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(News.com.au)   Dads: The perfect counterbalance to helicopter parenting   (news.com.au) divider line 138
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9668 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2014 at 6:26 AM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-09 08:17:52 PM  
Good points.
 
2014-05-09 08:21:34 PM  
Yeah, F*CK YOU MOTHERS. CLEARLY YOU ARE AT FAULT IN ALL OF THIS.

What a weird article. How about the cure to helicopter parenting is that all parents chill the hell out?
 
2014-05-09 08:30:50 PM  
Thanks Naomi!
 
2014-05-09 09:06:09 PM  

Rincewind53: Yeah, F*CK YOU MOTHERS. CLEARLY YOU ARE AT FAULT IN ALL OF THIS.


Actually, I think moms are usually seen as important. Sometimes, fathers are seen as little more as a wallet's appendage.
 
2014-05-09 09:33:46 PM  
Well if the AEI says so it must be true.
 
2014-05-09 10:02:54 PM  
Hyperbole aside, I see this between my girl and I. If we have kids, she'll be the lockdown, helmets on tricycles, don't let them play in the streets one.

I'll be the let them fall out of a tree once, skin their knees, let 'em ride their bike around the block guy.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-05-09 10:12:06 PM  

jaylectricity: I'll be the let them fall out of a tree once


You might rather let them skin their knees twice than fall out of a tree, but I'm pickin' up what you're putting down.

My dad, while operating within reason, was always encouraging me to take a risk.  "Sure, see if you can do that."  The unstated portion was "...I'll be right here."
 
2014-05-09 10:29:19 PM  

433: My dad, while operating within reason, was always encouraging me to take a risk. "Sure, see if you can do that." The unstated portion was "...I'll be right here."


I've had an indoor cat since 1999. When I met my girlfriend in 2007 she fell in love with my cat before she fell in love with me.

Now we have a yard and we'll let her out sometimes. I'm more likely to let the cat wander around the yard, then grab her if she strays too far. My girl wants to put her on a 25 foot leash.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-05-09 10:34:18 PM  

jaylectricity: . I'm more likely to let the cat wander around the yard, then grab her if she strays too far. My girl wants to put her on a 25 foot leash.


Compromise.  Remove one of the cat's legs.
 
2014-05-09 10:35:54 PM  

433: jaylectricity: . I'm more likely to let the cat wander around the yard, then grab her if she strays too far. My girl wants to put her on a 25 foot leash.

Compromise.  Remove one of the cat's legs.


Well she weighs 4.5 pounds and tires easily, so I'm not worried.
 
2014-05-09 10:48:50 PM  
just wait until you have kids of your own, it's a whole different universe
Yeah really.
 
2014-05-10 12:43:17 AM  

433: jaylectricity: I'll be the let them fall out of a tree once

You might rather let them skin their knees twice than fall out of a tree, but I'm pickin' up what you're putting down.

My dad, while operating within reason, was always encouraging me to take a risk.  "Sure, see if you can do that."  The unstated portion was "...I'll be right here."


When I was 12 or 13 my father watched me drill holes in a tree stump, pour 3 gallons of gasoline over it and in the holes, let it sit for 15 minutes while a vapor cloud slowly built up all around the stump, and then asked me what I was going to do to light it.  I told him I was going to shoot it with a flaming arrow like I saw on the Dukes of Hazzard.  Problem was, I couldn't keep the tip of the arrow lit after I fired it.  So after another five minutes, I lit a match and slowly walked towards the stump.

The gas ignited before I threw the match.  There wasn't a huge fireball that I remember, but there was a definite "whoosh!" and suddenly I didn't have any eyebrows, arm hair, or most of the hair on the front of my head.  The heat shocked me enough that I fell backwards.  The stump, naturally, caught on fire but did not explode like I had planned.

Ever the responsible parent, my father already had the hose out and he put out the stump while my mother was shrieking at him from the back porch.  Then he walked over and sprayed me with water even though I wasn't on fire and said "won't do that again, will you?"

To this day he maintains he knew I wasn't going to blow myself up because he had done the same thing as a kid, but I'm not sure I believe him.  The only other time he deliberately let me get hurt was when I built a four foot tall ramp out of cinder blocks for my bike and he told me they were going to fall down before I ever made it up the ramp.  I told him he was wrong.  He was right, but it was a lesson I had to learn for myself.
 
2014-05-10 12:46:58 AM  
This rings true in our house.  My wife has taught them how to be dependable, on time, study hard, and be honest.

I've taught them how to blow shiat up.

It's not just about dada- It takes a range of influences, regardless of how they're structured, to raise complete adults.
 
