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(Eurovision.TV)   It's time for the Eurovision Song Contest Grand Final live discussion thread. Who will win? The bearded lady? The guy in a hamster wheel? The country duo? The teenage rockers? The butter churn girl? The show starts at 3PM EDT, 9PM CET   (eurovision.tv ) divider line
    More: Cool, bearded lady, grand finals, 3pm, hamster wheels  
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1238 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2014 at 3:00 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



425 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-10 03:01:31 PM  
Gotta be Austria. Too off the wall not to win it. Plus, s/he can actually sing.
 
2014-05-10 03:01:42 PM  
If you don't know who to vote for:

If you're a straight man or lesbian, vote for Poland.
If you're a gay man or straight woman, vote for Greece.
If you're pansexual, vote for Austria.

There you go.
 
2014-05-10 03:03:03 PM  
*goes to make a drink in preparation*
 
2014-05-10 03:04:00 PM  

ariseatex: If you don't know who to vote for:

If you're a straight man or lesbian, vote for Poland.
If you're a gay man or straight woman, vote for Greece.
If you're pansexual, vote for Austria.

There you go.


And if you nostalgic for the 1974, vote Sweden.
 
2014-05-10 03:04:06 PM  
EUROFARKERS ASSEMBLE!
 
2014-05-10 03:04:58 PM  

worlddan: ariseatex: If you don't know who to vote for:

If you're a straight man or lesbian, vote for Poland.
If you're a gay man or straight woman, vote for Greece.
If you're pansexual, vote for Austria.

There you go.

And if you nostalgic for the 1974, vote Sweden.


Almost forgot:  If you wanna be an American, vote Malta or Netherlands.
 
2014-05-10 03:06:10 PM  
Here's hoping Emma Marrone (Italy) can do well live ... among the likely contenders, I like Austria.
 
2014-05-10 03:06:26 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: EUROFARKERS ASSEMBLE!


Hi. Gonna be an epic thread like every year.
 
2014-05-10 03:07:12 PM  
Just watching to see what happens with Russia. The politics can be interesting, like when Greece and Turkey actually voted for each other.
 
2014-05-10 03:07:15 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Gotta be Austria. Too off the wall not to win it. Plus, s/he can actually sing.


Austria, Ukraine and Russia are the true wildcards.  I haven't been a believer in politics determining the winner in the past but this may be different.  Will there be a great East/West divide in the voting?  Can one side be strong enough to push someone over the top?  Or allow someone else to slip through.

Woo hoo!
 
2014-05-10 03:09:08 PM  
Ha! Boos!
 
2014-05-10 03:10:18 PM  

SonsoftheSod: Ha! Boos!


The boos far overshadowed the cheers when they were announced as finalists after the semifinal.
 
2014-05-10 03:10:20 PM  
Am I wrong to think "My name is Lukacs ... I live on the second floor" when I hear Hungary's song?
 
2014-05-10 03:10:43 PM  
I think San Marino should win just for the lulz.
 
2014-05-10 03:11:32 PM  
Wow.  Usually the fans don't start shooting white stuff until the acts start.
 
2014-05-10 03:12:00 PM  
There is so much lulz potential again this year.
 
2014-05-10 03:12:27 PM  
EVERY DAMN YEAR the hosts remind me of the two wild and crazy guys from early SNL.
 
2014-05-10 03:13:56 PM  
So what rerun does "BBC" America have on now? I could see the final hitting 500k viewers live, so I don't know if the EBU is greedy or "BBC" America just dumb.
 
2014-05-10 03:15:02 PM  

stpickrell: So what rerun does "BBC" America have on now? I could see the final hitting 500k viewers live, so I don't know if the EBU is greedy or "BBC" America just dumb.


31.media.tumblr.com

First up, the hamster wheel!
 
2014-05-10 03:16:26 PM  
Song: C-
Guy in Hamster Wheel: A
 
2014-05-10 03:16:56 PM  
I'm confused. Do I look at the hamster or her legs?
 
2014-05-10 03:17:29 PM  

The Bestest: Song: C-
Guy in Hamster Wheel: A


A-.  A if he was shirtless.  A+ if we was naked.
 
2014-05-10 03:17:55 PM  
That's not a hamster wheel, that's a wind machine generator.
 
2014-05-10 03:17:57 PM  
I didn't know hamsters were eligible for Eurovision.
 
2014-05-10 03:18:25 PM  
Or the hamster at the top of her legs?
 
2014-05-10 03:18:35 PM  
Hamster Wheel guy wasn't as awesome as the half-naked centurion employed the first time Ukraine used the hamster wheel.
 
2014-05-10 03:19:44 PM  
And this my friends is what Robin Thicke would sound like if he were from Belarus.
 
2014-05-10 03:19:46 PM  

ariseatex:  A+ if we was naked.



We barely know each other.
 
2014-05-10 03:20:37 PM  
I wonder if the Belarus boys are in the same tax evasion scheme as the Take That boys?
 
2014-05-10 03:20:56 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: ariseatex:  A+ if we was naked.


We barely know each other.


Dammit, typo.
 
2014-05-10 03:21:19 PM  
Belarus: I could retire off the money those guys spend on hair gel.
 
2014-05-10 03:21:22 PM  
Presumably the only guy from Belarus who's permitted to sing "I don't wanna..."
 
2014-05-10 03:22:54 PM  
It's Azerbuyvotes!
 
2014-05-10 03:23:36 PM  
Can anyone in Germany post the phone number? I'm in Frankfurt but I have to watch online.
 
2014-05-10 03:24:28 PM  
Azerbaijan : our first ballad of the night.  Half the audience is trying to get a peek under the dress of the woman on the trapeze.
 
2014-05-10 03:25:00 PM  
I'm.. kinda failing to understand the symbolism of the trapeze
 
2014-05-10 03:25:13 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Azerbaijan : our first ballad of the night.  Half the audience is trying to get a peek under the dress of the woman on the trapeze.


I think you seriously overestimate the number of straight men present there.
 
2014-05-10 03:25:20 PM  
She's trying to find political asylum up that swing.
 
2014-05-10 03:25:40 PM  

melewen: Can anyone in Germany post the phone number? I'm in Frankfurt but I have to watch online.


(01371) 36 36 plus entry number 01 to 26
 
2014-05-10 03:25:49 PM  
Ive been listening to only two songs and I'm already ready to commit suicide.
 
2014-05-10 03:26:31 PM  

The Bestest: I'm.. kinda failing to understand the symbolism of the trapeze


Well they wanted to set it on fire at the end, but EBU complained.  The screams were too loud.
 
2014-05-10 03:27:06 PM  

melewen: Can anyone in Germany post the phone number? I'm in Frankfurt but I have to watch online.


They haven't posted it.
 
2014-05-10 03:27:09 PM  

traylor: Ive been listening to only two songs and I'm already ready to commit suicide.


Just wait 'till you hear Norway.
 
2014-05-10 03:27:16 PM  
..and now Iceland presents us with Ska Skittles
 
2014-05-10 03:27:20 PM  
It's the Teletubbies!
 
2014-05-10 03:27:33 PM  
I don't think I have enough booze for this.

It's Icelandic Teletubbies according to my fiance.
 
2014-05-10 03:29:20 PM  
*high fives SonsoftheSod*
 
2014-05-10 03:29:22 PM  
Iceland: The obligatory social justice song.Qbert game floor and god so much pastel. They need Bjork.
 
2014-05-10 03:30:15 PM  

stanhapsburg: melewen: Can anyone in Germany post the phone number? I'm in Frankfurt but I have to watch online.

(01371) 36 36 plus entry number 01 to 26


Danke!
 
2014-05-10 03:30:23 PM  
I already went potty.
 
2014-05-10 03:30:26 PM  
And now the "Won't someone please hug me?" song.
 
2014-05-10 03:31:00 PM  
Norway: This song is making me want to cut myself.
 
2014-05-10 03:31:29 PM  
I feel so DEEP and MEANINGFUL now.
 
2014-05-10 03:32:13 PM  

melewen: stanhapsburg: melewen: Can anyone in Germany post the phone number? I'm in Frankfurt but I have to watch online.

(01371) 36 36 plus entry number 01 to 26

Danke!


I'm up the road from you in Krefeld.
 
2014-05-10 03:32:22 PM  
Norway has a giant forearm.
 
