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(CNSNews)   Let's have a nice round of applause for...Chlamydia   (cnsnews.com) divider line 56
    More: Sick, disease surveillance, United States  
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6994 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2014 at 10:52 AM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-10 03:12:09 AM  
c2.staticflickr.com
 
2014-05-10 09:12:43 AM  

i1123.photobucket.com

 
2014-05-10 10:53:14 AM  
 
2014-05-10 10:57:55 AM  
But I thought that gonorrhea was the clap.
 
2014-05-10 10:58:08 AM  
Oh, Lydia, oh Lydia, she gave men Chlamydia
Lydia, the naughty lady
Victims, guys unwise, the poor souls,
Tainted four souls, likely more souls..
Lydia, oh Lydia, for fifteen would diddle ya
Oh, Lydia's The Queen of bad screw
On her back, forty years, now she's sixty-two
Worked near army camps for the red, white, and blue
You can burn a lot from Lydia!

La-la-la...la-la-la
La-la-la...la-la-la

When her robe was unfurled - was infecting the world
Spreading STD's 'round Delaware
Her disease you can't see. burns to pee, gets itchee
No washes, just tosses her belly, there

La-la-la...la-la-la
La-la-la...la-la-la

Oh,Lydia oh, Lydia, you'll fall sick from Lydia
Lydia, the shady lady
If you've seen her, you need testing
On your bod, bad bugs are nesting
Lydia, Oh Lydia, she'll tempt ya' and titty ya'
Yes, Lydia's the cause of it all
Her two boobs are code blue, a bacteria mass,
Better save the Viagra, and tell her you'll pass
It's best to steer clear of this dangerous lass
You could get a rash from Lydia!

La-la-la...la-la-la
La-la-la...la-la-la

Vice squad set her up, and brought her down with a sting lay
Thought jail'd put an end to her bad bling bling way
But that drama mama, like some queen of thespians
Still spreads it - in jail, gives it to lesbians

La-la-la...la-la-la
La-la-la...la-la-la

Wears an orange jump suit, instead of lace nylon
And that suit's rightly named, female cellmates pile on
Tho' they stuff her with antibiotics,
Losing battle against her narcotics

La-la-la...la-la-la
La-la-la...la-la-la

Lydia, oh Lydia, the world can't get rid a' ya'
Oh Lydia still infects 'em all
She sneaks with male visitors, they think, a treat
Find out when they go, later on, itchy heat
The old gal goes down, but not in defeat,
This prison, ain't buried Lydia!

I said, Lydia...
(He said, Lydia)
Tough stays Lyrida
Tainted Lydia, la la !

la la !
 
2014-05-10 10:58:51 AM  
Christian News Service says sex is bad.
 
2014-05-10 10:59:04 AM  
Well, doesn't that just suck all of the fun out of anonymous unprotected sex in the bathroom of a bar or concert venue. On the upside at least you didn't get HIV.
 
2014-05-10 10:59:53 AM  
img1.wikia.nocookie.net

I'd clap her
 
2014-05-10 11:01:12 AM  
I don't think saying 1/3 of the population is accurate.  I'm guessing there are people who got it multiple times.  I'm more interested in how many people were infected.

/Being no way attractive to women has its perks!
 
2014-05-10 11:02:09 AM  
Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...

If she is unwilling or unable to prove she doesnt have std's and that she hasnt been treated 15 times for clap, then she is not dating/relationship material imo.
 
2014-05-10 11:05:44 AM  
Approximately 110 million Americans - more than a third of the entire U.S. population - were infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) as of 2008, the latest date for which figures are available, the CDC spokeswoman confirmed.


Jesus.
 
2014-05-10 11:06:54 AM  
Clap for the clap, but don't kid me about the Chlamydia
 images.savontv.com


I bought one of these, but it made the TV cut off when I smacked my biatch up.
 
