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(Page Six)   Well between depression, weed, and books on monks and vasectomies, I had to cut me penis off   (pagesix.com) divider line 80
    More: Followup, vasectomies, Wu Tang Clan, Northstar  
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5965 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2014 at 7:21 PM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-11 06:23:29 PM
That would tend to make me more depressed.
 
2014-05-11 06:45:19 PM
He's British now?
 
2014-05-11 07:24:27 PM
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
 
2014-05-11 07:27:05 PM

Snarfangel: That would tend to make me more depressed.


global3.memecdn.com
 
2014-05-11 07:27:19 PM
Is that two different books, or is there some connection between monks and vasectomy?
 
2014-05-11 07:27:52 PM
Errrrr, that's never the answer, dude...
 
2014-05-11 07:27:55 PM
I like how we now blame mental health crisis on the weed.
 
2014-05-11 07:27:58 PM
Well,.... That was FARKING STUPID.
 
2014-05-11 07:29:28 PM

fusillade762: He's British now?


No, he's the farking Wu Tang.

(I have no idea what that means.)
 
2014-05-11 07:31:15 PM

farkingismybusiness: Snarfangel: That would tend to make me more depressed.

[global3.memecdn.com image 720x252]


Also know as the man with no money...Same Same

People are so profoundly stupid that it is not possible for the species to non murder each other, and will give all to people that have no intelligence.
 
2014-05-11 07:31:34 PM
"Johnson's penis was reattached by plastic surgeons and it's fully operational again, the rap artist said. "

img4.wikia.nocookie.net

"You may fire when ready."
 
2014-05-11 07:37:36 PM
I've pretty much spent my entire life lonely and depressed, and it never once occurred to me to cut my penis off.
 
2014-05-11 07:37:50 PM

Bathysphere: I like how we now blame mental health crisis on the weed.


Well, with the whole legalization thing gaining steam we need even more ridiculous and outlandish scare mongering. It only makes sense.
 
2014-05-11 07:39:13 PM

dv-ous: fusillade762: He's British now?

No, he's the farking Wu Tang.

(I have no idea what that means.)


They ain't nuthin' ta fark wit'
 
2014-05-11 07:41:04 PM
1) Who would admit this?
2) How do I get to be so famous that turning my Tu Wang into a Clam doesn't fark my life up?
 
2014-05-11 07:41:28 PM

UberNeuman: "Johnson's penis was reattached by plastic surgeons and it's fully operational again, the rap artist said. "

[img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 318x318]

"You may fire when ready."

http://pagesix.com/2014/04/17/doctors-unable-to-reattach-rappers-pen is /


How were they able to attach it after they announced they couldn't put it back on? Don't they have a shelf life after they have been removed?
 
2014-05-11 07:41:56 PM
I was just thinking about the situation in Venezuela and those kidnapped Nigerian girls and before I knew it my severed balls were in my hands.
 
2014-05-11 07:45:17 PM
They probably shouldn't have reattached it; that'll only encourage him to do it again.
 
2014-05-11 07:47:00 PM
Can I get a Nu Wang!
 
2014-05-11 07:50:41 PM

Hz so good: dv-ous: fusillade762: He's British now?

No, he's the farking Wu Tang.

(I have no idea what that means.)

They ain't nuthin' ta fark wit'


He nearly had nuthin' to fark wit'
 
2014-05-11 07:51:12 PM
Wu Tang affiliated? What does that mean?
 
2014-05-11 07:51:40 PM
19 posts and not this yet? For shame, farkers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4&feature=kp
 
2014-05-11 07:51:56 PM

stuhayes2010: Wu Tang affiliated? What does that mean?


He can't change to the WCW or WWE without fighting the Undertaker.
 
db2
2014-05-11 07:53:00 PM
For some reason, I can only internalize that headline as being spoken by Eric Idle or Benny Hill.
 
2014-05-11 07:54:42 PM

Repo Man: I've pretty much spent my entire life lonely and depressed, and it never once occurred to me to cut my penis off.


this. ever. what the fark, I'm using it.
 
2014-05-11 07:56:13 PM

UberNeuman: "Johnson's penis was reattached by plastic surgeons and it's fully operational again, the rap artist said. "

[img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 318x318]

"You may fire when ready."


That is a shabby misappropriation of Peter Cushing!!

*smacks you with glove*
 
2014-05-11 07:56:40 PM
also...

i148.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-11 07:58:19 PM

Repo Man: I've pretty much spent my entire life lonely and depressed, and it never once occurred to me to cut my penis off.


Yup, I mean we have had our share of fist fights but it has never escalated to me pullin a knife on the little guy....
 
2014-05-11 08:01:16 PM
img2.wikia.nocookie.net

At least he wasn't inspired by Game of Thrones.
 
