13 08:59:50 AM  
So aliens have original sin? And are redeemed by Christ's sacrifice? Something smells fishy here, and it didn't come with five loaves.
 
2014-05-13 09:11:49 AM  

gnosis301: So aliens have original sin? And are redeemed by Christ's sacrifice? Something smells fishy here, and it didn't come with five loaves.


"Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior?"

"Umm...who?"
 
2014-05-13 09:17:54 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Stan: Roger, meet Jesus.
Jesus: Ah, an alien. One of my father's side projects.
Roger: You'd better watch your mouth!

/Roger also plays a very convincing Jesus in the play
//Gets the Savior Bulge just right
 
2014-05-13 09:22:28 AM  
I concur. Now, come here and get baptized in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
 
2014-05-13 09:22:58 AM  
I'd think if they really purported to embrace a savior of another life form, would that define them as mentally ill to their peers?
 
2014-05-13 09:25:56 AM  
So I can baptize my dog and she'll be allowed into heaven?
 
2014-05-13 09:26:04 AM  

Ex-Texan: I'd think if they really purported to embrace a savior of another life form, would that define them as mentally ill to their peers?


The aliens might not even have heads. Lets not presume they all have fedoras.
 
2014-05-13 09:28:41 AM  

Diogenes: gnosis301: So aliens have original sin? And are redeemed by Christ's sacrifice? Something smells fishy here, and it didn't come with five loaves.

"Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior?"

"Umm...who?"



Young Marklar, your Marklars are wise and true.
 
2014-05-13 09:30:14 AM  
Christians are always trying to convert everyone that flies into Uranus.

southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2014-05-13 09:31:55 AM  

maxx2112: Diogenes: gnosis301: So aliens have original sin? And are redeemed by Christ's sacrifice? Something smells fishy here, and it didn't come with five loaves.

"Do you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior?"

"Umm...who?"


Young Marklar, your Marklars are wise and true.


Glad we have the same idea here.
 
2014-05-13 09:35:07 AM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Christians are always trying to convert everyone that flies into Uranus.

[southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com image 720x405]


I called the phone number and it's disconnected.


/feeling duped
 
2014-05-13 09:37:12 AM  
Queen Spider told the Pope to say that.
 
2014-05-13 09:38:39 AM  
I wonder if Pope Francis realizes he just played right into the Mormons' hands?
 
2014-05-13 09:39:04 AM  
The Space Pope?
 
2014-05-13 09:40:01 AM  
What about becoming water brothers?
 
2014-05-13 09:40:06 AM  

Muta: So I can baptize my dog and she'll be allowed into heaven?


When asked, the nuns in grade school assured us that all pets get a free pass ;-)
 
2014-05-13 09:43:01 AM  
And if they don't want it they get their silly little heads cut off.

Grok that.
 
2014-05-13 09:44:08 AM  
Good, I just wantssss to kisss the Pope's precioussss ring.
 
2014-05-13 09:45:54 AM  

gnosis301: So aliens have original sin? And are redeemed by Christ's sacrifice? Something smells fishy here, and it didn't come with five loaves.


I actually went to a fascinating discussion panel (at DragonCon) with a Catholic priest talking about the theological implications of extraterrestrial life, and one of the issues that came up is that aliens might not have original sin and might not have any need of redemption.  Or the creator of the universe could have revealed himself to aliens in a different manner.  There's really no incompatibility between a belief in Christianity and a belief in extraterrestrial life.
 
2014-05-13 09:46:35 AM  
There's already a space pope
 
2014-05-13 09:47:25 AM  
If it didn't pass through a vagina which passed through a vagina that passed through a vagina that... all the way back to Eve, it ain't got to worry about Original Sin.

/unborn/aborted fetuses are in the clear
 
2014-05-13 09:52:50 AM  
So what about that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo?
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-13 09:57:48 AM  
I have always wondered how the catholic church reconciled original sin with evolution. If there was no eve then how did humans get original sin? Can someone explain it?
 
2014-05-13 09:59:46 AM  
But they don't want the Irish!
 
2014-05-13 10:09:39 AM  
I think the catholic church would have been in a much better place if it had historically been populated by guys more like him instead of the loser children of medieval nobles playing power games at the expense of the populations
 
2014-05-13 10:12:18 AM  

Nunpoo: What about becoming water brothers?


I'm not sure if he'd join the church of all worlds, but I'd love to watch a conversation between Mike and Franky
 
2014-05-13 10:16:20 AM  
Can we just forget about the Galgameks?
 
2014-05-13 10:17:51 AM  
img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-05-13 10:31:06 AM  

loonatic112358: I think the catholic church would have been in a much better place if it had historically been populated by guys more like him instead of the loser children of medieval nobles playing power games at the expense of the populations


And leave the political power of Europe's nobility unopposed by any comparable institution?

Medieval Europe would go Full Westeros and then collapse because they don't have dragons to hold nations together when it all goes that spectacularly in the toilet.
 
