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(Reuters)   You would think that somewhere along the line in this aspiring lawyer's academic life, he would have encountered the rules and laws against randomly ripping the head off a bird   (reuters.com) divider line 62
    More: Dumbass, Las Vegas, gross misdemeanor, Las Vegas Hotels, dolls, probation  
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3644 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2014 at 10:13 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



62 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-12 08:04:30 PM  
"Aspiring lawyer"?  Does the article mean "law school student"?  Goddammitallsomuch.
 
2014-05-12 08:33:55 PM  
If ripping the head of a bird is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Solid State Vittles: "Aspiring lawyer"?  Does the article mean "law school student"?  Goddammitallsomuch.


Or a graduate who has yet to pass the bar exam. Or someone who has not yet entered law school.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-05-12 08:47:36 PM  
Yeah, that's a gross misdemeanor alright.
 
2014-05-12 09:10:01 PM  
picketers demanding justice for the bird

classiccitytoday.com
 
2014-05-12 09:28:29 PM  
i676.photobucket.com

Pretty bird. Pretty bird.
 
2014-05-12 09:41:04 PM  
Law school grads are a dime a dozen. Even less. The market is way over-saturated with them. The state bar should toss this kid and fail him on "character and fitness" and thin the herd a little bit.
 
2014-05-12 10:02:49 PM  
i294.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-12 10:20:13 PM  
So, wait, is this the same guy who was leaving piles of beheaded birds in Vegas, or ANOTHER guy ripping heads off birds in Vegas?

/DNRTFA
 
2014-05-12 10:21:25 PM  
That poor bird. :(
 
2014-05-12 10:25:34 PM  
Fark that bird. Our lawyer supply is dangerously low. I passed by 30 bus stop signs the other day and one of them was for a dentist. That's a bus stop sign that could have been advertising another lawyer. This insanity must end.
 
2014-05-12 10:25:38 PM  
www.dvdtalk.com

You teach yourselves the law, but I train your minds. You come in here with a guineafowl's skull full of mush; you leave thinking like a lawyer.
 
2014-05-12 10:26:05 PM  
Farm boy?
 
2014-05-12 10:27:20 PM  
Law student should have claimed a first amendment religious protection based on Leviticus 1:14-17 which gives instructions for sacrificing a bird:


14 If the offering to the LORD is a burnt offering of birds, he is to offer a dove or a young pigeon.

15 The priest shall bring it to the altar, wring off the head and burn it on the altar; its blood shall be drained out on the side of the altar.

16 He is to remove the crop with its contents and throw it to the east side of the altar, where the ashes are.

17 He shall tear it open by the wings, not severing it completely, and then the priest shall burn it on the wood that is on the fire on the altar. It is a burnt offering, an offering made by fire, an aroma pleasing to the LORD.
 
2014-05-12 10:27:54 PM  
Didn't Ozzy bite off the head of a bat at a concert once? Did he get probation for it?
 
2014-05-12 10:28:30 PM  
Teixeira was also ordered to spend 16 hours each month working unpaid at an animal shelter for the duration of his probation.

Supervised, i hope...
 
2014-05-12 10:30:23 PM  
He's graduated and passed the bar, but hasn't been sworn yet. (His name doesn't come up on the CA Bar's Attorney Search) Whether he gets to practice law in California is going entirely to depend on a) whether he completes his probation in Nevada and b) how well he grovels before the CA Bar when he's done and promises never to do this kind of thing again.

I predict he'll be a paralegal working for some third-rate law firm in Escondido in another couple of years.
 
2014-05-12 10:33:28 PM  

TheWhoppah: Law student should have claimed a first amendment religious protection based on Leviticus 1:14-17 which gives instructions for sacrificing a bird


Damn. The Lord is one sadistic motherfarker.
 
2014-05-12 10:34:14 PM  
He ripped the bird's head off, not because he didn't realize it was wrong, but because he's a douchebag.

// Some people are simply unpleasant.
 
2014-05-12 10:35:37 PM  
Yeah, but, his self esteem is good.

He's just expressing himself.
 
2014-05-12 10:35:38 PM  
i.imgur.com

You can go a long time without figuring that out.
 
2014-05-12 10:36:35 PM  
On the case:
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-12 10:38:46 PM  
It must be strange for someone who slaughters poultry or hunts game birds to hear what a farking monster this guy is for beheading a bird.
 
2014-05-12 10:41:29 PM  
Sounds like he has a promising future practicing law.
 
2014-05-12 10:44:16 PM  

Mugato: TheWhoppah: Law student should have claimed a first amendment religious protection based on Leviticus 1:14-17 which gives instructions for sacrificing a bird

Damn. The Lord is one sadistic motherfarker.


You sound like you've eaten the forbidden fruit of the Tree of Reading Comprehension. To thus know that the Lord thy God is evil personified. Or evil deified. Or something.
 
