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(Canton Repository)   Malone University students are obviously not homeowners because (a) they're students, (b) no student today can expect to ever afford a house, or (c) they feed squirrels   (cantonrep.com) divider line 42
    More: Silly, Malone University students, Reference Daily Intake, editorials  
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2862 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2014 at 3:52 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-11 03:55:40 PM  
Aw nuts
 
2014-05-11 03:58:07 PM  
All tree rats MUST DIE!
Got rid of two more today.
 
2014-05-11 03:59:47 PM  
Squirrel thread!
spacebison.com
 
2014-05-11 04:01:39 PM  
Malone university doesn't like squirrels. Malone University wants to elbow every squirrel in its face. Then, Malone University will get in its truck and go have waffles at the local Waffle House.
 
2014-05-11 04:04:22 PM  
Chipmunks are worse.

/drown the farkers.
 
2014-05-11 04:08:21 PM  
I also feed squirrels.  So do my parents.

Other relatives eat them. That's also fine.

Hatred should be reserved for truly evil things like bugs.  Fark bugs.  All of them.
 
2014-05-11 04:09:59 PM  
If Malone students are doing anything, it's because they think Jesus told them to.
 
2014-05-11 04:14:48 PM  
Yeah, I wouldn't have allowed anyone to give me credit for this editorial either.
 
2014-05-11 04:25:16 PM  
City squirrels are cray cray.
 
2014-05-11 04:29:15 PM  
Berea College KY where we jokingly said the squirrels have more rights than the students. Seriously there was a $50 fine for causing one mental distress!
 
2014-05-11 04:35:53 PM  
Homeowner here.

Never had a problem with squirrels.

Possums, on the other hand, need to die.
 
2014-05-11 04:52:01 PM  
This wouldn't be a problem if we allowed guns on campus!
 
2014-05-11 05:02:33 PM  

crossthread: If Malone students are doing anything, it's because they think Jesus told them to.


Hail, fellow Stark Countian.

/went to Walsh
 
2014-05-11 05:05:17 PM  
Squirrels destroyed my roof. Didn't know the extent of damage until I lost a LOT of ceiling.

Fark squirrels!!
 
2014-05-11 05:08:03 PM  
LOL Fark has discovered the Canton Repository. Hilarity will ensue.
 
2014-05-11 05:09:14 PM  
Actually, feeding squirrels  is a pretty solid indication that you've never owned a home and probably never paid off a vehicle, subby.

And that you're more than a bit along the road toward "cripplingly stupid" to boot.

// There's a reason why within many city limits feeding the things is technically outright illegal.
 
2014-05-11 05:14:15 PM  
A homeowner could go back to school.

Also a homeowner with no squirrel hatred.  Keep your roof in shape you dolts and they can't get in.
 
zez
2014-05-11 05:15:07 PM  
So the writer is mad that the students on campus are feeding squirrels thereby keeping them fed and out of his yard?

Oh, and this. Got one for my dad and it works like a charm, fun as hell too! The Yankee Flipper


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEW9TG6Dcgg
 
2014-05-11 05:17:04 PM  
Growing up the neighbors had a dog. And a 'problem' with with squirrels.  They put flashing on the trees, which won't do diddly to stop a squirrel with a running start. They didn't seem to realize that putting wire mesh over _all_ of the vent holes in the roof might keep the buggers out of their attic.

We had two cats who also had access to the attic. We did not have a problem with squirrels.  We thought they were very cute. And it was always entertaining to see the one of the cats take off running after a squirrel perched on the fence. The cats transition from running along side of the fence then run up across the fence for 30-40 feet was crazy to watch. Invariably the squirrel would escape by making a long 10 foot jump up onto the power lines at the back of the yard.
 
2014-05-11 05:17:58 PM  

fluffy2097: Chipmunks are worse.

I'll bet you don't have outside cats.
 
2014-05-11 05:43:25 PM  

BitwiseShift: fluffy2097: Chipmunks are worse.

I'll bet you don't have outside cats.


The Coyotes get to em.
 
2014-05-11 05:44:33 PM  
This guy doesn't know squirrels.

squirrels are not smart; squirrels are the opposite of smart. They're the blondes of the forest.

tenacious? Driven? Dedicated to a fault? Yes.

But not smart or cunning.
 
2014-05-11 05:58:27 PM  

Thingster: They're the blondes of the forest.


Chipmunks have them beat. You don't even need bait to catch them.

I caught over a dozen of the monsters by placing a have-a-heart trap against a wall where they regularly traveled from their house to their food source, the firewall blanket of my car.

/chipmunks don't eat my car anymore.
 
2014-05-11 06:01:14 PM  
TFA is the very definition of over-wrought.
 
2014-05-11 06:14:48 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: crossthread: If Malone students are doing anything, it's because they think Jesus told them to.

Hail, fellow Stark Countian.

/went to Walsh



Stark Countian? Is that what they call us?
 
2014-05-11 06:32:23 PM  

Relatively Obscure: I also feed squirrels.  So do my parents.

Other relatives eat them. That's also fine.

