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(Fox News)   A lawyer used a device powered by a 1.5 volt battery to zap a witness who said that 1.5 volts couldn't be felt by a person, so of course he's been charged with battery   (foxnews.com) divider line 148
    More: Dumbass, jokes  
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10857 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2014 at 12:38 PM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-12 11:23:23 AM
But was he incapacitatored?
 
2014-05-12 11:30:44 AM
Shocking.
 
2014-05-12 11:50:36 AM
I have some fantastic toys that work with watch batteries
 
2014-05-12 11:59:34 AM
And of course the lawyer was going to ignore the fact that the pen boosted the voltage by a factor of hundreds! How in the world do lawyers even look at themselves in the mirror?
 
2014-05-12 12:03:59 PM

Delawheredad: And of course the lawyer was going to ignore the fact that the pen boosted the voltage by a factor of hundreds! How in the world do lawyers even look at themselves in the mirror?


Yeah, but it reduced the amperage by a factor of hundreds, so it all evens out!
 
2014-05-12 12:40:53 PM
Now, Battery, is that an A felony? or a AA?
 
2014-05-12 12:41:22 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Shocking.


Positively shocking!

/ GOOOOLDFINGER!

// that was a really good idea
 
2014-05-12 12:43:07 PM
Brady says Meliopoulos "received a strong electric shock" because the pen also contained a transformer that boosted the battery up to 750 volts.

That's re-volting!
 
2014-05-12 12:43:19 PM
ohm my god, he did not conduct himself in a very professional manner. i'm positive that this will have a negative outcome.

/and so on...
 
2014-05-12 12:43:26 PM
Fast, drunk and not knowing about amperage is no way to go through life, son.
 
2014-05-12 12:43:46 PM
Step up transformers. How do they work?
 
2014-05-12 12:44:27 PM
"Brady says Meliopoulos "received a strong electric shock" because the pen also contained a transformer that boosted the battery up to 750 volts."

Diary lawyer is a butte.
 
2014-05-12 12:44:31 PM

sandbar67: ohm my god, he did not conduct himself in a very professional manner. i'm positive that this will have a negative outcome.

/and so on...


he may encounter resistance in court to his defense.
 
2014-05-12 12:44:44 PM

JackieRabbit: Fast, drunk and not knowing about amperage is no way to go through life, son.


True, it's the amps that hertz.
 
2014-05-12 12:45:21 PM
That kind of revolting behavior seems like grounds for disbarment.
 
2014-05-12 12:45:39 PM
Some one should write an ode to this guy.
 
2014-05-12 12:46:18 PM

Savage Belief: Step up transformers. How do they work?


What step up transformers might look like:

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-12 12:46:34 PM

dittybopper: Delawheredad: And of course the lawyer was going to ignore the fact that the pen boosted the voltage by a factor of hundreds! How in the world do lawyers even look at themselves in the mirror?

Yeah, but it reduced the amperage by a factor of hundreds, so it all evens out!



Got one of these at the Spy Museum in DC. It's only 1.5 volts...but It'll still make you jump about a foot in the air.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ml4hRFJ9Ow
 
2014-05-12 12:46:35 PM
This isn't what I had in mind with regard to shock and awe.

It results in a lot of resistance.
 
2014-05-12 12:47:05 PM
Current events are so boring...
 
2014-05-12 12:47:16 PM
isn't there a code of conduct for lawyers?
 
2014-05-12 12:47:21 PM
while I'm begrudged to compliment a lawyer, 3000 is a drop in the bucket for such effective evidence and testimony from a witness that would do anything to not pay the defendant so good play.
 
2014-05-12 12:47:55 PM
I can only commend the scientific method and spirit of honest inquiry displayed by this lawyer. Why take a defendant or an expert at their word when you can test the hypothesis easily and cheaply.  Besides, it is always wise and good to keep the judge and jury awake and entertained.

I hope this demonstration will become part of the regular legal process.

Reminds me of a case from Texas where a lawyer asked the judge if she could hit her opponent with his brief. The judge saw no legal objection as the brief was the lawyer's to employ as she pleased, so she whacked her fellow legalist with it and no doubt felt better for it. Sometimes even Texas gets it right.
 
2014-05-12 12:49:05 PM

Yaw String: isn't there a code of conduct for lawyers?


were you able to write that sentence with a straight face?
 
2014-05-12 12:49:36 PM

Flragnararch: while I'm begrudged to compliment a lawyer, 3000 is a drop in the bucket for such effective evidence and testimony from a witness that would do anything to not pay the defendant so good play.


but 1.5 volts and 750 volts are two completely different things and his "evidence" is jack and shiat.
 
2014-05-12 12:49:53 PM

Flragnararch: Yaw String: isn't there a code of conduct for lawyers?

were you able to write that sentence with a straight face?


