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(Slate)   Of all the horrible things you've done to your mother over the years, none are as terrible as the fact when you were an embryo, you were basically a parasite that sucked out all her blood and nutrients. Yes, it's a Feminist Mother's Day apology   (slate.com) divider line 153
    More: Fail, Mother's Day, gestational diabetes, embryos  
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5847 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2014 at 8:11 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



153 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-11 07:18:03 PM  
Oh for fark's sake, someone get a pillow and smother Salon for their own good.
 
2014-05-11 07:18:38 PM  

Mentat: Oh for fark's sake, someone get a pillow and smother Salon for their own good.


Or Slate.  Both.  Whichever.
 
2014-05-11 07:24:56 PM  
I don't know about the rest of you but I certainly made the conscious choice to invade an unsuspecting woman and mooch off her for nine months. She never knew what hit her!
 
2014-05-11 07:51:57 PM  
Subby, I think it's time you learned the definition of the phrase "tongue in cheek"
 
2014-05-11 07:52:27 PM  
I have no doubt that there are some people who feel this way, and I sure hope they don't have children, but that does not mean they are reasonable people that anyone would listen to.
 
2014-05-11 08:14:59 PM  
I don't think she's being serious...well, ok., I HOPE she is not being serious because that article is actually quite funny.

/or I'm very very wicked, one of the two.
 
2014-05-11 08:16:35 PM  
I wasn't a rape-baby.  Slut should have kept her legs together.
 
2014-05-11 08:16:36 PM  
Subby, you need to learn what "satire" means. It's funny.

/but long-winded
 
2014-05-11 08:20:09 PM  
It doesn't stop with the embryo stage, lil farkers suck the blood out of you all the way through college.....

/mine got his doctorate, so the leaching was extended, he better put me in a retirement home with gold plated bedpans
 
2014-05-11 08:20:38 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-11 08:23:19 PM  
This was absurd and retarded. My IQ dropped a couple points while reading it. Why, first of all, would one apologize for doing something that was completely out of their control? That would be like a survivor from a 9-11 plane crash apologizing for the attacks in the first place. Plus, our parents knew what they were in for when they got knocked up, so it's really their fault.
 
2014-05-11 08:25:00 PM  

Mentat: Mentat: Oh for fark's sake, someone get a pillow and smother Salon for their own good.

Or Slate.  Both.  Whichever.


Both works for me.
 
2014-05-11 08:25:02 PM  
 
2014-05-11 08:26:04 PM  

Mentat: Mentat: Oh for fark's sake, someone get a pillow and smother Salon for their own good.

Or Slate.  Both.  Whichever.


Both works.
 
2014-05-11 08:27:47 PM  
She made me on purpose. Her fault.

/My brother was an accident.
//My other brother was a disaster.
 
2014-05-11 08:29:43 PM  

Pribar: It doesn't stop with the embryo stage, lil farkers suck the blood out of you all the way through college.....

/mine got his doctorate, so the leaching was extended, he better put me in a retirement home with gold plated bedpans


Haha I know what you mean. In my case, I never mooched off my folks and paid my own way through college. I suppose when my folks get old enough i may go halvsies with em on a cheap old folks home..... But that's the best i can do.
 
2014-05-11 08:29:45 PM  
What a moron.
 
2014-05-11 08:31:05 PM  
I assume this should have the satire tag?  Or is the writer really that big of a moron?
 
2014-05-11 08:32:43 PM  
Too cute by zygote.
 
2014-05-11 08:32:54 PM  
I did make a point recently of apologising to my mother for my entire childhood and teenage years. Poor bastard didnt do anything to deserve a kid like me.
 
2014-05-11 08:33:42 PM  
Yeah, I was always stealing her heroin, too.
Like Jesus.
 
2014-05-11 08:35:19 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-11 08:36:46 PM  
pooboy.com
 
2014-05-11 08:38:14 PM  

Typhoid: Subby, you need to learn what "satire" means. It's funny.

/but long-winded


You may have found it funny, and it may have been a story with elements of humor and a sappy ending, but it wasn't actually satire. It wasn't satire at all. Like, not even close.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-11 08:38:25 PM  
1) Create all new humans in vitro.
2) Create sexbots.
No one need ever complain again.
 
