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(YouTube)   There are thirty days until the World Cup begins, so it's time to ask the important question: Can the USA actually win it all?   (youtube.com) divider line 108
    More: Unlikely, World Cup, national team  
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470 clicks; posted to Sports » on 12 May 2014 at 5:25 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



108 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-12 02:09:15 PM  
That would be awesome.

The world would catch fire. You just think they hate us now!
 
2014-05-12 02:11:33 PM  
No. Next question.
 
2014-05-12 02:11:44 PM  
hmmm... we're in group G with germany.
 
2014-05-12 02:19:16 PM  
Nope.
 
2014-05-12 02:19:18 PM  
Considering the United States got about the worst group draw they could have possibly gotten, it's definitely going to be an uphill battle.

Even if they can avenge themselves and beat Ghana, they need at least one other win from either Germany or Portugal.

Ouch.
 
2014-05-12 02:20:36 PM  

FlashHarry: hmmm... we're in group G with germany.


It would be a major victory to win one game.

We are underdogs against Germany and Portugal; about even with Ghana.

Odds for US to win Group G are 12-1, and the World Cup is 150-1.
 
2014-05-12 02:43:54 PM  
Short answer: No
Long Answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
2014-05-12 02:44:11 PM  
Can they?  Sure - anything is within the realm of possibility.  Will they?  No.  Those 150-1 odds are generous.
 
2014-05-12 02:49:32 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: No. Next question.


ArkAngel: Nope.


strangeguitar: Short answer: No
Long Answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


You just need a different perspective.

imgace.com
 
2014-05-12 02:50:45 PM  
What would we do with another cup?  What we really need are more salad bowls that match the plates.
 
2014-05-12 02:54:47 PM  
If a bunch of hastily-constructed stadiums collapse during Spain-Netherlands and England-Italy, and a few riots unquelled by striking police result in the kidnapping of the German and Brazilian teams, sure.
 
2014-05-12 03:06:44 PM  
Um, yeah, Subby, I'll put that US World Cup Championship trophy up with the Cleveland Browns Super Bowl Trophy and the Chicago Cubs World Series ring.
 
2014-05-12 03:15:04 PM  
let's just hope the TV folks are more careful if there's a nigeria-germany matchup this time.
 
2014-05-12 03:24:43 PM  

syrynxx: What would we do with another cup?  What we really need are more salad bowls that match the plates.


Namibia needs fondue sets, maybe we could put a sterno under it and give it to them.
 
2014-05-12 03:27:29 PM  
World Cup?  I'm assuming this is some sort of beer competition for microbreweries?
 
2014-05-12 03:32:30 PM  
No, the important question is "how many people will die from collapsing stadiums?"

/A: Brazillians
 
2014-05-12 04:33:03 PM  
The USA will lose every game it plays. So no.
 
2014-05-12 05:26:56 PM  
Just getting more than 4 points in their group might be a successful tourney. If they get to elimination, look for things to never be the same!
 
2014-05-12 05:27:25 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: No, the important question is "how many people will die from collapsing stadiums?"

/A: Brazillians


How many zeros in a Brazilian?
 
2014-05-12 05:30:52 PM  
NONONONO.gif
 
2014-05-12 05:33:58 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: Um, yeah, Subby, I'll put that US World Cup Championship trophy up with the Cleveland Browns Super Bowl Trophy and the Chicago Cubs World Series ring.


The Browns with Johnny Football have better odds of winning the Super Bowl (75/1) than the US has in the World Cup.

For the US to win, they probably need to wire $10 million to Koman Coulibaly immediately.
 
2014-05-12 05:34:07 PM  
How about NO!
 
2014-05-12 05:39:52 PM  

syrynxx: What would we do with another cup?  What we really need are more salad bowls that match the plates.


We already have enough plates at Talledega restricting access
 
2014-05-12 05:42:02 PM  

syrynxx: What would we do with another cup?  What we really need are more salad bowls that match the plates.