Hatred should be reserved for truly evil things like bugs.  Fark bugs.  All of them.


Insects pollinate crops. No insects, no food, no trees, no plants, no things that eat plants, no things that eat things that eat plants, including us.
 
2014-05-11 06:47:04 PM  

Relatively Obscure: I also feed squirrels.  So do my parents.

Other relatives eat them. That's also fine.

Hatred should be reserved for truly evil things like bugs.  Fark bugs.  All of them.


That's why I have a billionty lizards in my yard
 
2014-05-11 09:00:55 PM  
Squirrels are cute furry balls of pure evil.
 
2014-05-11 09:06:03 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: All tree rats MUST DIE!
Got rid of two more today.


Got one more at my house I've been trying to catch.  His previous buddies weren't too smart and would let me step right out onto the patio with the air rifle without even flinching.  This one bolts the moment I turn the latch on the door.
 
2014-05-11 09:06:28 PM  
Never thought to blame students for squirrel behavior. Brilliant.
 
2014-05-11 09:19:12 PM  

fluffy2097: Thingster: They're the blondes of the forest.

Chipmunks have them beat. You don't even need bait to catch them.

I caught over a dozen of the monsters by placing a have-a-heart trap against a wall where they regularly traveled from their house to their food source, the firewall blanket of my car.

/chipmunks don't eat my car anymore.


I have a cat for that.
 
2014-05-11 09:23:53 PM  
I feed squirrels... to the bobcat that lives up the hill.

Squirrels and chipmunks are natural reservoirs for Lyme, and as such, must be shot on sight.
 
2014-05-11 09:31:35 PM  
I feed squirrels in my backyard. My dogs like to chase them. One day they killed 6 and my neighbor made stew.
 
2014-05-11 09:59:33 PM  

rewind2846: Relatively Obscure: I also feed squirrels.  So do my parents.

Other relatives eat them. That's also fine.

Hatred should be reserved for truly evil things like bugs.  Fark bugs.  All of them.

Insects pollinate crops. No insects, no food, no trees, no plants, no things that eat plants, no things that eat things that eat plants, including us.


Worth it.
 
2014-05-11 10:48:41 PM  

CruJones: A homeowner could go back to school.

Also a homeowner with no squirrel hatred.  Keep your roof in shape you dolts and they can't get in.


I had a brand new roof, eaves, and gutters put on a few years ago.  2 weeks later, the squirrels had chewed through one corner of the eave (aluminum wrap plus a 2x4) and made a nice little nest.  The company who did the roofing came out and fixed it 3 times before they charged us an extra $400 to put up a steel plate to keep the tree rats out.

I'm so happy we have owls in our neighborhood again!  The take care of the squirrels, rabbits, and voles.  I just wish they could get at the moles.  We need some coyotes to get them and the raccoons.
 
2014-05-11 11:47:29 PM  

DarkVader: Homeowner here.

Never had a problem with squirrels.

Possums, on the other hand, need to die.


Why? they seem harmless.
 
2014-05-12 03:18:35 AM  
This ain't the 50's where you could buy a new house and a new car by working at McDonalds for a couple hours. No one will afford to buy a house.
 
2014-05-12 05:35:01 AM  

clivecusslerfan: We need some coyotes to get them and the raccoons.


Coyotes eat neighborhood cats and dogs you know...

/has to deal with nuisance  bears these days.
 
2014-05-12 01:25:29 PM  

Medic Zero: Why? they seem harmless.


Neighborhood I grew up in had tons of squirrels And lots of old nut and fruit trees which approximates a natural environment. So they have food, nesting sites and hard stuff to crew on.  In a modern housing tract, they don't plant nut or fruit trees (too much maintenance). So squirrels live off cat food, garbage, raiding bird feeders, and handouts from the crazy squirrel lady. They nest in attics and chew on stuff (like your shingles) to keep their teeth in good shape.
 
2014-05-12 02:24:14 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: crossthread: If Malone students are doing anything, it's because they think Jesus told them to.

Hail, fellow Stark Countian.

/went to Walsh


Former Northeast Ohioan. Friend of mine sent his daughter to Malone. They took a bright, engaging young woman (H.S. class valedictorian, even) and turned into a worthless Jesus freak, constantly mooching off friends of her family in order to fund her "mission," aka "I'm going to be poor and irritate everyone with my condescension and beggary." fark Malone.
 
2014-05-12 03:15:03 PM  
a local community college actually has rules against harming the local squirrel or cat population on campus, and no dogs are allowed.
 
2014-05-12 05:48:20 PM  

gibbon1: Medic Zero: Why? they seem harmless.

Neighborhood I grew up in had tons of squirrels And lots of old nut and fruit trees which approximates a natural environment. So they have food, nesting sites and hard stuff to crew on.  In a modern housing tract, they don't plant nut or fruit trees (too much maintenance). So squirrels live off cat food, garbage, raiding bird feeders, and handouts from the crazy squirrel lady. They nest in attics and chew on stuff (like your shingles) to keep their teeth in good shape.


Oh, I understand peoples complaints about squirrels, the comment was in regard to oppossums.
 
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