2014-05-11 08:40:49 PM  
The biggest crime is I couldn't drink whiskey for the better part of a year.
 
2014-05-11 08:42:06 PM  
Happy mother's day!
mimg.ugo.com
 
2014-05-11 08:44:01 PM  
With attitudes like that no wonder libbies love abortion
 
2014-05-11 08:45:25 PM  
i306.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-11 08:46:46 PM  
No according to mom it ain't.
 
2014-05-11 08:47:11 PM  
I'm not the one that f*cked my way into there.
 
2014-05-11 08:49:31 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-11 08:54:19 PM  
Wait, I thought we were our mothers until we were actually born? Isn't that the basis of the "my body my choice" argument? Until you're born, you are her body, not a separate developing person.
 
2014-05-11 08:54:32 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-11 08:54:43 PM  

Mentat: Oh for fark's sake, someone get a pillow and smother Salon for their own good.


If there were no more Salon, where would all the women go to spend their husband's money and pretend their lives are worth talking about?
 
2014-05-11 08:55:38 PM  
This is why my mom was ticked!
 
2014-05-11 08:59:19 PM  

namegoeshere: She made me on purpose. Her fault.

/My brother was an accident.
//My other brother was a disaster.


So that would make you "larry"?
 
2014-05-11 09:01:52 PM  
The 20th century wants all its B.F.S. back , pronto!
 
2014-05-11 09:03:17 PM  
Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
    And don't have any kids yourself.
Burma Shave.

-mostly by Philip Larkin.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I wish you were around so that I could get your ok to tell people the scandalous stories about you,
 
2014-05-11 09:07:24 PM  
Feminists are farkin stupid.
 
2014-05-11 09:09:50 PM  

taurusowner: Wait, I thought we were our mothers until we were actually born? Isn't that the basis of the "my body my choice" argument? Until you're born, you are her body, not a separate developing person.


No, you fit the biological definition of a parasite while in the womb.  If the woman wants the parasite removed, it's "my body my choice" - and it isn't anyone else's business.  Some people spend the rest of their life as parasites (aka, the stereotypical Farker living in their mother's basement).  Nice troll, you already got a bite.
 
2014-05-11 09:11:20 PM  

steklo: [pooboy.com image 850x718]


Miley?
 
2014-05-11 09:11:59 PM  
God that was terrible to read.  If it was meant to be funny they failed.
 
2014-05-11 09:12:30 PM  
Although it was an obvious attempt to be clever and unique, I'm betting there was a fair amount of sincerity in that. And it's just as ridiculous and self-loathing as the idea of a baptism to wash away original sin.
 
2014-05-11 09:13:18 PM  

Repo Man: Happy mother's day!
[mimg.ugo.com image 480x480]


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-05-11 09:15:30 PM  

FloridaWombat: taurusowner: Wait, I thought we were our mothers until we were actually born? Isn't that the basis of the "my body my choice" argument? Until you're born, you are her body, not a separate developing person.

No, you fit the biological definition of a parasite while in the womb.  If the woman wants the parasite removed, it's "my body my choice" - and it isn't anyone else's business.  Some people spend the rest of their life as parasites (aka, the stereotypical Farker living in their mother's basement).  Nice troll, you already got a bite.


It's trolls all the way down I guess.
 
2014-05-11 09:16:10 PM  
Hey dum-dums.  It's a conceit used for entertainment effect.  The article is about the maturation of the fetus in the womb, and has no "feminist" content, overt or otherwise.

So relax your white heterosexual middle to upper-middle class buttholes, no one is trying to destroy your universe this time.

Jesus.  It wasn't even that long of an article and you still couldn't bother to read it before posting your shiatty snark.

Kudos to  trollmitter, though, I guess.
 
2014-05-11 09:16:52 PM  
Feminism is entirely responsible for the real world idiocracy we are witnessing. I recommend switching to humanism.
 
2014-05-11 09:17:16 PM  

Mentat: Mentat: Oh for fark's sake, someone get a pillow and smother Salon for their own good.

Or Slate.  Both.  Whichever.


i141.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-11 09:18:03 PM  
And she gave me AIDS.

So we're even
 
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