It's funny because we registered for (and received) 12 of everything you can imagine. So each time we move I have to help pack and unpack 12 fancy dessert dishes. My blood pressure inches higher with each one.
 
2014-05-12 05:46:29 PM  

haemaker: FlashHarry: hmmm... we're in group G with germany.

It would be a major victory to win one game.

We are underdogs against Germany and Portugal; about even with Ghana.

Odds for US to win Group G are 12-1, and the World Cup is 150-1.


miamicarlins.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-12 05:49:40 PM  
no farking way.  isn't that what they said at Lake Placid?   When the usa hockey team was ranked well below the USSR, the Swedes, the Canadians, the Fins, the Norwegians, hell, even the damn Pollackian team was probably ranked above us.

sure there's a chance.  will it happen? probably not.  But, WTF, fark?  Do you believe in miracles?
 
2014-05-12 05:53:13 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Those 150-1 odds are generous.


I wouldn't put a nickel on them at 1500-1
 
2014-05-12 05:54:13 PM  
stir22:  Do you believe in miracles?


the only good thing about the USA losing to Canada in the hockey gold match a few years back was mankind being spared Al Michael's in no way contrived or pre-scripted "DO YOU *STILL* BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" call that you know he had locked and motherfarking loaded for a US win.

to the question, getting 4 points in the group would be a minor miracle.
 
2014-05-12 05:56:26 PM  

rickythepenguin: stir22:  Do you believe in miracles?


the only good thing about the USA losing to Canada in the hockey gold match a few years back was mankind being spared Al Michael's in no way contrived or pre-scripted "DO YOU *STILL* BELIEVE IN MIRACLES?  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" call that you know he had locked and motherfarking loaded for a US win.

to the question, getting 4 points in the group would be a minor miracle.


We can take 3 off of Ghana and 1 off of Portugal without too much mental gymnastics.

Keep in mind we have home hemisphere advantage and possible climate advantages.
 
2014-05-12 05:57:23 PM  
Shouldn't the question really be, how many players and people in the stands will be killed due to shoddy and rushed construction in Rio to try to get the venues done in the next 30 days?
 
2014-05-12 05:57:42 PM  
I find your collective lack of faith disturbing.

Anything can happen in three 90 minute games, seven if you make it all the way to the final.

I haven't seen the US doing this well since 2002.
 
2014-05-12 05:59:58 PM  
You are talking about soccer right?  Is that even a legit question?

I mean, if we equated it to the NCAA Basketball Tournament, are we putting a U.S. win at the level of like when Butler almost won it, or is it more like if Gulf Coast actually advanced past the Sweet 16 a few years ago and won the whole thing?
 
2014-05-12 06:00:56 PM  
I think if you put cash money on the USA to win it, the sports book should call Gamblers Anonymous immediately and you should be forcefully admitted to rehab. If you put that money on England, then they should also take away custody of your children.
 
2014-05-12 06:02:38 PM  

dittybopper: syrynxx: What would we do with another cup?  What we really need are more salad bowls that match the plates.

Namibia needs fondue sets, maybe we could put a sterno under it and give it to them.


That is about an obscure a reference to a non-obscure source as I'm likely to see this month on Fark. Good show, Mr. Mubutu!

They also need Water-Piks and toaster ovens.
 
2014-05-12 06:05:05 PM  

dletter: I mean, if we equated it to the NCAA Basketball Tournament, are we putting a U.S. win at the level of like when Butler almost won it, or is it more like if Gulf Coast actually advanced past the Sweet 16 a few years ago and won the whole thing?


More like 5 seed Butler than 8 seed Butler. It would be a surprise but not a shock to make the sweet sixteen (i.e. out of the group stage). It would be a tremendous shock to make the final.
 
2014-05-12 06:08:08 PM  
The US has even less chance than England and a slightly better chance than Scotland
 
2014-05-12 06:12:04 PM  

The Muthaship: Benevolent Misanthrope: Those 150-1 odds are generous.