2014-05-10 03:32:35 PM  

ariseatex: traylor: Ive been listening to only two songs and I'm already ready to commit suicide.

Just wait 'till you hear Norway.


Uhh... And I thought you were joking.

OK, things can only get better from this point.
 
2014-05-10 03:33:10 PM  
I kept waiting for the Norwegian guy to burst out into some death metal growling.
 
2014-05-10 03:33:18 PM  
Heh two of those Icelandic guys used be in a serious alternative rock group during the 90's and early 00's.
But now they make songs for the kindergarteners they teach and eurovision.
 
2014-05-10 03:33:50 PM  

rockymom: *high fives SonsoftheSod*


so close...
 
2014-05-10 03:33:56 PM  

traylor: ariseatex: traylor: Ive been listening to only two songs and I'm already ready to commit suicide.

Just wait 'till you hear Norway.

Uhh... And I thought you were joking.

OK, things can only get better from this point.


They do...kinda.

First up, the amazing disappearing woman with the glass-breaking voice.
 
2014-05-10 03:34:50 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-10 03:35:12 PM  
Romania: Ooh shiny suit!  Oontz oontz oontz.
 
2014-05-10 03:35:31 PM  
Ha-rrump. Don't cotton to no socialist singers.

/Ha-rrump
 
2014-05-10 03:35:34 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-10 03:35:49 PM  
oh Romania.. and you started off so well too..
 
2014-05-10 03:35:49 PM  
And here's Romania with our Glee moment.
 
2014-05-10 03:36:27 PM  
Common Linnets. You're welcome.
 
2014-05-10 03:36:54 PM  
Okay, so is that actually a working piano, or just a prop? He didn't actually seem to be doing anything useful with it.
 
2014-05-10 03:37:02 PM  
HE'S NOT EVEN PLAYING THAT GODDAMN KEYBOARD THING.
 
2014-05-10 03:37:12 PM  
Ok, if you go to the extent of building a bloody Oface piano, you need to use more in the performance.
 
2014-05-10 03:37:36 PM  
I kinda liked the Romanian girl. What's wrong with me?
 
2014-05-10 03:38:22 PM  

ariseatex: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: ariseatex:  A+ if we was naked.


We barely know each other.

Dammit, typo.


LOL

/That's a win
 
2014-05-10 03:38:44 PM  
I don't care what you think, I like the circular piano.
 
2014-05-10 03:39:00 PM  
In betting news, Iceland's odds of winning are going up across the board right now.
 
2014-05-10 03:39:10 PM  
German announcer: "Siegfried and Paula. Just the white tigers were missing."
 
2014-05-10 03:40:18 PM  
It gets better, people. Russian twins are coming.
 
2014-05-10 03:40:18 PM  
Armenia: How can anybody be THIS boring? Is he trying to channel Nickelback??.
 
2014-05-10 03:40:42 PM  
Armenia looks like a young Willam Dafoe
 
2014-05-10 03:40:46 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Armenia: How can anybody be THIS boring? Is he trying to channel Nickelback??.


It's worse:  Nickelback + Dubstep.
 
2014-05-10 03:41:02 PM  
Someone looks constipated.
That Armenian guy reminds me that I wanted to go to the bathroom.
 
2014-05-10 03:41:05 PM  
No capes, Armenia. You're not a super villain.
 
2014-05-10 03:41:34 PM  

stanhapsburg: German announcer: "Siegfried and Paula. Just the white tigers were missing."



I'm watching the BBC. The announcer is killing everyone.
 
2014-05-10 03:41:45 PM  

bigworld2000: It gets better, people. Russian twins are coming.


i44.photobucket.com

/depending on where you are
 
2014-05-10 03:42:13 PM  
Oh, Titanic!
They even have ice.
 
2014-05-10 03:43:14 PM  
 
2014-05-10 03:43:26 PM  
Montenegro: Finally a native language song.  The biggest drama is whether the skater girl eats the floor.
 
2014-05-10 03:44:05 PM  

The Voice of Doom: Oh, Titanic!
They even have ice.


So that's what the flute was reminding me of. Couldn't place it at first. Thanks.
 
2014-05-10 03:44:08 PM  
Not sure about his singing, but I would let him try out for middle blocker on my volleyball team.
 
2014-05-10 03:44:21 PM  
Snail trail, how embarrassing.
 
2014-05-10 03:44:52 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Montenegro: Finally a native language song.  The biggest drama is whether the skater girl eats the floor.


An ice hockey checking line would be awesome.
 
2014-05-10 03:44:59 PM  
I wasn't sure if she was wearing anything underneath.
 
2014-05-10 03:45:11 PM  
Damnhippyfreak
So that's what the flute was reminding me of. Couldn't place it at first. Thanks.


I'm also getting a 9th Doctor stunt double vibe here.
 
2014-05-10 03:45:51 PM  

rockymom: I kept waiting for the Norwegian guy to burst out into some death metal growling.


Nah, our entries tend to be like this. (you probably shouldn't click that)

To stay on topic: Norwegian Death Metal anno 1976. (really don't click that)
 
2014-05-10 03:46:26 PM  
Hello, Poland!
 
2014-05-10 03:47:06 PM  
Hey Poland, you so fine, you so fine you blow my mine, Hey Poland! *clap-clap clap* Hey Poland! *clap-clap clap*
 
2014-05-10 03:47:14 PM  
LOL
 
2014-05-10 03:47:30 PM  
Poland: oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind.
 
2014-05-10 03:47:33 PM  
WTF is this? Oh Mickey in Polish?
 
2014-05-10 03:47:47 PM  
I...I must have butter. Cover me in butter...
 
2014-05-10 03:47:49 PM  
Poland!

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-10 03:47:52 PM  
Churn that butter!
 
2014-05-10 03:48:12 PM  
Boreland.


OTOH:
moooooooooooo
Nice udders.
 
2014-05-10 03:48:15 PM  
What's "street cred" in polish? They have, um, a lot of it.
 
2014-05-10 03:48:28 PM  
Epic rack though.
 
2014-05-10 03:49:24 PM  

stanhapsburg: What's "street cred" in polish? They have, um, a lot of it.


ulica wiarygodność.

And I agree.
 
2014-05-10 03:51:08 PM  
Greece.. wat are you doing

Greece.. stahp..
 
2014-05-10 03:52:14 PM  
Boing boing boing boing boing
 
2014-05-10 03:52:15 PM  
Sir Cumference the Flatulent
I wasn't sure if she was wearing anything underneath.


Given the way the stage looks, some stagehand might know.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-10 03:52:30 PM  

Damnhippyfreak: Churn that butter!


And then raise two barns!
 
2014-05-10 03:52:58 PM  
Greece: this isn't the Eurovision Trampoline Contest, guys.
 
2014-05-10 03:53:10 PM  
Was that Greek Jedwad or whatever the fark they were called?
 
2014-05-10 03:53:18 PM  
Next year every act needs a trampoline.
 
2014-05-10 03:54:08 PM  
I am now questioning my sexuality.
 
2014-05-10 03:54:16 PM  
ariseatex
Next year every act needs a trampoline.


Poland could have used one.
 
2014-05-10 03:54:22 PM  
Climbing a ladder in stilettos has got to be unsafe.
 
2014-05-10 03:55:05 PM  

SonsoftheSod: I am now questioning my sexuality.


You're watching Eurovision.  I think you were doing that already.

/WIE? EIP.
 
2014-05-10 03:56:03 PM  
Austria: Turn out the lights. We have our winner. This is how you win Eurovision.
 
2014-05-10 03:56:24 PM  
This song sounds like there should be a James Bond movie afterwards.
 
2014-05-10 03:56:30 PM  
Channeling a bit of Shirley Bassey there. S/he should do a Bond theme.
 
2014-05-10 03:56:43 PM  
Now for the crowd shot, the crowd is going wild:

bilder.augsburger-allgemeine.de
 
2014-05-10 03:57:27 PM  

Cheesehead_Dave: This song sounds like there should be a James Bond movie afterwards.


Damnit!
 
2014-05-10 03:57:44 PM  
Poor Germany, following Austria.
 
2014-05-10 03:58:13 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Austria: Turn out the lights. We have our winner. This is how you win Eurovision.


Great song, but I wonder if the more conservative countries will vote for her?
 
