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(xoJane)   A guy is flirting with my wife and I'm OK with it, she's OK with it and he's OK with it. What happens now? Answer: A long boring discussion about polyamory should sap any sexiness out of that   (xojane.com) divider line 219
    More: Obvious, i'm ok  
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5324 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2014 at 4:44 PM (32 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-12 03:15:53 PM  
If you are okay with your relationship being open, you're polyamorous.

If you're so okay with it that you insist on it, you're Henny Youngman.
 
2014-05-12 03:50:53 PM  
A friend of mine wrote to me the other day that one of his wife's buddies had been flirting heavily with her, and he was... kinda okay with the idea.

I give this a 14.3 percent chance of having actually happened and not being a complete invention intended to provide an entry point for this very insightful article.
 
2014-05-12 03:57:31 PM  

Pocket Ninja: A friend of mine wrote to me the other day that one of his wife's buddies had been flirting heavily with her, and he was... kinda okay with the idea.

I give this a 14.3 percent chance of having actually happened and not being a complete invention intended to provide an entry point for this very insightful article.


That's the high-end.

I say we turn this into a Henny Youngman thread...
 
2014-05-12 04:46:42 PM  
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
 
2014-05-12 04:47:09 PM  
Hey, whatever makes you happy.

/never met a person in a polyamorous relationship who seemed well-adjusted and happy
 
2014-05-12 04:49:06 PM  
A robber walked up to me, stuck a gun in my face and said, "your money or your life!"

*waits 10 seconds*

then he got mad and said, "come on, mister!"

I said, "i'm thinking, I'm thinking!"
 
2014-05-12 04:49:14 PM  

brap: If you are okay with your relationship being open, you're polyamorous.

If you're so okay with it that you insist on it, you're Henny Youngman.


And if you are okay with your relationship being open, but those benefits do not extend to your girlfriend or are even known to her, then you might be on OK Cupid.
 
2014-05-12 04:49:19 PM  
Go change the oil in your pony tail.
 
2014-05-12 04:50:00 PM  
As long as everyone involved is 100% in favor and no one is brow beat into it I see no problem with consenting adults doing such things in thier bedrooms.
 
2014-05-12 04:50:15 PM  
Polyamory is wrong!


...It mixes Latin and Greek roots.  It should be either "multiamory" or "polyphilia".
 
2014-05-12 04:50:41 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Hey, whatever makes you happy.

/never met a person in a polyamorous relationship who seemed well-adjusted and happy


I kinda lean that way for myself, but also get slightly jealous at the idea, so I don't think I'd ever really try it. Plus recent events have shown I am absolutely NOT well adjusted or happy... supposedly some people can pull it off though.
 
2014-05-12 04:51:28 PM  
I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.
 
2014-05-12 04:51:53 PM  
"My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself."
 
2014-05-12 04:52:48 PM  
Actually, from any documentary etc on polyamory, the people involved with it should sap any sexiness right out of it.


NTTAWW Polyamory, do whatever you want.  But I will knock you the fark out if you make a pass at my fiancée.
 
2014-05-12 04:53:21 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


What is the average air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
 
2014-05-12 04:53:46 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


What's your favorite Henny Youngman joke?
 
2014-05-12 04:54:19 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: /never met a person in a polyamorous relationship who seemed well-adjusted and happy


I can say honestly, I have met far more dysfunctional heteronormative monogamous relationships than poly ones. Problem is, a lot of heteronormative monogamous people "Try polyamory" as a way to save their current relationship, which usually just prolongs the inevitable crash and burn. But those are not Polyamorous people, per se, just heteronormative monogamists bored to tears and in a period of self-delusion before one or both partners freak out because of jealousy/etc.

Jus' sayin'.
 
2014-05-12 04:54:25 PM  
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.


I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
 
2014-05-12 04:55:56 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


Pics or it didn't happen.