2014-05-11 08:08:07 PM
I think he either grossly misunderstood the part about vasectomies, or tried to do one while way too high, and got it wrong.
 
2014-05-11 08:15:33 PM

cyberspacedout: I think he either grossly misunderstood the part about vasectomies, or tried to do one while way too high, and got it wrong.


from the article  clutchcargo2002linked above:

           Johnson was not on drugs at the time of the incident, although they told the website they believed he may have mental issues

so probably less misunderstood and more batshiat insanity
 
2014-05-11 08:17:02 PM
A bad combo of depression, weed CRYSTAL METH

/not even 1nce
 
2014-05-11 08:17:49 PM

Bathysphere: I like how we now blame mental health crisis on the weed.


Mentalpatient87: Bathysphere: I like how we now blame mental health crisis on the weed.

Well, with the whole legalization thing gaining steam we need even more ridiculous and outlandish scare mongering. It only makes sense.



There are clear and proven links between cannabis use and psychosis.  Smoke your weed all the live long day, I don't care.  I've been there.

But let's not pretend it is completely harmless.
 
2014-05-11 08:17:57 PM
He can blame it on whatever the fark he wants to, the only "reason" to cut your dick off is crazy.  End of story.

Now go get help.
 
2014-05-11 08:19:26 PM

dv-ous: fusillade762: He's British now?

No, he's the farking Wu Tang.

(I have no idea what that means.)


First, he was like:

WuTang

Then he was like:

Wu

Now he's like:

Wu:Tang
 
2014-05-11 08:29:49 PM

born_yesterday: He can blame it on whatever the fark he wants to, the only "reason" to cut your dick off is crazy.  End of story.

Now go get help.


Nicely put.
 
2014-05-11 08:29:54 PM
Your only value in life is your sexual organs. They are your only means of happiness and fulfillment. Everybody knows that.
 
2014-05-11 08:30:58 PM
Da Mysteries Of Dick Choppin'.
 
2014-05-11 08:34:44 PM
Dammit doc! Why'd you go and re attach his penis? Now if he reproduces further its on you, doc.... And we all know that some Wu Tang douche who is dumb enough to brainwash himself into cutting off his penis doesn't need to reproduce. Very eager to see how his existing offspring turn out.....
 
2014-05-11 08:38:18 PM
www.lolwtfcomics.com
 
2014-05-11 08:39:42 PM
img.fark.net

Well, if Raekwon could replace an amputated hand, he could....... you see where I'm going with this one. 'Man With The Iron Dick'?
 
2014-05-11 08:41:02 PM

Mad_Radhu: [img2.wikia.nocookie.net image 515x287]

At least he wasn't inspired by Game of Thrones.


He has twenty digits and a tongue. He can still serve well.

/haven't read the books
 
2014-05-11 08:45:00 PM
I wish I had enough weed to make me even consider wanting to vasectomize myself. I did a quick back of envelope calculation and about seven metric tons of weed would make me consider it. The answer would be no!
 
2014-05-11 08:45:25 PM

Bathysphere: I like how we now blame mental health crisis on the weed.


Heavy pot use is often a sign of self-medication for mental illness.
 
2014-05-11 08:46:37 PM

Repo Man: I've pretty much spent my entire life lonely and depressed, and it never once occurred to me to cut my penis off.


I should buy you a drink. You sound like my twin.
 
2014-05-11 08:48:25 PM
Don't see him getting to visit his daughters any time soon.
 
2014-05-11 08:51:22 PM
You can't write anything that would make me understand cutting off your own penis.
 
2014-05-11 08:52:52 PM

Repo Man: I've pretty much spent my entire life lonely and depressed, and it never once occurred to me to cut my penis off.



There are many lonely, depressed men with their penis still attached. It really makes one think.
 
2014-05-11 08:58:58 PM

clutchcargo2002: UberNeuman: "Johnson's penis was reattached by plastic surgeons and it's fully operational again, the rap artist said. "

[img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 318x318]

"You may fire when ready."

http://pagesix.com/2014/04/17/doctors-unable-to-reattach-rappers-pen is /

How were they able to attach it after they announced they couldn't put it back on? Don't they have a shelf life after they have been removed?


I think TMZ was the only outlet reporting that, so it may have been off.  Or he's lying.  So here's another bullshiat site with his side of the story:

http://www.mstarz.com/articles/30424/20140511/wu-tang-rapper-andre-j oh nson-gets-his-penis-reattached-after-doctor-said-it-was-impossible-rev eal-what-lead-him-to-bizarre-act.htm

I sincerely doubt less than a month after an injury like that that he's back to "full functionality" so he's probably lying, but maybe they managed to save part of it.
 
2014-05-11 09:03:52 PM
I an I 'ad tu cut me penis off? Dafuq?
 
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