2014-05-12 10:52:19 PM  

Snapper Carr: [i.imgur.com image 480x360]

You can go a long time without figuring that out.


Came for this, left satisfied.
 
2014-05-12 10:53:26 PM  
Between the ages of 7 and 9, I worked in the kill house of a mom-and-pop poultry farm. I've beheaded far more birds than I will ever eat.

I also made 10 cents per cleaned gizzard which made me about $20 bucks a day during the harvest. Not bad for a kid under 10 in the very early 80s.
 
2014-05-12 10:57:43 PM  
Mike the Headless Chicken
 
2014-05-12 10:59:39 PM  
In his defense, he might have thought it was a Las Vegas dinosaur.
i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-12 11:03:04 PM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: It must be strange for someone who slaughters poultry or hunts game birds to hear what a farking monster this guy is for beheading a bird.


GDubDub: Between the ages of 7 and 9, I worked in the kill house of a mom-and-pop poultry farm. I've beheaded far more birds than I will ever eat.


Amazingly, there are activities, which are perfectly acceptable in one circumstance, but a total no-no in others.  To whit: walk into the Smithsonian on Every Child Gets a Balloon Day, strip naked, and insert a greased pineapple up your keister. You will end up before a magistrate.  However, doing the same in your own living room is not considered bad at all.  A hotel room is neither a slaughterhouse nor a fallow field.
 
2014-05-12 11:03:22 PM  

doosh: Didn't Ozzy bite off the head of a bat at a concert once? Did he get probation for it?


He bit off a bat's head during a concert, allegedly thinking it was fake until he bit it. A year earlier, he bit the head off a live dove during a meeting with CBS execs. He took some criticism, but wasn't charged, and it's a great career move to appeal to the gothy idiot demographic; even in recent years he poses menacingly with birds and rodents, and used to pose similarly with cats.
 
2014-05-12 11:04:51 PM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: It must be strange for someone who slaughters poultry or hunts game birds to hear what a farking monster this guy is for beheading a bird.


Not really that's not a game bird or some chicken he was gonna eat, that's someones pet bird and he's an ass for doing it.
 
2014-05-12 11:05:59 PM  

phalamir: Amazingly, there are activities, which are perfectly acceptable in one circumstance, but a total no-no in others. To whit: walk into the Smithsonian on Every Child Gets a Balloon Day, strip naked, and insert a greased pineapple up your keister. You will end up before a magistrate. However, doing the same in your own living room is not considered bad at all. A hotel room is neither a slaughterhouse nor a fallow field.


You've never been to a Best Western, I take it....
 
2014-05-12 11:06:13 PM  

TheWhoppah: Law student should have claimed a first amendment religious protection based on Leviticus 1:14-17 which gives instructions for sacrificing a bird:


14 If the offering to the LORD is a burnt offering of birds, he is to offer a dove or a young pigeon.

15 The priest shall bring it to the altar, wring off the head and burn it on the altar; its blood shall be drained out on the side of the altar.

16 He is to remove the crop with its contents and throw it to the east side of the altar, where the ashes are.

17 He shall tear it open by the wings, not severing it completely, and then the priest shall burn it on the wood that is on the fire on the altar. It is a burnt offering, an offering made by fire, an aroma pleasing to the LORD.


Does anyone else get the impression that Leviticus was just left in because they were genuinely scared of the guy? Or was he an attempt to appeal to the psychotic nutbag crowd?
 
2014-05-12 11:06:53 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: That poor bird. :(


No kidding. Ripping its head off by hand? That had to be an unpleasant way to go. At least an axe is fast...  And honestly, why? They're like feathery bowling balls on legs. Yeah, they can be loud, but they're not exactly threatening.

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-12 11:07:23 PM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: It must be strange for someone who slaughters poultry or hunts game birds to hear what a farking monster this guy is for beheading a bird.


I was thinking the same thing.  I was taught a few methods of slaughtering chickens that now appear to felonious in the State of Nevada.  If it was a quick kill, slap the guy with a disturbing the peace charge and (assuming it was a factor) public drunkenness.

/doesn't get shocked when somebody says they're a felon anymore
//too many things that were misdemeanors 30 years ago are felonies now
///keep watering down the meaning of a felon - the private prisons funding your political campaigns thank you for your work
 
2014-05-12 11:10:42 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: phalamir: Amazingly, there are activities, which are perfectly acceptable in one circumstance, but a total no-no in others. To whit: walk into the Smithsonian on Every Child Gets a Balloon Day, strip naked, and insert a greased pineapple up your keister. You will end up before a magistrate. However, doing the same in your own living room is not considered bad at all. A hotel room is neither a slaughterhouse nor a fallow field.

You've never been to a Best Western, I take it....


No, but I *did* stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night...
 