/obviously
//that lifestyle is not for me, even though I might fantasize rather heavily about that sort of thing (we all do, without exception)
 
2014-05-12 04:56:08 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


Should i fake my orgasams?
 
2014-05-12 04:57:43 PM  

rickythepenguin: A robber walked up to me, stuck a gun in my face and said, "your money or your life!"

*waits 10 seconds*

then he got mad and said, "come on, mister!"

I said, "i'm thinking, I'm thinking!"


I thought that was Jack Benny?
 
2014-05-12 04:58:22 PM  

Wessoman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: /never met a person in a polyamorous relationship who seemed well-adjusted and happy

I can say honestly, I have met far more dysfunctional heteronormative monogamous relationships than poly ones. Problem is, a lot of heteronormative monogamous people "Try polyamory" as a way to save their current relationship, which usually just prolongs the inevitable crash and burn. But those are not Polyamorous people, per se, just heteronormative monogamists bored to tears and in a period of self-delusion before one or both partners freak out because of jealousy/etc.

Jus' sayin'.


THAT and situations where 1 partner of the original 2 was for it and the other really wasnt and was browbeat into it are where most of the negative experieces come from.
 
2014-05-12 04:59:12 PM  
I'm not married, but my wife is.
 
2014-05-12 04:59:25 PM  
if both partners are depressed and have no libido, mixing in a 3rd just dilutes things out even more.

/yes, married, how did you know?
 
2014-05-12 04:59:41 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2014-05-12 05:01:25 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


Were any of you sexually abused growing up?  Do you have kids?  Is anyone in the relationship legally bound to anyone else in the relationship?
 
2014-05-12 05:01:41 PM  
If you need help on how to proceed, and what the basics are for making it a productive exploration read "The Ethical Slut".  Open marriages/relationships can be very enjoyable and healthy if done correctly and with the right frame of mind.  However, it requires the shedding of a LOT of cultural indoctrination that leads to jealousy and poor impulse control.

And we excel at piling it on.
 
2014-05-12 05:01:43 PM  
A drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"
 
2014-05-12 05:01:46 PM  

texastag: [mein-fun.com image 550x719]

/Swinger
//It's not for everyone


nice nipples
 
2014-05-12 05:01:50 PM  
love the jokes :)

Wife wants to try this with another woman. I'm ok with that.
 
2014-05-12 05:02:15 PM  
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
 
v15
2014-05-12 05:02:51 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


How does that work without someone getting jealous in bed or in the relationship itself? I've experienced the logistics of two girlfriends at once (without either of them knowing) but going fully poly, for me, sounds like a cage.
 
2014-05-12 05:03:07 PM  
I like the link on the same page

the lesbian photos that got me banned from facebook..
 
2014-05-12 05:03:28 PM  

v15: going fully poly, for me, sounds like a cage.


it is. one in the front...and one in the back.
 
2014-05-12 05:04:12 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


Who "closed" the triad? It was the dude, wasn't it? Come on, be honest.
 
2014-05-12 05:06:29 PM  

v15: theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.

How does that work without someone getting jealous in bed or in the relationship itself? I've experienced the logistics of two girlfriends at once (without either of them knowing) but going fully poly, for me, sounds like a cage.


I've often wondered about this. I know maybe two women I could stand for such a situation, the rest that I know, no farking way. They'd drive me crazy.
 
2014-05-12 05:08:04 PM  
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
 
2014-05-12 05:10:09 PM  
Guy's doctor tells him he's got six months to live. Couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him six more months.
 
2014-05-12 05:10:59 PM  

Wessoman: I can say honestly, I have met far more dysfunctional heteronormative monogamous relationships than poly ones.


You don't say.

I'll bet there are more classic cars in the US than there are in Cuba, too.
 
2014-05-12 05:14:16 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


Admittedly, I don't know anyone Polyamory's personally, or am at least not clued into their goings on perhaps.  So, all I know about it is what I read, or what I see on the TV or in documentaries etc.