2014-05-10 01:03:18 AM  

Lsherm: 433: jaylectricity: I'll be the let them fall out of a tree once

You might rather let them skin their knees twice than fall out of a tree, but I'm pickin' up what you're putting down.

My dad, while operating within reason, was always encouraging me to take a risk.  "Sure, see if you can do that."  The unstated portion was "...I'll be right here."

When I was 12 or 13 my father watched me drill holes in a tree stump, pour 3 gallons of gasoline over it and in the holes, let it sit for 15 minutes while a vapor cloud slowly built up all around the stump, and then asked me what I was going to do to light it.  I told him I was going to shoot it with a flaming arrow like I saw on the Dukes of Hazzard.  Problem was, I couldn't keep the tip of the arrow lit after I fired it.  So after another five minutes, I lit a match and slowly walked towards the stump.

The gas ignited before I threw the match.  There wasn't a huge fireball that I remember, but there was a definite "whoosh!" and suddenly I didn't have any eyebrows, arm hair, or most of the hair on the front of my head.  The heat shocked me enough that I fell backwards.  The stump, naturally, caught on fire but did not explode like I had planned.

Ever the responsible parent, my father already had the hose out and he put out the stump while my mother was shrieking at him from the back porch.  Then he walked over and sprayed me with water even though I wasn't on fire and said "won't do that again, will you?"

To this day he maintains he knew I wasn't going to blow myself up because he had done the same thing as a kid, but I'm not sure I believe him.  The only other time he deliberately let me get hurt was when I built a four foot tall ramp out of cinder blocks for my bike and he told me they were going to fall down before I ever made it up the ramp.  I told him he was wrong.  He was right, but it was a lesson I had to learn for myself.


Dads.  What can you do?
 
2014-05-10 01:05:19 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

Because dudes never freak out over kid shiat like ever.....
 
2014-05-10 03:28:19 AM  
I was raised by my mom and never met my father and I turned out fine. Mostly.
 
2014-05-10 06:33:57 AM  

ScaryBottles: Because dudes never freak out over kid shiat like ever.....


Dads are why I've quit volunteering with my nephew's little league team. Chill out it's just a game
 
2014-05-10 06:38:44 AM  
Well, TFAuthor sure seems to have a problem with "feminists", but she makes some pretty good points. I nearly have to physically restrain my wife from doing things for our daughter that she's perfectly capable of doing on her own. Sometimes I think she secretly dreams of keeping the kid at home until she's forty years old.
 
2014-05-10 06:41:24 AM  

JoieD'Zen: just wait until you have kids of your own, it's a whole different universe
Yeah really.


How does this relate to TFA?

Are you saying that dads don't encourage independence more than moms, or are you saying that the world of helmets and toddler leashes is the natural way of things and that dads are hopelessly irresponsible and need to be kept away from children at all costs?
 
2014-05-10 06:41:38 AM  
I used to help my dad start the fire in the fireplace every day in winter.  I did this since I started walking, apparently long before I can even remember.  Anyway, Dad used to start the fire with a propane torch, the nozzle of which would obviously get extremely hot after use.  As he tells it, for whatever reason, I started helping him by picking up the torch by the nozzle one day.  I guess he didn't see me do it first, before the fire, when it was cold.  After the fire was lit and we were done, we were putting things away and before he could stop me I picked up the torch by the nozzle again.  It must have cooled significantly since I have no  scarring from the event, but I did end up going to the ER.

Mom's response? Absolute freak out.

Dad's response?  "Well, he'll never do it again."

As stated, I went on to help start the fire for many years afterward, eventually doing it all by myself starting around 6-7, and Dad was right.  I never picked up the torch by the nozzle ever again.
 
2014-05-10 06:48:08 AM  
I take care of my kids.
 
2014-05-10 06:48:39 AM  

jaylectricity: 433: My dad, while operating within reason, was always encouraging me to take a risk. "Sure, see if you can do that." The unstated portion was "...I'll be right here."

I've had an indoor cat since 1999. When I met my girlfriend in 2007 she fell in love with my cat before she fell in love with me.

Now we have a yard and we'll let her out sometimes. I'm more likely to let the cat wander around the yard, then grab her if she strays too far. My girl wants to put her on a 25 foot leash.


Nice cat allegory....

Guy has inside cat.
Guy gets inside girl, and yard for cat.
Girl puts leash on cat.
Guy becomes "the cat."
 
2014-05-10 06:53:09 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: ScaryBottles: Because dudes never freak out over kid shiat like ever.....

