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(Metro)   Hey fatass, next time you think it's a chore to go to the refrigerator to get a beer, this guy at 104 just set the record for the 100m   (metro.co.uk) divider line 52
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5625 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2014 at 12:11 AM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-11 11:51:10 PM
No he didn't.

It's not a record if you're the only one in the category. It's a default.
 
2014-05-12 12:13:26 AM
Never seeing a doctor will let me live to 104?
Thanks Obama?
 
2014-05-12 12:17:17 AM
The grandfather, who was competing during the Youth Olympics in Wroclaw, Poland, only began running 12 years ago.
metrouk2.files.wordpress.com

www.geekalerts.com
 
v15
2014-05-12 12:17:48 AM
farking poles always running lightning fast like it's 1939
 
2014-05-12 12:18:59 AM
Go to the fridge for a beer?  Don't mind if I do.
 
2014-05-12 12:21:07 AM
Did he get a beer at the end of the race? If not, I'm still ahead.
 
2014-05-12 12:22:55 AM
You don't want to see his six-pack.
 
2014-05-12 12:25:17 AM

jtown: Go to the fridge for a beer?  Don't mind if I do.


you mind grabbing me one?  I'm still tired from getting the last round.
 
2014-05-12 12:26:39 AM
Faster than Usain Bolt?

HOLY shiat!
 
2014-05-12 12:29:27 AM
So he walked a hundred meters. How is that a record?
 
2014-05-12 12:29:56 AM
That's "Phatahs".
 
2014-05-12 12:30:38 AM
Mini fridge under computer desk for beer storage. Nowhere to run to, baby.
 
2014-05-12 12:39:45 AM
If I can walk 100 meters when I'm 104 I'll be damn happy!
 
2014-05-12 12:40:56 AM
Fine then he can go get it he's in better shape anyways.
 
2014-05-12 12:44:22 AM
He shouldn't stray so far from his fridge if he wants a beer.
 
2014-05-12 12:49:01 AM
bradjudd.files.wordpress.com

His twin brother, who went down the beer-in-fridge route.
 
2014-05-12 12:53:28 AM
Hold this for me.
 
2014-05-12 12:57:57 AM
Mandlebaum !
Mandlebaum !
Mandlebaum !
 
2014-05-12 01:00:32 AM
A 104-year-old man has set a European record for the 100m, becoming the oldest person to complete it.
Stanisław Kowalski is eight years older than the previous record holder and ran the distance more than a second faster, crossing the line in 32.79 seconds.


Wtf?? So no Europeans has ever ran a sub 30 second 100 meters?? EuroSlackers.
 
2014-05-12 01:00:52 AM
Of course he is 104 so whatever he does is excellent. I'm just having trouble with the math. 100 meters is 1/16 of a mile. He did 32 seconds. A good high school track team member should be able to do a quarter mile in one minute... the pace of the 4-minute mile. So he's half that mark for one quarter the distance, so half that speed, which is excellent.
 
2014-05-12 01:03:04 AM
funnyasduck.net
 
2014-05-12 01:05:30 AM
ilarge.listal.com

Unimpressed
 
2014-05-12 01:18:49 AM
I may have a fat ass, but does the uppity "Mr 104" have a kegorator next to his computer desk?

Game/Set/Match.
 
2014-05-12 01:25:10 AM

zzrhardy: I may have a fat ass, but does the uppity "Mr 104" have a kegorator next to his computer desk?

Game/Set/Match.


When you've taken the time to set the kegerator up next to your desk cirrhosis may play a factor in your demise.  At least I try to pretend that I don't have a problem by making myself actually walk to the kitchen.  ;)
 
2014-05-12 01:29:12 AM

sethen320: zzrhardy: I may have a fat ass, but does the uppity "Mr 104" have a kegorator next to his computer desk?

Game/Set/Match.

When you've taken the time to set the kegerator up next to your desk cirrhosis may play a factor in your demise.  At least I try to pretend that I don't have a problem by making myself actually walk to the kitchen.  ;)


All winter long I kept a handle of vodka within arm's reach of my keyboard. So there.
 
2014-05-12 01:31:36 AM
What*burp*ever.

/Cracks open another cold one
 
2014-05-12 01:41:43 AM
These articles always ask the old person "tips" on how to live a long time.
Because otherwise they wouldn't have much of an article at all.
 
2014-05-12 01:44:29 AM

The One True TheDavid: sethen320: zzrhardy: I may have a fat ass, but does the uppity "Mr 104" have a kegorator next to his computer desk?

Game/Set/Match.

When you've taken the time to set the kegerator up next to your desk cirrhosis may play a factor in your demise.  At least I try to pretend that I don't have a problem by making myself actually walk to the kitchen.  ;)

All winter long I kept a handle of vodka within arm's reach of my keyboard. So there.


