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(Independent)   Fifteen people die in stampede at soccer game in Congo. Just to put that into perspective, 15 people die at pretty much everything in the Congo - weddings, birthday parties, train trips - there will be a double-digit death toll when the dust settles   (independent.co.uk) divider line 31
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884 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2014 at 10:59 AM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-12 09:11:03 AM  
There I was, there I was, there I was, in the Congo...

Seriously, been there. It sucks. Unless you like flying pests like mosquitoes and bullets that is.
 
2014-05-12 11:01:55 AM  
Bingo bango bongo
 
2014-05-12 11:06:55 AM  
Isn't 15 already double-digits?
 
2014-05-12 11:07:33 AM  
Congo forever has a place on my list of Appalling Hellholes to Which I Am Largely Indifferent. Until they stop the raping, killing and gorilla consuming, say.
 
2014-05-12 11:08:54 AM  

rzrwiresunrise: Isn't 15 already double-digits?


It is, but that didn't stop  subby.
 
2014-05-12 11:12:12 AM  

Grumpy Cat: rzrwiresunrise: Isn't 15 already double-digits?

It is, but that didn't stop  subby.


Huh, apparently some people are having trouble parsing the headline.

/not subby
 
2014-05-12 11:12:59 AM  

Grumpy Cat: rzrwiresunrise: Isn't 15 already double-digits?

It is, but that didn't stop  subby.


Or the admin who greened this.

By the way--I normally don't say this, but this headline was astoundingly bad.  Was it greenlit for us to make fun of?
 
2014-05-12 11:13:30 AM  
This is why you sould never join a Conga line
 
2014-05-12 11:14:40 AM  
Damn you H key!
 
2014-05-12 11:14:53 AM  

czetie: Grumpy Cat: rzrwiresunrise: Isn't 15 already double-digits?

It is, but that didn't stop  subby.

Huh, apparently some people are having trouble parsing the headline.

/not subby


Yeah... I get what it was saying. It was two separate thoughts:
15 die in stampede. STOP.
Pretty much everything has a death toll in the double digits in Congo. STOP.
 
2014-05-12 11:17:26 AM  
English motherfarker. Do you speak it?
 
2014-05-12 11:23:00 AM  

Nix Nightbird: czetie: Grumpy Cat: rzrwiresunrise: Isn't 15 already double-digits?

It is, but that didn't stop  subby.

Huh, apparently some people are having trouble parsing the headline.

/not subby

Yeah... I get what it was saying. It was two separate thoughts:
15 die in stampede. STOP.
Pretty much everything has a death toll in the double digits in Congo. STOP.


I guess some of our cofarkers aren't as good at understanding irony as they like to think. I kinda liked it, but apparently I'm in a small minority. Again.
 
2014-05-12 11:34:55 AM  

IAmYourBrainOnDrugs: Grumpy Cat: rzrwiresunrise: Isn't 15 already double-digits?

It is, but that didn't stop  subby.

Or the admin who greened this.

By the way--I normally don't say this, but this headline was astoundingly bad.  Was it greenlit for us to make fun of?


I understood it just fine. If you notice the period delineating the two separate sentences, you shouldn't have any problems.
 
2014-05-12 11:38:47 AM  

jxb465: IAmYourBrainOnDrugs: Grumpy Cat: rzrwiresunrise: Isn't 15 already double-digits?

It is, but that didn't stop  subby.

Or the admin who greened this.

By the way--I normally don't say this, but this headline was astoundingly bad.  Was it greenlit for us to make fun of?

I understood it just fine. If you notice the period delineating the two separate sentences, you shouldn't have any problems.


If one wanted to be utterly pedantic, one might ask that the second dash be a colon. But either way, yes, it's not that complicated.
 
2014-05-12 11:45:07 AM  
But was a headless Thompson gunner involved?
 
2014-05-12 11:52:30 AM  
I had a friend that went to West Africa (I forget which countries exactly, Liberia or somesuch) for some kind of charity work, she attended a soccer game at which one family accused another of digging up and eating their dead newborn infant to gain political advantage in an upcoming election, inciting a brawl that left four people dead.  I told her that if she's that desperate to assuage her white liberal guilt she doesn't need to travel farther than the closest food bank AND she'll be helping people that at least express interest in not acting like animals.
 