No
 
2014-05-12 12:50:10 PM

JarynFrostwing: Now, Battery, is that an A felony? or a AA?


AAA.
OH! you mean the 1.5V battery, not the level the lawyer was playing?
 
2014-05-12 12:50:44 PM
gave a child's gag pen to Meliopoulos, told him it contained a 1.5-volt AAA battery and challenged him to push it.

I dunno. He didn't hold him down and shock him with it. He dared him to do it and he was dumb enough to accept. I actually find it amusing.
 
2014-05-12 12:51:04 PM
The only problem I had with TFA article is the flow of the story, it goes from positive to negative.  It should be the opposite....
 
2014-05-12 12:51:43 PM
...1.5 volts couldn't be felt by a person.

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

ELECTRICITY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!
 
2014-05-12 12:51:53 PM
No one citing case law? Ohm's law?
Dissapoint.
 
2014-05-12 12:52:06 PM
He should appeal to the circuit court.
 
2014-05-12 12:53:03 PM

cannotsuggestaname: Flragnararch: while I'm begrudged to compliment a lawyer, 3000 is a drop in the bucket for such effective evidence and testimony from a witness that would do anything to not pay the defendant so good play.

but 1.5 volts and 750 volts are two completely different things and his "evidence" is jack and shiat.


uh, no. They are two of the very same things.
 
2014-05-12 12:53:16 PM
Did the witness get any of that money?
 
2014-05-12 12:53:51 PM
The lawyer is facing consequences because of his conduct?  He needs to defer to the judge, resistance is futile.
 
2014-05-12 12:54:02 PM
without thumbs, how will the cows use those pens ??
 
2014-05-12 12:55:29 PM
The judge was a tad short with him.
 
2014-05-12 12:55:31 PM
1.5V nothing, you can operate the world's most advanced AI on only 1.1V.

img4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-05-12 12:55:36 PM

Savage Belief: Step up transformers. How do they work?


Transformers only work on Alternating Current. This thing would have to have used a DC-DC convertor.
 
2014-05-12 12:56:14 PM
They need to throw him in a cell.  Dry cell, wet cell: it doesn't matter.

/...and I'm spent.
 
2014-05-12 12:56:54 PM
I expected the charge to be dropped by a circuit judge.
 
2014-05-12 12:58:40 PM
After court the lawyer went to the Buzz Bar.
 
2014-05-12 12:58:40 PM
It might not have been a legally advisable thing to do, but it certainly had shock value.
 
2014-05-12 01:02:37 PM

Doubleodoug: cannotsuggestaname: Flragnararch: while I'm begrudged to compliment a lawyer, 3000 is a drop in the bucket for such effective evidence and testimony from a witness that would do anything to not pay the defendant so good play.

but 1.5 volts and 750 volts are two completely different things and his "evidence" is jack and shiat.

uh, no. They are two of the very same things.


Well, technically, they are 751.5 of the same things...
 
2014-05-12 01:05:34 PM
Brady says Meliopoulos "received a strong electric shock" because the pen also contained a transformer that boosted the battery up to 750 volts.

kokomo61: Got one of these at the Spy Museum in DC. It's only 1.5 volts...but It'll still make you jump about a foot in the air.


Does your pen really contain a battery?

All the shockers I've seen work from a piezoelectric crystal that when struck produces high voltage. That is why the nub on pen has to be firmly pressed until it click/snaps to strike the crystal.

gum: http://www.amazon.com/Shocking-Funny-Shock-Random-Color/dp/B000MLHFCS
pen: http://www.amazon.com/shock-pen-GET-Shock-Pens/dp/B000TTNW98

If this is what the lawyer used then that's some seriously bad reporting + it destroys the "battery" joke.
 
2014-05-12 01:06:19 PM

Doubleodoug: uh, no. They are two of the very same things


You should go read up on Ohm's Law, then come back here and tell us what it means.
 
2014-05-12 01:06:33 PM

vudukungfu: No one citing case law? Ohm's law?
Dissapoint.


Ohm's law of 1827
V(i)(R) the current through a conductor between two points is directly proportional to the potential difference across the two points.
 
2014-05-12 01:06:35 PM
And, of course, the dairy farmers are going to win in the court of public opinion because the headlines are going to say that their lawyer zapped the expert with 1.5 volts and not 750 volts, as he actually did.
 
2014-05-12 01:07:53 PM

error 303: Some one should write an ode to this guy.


Watt you did there. Ikcelectronics.com it.
 
2014-05-12 01:07:56 PM
Good explanation of amps vs. volts, and what's dangerous and at what quantities, here:

http://www.allaboutcircuits.com/vol_1/chpt_3/4.html
 
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