2014-05-10 11:08:38 AM  
At least there's no downside to casual sex.
 
2014-05-10 11:09:46 AM  
i65.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-10 11:10:27 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...

If she is unwilling or unable to prove she doesnt have std's and that she hasnt been treated 15 times for clap, then she is not dating/relationship material imo.


It's always good to start demanding things before the relationship has even started.
 
2014-05-10 11:10:29 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-10 11:12:09 AM  

Gunderson: [Emma.jpg]

I'd clap her


Hang on, I think I've got an original of that...

i898.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-10 11:12:26 AM  
Chlamydia is a good name for a girl.
 
2014-05-10 11:13:27 AM  

generallyso: Approximately 110 million Americans - more than a third of the entire U.S. population - were infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) as of 2008, the latest date for which figures are available, the CDC spokeswoman confirmed.


Jesus.


Yeah. One in three 'mercuns is a festering font of fertilized filth. Mind boggling actually.
 
2014-05-10 11:14:54 AM  
 
2014-05-10 11:16:55 AM  

knight_on_the_rail: The more you eat the more you fart: Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...

If she is unwilling or unable to prove she doesnt have std's and that she hasnt been treated 15 times for clap, then she is not dating/relationship material imo.

It's always good to start demanding things before the relationship has even started.


I realize you were being sarcastic, but that's my point.

Proof or gtfo. There are new strains of std's that are incurable. Dying from the clap seems like a very very unpleasant way to go.

If a woman is insulted by my desire to stay STD-free, then she's not a suitable match for me in the first place.

In my experience, i only had one woman get insulted. The rest reacted positively..as in...here's a guy who actually gives a fark.
 
2014-05-10 11:17:15 AM  

oukewldave: I don't think saying 1/3 of the population is accurate.  I'm guessing there are people who got it multiple times.  I'm more interested in how many people were infected.

/Being no way attractive to women has its perks!


This.

Still can't get my knees to unclamp tho.
 
2014-05-10 11:19:34 AM  

knight_on_the_rail: The more you eat the more you fart: Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...

If she is unwilling or unable to prove she doesnt have std's and that she hasnt been treated 15 times for clap, then she is not dating/relationship material imo.

It's always good to start demanding things before the relationship has even started.


That's why I just slept with a friend. I had seen her test results while helping her move. Easy.
 
2014-05-10 11:21:29 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: knight_on_the_rail: The more you eat the more you fart: Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...

If she is unwilling or unable to prove she doesnt have std's and that she hasnt been treated 15 times for clap, then she is not dating/relationship material imo.

It's always good to start demanding things before the relationship has even started.

I realize you were being sarcastic, but that's my point.

Proof or gtfo. There are new strains of std's that are incurable. Dying from the clap seems like a very very unpleasant way to go.

If a woman is insulted by my desire to stay STD-free, then she's not a suitable match for me in the first place.

In my experience, i only had one woman get insulted. The rest reacted positively..as in...here's a guy who actually gives a fark.


I assume as you're making this demand you are handing her your test results?  I would also assume you make the request a bit more tactfully than you posted. I have no problem proving I'm STD free but I've had times where the potential interest insisted on me being tested but didn't feel they needed to. That door, it swings both ways.
 
2014-05-10 11:25:21 AM  
 
2014-05-10 11:25:55 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: knight_on_the_rail: The more you eat the more you fart: Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...

If she is unwilling or unable to prove she doesnt have std's and that she hasnt been treated 15 times for clap, then she is not dating/relationship material imo.

It's always good to start demanding things before the relationship has even started.

I realize you were being sarcastic, but that's my point.

Proof or gtfo. There are new strains of std's that are incurable. Dying from the clap seems like a very very unpleasant way to go.

If a woman is insulted by my desire to stay STD-free, then she's not a suitable match for me in the first place.

In my experience, i only had one woman get insulted. The rest reacted positively..as in...here's a guy who actually gives a fark.