2014-05-10 03:59:07 PM  
That's a hard act to follow, especially with an oom-pah beginning.
 
2014-05-10 03:59:24 PM  
kinda diggin Germany
 
2014-05-10 03:59:41 PM  
I feel bad for Germany. Decent song, but nobody short of Freddy Mercury could follow that up.
 
2014-05-10 03:59:44 PM  

ariseatex: SonsoftheSod: I am now questioning my sexuality.

You're watching Eurovision.  I think you were doing that already.

/WIE? EIP.


Do you churn butter?
 
2014-05-10 04:00:36 PM  

SonsoftheSod: ariseatex: SonsoftheSod: I am now questioning my sexuality.

You're watching Eurovision.  I think you were doing that already.

/WIE? EIP.

Do you churn butter?


media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-05-10 04:00:38 PM  
Oh, looks like Germany has sent my dentist's office staff.
Then again, they wouldn't have done bonbons.
Also, they're more enthusiastic at the dentist's.
 
2014-05-10 04:01:12 PM  

Cheesehead_Dave: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Austria: Turn out the lights. We have our winner. This is how you win Eurovision.

Great song, but I wonder if the more conservative countries will vote for her?



I think some will as a big f*ck you to Russia.
 
2014-05-10 04:01:19 PM  
Well that kinda just ended.
 
2014-05-10 04:02:08 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I feel bad for Germany. Decent song, but nobody short of Freddy Mercury could follow that up.


Norton just called them "cannon fodder".
 
2014-05-10 04:02:58 PM  
I love this thread every year. There's so much hivemind going on.
 
2014-05-10 04:03:02 PM  

ariseatex: SonsoftheSod: ariseatex: SonsoftheSod: I am now questioning my sexuality.

You're watching Eurovision.  I think you were doing that already.

/WIE? EIP.

Do you churn butter?


Lol, loved that show.
 
2014-05-10 04:03:10 PM  
I missed the first ten, dammit. Just caught...Greece on trampolines, wtf.
 
2014-05-10 04:05:20 PM  
Odds update:  Austria is leading, with some houses giving her better than 1:1 odds to win.  Iceland continues to rise, Armenia continues to fall.
 
2014-05-10 04:05:34 PM  
ABBA
 
2014-05-10 04:05:59 PM  

SonsoftheSod: ariseatex: SonsoftheSod: I am now questioning my sexuality.

You're watching Eurovision.  I think you were doing that already.

/WIE? EIP.

Do you churn butter?


I sling yoghurt..is that close enough?
 
2014-05-10 04:06:03 PM  
Sweden has the soundtrack to a huge sinking ocean liner.
 
2014-05-10 04:06:25 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I feel bad for Germany. Decent song, but nobody short of Freddy Mercury could follow that up.


Lithuania had that happen in the semi.
 
2014-05-10 04:07:02 PM  

stpickrell: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I feel bad for Germany. Decent song, but nobody short of Freddy Mercury could follow that up.

Lithuania had that happen in the semi.


Nothing could save Lithuania.  It was pure and utter garbage.
 
2014-05-10 04:07:23 PM  
Sweden sounds nice but awfully.. generic
 
2014-05-10 04:07:25 PM  
The Swedish entrant is supposedly a pretty big pop star here as it is. I wouldn't know, I am old and American :D
 
2014-05-10 04:07:38 PM  
Yodel, Sweden. Yodel!
 
2014-05-10 04:08:00 PM  
Here you go,  rockymom!

She's not bad, but not a winner
 
2014-05-10 04:08:19 PM  
Sweden, Eurovision by numbers...

My three month old liked Germany.
 
2014-05-10 04:08:47 PM  
Not a bad song. Needs more beard though.
 
2014-05-10 04:09:12 PM  
We are cheering for the Netherlands here. That song by the Linnets is good.
 
2014-05-10 04:09:35 PM  
MY GOD!!! FLASHING IMAGES AND STROBE EFFECTS!!!
 
2014-05-10 04:10:31 PM  
France: Dafuq am I watching?  This is why the Germans invade you twice every century.
 
2014-05-10 04:10:53 PM  
I'll just be glad if the UK don't come last. We used to be much better at this than the last several years.
 
2014-05-10 04:11:05 PM  
Okay *who* is cheering for France? They need to be defenestrated for the good of humanity.
 
2014-05-10 04:11:06 PM  

strutin: SonsoftheSod: ariseatex: SonsoftheSod: I am now questioning my sexuality.

You're watching Eurovision.  I think you were doing that already.

/WIE? EIP.

Do you churn butter?

I sling yoghurt..is that close enough?


Only if you can fling it off your stashe with a sexy flick of the head.
 
2014-05-10 04:11:46 PM  
Is the guitarist the model for the school bus driver on The Simpsons?
 
2014-05-10 04:11:47 PM  
Thanks for the seizures France
 
2014-05-10 04:11:50 PM  
they shoulda stuck France in the after-Austria slot
 
2014-05-10 04:11:51 PM  
Um...is the lone black guy wearing white face paint?
 
2014-05-10 04:12:19 PM  

ariseatex: Um...is the lone black guy wearing white face paint?


Yes. Yes, he is.
 
2014-05-10 04:12:23 PM  
From the Scandinavia and the World comic (www.satwcomic.com) a few years ago:

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-10 04:13:49 PM  
...why are they holding a lucite bar?
 
2014-05-10 04:14:21 PM  
Conjoined at the head, like Russia and Ukraine.
 
2014-05-10 04:15:10 PM  

zomega: ariseatex: Um...is the lone black guy wearing white face paint?

Yes. Yes, he is.


...and THIS is why Eurovision won't be aired in America anytime soon.  Wow.
 
2014-05-10 04:15:31 PM  
Russia:  you KNOW Putin is hitting that. Catchy song though. Kinda retro. I like it
 
2014-05-10 04:15:41 PM  
Russia, I am not impressed
 
2014-05-10 04:15:51 PM  
Gag the Russians and have them brought to my chambers.
 
2014-05-10 04:16:51 PM  
Hope everyone here who loves the Russian twins lives somewhere where 17 is legal.
 
2014-05-10 04:16:55 PM  
Missed opportunity. They should've done that Justin Timberlake song and trolled the world.
 
2014-05-10 04:17:15 PM  
This woman is hardassed about her salad.
 
2014-05-10 04:18:17 PM  
I'd stab Italy in the back, if you know what I mean.


/and I think you do.
 
2014-05-10 04:18:31 PM  
I want to lean over to the Italy entry and whisper in her ear, " remember, you are mortal."
 
2014-05-10 04:19:06 PM  
Italy  hail Caesar! If you've ever watched RAI, you know how typically Italian this is.
 
2014-05-10 04:19:35 PM  

SonsoftheSod: I'd stab Italy in the back, if you know what I mean.


/and I think you do.


img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-05-10 04:19:54 PM  
Had there still been a virgin among the contestants after the semis, the Italians would've sacrificed them and their singer would've devoured their souls.
 
2014-05-10 04:19:54 PM  
Bendy!
 
2014-05-10 04:19:54 PM  
PANTIES!
 
2014-05-10 04:20:27 PM  
Whoa...
 
2014-05-10 04:21:16 PM  

ariseatex: Hope everyone here who loves the Russian twins lives somewhere where 17 is legal.


Yes, yes I do, but I'm afraid they'd annex my shed and I ain't having that. It's my shed.
 
2014-05-10 04:21:46 PM  
ooOOoooOooo... Shiny!
 
2014-05-10 04:22:03 PM  
check out the shoulders on Slovenia!
 
2014-05-10 04:23:21 PM  
ariseatex
Hope everyone here who loves the Russian twins lives somewhere where 17 is legal.


In Germany 17 would be legal as long as you don't look at them while you're banging them.
 
2014-05-10 04:23:24 PM  
Needs more Zamfir, master of the pan flute.
 
2014-05-10 04:24:20 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Needs more Zamfir, master of the pan flute.


I was just going to make a Zamfir ref. gold star.
 
2014-05-10 04:24:31 PM  
Well Slovenia definitely brought their A-Game tonight.
 
2014-05-10 04:25:26 PM  
This... isn't Lordi.
 
2014-05-10 04:25:50 PM  
It's CANADA!
First an igloo, now Bieber!
 
2014-05-10 04:27:14 PM  
Goddamn I want that jacket.
 
