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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: My parents consider me a failure because I only have a bachelor's degree, a mid-level office job, a good husband, and a wonderful child. How can I convince them I'm not worthless because I don't have a doctorate?"   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, bachelor's degrees, doctorates, losers, Emily Yoffe  
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9212 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2014 at 6:40 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



125 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2014-05-12 05:22:10 PM  
Solution in a handy song by the Only Ones..
 
2014-05-12 05:26:21 PM  
Do porn.
 
2014-05-12 05:29:34 PM  
A:  compute your total lifetime earnings with the bachelor's degree, versus the total lifetime earnings with a PhD---taking into account the delay of career, delay of retirement savings, not to mention expected delay waiting for a job opening for e.g. an academic position, the expected salary for that position, etc.

Then throw in the need to move to get that job, the inability to own a house or start a family until you're over 30, and the risk of simply dropping out when your adviser dies.
 
2014-05-12 05:38:06 PM  
Convince one of your siblings to start taking heroin.
 
2014-05-12 05:44:13 PM  
I realize this is fake, but any parent who can't see the value of their own children is not someone you're going to convince with reason.
 
2014-05-12 05:47:26 PM  

Xcott: A:  compute your total lifetime earnings with the bachelor's degree, versus the total lifetime earnings with a PhD---taking into account the delay of career, delay of retirement savings, not to mention expected delay waiting for a job opening for e.g. an academic position, the expected salary for that position, etc.

Then throw in the need to move to get that job, the inability to own a house or start a family until you're over 30, and the risk of simply dropping out when your adviser dies.


Don't forget the added student debt.

12 reasons not to get a PhD
 
2014-05-12 06:03:15 PM  
Asian, Indian, or Persian family?
 
2014-05-12 06:20:15 PM  
I could introduce them to my subordinate at work, whose doctorate earns him $9/hour doing work they they usually hire 18 year olds to do, who has me with my associate's degree as his immediate superior making exponentially more than he does. And he's got over $50 grand in student loan debt.
 
2014-05-12 06:20:23 PM  
I'm a degenerate drunk with no advanced education and my parents still love and take pride in me. Or they fake it real good.
 
2014-05-12 06:24:26 PM  
In 2014, with people holding college degrees struggling to find work of any kind, this constitutes stealth bragging. Your parents consider you a failure, but everybody else hates you.
 
2014-05-12 06:39:17 PM  
Stop reading this column and don't send me questions.

Sincerely,
Prudence
 
2014-05-12 06:42:41 PM  

PreMortem: I'm a degenerate drunk with no advanced education and my parents still love and take pride in me. Or they fake it real good.


31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-12 06:42:48 PM  
Accuse them of being in league with the gub'mint and let stupid angry conservatives at them.

Problem solved.
 
2014-05-12 06:42:59 PM  

Quasar: Asian, Indian, or Persian family?


I'm thinkin Asian peop;e's problems.

/too Jewish?
 
2014-05-12 06:43:28 PM  
Hey, if you don't have enough dedication and persistence to get a Ph.D., you probably don't have what it takes to persuade you parents, either.

Might as well give up (again), loser.
 
2014-05-12 06:45:54 PM  

aimtastic: I could introduce them to my subordinate at work, whose doctorate earns him $9/hour doing work they they usually hire 18 year olds to do, who has me with my associate's degree as his immediate superior making exponentially more than he does. And he's got over $50 grand in student loan debt.


Really??!! That's depressing.

/I have an MA
//its been pretty worthless
 
2014-05-12 06:47:17 PM  

Ambivalence: I realize this is fake, but any parent who can't see the value of their own children is not someone you're going to convince with reason.


wait...you mean there are parents that value children?
 
2014-05-12 06:47:58 PM  
Those parents will never stop considering you a failure. You could cure cancer, negotiate world peace, and reveal yourself as the second coming; they're still going to wish you would aim higher.

Fark them. Cut them out of your life and make sure you aren't such a source of neurosis for your own kids.
 
2014-05-12 06:48:24 PM  
Parent's are narcissists who only see you as an extension of themselves, and not an individual. Cut em loose.
 
2014-05-12 06:49:43 PM  
Don't bother. If they aren't proud of you by the time you take your first shiat it is NEVER going to happen.
 
2014-05-12 06:49:59 PM  
Heh.  I was going to do the whole "Look, parents suck, here are my examples" thing, but decided its stupid to biatch about it.  I think, in this case, I would just go with the following:

"Hey, your 'rents sound old country, and praise from them comes in the form of NOT getting a beating.
Take your victories for what they are, and get on with your bad self."
 
2014-05-12 06:51:28 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: Parent's are narcissists who only see you as an extension of themselves, and not an individual. Cut em loose.


This.  It'd be one thing if she was living in their basement.  But given she is completely independent, she can remove them from her life.
 
2014-05-12 06:51:37 PM  
Seriously, stop talking to them for a year or two.  But talk to their friends.  They'll get the hint.
 
2014-05-12 06:52:25 PM  
The best way to handle this is outright reject your parent's bullshiat, right to their face.
If they don't stop, then WALK AWAY. If they truly love you, they will apologize and make up.