2014-05-13 11:08:43 AM  
www.technovelgy.com

Approves.
 
2014-05-13 11:10:17 AM  

loonatic112358: I think the catholic church would have been in a much better place if it had historically been populated by guys more like him instead of the loser children of medieval nobles playing power games at the expense of the populations


You talk as if the peasants were individuals we should feel compassion or empathy for. Property doesn't have feelings. That changed in 1707. So come thou no more for sympathy, gentle loonatic112358, they shall have none I swear, but these my joints, which if they have as I shall leave 'em them, shall yield them little.
 
2014-05-13 11:17:05 AM  
What about Smizmars?
 
2014-05-13 11:23:23 AM  
Religion. You can't make this stuff up!
 
2014-05-13 11:30:55 AM  

PRIME Supernintendo Chalmers: I have always wondered how the catholic church reconciled original sin with evolution. If there was no eve then how did humans get original sin? Can someone explain it?


Well, A) there really was an "Eve' ie a single human female ancestor from which we all descend

but B) and here I am busting out some of my private label theology, I've always felt that original sin and the eden story was a metaphor for the moment humans became self aware.   Becoming self aware, being able to make choices not guided by pure instinct is what separates us from the animals, but in that moment we also take responsibility for the morality of our choices as well.  So "original sin" refers to the moment when we had the CAPACITY to sin, something i would argue animals do not have.
 
2014-05-13 11:51:12 AM  
In nomine Patris, et Filii WHERE'S THE SPLASH?!  There was supposed to be an earth shattering splash!!

icons.iconarchive.com
 
2014-05-13 11:59:49 AM  
Nice effort but the alien invasion fleet the Vatican observatory detected is going to convert us to THEIR (one true) religion, though most of us will die in the process. It's worth it.

/I'd like to be among the first...
 
2014-05-13 12:14:02 PM  

phrawgh: Nice effort but the alien invasion fleet the Vatican observatory detected is going to convert us to THEIR (one true) religion, though most of us will die in the process. It's worth it.

/I'd like to be among the first...


Well if anyone could pull a "Pope Leo " on an invading armada, it'd be francis
 
2014-05-13 12:19:32 PM  

gnosis301: So aliens have original sin? And are redeemed by Christ's sacrifice? Something smells fishy here, and it didn't come with five loaves.


Aliens are also of fine Nordic stack, with long hair.
 
2014-05-13 12:51:38 PM  

Magorn: PRIME Supernintendo Chalmers: I have always wondered how the catholic church reconciled original sin with evolution. If there was no eve then how did humans get original sin? Can someone explain it?

Well, A) there really was an "Eve' ie a single human female ancestor from which we all descend

but B) and here I am busting out some of my private label theology, I've always felt that original sin and the eden story was a metaphor for the moment humans became self aware.   Becoming self aware, being able to make choices not guided by pure instinct is what separates us from the animals, but in that moment we also take responsibility for the morality of our choices as well.  So "original sin" refers to the moment when we had the CAPACITY to sin, something i would argue animals do not have.


That's not that far off from from the official Catholic position.

"390 The account of the fall in Genesis 3 uses figurative language, but affirms a primeval event, a deed that took place at the beginning of the history of man.264 "  - Catechism of the Catholic Church

I mean, Eden can't actually exist literally.  After the Fall, Adam and Eve were expelled to the world, but the garden remained, guarded by an angel with a flaming sword.  Now that can't be literally true, we have mapped and photographed the entire planet and I can't find Eden on Google Earth anywhere.  So there is either a giant conspiracy to cover it's existence up, or we have to assume that God was using the language of epic myth and poetry to get a point across.  We have free will, and the ability to understand what that means, and that is the big distinction between Man and animals.

I assume then, that any intelligent lizard people who could hypothetically land in St Peter's Square and ask for baptism etc would be counted as "men" for theological purposes.  The closest parallel I can think of is the colonization of the Americas, when the Church (well, mostly the Jesuits) took the position that the native population were men, not beasts to be enslaved.  (And no, that wasn't so popular with the conquistadors.)
 
2014-05-13 01:07:41 PM  

Muta: So I can baptize my dog and she'll be allowed into heaven?


Oblig.
 
2014-05-13 01:41:47 PM  
img2.wikia.nocookie.net

The Gelgamek vagina is three feet wide and filled with razor-sharp teeth. Do you really expect us to baptize that?
 
2014-05-13 01:58:25 PM  
Branson?
 
2014-05-13 02:01:13 PM  

DrunkWithImpotence: Magorn: PRIME Supernintendo Chalmers: I have always wondered how the catholic church reconciled original sin with evolution. If there was no eve then how did humans get original sin? Can someone explain it?

Well, A) there really was an "Eve' ie a single human female ancestor from which we all descend

but B) and here I am busting out some of my private label theology, I've always felt that original sin and the eden story was a metaphor for the moment humans became self aware.   Becoming self aware, being able to make choices not guided by pure instinct is what separates us from the animals, but in that moment we also take responsibility for the morality of our choices as well.  So "original sin" refers to the moment when we had the CAPACITY to sin, something i would argue animals do not have.