2014-05-10 04:27:15 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

/Finland's song's about a guy who doesn't realize he had perfection until after his wife died
//makes me remember this movie and cry
///slashies come in threes
 
2014-05-10 04:28:01 PM  
Did all you farkers have a stroke or something? Wtf are you all talking about? (sorry, I'm just a poor ignorant southern american here.)
 
2014-05-10 04:28:09 PM  
The most rock from Finland since Terasbetoni.
 
2014-05-10 04:28:31 PM  
Scratchy voice!
 
2014-05-10 04:29:03 PM  

listernine: Did all you farkers have a stroke or something? Wtf are you all talking about? (sorry, I'm just a poor ignorant southern american here.)


Tune in and in about ten minutes you'll get a Mumford-and-Sons wannabe band from Malta followed soon by a sweet country duo from the Netherlands.
 
2014-05-10 04:29:59 PM  
The rain in Spain... nah.
 
2014-05-10 04:30:38 PM  
I like the wet hair look for this song.
 
2014-05-10 04:30:54 PM  

listernine: Did all you farkers have a stroke or something? Wtf are you all talking about? (sorry, I'm just a poor ignorant southern american here.)


I have long wondered what the US version of this would be like. If all 50 states put in one cheesy entry....
 
2014-05-10 04:31:09 PM  
Falls mainly between her tits.
 
2014-05-10 04:31:10 PM  
I like this one. Then again I'm a sucker for Mediterranean women.
 
2014-05-10 04:32:03 PM  
You can hear the credits roll on this song....!
 
2014-05-10 04:32:20 PM  
Anyone watching this via DVB-T in Germany?
Maybe it's the seizurebait every other act is employing in the background, but sometimes there are compression artifacts during the acts (not e.g. during the flag stuff between) which could make a pirated Champions League stream jealous.
 
2014-05-10 04:33:40 PM  
Wait...Swiss hipsters?
 
2014-05-10 04:33:47 PM  
Oh crap, it's The Scorpions! The Wall's gonna fall!
 
2014-05-10 04:33:57 PM  
Damn, this year's show is just putting me to sleep.
 
2014-05-10 04:34:10 PM  
S'whistlin'
 
2014-05-10 04:34:20 PM  
I apparently missed Switzerland. This isn't half bad.
 
2014-05-10 04:36:04 PM  

The Voice of Doom: Anyone watching this via DVB-T in Germany?
Maybe it's the seizurebait every other act is employing in the background, but sometimes there are compression artifacts during the acts (not e.g. during the flag stuff between) which could make a pirated Champions League stream jealous.


Might be weather related. I guess the Spanish lady has sung a depression over here. (DVB-S is fine)
 
2014-05-10 04:37:05 PM  
And now from Hungary, a song about child abuse.  Enjoy Eurovision!
 
2014-05-10 04:37:16 PM  
My name is Lukács... I live on the second floor...
 
2014-05-10 04:38:33 PM  

stpickrell: My name is Lukács... I live on the second floor...



Dammit. No way I'm topping that one.
 
2014-05-10 04:38:37 PM  
When I first heard this it sounded like the typical Thugs Need Love song...then I realized what he was singing. Oy.
 
2014-05-10 04:39:03 PM  
This is the song the Russian twins will be singing in my secret basement room.
 
2014-05-10 04:39:28 PM  
My home country. I'm actually surprised that it's not that bad.
 
2014-05-10 04:39:51 PM  
How does the male dancer describe this on his resume?
 
2014-05-10 04:40:24 PM  

SonsoftheSod: This is the song the Russian twins will be singing in my secret basement room.


You magnificent evil bastard, you.

And now, to follow "She's running away!", here's "I'm coming home!"
 
2014-05-10 04:42:00 PM  

traylor: My home country. I'm actually surprised that it's not that bad.


If there's  something Hungary does well, it's depressing songs.
 
2014-05-10 04:42:42 PM  
ariseatx: You weren't kidding about these being Mumford & Sons clones.
 
2014-05-10 04:42:53 PM  
If The Pogues got sober... thank fark that never happened.
 
2014-05-10 04:43:22 PM  
In case you missed it.

scontent-b-ams.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2014-05-10 04:43:23 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: ariseatx: You weren't kidding about these being Mumford & Sons clones.


Next up:  Danish Bruno Mars.
 
2014-05-10 04:44:05 PM  
Huh.
I was looking through the settings of my TV app hoping to find some bitrate information and I just noticed that ARD is using a second audio track for the blind:
"Now the dancer is throwing her arms up into the air."
"In the background there appear b&w photos of people".
"The singer is wearing.."

Also, subtitles for the people who are hard of hearing or wish they were after the first few contestants.
Could have used those during Switzerland, I wasn't really sure what language the guy was singing in. Probably Switzerenglüsh.
 
2014-05-10 04:45:32 PM  

ariseatex: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: ariseatx: You weren't kidding about these being Mumford & Sons clones.

Next up:  Danish Bruno Mars.



Norton just called that. Impressive fro on the backup singer.
 
2014-05-10 04:45:58 PM  
If you listen closely, he loves his girl because she's into 3-ways.
 
2014-05-10 04:46:05 PM  

neonstz: In case you missed it.

[scontent-b-ams.xx.fbcdn.net image 800x500]


good lord
 
2014-05-10 04:46:27 PM  

ariseatex: traylor: My home country. I'm actually surprised that it's not that bad.

If there's  something Hungary does well, it's depressing songs.


You tell me...
 
2014-05-10 04:46:58 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I didn't know hamsters were eligible for Eurovision.


Dustin the Turkey represented Ireland a few years ago,

It was as embarrassing for Ireland as one would expect it to be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-n--JnAwirk&noredirect=1
 
2014-05-10 04:47:03 PM  
The Voice of Doom
Also, subtitles for the people who are hard of hearing or wish they were after the first few contestants.


lulz

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-10 04:47:14 PM  

ariseatex: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: ariseatx: You weren't kidding about these being Mumford & Sons clones.

Next up:  Danish Bruno Mars.


He's just another cliche, baby.
 
2014-05-10 04:47:41 PM  
They weren't bad. Top 5.
 
2014-05-10 04:47:52 PM  

The Voice of Doom: The Voice of Doom
Also, subtitles for the people who are hard of hearing or wish they were after the first few contestants.

lulz

[i.imgur.com image 800x447]


Well....they're accurate.
 
2014-05-10 04:48:17 PM  
Is that a great Dane singing "Scooby dooby doo"?
 
2014-05-10 04:48:32 PM  
Denmark should have let Jimny Hendrix lead that act.
 
2014-05-10 04:48:49 PM  
cretinbobneonstz: In case you missed it.

[scontent-b-ams.xx.fbcdn.net image 800x500]

good lord


As I said, THEY should have been the ones with the trampolines.
 
2014-05-10 04:48:57 PM  
Arranging tulips on a barge in a stupid hat?  HOW farkING DUTCH ARE THEY?
 
2014-05-10 04:49:10 PM  
Go Linnets go!
 
2014-05-10 04:49:17 PM  

Cormee: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I didn't know hamsters were eligible for Eurovision.

Dustin the Turkey represented Ireland a few years ago,

It was as embarrassing for Ireland as one would expect it to be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-n--JnAwirk&noredirect=1



Still better than Jedward.
 
2014-05-10 04:49:51 PM  

DemonEater: Arranging tulips on a barge in a stupid hat?  HOW farkING DUTCH ARE THEY?


I don't think most Dutch songs sound like this.
 
2014-05-10 04:49:52 PM  

DemonEater: Arranging tulips on a barge in a stupid hat?  HOW farkING DUTCH ARE THEY?


Could have been toking up while doing it, I guess.
 
2014-05-10 04:50:36 PM  
This is a good song. Could do without the Jakob Dylan lookalike.
 
2014-05-10 04:50:56 PM  
The Dutch are higher in the odds chart than usual, I see.
 
2014-05-10 04:51:17 PM  

stpickrell: DemonEater: Arranging tulips on a barge in a stupid hat?  HOW farkING DUTCH ARE THEY?

Could have been toking up while doing it, I guess.


In a legal red light district!
 
2014-05-10 04:51:19 PM  
Oh, nice.