Dads are why I've quit volunteering with my nephew's little league team. Chill out it's just a game


Yes, those games would be better if the parents were REQUIRED to play their own game on the adjacent field and let the kids play by themselves.
 
2014-05-10 06:54:26 AM  
An article about fathers being a positive thing in a child's life?  How the fark did this get greenlit?  Must be trollbait.
 
2014-05-10 06:59:09 AM  

ScaryBottles: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 636x358]

Because dudes never freak out over kid shiat like ever.....


More like everyone else freaking out.
A meeting with more dads would have ended it with "Shut the hell up!".
 
2014-05-10 07:06:54 AM  

TopoGigo: JoieD'Zen: just wait until you have kids of your own, it's a whole different universe
Yeah really.

How does this relate to TFA?

Are you saying that dads don't encourage independence more than moms, or are you saying that the world of helmets and toddler leashes is the natural way of things and that dads are hopelessly irresponsible and need to be kept away from children at all costs?


Wtf are you on about? Children need both parents.
My kids were not leashed or helmeted.
 
2014-05-10 07:08:48 AM  

JoieD'Zen: TopoGigo: JoieD'Zen: just wait until you have kids of your own, it's a whole different universe
Yeah really.

How does this relate to TFA?

Are you saying that dads don't encourage independence more than moms, or are you saying that the world of helmets and toddler leashes is the natural way of things and that dads are hopelessly irresponsible and need to be kept away from children at all costs?

Wtf are you on about? Children need both parents.
My kids were not leashed or helmeted.


I must have misinterpreted the point of your comment. Carry on.
 
2014-05-10 07:14:06 AM  

Lsherm: 433: jaylectricity: I'll be the let them fall out of a tree once

You might rather let them skin their knees twice than fall out of a tree, but I'm pickin' up what you're putting down.

My dad, while operating within reason, was always encouraging me to take a risk.  "Sure, see if you can do that."  The unstated portion was "...I'll be right here."

When I was 12 or 13 my father watched me drill holes in a tree stump, pour 3 gallons of gasoline over it and in the holes, let it sit for 15 minutes while a vapor cloud slowly built up all around the stump, and then asked me what I was going to do to light it.  I told him I was going to shoot it with a flaming arrow like I saw on the Dukes of Hazzard.  Problem was, I couldn't keep the tip of the arrow lit after I fired it.  So after another five minutes, I lit a match and slowly walked towards the stump.

The gas ignited before I threw the match.  There wasn't a huge fireball that I remember, but there was a definite "whoosh!" and suddenly I didn't have any eyebrows, arm hair, or most of the hair on the front of my head.  The heat shocked me enough that I fell backwards.  The stump, naturally, caught on fire but did not explode like I had planned.

Ever the responsible parent, my father already had the hose out and he put out the stump while my mother was shrieking at him from the back porch.  Then he walked over and sprayed me with water even though I wasn't on fire and said "won't do that again, will you?"

To this day he maintains he knew I wasn't going to blow myself up because he had done the same thing as a kid, but I'm not sure I believe him.  The only other time he deliberately let me get hurt was when I built a four foot tall ramp out of cinder blocks for my bike and he told me they were going to fall down before I ever made it up the ramp.  I told him he was wrong.  He was right, but it was a lesson I had to learn for myself.


My dad sat and watched me stick a wire in in an outlet. Afterward he said the same thing to me as your dad. Learned my lesson. Both my parents let me use an axe when I was 6 years old to whittle away a tree stump in the front yard. Actually it was only a hatchet, but when you're 6, it's an axe and you're Paul Bunyon. I also had a gun at that age. I think it was a .38. I never had any bullets for it and don't even know if it worked, but I had a gun.
 
2014-05-10 07:17:52 AM  
i.kinja-img.com
 
2014-05-10 07:19:20 AM  
So, having two dad's = 210% better chances?
 
2014-05-10 07:19:31 AM  
An American Enterprise Institute report last month found, "Compared to teens who reported that their fathers were not involved, teens with involved fathers were 98 per cent more likely to graduate from college, and teens with very involved fathers were 105 per cent more likely to graduate from college."

Of course, the AEI does everything in its power to make sure fathers and mothers spend less and less time with their children as the AEI's crusade to bleed workers dry with harsher work, longer hours, and less pay.
 
2014-05-10 07:35:00 AM  

fusillade762: I was raised by my mom and never met my father and I turned out fine. Mostly.


Articles like this seem to ignore all the confounds that might explain the event or circumstance.

TFA asks: Do you want to make sure your kid gets into uni? Well, just pull this one lever.
 