I wouldn't put a nickel on them at 1500-1


Indeed, same here.  The problem with odds is they don't really reflect the actual chances.  They're merely set to make sure the house doesn't lose too much money.  They're basically set by the hearts of those betting.  So naturally in the USA, there are an irrational number of people betting on USA to win it all.

Its like when I go to Vegas, I always put $20 on my White Sox to win the World Series.  Its infinitesimal, but it technically sways the odds in an irrational manner.  Because trust me, the White Sox ain't winning the World Series anytime soon.
 
2014-05-12 06:14:28 PM  
We will defeat Ghana! Probably!
 
2014-05-12 06:14:36 PM  
37.media.tumblr.com
Murica. Fark yeah.
 
2014-05-12 06:15:00 PM  
Eh, it's soccer.  All it takes is one lucky goal in 90 minutes of play.  It's not that improbable, although doing it in at least 7 games does seem somewhat unlikely.
 
2014-05-12 06:16:20 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: We can take 3 off of Ghana and 1 off of Portugal without too much mental gymnastics.

Keep in mind we have home hemisphere advantage and possible climate advantages.


The other hope is that since they get Germany last, that Germany wins their first two games and thus has little to play for in the last game and plays some of the bench guys.  Of course, Germany's bench guys are also good.

But they really need a win and a draw from the first two matches, because it's unlikely they get through with 3 draws, and even if Germany has nothing to play for it's not likely that the US takes all 3 points in that one.  But if they're on 4 points going to the Germany match, a draw almost certainly sees them through.

And once you get to the knockout stages, while the US will obviously be at a talent deficiency to the Argentinas and Spains of the world, one rash tackle or idiot ref can swing a game pretty easily.
 
2014-05-12 06:20:18 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: If a bunch of hastily-constructed stadiums collapse during Spain-Netherlands and England-Italy, and a few riots unquelled by striking police result in the kidnapping of the German and Brazilian teams, sure.


Oddly enough, all of those seem at least slightly possible.
 
2014-05-12 06:22:49 PM  
Can the USA actually win it at all?

/Fixed typo
 
2014-05-12 06:28:36 PM  

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: Shouldn't the question really be, how many players and people in the stands will be killed due to shoddy and rushed construction in Rio to try to get the venues done in the next 30 days?


That depends, are we going to allow anybody from the Congo?  That's a guaranteed 15 people killed
 
2014-05-12 06:30:57 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: We can take 3 off of Ghana and 1 off of Portugal without too much mental gymnastics.



yeah, because we always play Ghana so well.

hey man, don't get me wrong, I want the US to wreck that ass.  but.....i think 4 points woudl be an accomplishment. ok, "minor miracle" is an overstatement on my part.  4 wouldn't shock, but, 4 problaby doesn't get us out of group, so what are we talking about?

wonder what Vegas' odds are re o/u for us points.  4.5.  5 is too much, 6 just la-la land, but 3 draws seems.....jeez.....  I say 4.5 but 3.5 wouldn't shock me.

i mean, come on man, Germany.  the Mannschaft, bro!
 
2014-05-12 06:31:10 PM  

Cybernetic: Mr. Coffee Nerves: If a bunch of hastily-constructed stadiums collapse during Spain-Netherlands and England-Italy, and a few riots unquelled by striking police result in the kidnapping of the German and Brazilian teams, sure.


Oddly enough, all of those seem at least slightly possible.


Eh, we'd still be screwed, that still leaves the Belgians, who are much more dangerous than this year's England outfit.
 
2014-05-12 06:34:20 PM  
Forget World Cup, the subway series starts tonight.
 
2014-05-12 06:38:39 PM  
Short answer, no. Long answer - with that defense? No.
 
2014-05-12 06:40:25 PM  
I can't wait to Positive and Toilet do one of these for each team. Courage.
 
2014-05-12 06:42:11 PM  
Strongest defender on the 30 man roster:

hdibonner.com
 
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