Because condoms are hard to use.
 
2014-05-10 11:31:50 AM  
Phil McKraken:
Because condoms are hard to use.

They don't stop everything, and they can break or come off.

Hence why I have had the unpleasant experience of Plan B, which feels like a massive hangover. Woooo.
 
2014-05-10 11:32:33 AM  
Isn't one of Obama's daughters named Chlamydia? It's a very pretty name.....

/ I keed, I keed; please don't hurt me
 
2014-05-10 11:33:06 AM  

Fire Babe: The more you eat the more you fart: knight_on_the_rail: The more you eat the more you fart: Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...

If she is unwilling or unable to prove she doesnt have std's and that she hasnt been treated 15 times for clap, then she is not dating/relationship material imo.

It's always good to start demanding things before the relationship has even started.

I realize you were being sarcastic, but that's my point.

Proof or gtfo. There are new strains of std's that are incurable. Dying from the clap seems like a very very unpleasant way to go.

If a woman is insulted by my desire to stay STD-free, then she's not a suitable match for me in the first place.

In my experience, i only had one woman get insulted. The rest reacted positively..as in...here's a guy who actually gives a fark.

I assume as you're making this demand you are handing her your test results?  I would also assume you make the request a bit more tactfully than you posted. I have no problem proving I'm STD free but I've had times where the potential interest insisted on me being tested but didn't feel they needed to. That door, it swings both ways.


Yes on both counts...hence my "here is mine.." Comment.

I figure if two people are adult/close enough to discuss being intimate, then they are adult/close enough to discuss proving they are clean and dont have a history of repeated std's.

But yes..i am much mote tactful about it..but for brevity's sake...
 
2014-05-10 11:35:13 AM  

Phil McKraken: The more you eat the more you fart: knight_on_the_rail: The more you eat the more you fart: Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...

If she is unwilling or unable to prove she doesnt have std's and that she hasnt been treated 15 times for clap, then she is not dating/relationship material imo.

It's always good to start demanding things before the relationship has even started.

I realize you were being sarcastic, but that's my point.

Proof or gtfo. There are new strains of std's that are incurable. Dying from the clap seems like a very very unpleasant way to go.

If a woman is insulted by my desire to stay STD-free, then she's not a suitable match for me in the first place.

In my experience, i only had one woman get insulted. The rest reacted positively..as in...here's a guy who actually gives a fark.

Because condoms are hard to use.


Condom or not...im not farking anyone who has an std.

Your standards may be lower, but for me, a basic requirement would be "not infected by a sexually transmitted and highly transmissible pathogen"
 
2014-05-10 11:36:03 AM  

Nick Nostril: generallyso: Approximately 110 million Americans - more than a third of the entire U.S. population - were infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD) as of 2008, the latest date for which figures are available, the CDC spokeswoman confirmed.


Jesus.

Yeah. One in three 'mercuns is a festering font of fertilized filth. Mind boggling actually.


A little too mind boggling. They've overstated by a factor of 100. It should be per 100000 population, not 1000.
 
2014-05-10 11:38:43 AM  
This is why I stick to random cyber encounters.

/don't tell me she's not a hot 19-year-old
//it's real to me dammit
///three!
 
2014-05-10 11:39:01 AM  

ladyfortuna: Phil McKraken:
Because condoms are hard to use.

They don't stop everything, and they can break or come off.

Hence why I have had the unpleasant experience of Plan B, which feels like a massive hangover. Woooo.


Once had a guy hand me test results that were a little over a year old.

Buh-bye!
 
2014-05-10 11:46:57 AM  

thatguyoverthere70: Oh, Lydia, oh Lydia, she gave men Chlamydia
Lydia, the naughty lady
Victims, guys unwise, the poor souls,
Tainted four souls, likely more souls..
Lydia, oh Lydia, for fifteen would diddle ya
Oh, Lydia's The Queen of bad screw
On her back, forty years, now she's sixty-two
Worked near army camps for the red, white, and blue
You can burn a lot from Lydia!