/not all Scots like Country
//that's just a cliche
///baby
 
2014-05-10 04:51:24 PM  
This is the camera shot that never ends...
Yes it goes on and on my friends...
 
2014-05-10 04:51:58 PM  
A good song? In my Eurovision?
 
2014-05-10 04:52:31 PM  

The Numbers: A good song? In my Eurovision?


Surely not!
 
2014-05-10 04:52:48 PM  

The Numbers: A good song? In my Eurovision?


It's more likely than you think.

The performance/camera work sold it though.  Watch out Conchita.

And now, the little country that could: San Marino!
 
2014-05-10 04:53:59 PM  
Maybe!?!?
 
2014-05-10 04:54:48 PM  

ariseatex: The Numbers: A good song? In my Eurovision?

It's more likely than you think.

The performance/camera work sold it though.  Watch out Conchita.

And now, the little country that could: San Marino!


if they won, could they even put on the show next year?
 
2014-05-10 04:54:57 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: stanhapsburg: German announcer: "Siegfried and Paula. Just the white tigers were missing."


I'm watching the BBC. The announcer is killing everyone.


That's Graham Norton, he drinks through the whole contest so he tends to get funnier as the night goes on. He's a great stand up comedian, absolutely hilarious.

/he was also on a few episodes of Fr. Ted
 
2014-05-10 04:55:02 PM  

zomega: Maybe!?!?


img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-05-10 04:55:11 PM  
Mellow Yellow
 
2014-05-10 04:55:28 PM  
Kudos to San Marino for sending real Sanmarinese singers 4 of 5 times, btw.
 
2014-05-10 04:55:49 PM  
Is that Tori Amos in a clam shell?
 
2014-05-10 04:55:57 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: ariseatex: The Numbers: A good song? In my Eurovision?

It's more likely than you think.

The performance/camera work sold it though.  Watch out Conchita.

And now, the little country that could: San Marino!

if they won, could they even put on the show next year?


I think they have a concert hall that holds 400 people.  That's about it.
 
2014-05-10 04:56:36 PM  

Cormee: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: stanhapsburg: German announcer: "Siegfried and Paula. Just the white tigers were missing."


I'm watching the BBC. The announcer is killing everyone.

That's Graham Norton, he drinks through the whole contest so he tends to get funnier as the night goes on. He's a great stand up comedian, absolutely hilarious.

/he was also on a few episodes of Fr. Ted


I wish I had gotten to watch Terry Wogan.
 
2014-05-10 04:56:54 PM  
With a bit of work and inverting the colors and stuff one might be able to turn San Marino's entry into a James Bond intro.
Roger Moore Bond, though.
 
2014-05-10 04:57:27 PM  
Oh Christ, this UK song is awful.

It may just stand a chance of winning.
 
2014-05-10 04:57:48 PM  
'This could be our year.'- Norton

Oh, he's really drinking alright.
 
2014-05-10 04:58:04 PM  
What? A British. Entry that's NOT an utter embarrassment?
 
2014-05-10 04:59:31 PM  
She's wearing the same headgear the princess in Neverending Story wears.
 
2014-05-10 04:59:36 PM  
Margaery Tyrell needs to check her wardrobe, there might be a dress missing.
 
2014-05-10 05:01:15 PM  
From what I've read about Eurovision, a Chicago mayoral election is handled with more dignity
and tact.  You may already know this, but politicking and snits of an international nature are rampant
in a contest that, ironically, is supposed to promote good will.  (For example, if  "Jacques Chellacques"
of France makes some nasty comment about  "Don Pedro Gonzales" of Spain during the year, you
can bet Spain won't give the French entry more than a Bronx cheer.)
 
2014-05-10 05:01:30 PM  
Graham Norton on British entry: "our song"

Freakin turncoat, west brit, clown.
 
2014-05-10 05:02:07 PM  
Norton got burned!
 
2014-05-10 05:02:26 PM  

ariseatex: If you don't know who to vote for:

If you're a straight man or lesbian, vote for Poland.
If you're a gay man or straight woman, vote for Greece.
If you're pansexual, vote for Austria.

There you go.


And if you enjoy a decently performed song, you won't give a flying squirrel
about this whole magilla.
 
2014-05-10 05:02:32 PM  
Graham was really quick to hide his bottle of Jameson. Once he gets off cam he'll be downing it.
 
2014-05-10 05:02:53 PM  
Please tell me the host with the glasses is wearing skinny jeans together with his velvet jacket.
 
2014-05-10 05:03:00 PM  

zomega: stpickrell: DemonEater: Arranging tulips on a barge in a stupid hat?  HOW farkING DUTCH ARE THEY?

Could have been toking up while doing it, I guess.

In a legal red light district!


with some kind of rudder
 
2014-05-10 05:05:40 PM  

cretinbob: zomega: stpickrell: DemonEater: Arranging tulips on a barge in a stupid hat?  HOW farkING DUTCH ARE THEY?

Could have been toking up while doing it, I guess.

In a legal red light district!

with some kind of rudder


That would have been really funny a few pages ago.
 
2014-05-10 05:06:33 PM  
Holy bejesus, that Norway entry was awful.
 
2014-05-10 05:06:43 PM  
1. Austria by a mile
2. Denmark
3. Russia
 
2014-05-10 05:07:02 PM  
So if the oddschecker average is to believed, the top five will likely be:

1. Austria
2. Sweden
3. Netherlands
4. Ukraine
5. United Kingdom
 
2014-05-10 05:07:15 PM  
Greek entry, gayer than dolphin with a lisp
 
2014-05-10 05:08:24 PM  
And I missed epic Poland....nooooo!
 
2014-05-10 05:08:33 PM  
Dear god am I glad that I missed France.
 
2014-05-10 05:10:53 PM  

The Voice of Doom: Dear god am I glad that I missed France.


I wish I had.
 
2014-05-10 05:11:47 PM  

ariseatex: The Voice of Doom: Dear god am I glad that I missed France.

I wish I had.


you don't like moustaches?
 
2014-05-10 05:12:59 PM  
I wish I could grow a good mustache.
 
2014-05-10 05:13:01 PM  
They should pep things up by introducing negative points:
"..and finally, Russia takes 10 points and a peninsula away from Ukraine".
 
2014-05-10 05:13:09 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: 1. Austria by a mile
2. Denmark
3. Russia


I'm saying:

1. Holland
2. Malta
3. Denmark
 
2014-05-10 05:13:09 PM  
sophieduffy.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-10 05:13:18 PM  

The Bestest: ariseatex: The Voice of Doom: Dear god am I glad that I missed France.

I wish I had.

you don't like moustaches?


I don't like idiotic performances...

Speaking of, WTF is this?
 
2014-05-10 05:13:39 PM  
What the exploding f*ck is this guy doing to this song?
 
2014-05-10 05:15:26 PM  
They originally had seagulls on their heads?
 
2014-05-10 05:16:15 PM  

TheOtherDub: [sophieduffy.files.wordpress.com image 412x232]


I think I'll actually download that, right now, on Sky+
 
2014-05-10 05:16:34 PM  
Breakdancing Jesus on a Crusader's pike, WTF am I watching?!?
 
2014-05-10 05:16:45 PM  
I was listening to the Choral this afternoon. Now I'm pished.
 
2014-05-10 05:17:23 PM  

The Voice of Doom: Breakdancing Jesus on a Crusader's pike, WTF am I watching?!?


Idiocy on the part of the host country?

I think this is a ploy to make sure Denmark doesn't win a second year in a row.
 
2014-05-10 05:19:03 PM  

TheOtherDub: [sophieduffy.files.wordpress.com image 412x232]


This late in the thread?

/and we'll see it again next year.
 
2014-05-10 05:19:25 PM  
Malta- waaay too young for my secret basement room.
 
2014-05-10 05:19:29 PM  
Gaiaia, or whatever her name is. Stop that.
 
2014-05-10 05:19:36 PM  
Who picked that red dress?
"Poor thing. Only 11 and already pregnant."
 
2014-05-10 05:19:39 PM  
I'm from Denmark, but I haven't really paid attention to the whole thing till now.

Wtf. is that thing with China?
 
2014-05-10 05:19:56 PM  
Before we get to the results, and since we have a lot of Europeans in this thread, I want to let you all know that the annual EuroFark party is going to be the weekend of Oct. 3.5 in Prague.
 