2014-05-12 11:53:17 AM  
Perfectly cromulant headline:

Fifteen people die in stampede at soccer game in Congo. Just to put that into perspective, 15 people die at pretty much everything in the Congo - weddings, birthday parties, train trips - there will be a double-digit death toll when the dust settles

What a few Farkers seem to have read

Fifteen people die in stampede at soccer game in Congo. There will be a double-digit death toll when the dust settles

Get it together, you guys, sheesh.
 
2014-05-12 12:07:57 PM  

KidKorporate: I had a friend that went to West Africa (I forget which countries exactly, Liberia or somesuch) for some kind of charity work, she attended a soccer game at which one family accused another of digging up and eating their dead newborn infant to gain political advantage in an upcoming election, inciting a brawl that left four people dead.  I told her that if she's that desperate to assuage her white liberal guilt she doesn't need to travel farther than the closest food bank AND she'll be helping people that at least express interest in not acting like animals.


I'm pretty sure eating a dead newborn infant is still a firm requirement to running for the Tea Party.
 
2014-05-12 12:16:39 PM  
Chicago .. Congo .. what's the difference?
 
2014-05-12 12:16:54 PM  
Stupid Subby, they don't have working trains anymore!
 
2014-05-12 12:20:13 PM  

jxb465: IAmYourBrainOnDrugs: Grumpy Cat: rzrwiresunrise: Isn't 15 already double-digits?

It is, but that didn't stop  subby.

Or the admin who greened this.

By the way--I normally don't say this, but this headline was astoundingly bad.  Was it greenlit for us to make fun of?

I understood it just fine. If you notice the period delineating the two separate sentences, you shouldn't have any problems.


OK. Yes. I get it. It's still a bad headline. Too wordy.
 
2014-05-12 12:21:58 PM  
A Dothraki wedding Congan soccer match without at least 3 deaths is considered a dull affair.

youdressoryoudie.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-12 12:26:15 PM  
Thanks, Fartcongo.
 
2014-05-12 01:29:07 PM  

KidKorporate: I had a friend that went to West Africa (I forget which countries exactly, Liberia or somesuch) for some kind of charity work, she attended a soccer game at which one family accused another of digging up and eating their dead newborn infant to gain political advantage in an upcoming election, inciting a brawl that left four people dead.  I told her that if she's that desperate to assuage her white liberal guilt she doesn't need to travel farther than the closest food bank AND she'll be helping people that at least express interest in not acting like animals.


Some people never really left the 2nd century.
 
2014-05-12 01:45:51 PM  
You have to hand it to them, they're not going about it half assed.  We can't even kill that many people domestically with a captive audience aka school shooting.
 
2014-05-12 02:04:33 PM  
Notice how the racist media doesn't mention the colour of the people.
 
2014-05-12 03:12:16 PM  
Why do they even allow fans to attend soccer games any more? Is there a time when they don't have riots, arson, murders etc etc at a game?
 
2014-05-12 03:54:43 PM  

Valiente: Congo forever has a place on my list of Appalling Hellholes to Which I Am Largely Indifferent. Until they stop the raping, killing and gorilla consuming, say.


What if they attempted to rape gorillas. You'd not click that link?
 
2014-05-12 04:40:39 PM  
Why can''t they just stay at home and die from prescription drug abuse like we do in the west?
 
2014-05-13 03:21:59 AM  

Slaxl: Perfectly cromulant headline:

Fifteen people die in stampede at soccer game in Congo. Just to put that into perspective, 15 people die at pretty much everything in the Congo - weddings, birthday parties, train trips - there will be a double-digit death toll when the dust settles

What a few Farkers seem to have read

Fifteen people die in stampede at soccer game in Congo. There will be a double-digit death toll when the dust settles

Get it together, you guys, sheesh.


It's not that people didn't get it, it's that the "joke" was belabored and fell flat. It seems to have also (accidentally?) mixed "15 people die at" with "there will be a double-digit death toll" when one or the other was intended, confusing readers into wondering which statement to attach the end to.

Tighten that shiat up.
 
2014-05-13 03:34:07 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: You have to hand it to them, they're not going about it half assed.  We can't even kill that many people domestically with a captive audience aka school shooting.


They die super easy. They are the North American buffalo of humans.
/No part wasted
 
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