La-la-la...la-la-la
La-la-la...la-la-la

When her robe was unfurled - was infecting the world
Spreading STD's 'round Delaware
Her disease you can't see. burns to pee, gets itchee
No washes, just tosses her belly, there

La-la-la...la-la-la
La-la-la...la-la-la

Oh,Lydia oh, Lydia, you'll fall sick from Lydia
Lydia, the shady lady
If you've seen her, you need testing
On your bod, bad bugs are nesting
Lydia, Oh Lydia, she'll tempt ya' and titty ya'
Yes, Lydia's the cause of it all
Her two boobs are code blue, a bacteria mass,
Better save the Viagra, and tell her you'll pass
It's best to steer clear of this dangerous lass
You could get a rash from Lydia!

La-la-la...la-la-la
La-la-la...la-la-la

Vice squad set her up, and brought her down with a sting lay
Thought jail'd put an end to her bad bling bling way
But that drama mama, like some queen of thespians
Still spreads it - in jail, gives it to lesbians

La-la-la...la-la-la
La-la-la...la-la-la

Wears an orange jump suit, instead of lace nylon
And that suit's rightly named, female cellmates pile on
Tho' they stuff her with antibiotics,
Losing battle against her narcotics

La-la-la...la-la-la
La-la-la...la-la-la

Lydia, oh Lydia, the world can't get rid a' ya'
Oh Lydia still infects 'em all
She sneaks with male visitors, they think, a treat
Find out when they go, later on, itchy heat
The old gal goes down, but not in defeat,
This prison, ain't buried Lydia!

I said, Lydia...
(He said, Lydia)
Tough stays Lyrida
Tainted Lydia, la la !

la la !


But at least you didn't take an arrow to the knee.
 
2014-05-10 11:50:17 AM  

lindalouwho: ladyfortuna: Phil McKraken:
Because condoms are hard to use.

They don't stop everything, and they can break or come off.

Hence why I have had the unpleasant experience of Plan B, which feels like a massive hangover. Woooo.

Once had a guy hand me test results that were a little over a year old.

Buh-bye!


Nope. 90 days or less...or go get another one done.
 
2014-05-10 11:55:07 AM  
 
2014-05-10 11:59:17 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: Phil McKraken: The more you eat the more you fart: knight_on_the_rail: The more you eat the more you fart: Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...


Condom or not...im not farking anyone who has an std.

Your standards may be lower, but for me, a basic requirement would be "not infected by a sexually transmitted and highly transmissible pathogen"



My ex didn't bother to stop me from catching herpes.  Hence, he is my ex.  I have been in relationship and married for over 20 years to my husband, and he is still clean.  It's called taking responsibility for yourself.  We have not use contraception in over 15 years, and maybe closer to 18 years.  The other STD's I realize are different, because I know when I are going to have a breakout, and we just chill for a couple of days.
 
2014-05-10 12:06:52 PM  
I caught Chlamydia when I was 25 years old, after a particularly fun night at the bar. I learned a few important things at that time:
1. Using condoms is not a 100% guarantee.
2. The horror stories and pictures you see of people's junk falling off are the .0001% of people that have contracted it. Normally the pictures are of people that do not bathe and refuse to see a doctor.
3. Felt slightly itchy, but didn't burn or anything else noticeable.
4. It is one of the weakest strains of bacteria in existence and is completely cured by even the lightest antibiotic doses.
5. Most women that carry it have no idea.

You are going to catch something once in your life gents, no matter how safe you are.
 
2014-05-10 12:16:28 PM  
I can understand someone being treated once..maybe twice in the past, as such things like "i was in a committed relationshio..but apparently i was the only committed one of the two of us" happens.