2014-05-10 05:20:51 PM  

spawn73: I'm from Denmark, but I haven't really paid attention to the whole thing till now.

Wtf. is that thing with China?


The one host is playing up the fact he speaks Chinese, I think.
 
2014-05-10 05:22:55 PM  

ariseatex: spawn73: I'm from Denmark, but I haven't really paid attention to the whole thing till now.

Wtf. is that thing with China?

The one host is playing up the fact he speaks Chinese, I think.


What a clown. :P
 
2014-05-10 05:22:58 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Before we get to the results, and since we have a lot of Europeans in this thread, I want to let you all know that the annual EuroFark party is going to be the weekend of Oct. 3.5 in Prague.


Thanks for the reminder. Maybe I can finally make it this year.
 
2014-05-10 05:24:59 PM  
pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-05-10 05:25:05 PM  
Too much talking. Attention waning
 
2014-05-10 05:26:02 PM  

stanhapsburg: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Before we get to the results, and since we have a lot of Europeans in this thread, I want to let you all know that the annual EuroFark party is going to be the weekend of Oct. 3.5 in Prague.

Thanks for the reminder. Maybe I can finally make it this year.


If you're on over there, we have a Facebook page for it. My FB is in my profile.
 
2014-05-10 05:26:09 PM  

Cheesehead_Dave: [pbs.twimg.com image 599x683]


Forgot Montenegro.
 
2014-05-10 05:27:01 PM  
do do do dodo do it's the final countdown
 
2014-05-10 05:28:59 PM  
If I had a snarky side, I could probably find a joke in the fact that the Spanish lady went with "dancing in the rain" and not the classic "singing in the rain".
 
2014-05-10 05:30:05 PM  
Wait, is this the sniper from Inglorious Bastards?
 
2014-05-10 05:30:34 PM  
I quite enjoyed Finland. There was a surprising amount that weren't terrible (although that was there). Just kinda staying off the grid. I also liked Spain, Iceland, Sweden, Netherlands. Austria can sing like shiat, but what is it?
 
2014-05-10 05:30:34 PM  
LORDI!
 
2014-05-10 05:30:55 PM  
The Lordi segment was actually funny.
 
2014-05-10 05:31:42 PM  
Meanwhile...

pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-05-10 05:32:36 PM  
Bacon IS NEVER a mistake, woman!
 
2014-05-10 05:33:23 PM  
The Danish hostess is creepy skinny.
 
2014-05-10 05:33:58 PM  
There's bacon in the cake!
 
2014-05-10 05:34:12 PM  
HUGE mistake giving Mollie a cake there. Fifteen un-points later and it's all in her belly.
 
2014-05-10 05:34:17 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: stanhapsburg: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Before we get to the results, and since we have a lot of Europeans in this thread, I want to let you all know that the annual EuroFark party is going to be the weekend of Oct. 3.5 in Prague.

Thanks for the reminder. Maybe I can finally make it this year.

If you're on over there, we have a Facebook page for it. My FB is in my profile.


I'm in the FB EF group already. The last few years i missed the party mostly because I had football tickets. But since a few hours I'm gonna have a Bundesliga-free year.
 
2014-05-10 05:35:04 PM  
Baconcake is a lie.
 
2014-05-10 05:36:20 PM  
Moustache salad?
 
2014-05-10 05:36:51 PM  
Sir Cumference the Flatulent
1. Austria by a mile
2. Denmark
3. Russia


Attention whoring, fun/dance and jailbait.
A solid pick.

During the 2nd summary, the Russian jailbait looked about ready to make out in exaggerated happiness, so I'm all for them receiving lots of points.
 
2014-05-10 05:38:10 PM  
Did I just see a woman's nipplybit?
 
2014-05-10 05:38:23 PM  
More shirtless drummers, camera guy!
 
2014-05-10 05:38:47 PM  

Cheesehead_Dave: Meanwhile...

[pbs.twimg.com image 720x960]


Back in a few. I'm frantically searching airfares to Warsaw.
 
2014-05-10 05:40:21 PM  

The Voice of Doom: Sir Cumference the Flatulent
1. Austria by a mile
2. Denmark
3. Russia

Attention whoring, fun/dance and jailbait.
A solid pick.

During the 2nd summary, the Russian jailbait looked about ready to make out in exaggerated happiness, so I'm all for them receiving lots of points.


Yeah, but Eurovision voting is so political that they are going to get nul points from at least half the juries.  Their only hope for points is popular vote and Russian-aligned eastern countries.
 
2014-05-10 05:43:33 PM  
Here we go.
 
2014-05-10 05:44:23 PM  
Oh, piss off Scott Mills.
 
2014-05-10 05:45:05 PM  
DemonEater
Their only hope for points is popular vote and Russian-aligned eastern countries.

And countries sharing an eastern border with Russia who want to keep it that way instead of sharing their western border with Russia.
 
2014-05-10 05:45:19 PM  
Oh no here comes the f*cking droning by all the vote presenters.
 
2014-05-10 05:45:58 PM  
Boooooooooooooooo!

Poor girls.
 
2014-05-10 05:46:36 PM  
Jailbait over legs. NOW KISS.jpg

If this gets to be Ukraine vs Russia..ouch.
 
2014-05-10 05:46:38 PM  
C'mon San Marino...
 
2014-05-10 05:46:53 PM  

sephjnr: Oh, piss off Scott Mills.


Whooooo
 
2014-05-10 05:47:11 PM  
AW over jailbait..
 
2014-05-10 05:48:12 PM  
Poland: I'll forget about Poland
 
2014-05-10 05:48:20 PM  

Cheesehead_Dave: sephjnr: Oh, piss off Scott Mills.

Whooooo


Insipid, plastic-sounding DJ. His radio voice drives me to sleep.
 
2014-05-10 05:49:41 PM  

sephjnr: Cheesehead_Dave: sephjnr: Oh, piss off Scott Mills.

Whooooo

Insipid, plastic-sounding DJ. His radio voice drives me to sleep.


Oh I know who he his. His incessant "who"-ing drives me nuts, especially because it's spread to some of the other DJs.
 
2014-05-10 05:49:53 PM  
Voting is all over the place right now.
 
2014-05-10 05:50:58 PM  
We got some points!
 
2014-05-10 05:51:19 PM  
Ten points from me to Montenegro.
 
2014-05-10 05:51:55 PM  
It's kinda odd seeing only one Balkan country in the voting. It's possibly one reason the playing field is more level.
 
2014-05-10 05:52:26 PM  
Hungary is #1 LOL
 
2014-05-10 05:53:09 PM  
I don't even remember Hungary. Must've been one of those that I missed.
 
2014-05-10 05:53:14 PM  
Child abuse is popular this year... just as well it's on the BBC.
 
2014-05-10 05:53:39 PM  
ooof Russia
 
2014-05-10 05:53:56 PM  
is the crowd booing Russia?
 
2014-05-10 05:54:28 PM  

The Bestest: is the crowd booing Russia?


Yes they are.
 
2014-05-10 05:54:39 PM  
Dutch Ryan Seacrest
 
2014-05-10 05:54:43 PM  
Russia gave top points to Belarus.
This is my shocked face.
 
2014-05-10 05:55:53 PM  

The Voice of Doom: I don't even remember Hungary. Must've been one of those that I missed.


He was the guy with the slightly dark skin. His father is an Afro-American musician from Detroit.
 
2014-05-10 05:56:42 PM  
Shut up Meg France, no1curr.
 
2014-05-10 05:57:07 PM  

The Voice of Doom: I don't even remember Hungary. Must've been one of those that I missed.


he was the guy that sprinted at the beginning of the song
 
2014-05-10 05:57:49 PM  
My (German) wife: With all the neighbor votes you see, Germany never gets any of them. We have so many neighbors.
Me: Yeah, but Germany invaded most of them.
 
2014-05-10 05:58:14 PM  
so.. what are the chances that France doesn't get a single point?
 
2014-05-10 05:58:33 PM  
traylor
He was the guy with the slightly dark skin. His father is an Afro-American musician from Detroit.


Ah, yes, the dude with the Rubik's cubes.
 
2014-05-10 05:59:14 PM  

The Bestest: so.. what are the chances that France doesn't get a single point?


I don't think they were Gemini-bad, so I think they'll get at least 5.
 
2014-05-10 06:00:15 PM  
I kinda liked France.......
 