2014-05-12 11:14:40 PM  

phalamir: Amazingly, there are activities, which are perfectly acceptable in one circumstance, but a total no-no in others. To whit: walk into the Smithsonian on Every Child Gets a Balloon Day, strip naked, and insert a greased pineapple up your keister. You will end up before a magistrate. However, doing the same in your own living room is not considered bad at all. A hotel room is neither a slaughterhouse nor a fallow field.


But should public lewdness be its own separate charge or should it fall under disturbing the peace?  Do you really think somebody running naked across a football field or through the Smithsonian should be a registered sex offender?

I don't disagree that his action were unlawful.  I just ask if the severity is on par with the crime?
 
2014-05-12 11:15:26 PM  

phalamir: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: It must be strange for someone who slaughters poultry or hunts game birds to hear what a farking monster this guy is for beheading a bird.

GDubDub: Between the ages of 7 and 9, I worked in the kill house of a mom-and-pop poultry farm. I've beheaded far more birds than I will ever eat.

Amazingly, there are activities, which are perfectly acceptable in one circumstance, but a total no-no in others.  To whit: walk into the Smithsonian on Every Child Gets a Balloon Day, strip naked, and insert a greased pineapple up your keister. You will end up before a magistrate.  However, doing the same in your own living room is not considered bad at all.  A hotel room is neither a slaughterhouse nor a fallow field.


Point.
 
wee
2014-05-12 11:17:59 PM  
Just kill him and save the world and future grief...
 
2014-05-12 11:19:37 PM  

phalamir: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: It must be strange for someone who slaughters poultry or hunts game birds to hear what a farking monster this guy is for beheading a bird.

GDubDub: Between the ages of 7 and 9, I worked in the kill house of a mom-and-pop poultry farm. I've beheaded far more birds than I will ever eat.

Amazingly, there are activities, which are perfectly acceptable in one circumstance, but a total no-no in others.  To whit: walk into the Smithsonian on Every Child Gets a Balloon Day, strip naked, and insert a greased pineapple up your keister. You will end up before a magistrate.  However, doing the same in your own living room is not considered bad at all.  A hotel room is neither a slaughterhouse nor a fallow field.


Smarted and Funnied.
 
2014-05-12 11:36:40 PM  

Snapper Carr: [i.imgur.com image 480x360]

You can go a long time without figuring that out.


what, "everyone was laughing"?
 
2014-05-12 11:37:27 PM  

DerPups: Snapper Carr: [i.imgur.com image 480x360]

You can go a long time without figuring that out.

what, "everyone was laughing smiling"?


FTFM, thanks
 
2014-05-12 11:37:45 PM  

Dinjiin: phalamir: Amazingly, there are activities, which are perfectly acceptable in one circumstance, but a total no-no in others. To whit: walk into the Smithsonian on Every Child Gets a Balloon Day, strip naked, and insert a greased pineapple up your keister. You will end up before a magistrate. However, doing the same in your own living room is not considered bad at all. A hotel room is neither a slaughterhouse nor a fallow field.

But should public lewdness be its own separate charge or should it fall under disturbing the peace?  Do you really think somebody running naked across a football field or through the Smithsonian should be a registered sex offender?

I don't disagree that his action were unlawful.  I just ask if the severity is on par with the crime?


Huh?  Where did sex offender registries come into it?  I didn't mention them - and the guy wasn't charged with any sex crime.
 
2014-05-12 11:38:54 PM  
DRUNKEN beheading.

The worst sort of people reveal themselves after, at most, three drinks.
 
2014-05-12 11:43:19 PM  
picketers demanding justice for the bird

That is not a bad name for a band.
 
2014-05-13 12:07:48 AM  

Solid State Vittles: "Aspiring lawyer"?  Does the article mean "law school student"?  Goddammitallsomuch.


I think "lawyer" was sarcasm, and they really meant "psychopath outs himself before he could really cause trouble."
 
2014-05-13 12:16:10 AM  

Mark Ratner: Pretty bird. Pretty bird.


Came for this
 
2014-05-13 12:52:52 AM  
This piece of shiat didn't just rip the head off of a live bird. He drunkenly wandered into the middle of the Flamingo Resort's outdoor  wildlife habitat filled with a dozen types of tame birds, (including a flock of pink flamingos) grabbed a random bird, and ripped it's head off IN FULL VIEW of the children and little old ladies sitting in the Flamingo Buffet's seating area which overlooks the habitat. What's really amazing is that someone who was in the restaurant isn't suing him because they have PTSD now.
 
2014-05-13 01:10:09 AM  
So a bro kills an animal, and has to help at an Animal Treatment center.

But a rapist cannot work at a Rape Recovery center.

okay.jpg
 
2014-05-13 01:16:41 AM  

phalamir: Where did sex offender registries come into it?


You mentioned being nude in the Smithsonian.  In many places these days, that alone would be enough to make your way onto a registry.  Having carnal knowledge with a greased pineapple just guarantees it.
 
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