However, multiple treatments or multiple std's is a deal breaker for me, as it justifiably implies she isnt careful or has a history of farking trashy people, neither of which I find particularly attractive in a partner.
 
2014-05-10 12:24:38 PM  
 
2014-05-10 12:30:03 PM  
What's the big deal? You swallow a 500Mg Zithromax and call it a day.
 
2014-05-10 01:30:12 PM  

cherryl taggart: The more you eat the more you fart: Phil McKraken: The more you eat the more you fart: knight_on_the_rail: The more you eat the more you fart: Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...


Condom or not...im not farking anyone who has an std.

Your standards may be lower, but for me, a basic requirement would be "not infected by a sexually transmitted and highly transmissible pathogen"


My ex didn't bother to stop me from catching herpes.  Hence, he is my ex.  I have been in relationship and married for over 20 years to my husband, and he is still clean.  It's called taking responsibility for yourself.  We have not use contraception in over 15 years, and maybe closer to 18 years.  The other STD's I realize are different, because I know when I are going to have a breakout, and we just chill for a couple of days.


Your husband is almost certainly carrying HSV2. That's too many chances (I assume) over nearly two decades to spread it, caution with outbreaks or no. Lucky thing is that a large group of people simply never show any symptoms. HSV1 is in damn near everyone, but only a minority of people get cold sores - it's a similar situation with the below the belt strain, but the numbers are a little different.

Good for you guys though. Sorry about the scumbag ex, like there aren't enough of those out there.
 
2014-05-10 01:30:22 PM  
Ah, Chlamydia, I knew ye when ye were thought to be "Super Clap".
Over a long career you have indeed supported my employment and I for one shall remain grateful.

Now go get your farking HPV Vaccination, Fool.
 
2014-05-10 01:33:26 PM  

EvilAvatar: I caught Chlamydia when I was 25 years old, after a particularly fun night at the bar. I learned a few important things at that time:
1. Using condoms is not a 100% guarantee.
2. The horror stories and pictures you see of people's junk falling off are the .0001% of people that have contracted it. Normally the pictures are of people that do not bathe and refuse to see a doctor.
3. Felt slightly itchy, but didn't burn or anything else noticeable.
4. It is one of the weakest strains of bacteria in existence and is completely cured by even the lightest antibiotic doses.
5. Most women that carry it have no idea.

You are going to catch something once in your life gents, no matter how safe you are.


Umm no. I'm beyond 50 and I've never had an STD. And yes, I've had sex a few times with a number of different women. Safe and lucky.
 
2014-05-10 01:56:49 PM  
I planted a chlamydia and like a vine, it climbed up my lamp pole. Pretty flowers it has. I don't get the penis jokes.
 
2014-05-10 02:20:16 PM  
This is why I plan on being single. Forever. Too many men in my generation are psychopathic manchildren who don't take responsibility. Not to mention I live in a shiatty city (NYC)
 
2014-05-10 02:38:54 PM  
Chlamydi-who?

I can't keep up with all the new pop stars lately.
 
2014-05-10 03:16:25 PM  

Michic: This is why I plan on being single. Forever. Too many men in my generation are psychopathic manchildren who don't take responsibility. Not to mention I live in a shiatty city (NYC)


You must use a LOT of batteries...
 
2014-05-10 03:38:39 PM  

Michic: This is why I plan on being single. Forever. Too many men in my generation are psychopathic manchildren who don't take responsibility. Not to mention I live in a shiatty city (NYC)


Are they shocked when you make them use dental dams?
 
2014-05-10 03:43:35 PM  

The more you eat the more you fart: Thats bc there are some nasty motherfarkers out there.

Also the reason I am *highly* selective of who i date or enter into a relationship with.

Conversation goes like this: before anything of an intimate nature happens, I want proof. Here is my proof...

If she is unwilling or unable to prove she doesnt have std's and that she hasnt been treated 15 times for clap, then she is not dating/relationship material imo.


Still looking for the ONE?
 
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