2014-05-10 06:00:52 PM  
I'm surprised the constipated kicked puppy from Armenia is doing so well.
 
2014-05-10 06:02:42 PM  

sephjnr: The Bestest: so.. what are the chances that France doesn't get a single point?

I don't think they were Gemini-bad, so I think they'll get at least 5.



And they're off the mark - 1pt from Sweden.
 
2014-05-10 06:02:47 PM  
Smart-Casual Mask
 
2014-05-10 06:03:11 PM  
awww, Sweden with the combo breaker.. gave France 1 point
 
2014-05-10 06:03:22 PM  
"And here's Armenia, to spoil the mood of the evening by giving ten points to Russia and no points to Ukraine. One day, archive footage of this broadcast will be used in a documentary about the days leading up to World War Three, and it won't be any more interesting."
 
2014-05-10 06:04:13 PM  
What a Belarus surprise. But what stuff do they actually take?
 
2014-05-10 06:04:33 PM  
Sir Cumference the Flatulent
My (German) wife: With all the neighbor votes you see, Germany never gets any of them. We have so many neighbors.
Me: Yeah, but Germany invaded most of them.


Ask her if she's ever seen "Momo" - that somehow reminded me of the gray gentlemen's puppets: "DU WIRST MICH LIEBEN! ALLE WERDEN DICH UM MICH BENEIDEN!".
 
2014-05-10 06:04:33 PM  
..and Belarus gives 12 to Russia.. again.. shocked face.
 
2014-05-10 06:04:47 PM  
Graham Norton almost called the German telecaster a whore.
 
2014-05-10 06:06:26 PM  
I feel bad for the Russian girls. It's not their fault.
 
2014-05-10 06:07:40 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I feel bad for the Russian girls. It's not their fault.


img.4plebs.org
 
2014-05-10 06:07:44 PM  

Cheesehead_Dave: "And here's Armenia, to spoil the mood of the evening by giving ten points to Russia and no points to Ukraine. One day, archive footage of this broadcast will be used in a documentary about the days leading up to World War Three, and it won't be any more interesting."


Given Nagorno-Karabakh, I don't think anyone expected Armenia to support Ukraine over Russia.
 
2014-05-10 06:10:01 PM  
Oh right, Israel is in Europe...
 
2014-05-10 06:11:02 PM  
huh.. 12 to Austria from Israel is kinda shocking
 
2014-05-10 06:11:52 PM  
Fezes are out, bearded ladies are in.
 
2014-05-10 06:12:20 PM  

The Bestest: huh.. 12 to Austria from Israel is kinda shocking


Dana International would disagree.
 
2014-05-10 06:13:25 PM  
pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-05-10 06:13:30 PM  
Estonia 1 point for Russia. Is that like leaving a penny as a tip?
 
2014-05-10 06:14:07 PM  
Question to the expats here: Has anyone found any good way to explain all this to people back in the states?
 
2014-05-10 06:14:40 PM  

The Voice of Doom: Estonia 1 point for Russia. Is that like leaving a penny as a tip?


Was the 1 point Sweden gave France like a pityfark?
 
2014-05-10 06:15:39 PM  
ONLY EIGHT??!? We're sending the tanks back in next week you ungrateful farks.
 
2014-05-10 06:15:46 PM  
nope.. Moldova's votes weren't political at all
 
2014-05-10 06:15:50 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: Question to the expats here: Has anyone found any good way to explain all this to people back in the states?


Not one that doesn't entail the consumption of large amounts of alcohol.
 
2014-05-10 06:15:56 PM  
Estonian guy looks exactly like the Irish guy.
 
2014-05-10 06:16:02 PM  
Ukraine is not weak. Ukraine is ontoppa Russia.
 
2014-05-10 06:16:38 PM  

The Bestest: The Voice of Doom: Estonia 1 point for Russia. Is that like leaving a penny as a tip?

Was the 1 point Sweden gave France like a pityfark?


Finland have just doubled that tally. And chavved the whole thing up.
 
2014-05-10 06:16:52 PM  
France scores another point from Finland!
 
2014-05-10 06:16:53 PM  
A Finnish rapper?
 
2014-05-10 06:16:59 PM  
STOP IT, FINNISH RAPPER!
 
2014-05-10 06:17:29 PM  
The Bestest
Was the 1 point Sweden gave France like a pityfark?


Finland makes it a pity-threesome. One could do worse.
 
2014-05-10 06:20:48 PM  
'8 points go to............'- Tony Soprano
 
2014-05-10 06:21:15 PM  
No points from Spain to Germany. Did Mallorca pay a visit to Atlantis?
 
2014-05-10 06:22:07 PM  
30pts with 48 remaining... this is the clincher.
 
2014-05-10 06:22:22 PM  
Ukraine gave Russia 4???
 
2014-05-10 06:23:00 PM  
Cute. 12 points for Ukraine.


/nobody tell Femen I said that.
 
2014-05-10 06:23:38 PM  
Congrats, Austria!
 
2014-05-10 06:24:31 PM  
Vienna 2015!
 
2014-05-10 06:26:47 PM  
Just think, France, not only did you get only 2 points, San Farking Marino got seven times as many points as you.
 
2014-05-10 06:27:18 PM  
So Slovenia got the top 3 right.
 
2014-05-10 06:27:48 PM  
Okay, next Bond movie...
 
2014-05-10 06:27:53 PM  

ariseatex: Just think, France, not only did you get only 2 points, San Farking Marino got seven times as many points as you.


San Marino.. half the land area of Staten Island and 1/15th the population
 
2014-05-10 06:28:02 PM  
Mollie did quite well, but only one 'name' vote really stung.
 
2014-05-10 06:29:34 PM  
Peace and freedom- you know who you are.

Nope, no idea. Nope.
 
2014-05-10 06:29:50 PM  

sephjnr: Mollie did quite well, but only one 'name' vote really stung.


They did much better than in recent years. My wife and I though Germany would do better, but they got killed by having to follow Conchita.
 
2014-05-10 06:30:56 PM  

ariseatex: Just think, France, not only did you get only 2 points, San Farking Marino got seven times as many points as you.


France doesn't have to qualify though. They're one of the big 5, ie. paying the most for the show.

So, next year. They'll be there again. :P
 
2014-05-10 06:32:05 PM  

spawn73: ariseatex: Just think, France, not only did you get only 2 points, San Farking Marino got seven times as many points as you.

France doesn't have to qualify though. They're one of the big 5, ie. paying the most for the show.

So, next year. They'll be there again. :P


True.  Still should be embarrassing for them.
 
2014-05-10 06:33:02 PM  
I guess the results have spoken..

moustaches are out.. beards are in
 
2014-05-10 06:33:09 PM  

ariseatex: spawn73: ariseatex: Just think, France, not only did you get only 2 points, San Farking Marino got seven times as many points as you.

France doesn't have to qualify though. They're one of the big 5, ie. paying the most for the show.

So, next year. They'll be there again. :P

True.  Still should be embarrassing for them.


They're French. Haven't they suffered enough?
 
2014-05-10 06:35:34 PM  

The Bestest: I guess the results have spoken..

moustaches are out.. beards are in


What kills me is that I can't grow a beard that good.
 
2014-05-10 06:36:17 PM  

ariseatex: spawn73: ariseatex: Just think, France, not only did you get only 2 points, San Farking Marino got seven times as many points as you.

France doesn't have to qualify though. They're one of the big 5, ie. paying the most for the show.

So, next year. They'll be there again. :P

True.  Still should be embarrassing for them.


Not really. They seem to enjoy making a point about being French, and ignoring the current meme.
 
2014-05-10 06:39:55 PM  
As always, this has been a fantastically fun thread. I always look forward to Eurovision becuase of it.
 
2014-05-10 06:42:58 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: As always, this has been a fantastically fun thread. I always look forward to Eurovision becuase of it.


Same here. Greetings to all ESC farkers.
 
2014-05-10 06:47:32 PM  
I'm going to churn some butter... sweet dreams, farkers.
 
2014-05-10 06:49:01 PM  
www.quickmeme.com
 
2014-05-10 06:57:19 PM  
My biggest gripe: He/She didn't sing particularly well, on a not-particularly good song with a pretty boring stage show. Except for the center piece which is a petite dude in  dress.
That's it; a tiny and old-school gimmick. I don't know why it won and I'm quite sure I never will.
 