One handle of vodka? "All winter long" must have been a half-hour total.
 
2014-05-12 01:44:43 AM

GungFu: [bradjudd.files.wordpress.com image 370x461]

His twin brother, who went down the beer-in-fridge route.


Stopped by to ensure this was covered. Well done!
 
2014-05-12 01:48:22 AM
I will lift weights all day long. However, if you see me running, you should probably run too. Me + Running = Zombie Apocalypse, Alien Invasion, or a Snake. If I make it to 104 and will be perving on young hotties and claiming dementia or general "old lady priveledge". Screw running a marathon. (Don't like beer. Pass the Rum.)
 
2014-05-12 01:48:58 AM

Fire Babe: I will lift weights all day long. However, if you see me running, you should probably run too. Me + Running = Zombie Apocalypse, Alien Invasion, or a Snake. If I make it to 104 and will be perving on young hotties and claiming dementia or general "old lady priveledge". Screw running a marathon. (Don't like beer. Pass the Rum.)


Damn that should say "I will be perving".
 
2014-05-12 01:50:15 AM

The One True TheDavid: sethen320: zzrhardy: I may have a fat ass, but does the uppity "Mr 104" have a kegorator next to his computer desk?

Game/Set/Match.

When you've taken the time to set the kegerator up next to your desk cirrhosis may play a factor in your demise.  At least I try to pretend that I don't have a problem by making myself actually walk to the kitchen.  ;)

All winter long I kept a handle of vodka within arm's reach of my keyboard. So there.


Alcohol==programming fuel.
 
2014-05-12 01:50:15 AM

Begoggle: These articles always ask the old person "tips" on how to live a long time.
Because otherwise they wouldn't have much of an article at all.


Learn the one weird secret doctors don't want you to know about aging!
 
2014-05-12 01:55:36 AM

Emposter: Begoggle: These articles always ask the old person "tips" on how to live a long time.
Because otherwise they wouldn't have much of an article at all.

Learn the one weird secret doctors don't want you to know about aging!


YOU DIDNT GIVE ME A LINK ASSHOLE!!!!
 
2014-05-12 02:02:57 AM

v15: farking poles always running lightning fast like it's 1939


He was there.  Just too old to compete.

To see how far medicine has advanced, the mortality table for 104 year olds (number of years  remaining)  has not changed since 1939.  Or 1839.
 
2014-05-12 02:09:06 AM
32 seconds?  I bet I could beat that.
 
2014-05-12 02:14:20 AM

Prof. Frink: The One True TheDavid:

All winter long I kept a handle of vodka within arm's reach of my keyboard. So there.

One handle of vodka? "All winter long" must have been a half-hour total.


Of course it wasn't the same jug. When one emptied I bought another. And so on. I forget how many handles it took, but one lasts about 10 days unless I'm somehow traumatized (such as when the CIA tries to control my dreams).


IK,IK,IHBT.
 
2014-05-12 02:14:42 AM
DNA is a hell of a drug.
 
2014-05-12 02:25:28 AM
I think I'm going to time how long it takes me to walk 100 metres, and see how that compares to this guy.
 
2014-05-12 03:01:18 AM
"He claimed he was in such good condition because he never went to see the doctor and had done anything that pleased him."

If this is good advice, I will live forever.
 
2014-05-12 03:10:14 AM

tbeatty: v15: farking poles always running lightning fast like it's 1939

He was there.  Just too old to compete.

To see how far medicine has advanced, the mortality table for 104 year olds (number of years  remaining)  has not changed since 1939.  Or 1839.


Yeah, but in both of those years there was probably a sample size of about two.

You know what I beat this guy at?  Being able to reliably buy underripe bananas.
 
2014-05-12 03:32:24 AM
7 miles per hour.
 
2014-05-12 03:37:18 AM
Always a good day to insult people on fark I guess.
 
2014-05-12 05:15:07 AM
On what planet is it a chore to go to the fridge for a beer, Stubbie?

/Aussie joke. Beeerp.
 
2014-05-12 05:50:13 AM
"He claimed he was in such good condition because he never went to see the doctor and had done anything that pleased him."

Yep, guess I'll be living to at least 104.
 
2014-05-12 06:08:40 AM
That's why I store bottles of beer in my fat rolls, subby. I don't have to get up that way.

/but the beer is warm
 
2014-05-12 06:18:35 AM

kortex: Always a good day to insult people on fark I guess.


It's a good day.
 
2014-05-12 09:57:30 AM

FarkinGoofy: If I can walk 100 meters when I'm 104 I'll be damn happy!


Hell, I'll be damn happy to can MAKE IT to 104!!!
 
2014-05-12 10:07:17 AM
Dude barely looks a day over 70.
 
2014-05-12 10:19:06 AM
lets see how good he is at outrunning polar bear hunters.
 
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