Here is my take on it.

I am not opposed to whatever it is you want to do.  I've actually hooked up with 2 chicks at once.  It was only one occasion.  But my hooking up with them just seemed a natural thing what we all wanted to do.  It was fun, and we moved on.  I suppose it may even be natural, or at least appeal to vanity or curiosity.  I have never repeated that experience.  Where "poly's" confuse me is that they seem to want to make a statement/scene about it.  Thereby removing any of the natural ideas that I believe it should encompass.  Even by giving yourself the title "Poly", referring to yourself as a "poly" and even by your own word you're in a "triad".  So, let me ask, do you associate with other polys?  Are you involved in any sort of "Poly Scene"  You've had no problem giving yourself a title, but do you ever just say "I have two partners" and leave it at that?
Most of the people I see or read about involved in polyamory seem like attention whores.  Not saying you are, but curious, is it an actual lifestyle choice because it is natural?  Or are you involved in a scene?
 
2014-05-12 05:14:49 PM  
Trying to love two women is like a ball and chain
Trying to love two women is like a ball and chain
Sometimes the pleasure ain't worth the strain
It's a long old grind and it tires your mind
 
2014-05-12 05:15:39 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


How do you feel about double penetration?
 
2014-05-12 05:17:15 PM  

tripleseven: Actually, from any documentary etc on polyamory, the people involved with it should sap any sexiness right out of it.


NTTAWW Polyamory, do whatever you want.  But I will knock you the fark out if you make a pass at my fiancée.


I punch people when they compliment my car too so I get what you are saying.
 
2014-05-12 05:18:42 PM  

IamTomJoad: tripleseven: Actually, from any documentary etc on polyamory, the people involved with it should sap any sexiness right out of it.


NTTAWW Polyamory, do whatever you want.  But I will knock you the fark out if you make a pass at my fiancée.

I punch people when they compliment my car too so I get what you are saying.


Eh, you might if you thought they were trying to steal it.

/seems a bit on the touchy side, though
 
2014-05-12 05:19:37 PM  
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
 
2014-05-12 05:20:31 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


Did you expect reasonable, curious questions with people honestly trying to understand your life... from Fark?
 
2014-05-12 05:21:08 PM  

Bareefer Obonghit: What's your favorite Henny Youngman joke?



My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!
 
2014-05-12 05:21:12 PM  

IamTomJoad: tripleseven: Actually, from any documentary etc on polyamory, the people involved with it should sap any sexiness right out of it.


NTTAWW Polyamory, do whatever you want.  But I will knock you the fark out if you make a pass at my fiancée.

I punch people when they compliment my car too so I get what you are saying.


No, I am not some ITG or anything, and not even really violent.

My fiancée gets hit on all the time.  Sometimes even in my presence if they don't know she's with me.  Can't blame someone for trying.  However, if you know she's with me, and you try to pick her up or get her to do a foursome, prepare to swallow some teeth.

Me and Dottie are swingers!
 
2014-05-12 05:22:33 PM  

stratagos: theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.

Did you expect reasonable, curious questions with people honestly trying to understand your life... from Fark?


Do you think people in closed triads or quads are rare? You would be wrong.
 
2014-05-12 05:26:06 PM  

theotherwhitemeat: I'm in a poly relationship.  Its been 4 years, we are happy, healthy, professionals in a relationship. The only difference between us and other traditional relationships is that there are three of us M/F/F.  We are a closed triad, its just us.

Fire away with any questions.  I rather people ask questions than assume.


I've been poly for about 4 years too myself. Nice to meet another poly folk on here. But, im staying out of this thread. I could talk to death about how each poly relationship is different, but we seem to have a LOT of experts on how wrong we are for being poly. Wouldn't wanna disturb them from their vast intelligence.

That being said, I'm glad you are "taking one for the team" by being open enough to answer questions. and I'm being serious about this :)

/Happy poly person
 
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