2014-05-10 07:12:10 PM  

stanhapsburg: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: As always, this has been a fantastically fun thread. I always look forward to Eurovision becuase of it.

Same here. Greetings to all ESC farkers.


Same here too. I didn't plan to watch this show but this thread was worth it.
 
2014-05-10 07:27:13 PM  

wickedragon: My biggest gripe: He/She didn't sing particularly well, on a not-particularly good song with a pretty boring stage show. Except for the center piece which is a petite dude in  dress.
That's it; a tiny and old-school gimmick. I don't know why it won and I'm quite sure I never will.


Didn't sing well? I'm not sure you were listening to the same performance I was.

AS for boring, the stage show IS boring for a song like that.
 
2014-05-10 07:36:11 PM  

wickedragon: My biggest gripe: He/She didn't sing particularly well, on a not-particularly good song with a pretty boring stage show. Except for the center piece which is a petite dude in  dress.
That's it; a tiny and old-school gimmick. I don't know why it won and I'm quite sure I never will.


Participating is more important than winning singing
 
2014-05-10 08:05:37 PM  

SonsoftheSod: I'm going to churn some butter... sweet dreams, farkers.


It's still early here. I feel like baking a cake.
 
2014-05-10 08:06:42 PM  

stpickrell: wickedragon: My biggest gripe: He/She didn't sing particularly well, on a not-particularly good song with a pretty boring stage show. Except for the center piece which is a petite dude in  dress.
That's it; a tiny and old-school gimmick. I don't know why it won and I'm quite sure I never will.

Didn't sing well? I'm not sure you were listening to the same performance I was.

AS for boring, the stage show IS boring for a song like that.


I'd go so far as to say that if you take the trans apsect out of the equation, and a typical female singer did that song AND crushed it the way Conchita did, she would have won too.
 
2014-05-10 10:03:22 PM  
Australia isn't even in Europe, FFS.
 
2014-05-11 12:14:55 AM  

Li'l Robbie: From what I've read about Eurovision, a Chicago mayoral election is handled with more dignity
and tact.  You may already know this, but politicking and snits of an international nature are rampant
in a contest that, ironically, is supposed to promote good will.  (For example, if  "Jacques Chellacques"
of France makes some nasty comment about  "Don Pedro Gonzales" of Spain during the year, you
can bet Spain won't give the French entry more than a Bronx cheer.)


That's why I caught the last 30 minutes only...just who dumps on whom?  Were the votes for Austria a vote for talent, geographical voting from the rest of Central Europe, or tweaking Putin's homophobic nose?
 
2014-05-11 12:27:06 AM  

Yamaneko2: Li'l Robbie: From what I've read about Eurovision, a Chicago mayoral election is handled with more dignity
and tact.  You may already know this, but politicking and snits of an international nature are rampant
in a contest that, ironically, is supposed to promote good will.  (For example, if  "Jacques Chellacques"
of France makes some nasty comment about  "Don Pedro Gonzales" of Spain during the year, you
can bet Spain won't give the French entry more than a Bronx cheer.)

That's why I caught the last 30 minutes only...just who dumps on whom?  Were the votes for Austria a vote for talent, geographical voting from the rest of Central Europe, or tweaking Putin's homophobic nose?


I'd say a bit of all 3.  The biggest strength for Austria was Western Europe.  Every county but Germany and San Marino gave them at least 8 points with lots of 12s.  But there was some significant support for Austria even in Eastern Europe.  Israel and Slovenia gave them the big 12, Georgia and Lithuania 10, Romania and Ukraine 8 points, Moldova 7 points. RUSSIA of all places gave Austria 5 points, and Muslim Azerbaijan gave 1 point.  They got goose eggs from Belarus, Armenia, Poland and San Marino.
 
2014-05-11 01:31:28 AM  
I know I'm late to this thread and just now watching the Grand Final show.

I'm at the cross dresser bearded guy and aside thinking that it's yet another bad song, I looked the name up and well, was very disappointed at what I saw.

I've caught up with Eurovision a couple of years ago as I never followed it but decided to go through the years and grab the decent songs for my music collection, and it's amazing how some years, there's virtually no really good songs.

And for this year so far, I'm hoping that from where I'm at, it will pick up, as so far, this is the worse year I think I've even listen to.

But knowing who the winner was... I'm in fear of wasting my time watching all of the songs that are left for me to see, as if that bland/boring song win, how bad can the losers be..

Then again, Sweden just started playing as I was typing this and so far, the best song/artist I've heard so far.
 
2014-05-11 05:18:52 AM  
Uh, when did Americans start giving a shiat about Eurovision?
 
2014-05-11 06:03:47 AM  

12349876: RUSSIA of all places gave Austria 5 points


One Putin's vote is worth 3 points
 
2014-05-11 01:32:17 PM  

ariseatex: Sir Cumference the Flatulent: ariseatx: You weren't kidding about these being Mumford & Sons clones.

Next up:  Danish Bruno Mars.


Way to late to the thread, but I feel it's only fair to point out that Basim was doing his stuff years before anyone knew what a Bruno Mars is.
 
2014-05-11 01:37:07 PM  

TheJoe03: Uh, when did Americans start giving a shiat about Eurovision?


When ABBA invaded and murdered all of those people sold all of those records.
 
2014-05-11 07:30:49 PM  
Far Too Late to thread, surprised it's not shut yet.
To answer TheJoe03, Americans on National Service or similiar, stationed in nations where Eurovision song contest is carried, is when America(ns) started giving a shuckey dern about it, when they rotated back to CONUS & couldn't see it any more -- except here!
We watched in WGermany & WBerlin back in previous century, 1970s when spouse's Ntl Svc was going full cry.  Missed it when we came back; but quickie visit to coverage yesterday landed on sole worthy stage-production bit, song with many multiple floating mustaches.  Wish had thought to do FastStone grab to preserve. Oh Well.
 
2014-05-11 08:10:58 PM  
The winner sounded like a Bond tune. Which is pretty much what Buzzfeed said. Now, I'm not a big proponent of Buzzfeed. But I think they were spot on with that. I'd see the next Bond movie if that was the theme song. :O
 
2014-05-11 10:19:46 PM  
I just realized you can get the voting results split into jury votes and televoting on the ESC website:
http://www.eurovision.tv/page/results?event=1893


Too bad that they only offer the aggregate and not a comparison of jury vs tele vs aggregate for the final result; they only offer that on a per-country basis. Could be somewhat interesting.
Like, if you look at the votes from UK, the UK televoters ranked the cleavage from Poland #1.
Despite that, Poland didn't get a single point from the UK, because the UK jury ranked Poland last.
 
2014-05-11 11:01:33 PM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: The winner sounded like a Bond tune. Which is pretty much what Buzzfeed said. Now, I'm not a big proponent of Buzzfeed. But I think they were spot on with that. I'd see the next Bond movie if that was the theme song. :O



I would want to see the theme song montage with those silhouettes - with at least one of them a bit fuzzy around the facial region.
 
2014-05-12 12:41:17 AM  

The Voice of Doom: I just realized you can get the voting results split into jury votes and televoting on the ESC website:
http://www.eurovision.tv/page/results?event=1893


Too bad that they only offer the aggregate and not a comparison of jury vs tele vs aggregate for the final result; they only offer that on a per-country basis. Could be somewhat interesting.
Like, if you look at the votes from UK, the UK televoters Polish immigrants ranked the cleavage from Poland #1.
Despite that, Poland didn't get a single point from the UK, because the UK jury ranked Poland last.

 
2014-05-12 12:55:11 AM  

The Voice of Doom: I just realized you can get the voting results split into jury votes and televoting on the ESC website:
http://www.eurovision.tv/page/results?event=1893



You've got me stuck looking around at this now.  Here's one that really stood out to me.

The common folk in Muslim Azerbaijan actually voted Austria THIRD behind Russia and Ukraine.  The jury had it second to last though.  There was something screwy going on with that jury because the maximum variance between the jury members on all the individual countries was just 4 places.
 
2014-05-12 01:52:58 AM  
Excellent finale .. and thank you all for sharing the season with me...

/See you in the next pony thread!
 
2014-05-12 02:18:57 AM  
Heh.. wrong tab... Oh well . This was good too!
 
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