That's not that far off from from the official Catholic position.

"390 The account of the fall in Genesis 3 uses figurative language, but affirms a primeval event, a deed that took place at the beginning of the history of man.264 "  - Catechism of the Catholic Church

I mean, Eden can't actually exist literally.  After the Fall, Adam and Eve were expelled to the world, but the garden remained, guarded by an angel with a flaming sword.  Now that can't be literally true, we have mapped and photographed the entire planet and I can't find Eden on Google Earth anywhere.  So there is either a giant conspiracy to cover it's existence up, or we have to assume that God was using the language of epic myth and poetry to get a point across.  We have free will, and the ability to understand what that means, and that is the big distinction between Man and animals.

I assume then, that any intelligent lizard people who could hypothetically land in St Peter's Square and ask for baptism etc would be counted as "men" for theological purposes.  The closest parallel I can think of is the colonization of the Americas, when the Church (well, mostly the Jesuits) took the position that the native population were men, not beasts to be enslaved.  (And no, that wasn't so popular with the conquistadors.)


Thanks magorn and drunkwithimpotence for answering my question. :)
 
2014-05-13 03:28:05 PM  

DrunkWithImpotence: Magorn: PRIME Supernintendo Chalmers: I have always wondered how the catholic church reconciled original sin with evolution. If there was no eve then how did humans get original sin? Can someone explain it?

Well, A) there really was an "Eve' ie a single human female ancestor from which we all descend

but B) and here I am busting out some of my private label theology, I've always felt that original sin and the eden story was a metaphor for the moment humans became self aware.   Becoming self aware, being able to make choices not guided by pure instinct is what separates us from the animals, but in that moment we also take responsibility for the morality of our choices as well.  So "original sin" refers to the moment when we had the CAPACITY to sin, something i would argue animals do not have.

That's not that far off from from the official Catholic position.

"390 The account of the fall in Genesis 3 uses figurative language, but affirms a primeval event, a deed that took place at the beginning of the history of man.264 "  - Catechism of the Catholic Church

I mean, Eden can't actually exist literally.  After the Fall, Adam and Eve were expelled to the world, but the garden remained, guarded by an angel with a flaming sword.  Now that can't be literally true, we have mapped and photographed the entire planet and I can't find Eden on Google Earth anywhere.  So there is either a giant conspiracy to cover it's existence up, or we have to assume that God was using the language of epic myth and poetry to get a point across.  We have free will, and the ability to understand what that means, and that is the big distinction between Man and animals.

I assume then, that any intelligent lizard people who could hypothetically land in St Peter's Square and ask for baptism etc would be counted as "men" for theological purposes.  The closest parallel I can think of is the colonization of the Americas, when the Church (well, mostly the Jesuits) took the position that the native p ...


the allegory doesn't just have to be about self-awareness. It can also be about civilization. Sure there are some comforts that being civilized brings but you give up living in "the garden". Being a hunter-gatherer is a lot of work but there is also a lot of down time and leisure. Once men became "civilized" by tasting the fruit of knowledge, an entire way of life that had existed for generations since the beginning of human existence came to an end. Civilization requires a lot of effort and once you build a nice one, another will come around and try to take what you've built. That means war and killing. It means laborers doing back-braking work to make walls. It means people are no longer living in tight knit family groups were everyone is relatively equal. It means the creation of classes of laborers and artisans and people in power who can exploit others (which opens the door for evil). And once you are civilized, you really can't go back to the garden.
 
2014-05-13 03:49:48 PM  
...so what happens if a chimpanzee asks?
 
2014-05-13 03:55:25 PM  

abb3w: ...so what happens if a chimpanzee asks?


sciencefictionruminations.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-13 05:49:01 PM  

gnosis301: So aliens have original sin? And are redeemed by Christ's sacrifice? Something smells fishy here, and it didn't come with five loaves.


Well, it worked for the "aliens" the Europeans discovered inhabiting the "New World" some 500 years ago.  (At least, those who survived the plagues the Europeans brought.)

I think the point the Pope was trying to make was that Christ redeemed ALL mankind, including men (and women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri) whom we've never seen and may be vastly different from us.  It's never a good idea to impose limits on God.
 
2014-05-14 04:03:30 PM  
Rudimentary Peni for the win!

"When you are a martian church,
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

When you are a martian church,
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

When you are a martian church,
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

When you are a martian church,
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

When the dust has settled,
And you're born again,
Maybe as a martian church,
Maybe then you'll see,
That your reality,
Was squashed into banality,
squashed into banality,
squashed into banality,

When you are a martian church,
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

When you are a martian church,
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

When you are a martian church,
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

When you are a martian church,
RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

When you are a martian church...."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwtZrw4g03g
RP.  1983
 
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