Really we shouldn't feel bad about doing this, Respect for your parents should always be earned, not automatically bestowed upon them just because they are your parents.

The world would be a much better place if more people rejected their pig-ignorant parents beliefs and traditions,.
 
2014-05-12 06:52:58 PM  

Quasar: Asian, Indian, or Persian family?


Indians and Persians are Asian too.
 
2014-05-12 06:53:50 PM  
I work for a school district and a network admin with a "BS" from a tech school and make more than most of the staff many who have a PhD

I'm ok with this
 
2014-05-12 06:54:24 PM  
This just in:

The push for getting a degree is simply a marketing tactic by the student loan cartels to drive profits. It has no correlation to your earning potential except for some narrow, specific industries.

It's a lie.

/not degreed
//hasn't stopped me from a great career, house, and earning potential
 
2014-05-12 06:54:37 PM  
If you decide to go to grad school, make sure it's in anthropology.
 
2014-05-12 06:55:19 PM  
I think my dad wanted me to go to medical school. Molecular bio was my Waterloo so I didn't. I would have probably been like Doug from "Scrubs" if I had actually made it into medical school anyway. My mom wanted me to have kids. So I guess I'm a huge disappointment. I doubt they really care anyway. They always doted on their brilliant first-born son anyway so.

/We all got issues.
//right?
 
2014-05-12 06:55:47 PM  
Or, maybe you could get a doctorate.
 
2014-05-12 06:56:23 PM  
knockingonthebrotheldoor.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-12 06:56:37 PM  

lohphat: This just in:

The push for getting a degree is simply a marketing tactic by the student loan cartels to drive profits. It has no correlation to your earning potential except for some narrow, specific industries.

It's a lie.

/not degreed
//hasn't stopped me from a great career, house, and earning potential


What you're saying is correct except it's universities not loan cartels you should worry about, because they control the price of the commodity.
 
2014-05-12 06:56:53 PM  
37.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-12 06:57:16 PM  

Xcott: A:  compute your total lifetime earnings with the bachelor's degree, versus the total lifetime earnings with a PhD---taking into account the delay of career, delay of retirement savings, not to mention expected delay waiting for a job opening for e.g. an academic position, the expected salary for that position, etc.

Then throw in the need to move to get that job, the inability to own a house or start a family until you're over 30, and the risk of simply dropping out when your adviser dies.


I've designed more high end houses for doctors than anybody else.  I've also done a lot of work for a high school dropout that's worth around 100 million (commercial developer who made a brilliant move 40 years ago and never looked back).

Most people are educated beyond their intelligence anyway.  Your degree means less than your ability to do the work
 
2014-05-12 06:58:25 PM  
wait...you mean there are parents that value children?

not that i've ever seen
 
2014-05-12 06:59:04 PM  

JesseL: Those parents will never stop considering you a failure. You could cure cancer, negotiate world peace, and reveal yourself as the second coming; they're still going to wish you would aim higher.

Fark them. Cut them out of your life and make sure you aren't such a source of neurosis for your own kids.


3.bp.blogspot.com
Eh.
 
2014-05-12 06:59:51 PM  
And, I'm a Psych major doing DBA work, my field of study just helped me deal with people better...
 
2014-05-12 07:00:49 PM  
you can't.  get off your lazy a$$ and earn that farking doctorate already.
 
2014-05-12 07:01:09 PM  

Russ1642: Don't bother. If they aren't proud of you by the time you take your first shiat it is NEVER going to happen.


^This.
 
2014-05-12 07:01:35 PM  
34 posts and no one has mentioned grabbing a chainsaw and proceeding to prune the family free until only a stump remains?  Fark is becoming too civilized.
 
2014-05-12 07:01:41 PM  
Get a doctorate from a few diploma mills and call it even.
 
2014-05-12 07:01:42 PM  
Remind them they'll need someone to take care of them and change their diapers when they're old and dying. If if they don't think you're worthy, they can find someone else.

/still fake though
 
2014-05-12 07:01:46 PM  
www.troll.me
 
2014-05-12 07:01:51 PM  
"How can I convince them I'm not worthless because I don't have a doctorate?"

By going and getting one...


/</sarcasm>
 
2014-05-12 07:02:08 PM  

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: wait...you mean there are parents that value children?

not that i've ever seen


Three magic beans or a third tier milk cow, according to webuychildren.com.
 
2014-05-12 07:02:43 PM  

raerae1980: Really??!! That's depressing.

/I have an MA
//its been pretty worthless


Well, it's not like he's actually smart or talented. He went to the local Catholic university where they'll graduate anyone with a pulse and a FAFSA. If he had a single ounce of common sense or skill, they'd have promoted him instead of hiring me in from outside the company.
 
2014-05-12 07:07:05 PM  
But seriously... $US33, a Doctorate of Divinity or of Metaphysics. See what they say then...
 
2014-05-12 07:07:09 PM  
Is this a script for a Spielberg movie or some piece of Boomer crap?

'Well done, son" trope
 
2014-05-12 07:08:30 PM  
Convince yourself. Then no one else matters.
 
2014-05-12 07:10:06 PM  
Make them wonder why you're not calling home any more.
 
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