2014-05-10 07:35:48 AM  
Is it just me, or does 'graduating from a university' not really seem like a meaningful thing anymore?  Maybe it's just my small social circle, but I know a lot of university graduates that don't appear to be any better off than those who didn't attend.  My sister has a four year degree and she works as a waitress.  My other sister skipped college and went straight to being a waitress.

Only difference is, the one that spent 4.5 years in school has student loans.
 
2014-05-10 07:38:06 AM  
As a dad I try like hell to let my kid experience being a kid! My rule is "as long as she doesn't kill herself we're good!" Her mom is a bit more protective but not much. Some parents are completely insane about protecting their kids.

CSB
Bike riding through the neighborhood recently, police officer driving through stops and asks my daughter where her helmet is. Little one replies "Daddy said I don't need one."
Officer looks at me, I smile and ask "Did you have a helmet when you were kid?"
Officer pauses, smiles and tells us both to be safe and have a nice day.

/Daughter will be 8 next month.
//The little shiat is fearless.
///I only fear the future teen years!
 
2014-05-10 07:48:40 AM  
What an informative article, I had no idea that having a father around in a child's life could be influential at all.

The black community in America is learning this the hard way.
 
2014-05-10 07:51:16 AM  
I'm so proud!

resources3.news.com.au

Next week, I'm gonna make a fortune when I sell her to that Saudi prince!
 
2014-05-10 08:02:00 AM  
My dad was always cool as shiat, but I never saw him much since 2001. Lived with him twice since, which basically amounted to me using, maintaining, and partying at his house and beachside condo while he flew off to some random country for a couple weeks at a time. I still had great times with him when he was around though, we used to do some awesome things together: travel the country, have road trips and motorcycle rides, and generally just see some really cool shiat. My life probably would have been great if my mother didn't reveal herself to be a raging sociopath and ticking rage bomb once she moved us a state away from him. She was controlling as hell and still tries to be even though I don't live with her. I'm still not on exactly friendly terms with my mom, but she lives right down the road and I'm kind of stuck with that. Dunno why I posted all of this, I guess I've just kind of been missing my dad lately and I can't afford to visit him.
 
2014-05-10 08:02:29 AM  
Dads - just don't get too involved...

http://martinspribble.com/2014/05/purity-balls-wrong/

This is all kinds of weird and creepy.
 
2014-05-10 08:04:53 AM  

August11: fusillade762: I was raised by my mom and never met my father and I turned out fine. Mostly.

Articles like this seem to ignore all the confounds that might explain the event or circumstance.

TFA asks: Do you want to make sure your kid gets into uni? Well, just pull this one lever.


More moms would keep dads around if they pulled the one lever, iykwim.
 
2014-05-10 08:05:18 AM  
I'm loving the "well, they'll never do that again" stories. My wife has heard that multiple times from me. They will be independent, they will take risks, and they will learn their limits. The goal, as I see it, is to prevent serious injury during the process.
 
2014-05-10 08:06:04 AM  
If your kid comes up to you and says "I want to make a cannon put of lighter fluid and this plastic tube I've found", and your response is anything other than " cool, let's do it together", you've failed as a parent and a human being.
 
2014-05-10 08:09:03 AM  

jaybeezey: What an informative article, I had no idea that having a father around in a child's life could be influential at all.

The black community in America is learning this the hard way.


How does it feel to be privy to a secret no one else seems to notice? You should feel proud. You have surely uncovered a conspiracy of nervous, effete liberals too embarrassed to say out loud what is clear to anyone who has ever met a member of this "black community". Only you, and a select group of your friends and colleagues, truly understand the inferiority of the black community. If you had a father, he would doubtless be busting his buttons with pride.
 
2014-05-10 08:11:15 AM  
Maybe it's just because I'm a female, but how can some of you honestly not care if your kid wears a helmet? Helmets save lives dangit.
 
2014-05-10 08:14:21 AM  
Oh sweet Jebus... "According to the American Enterprise Institute." Once you read those words you can rest assured that what follows them is complete nonsense. If anything the opposite is probably going to be true.
 
2014-05-10 08:14:34 AM  

ChubbyTiger: I'm loving the "well, they'll never do that again" stories. My wife has heard that multiple times from me. They will be independent, they will take risks, and they will learn their limits. The goal, as I see it, is to prevent serious injury during the process.


Cause and affect are important lessons.
 
2014-05-10 08:18:29 AM  
Having two involved parents typically produces better results than single-mother households? Really? You gotta be shiatting me.
 
2014-05-10 08:20:40 AM  

ChubbyTiger: I'm loving the "well, they'll never do that again" stories. My wife has heard that multiple times from me. They will be independent, they will take risks, and they will learn their limits. The goal, as I see it, is to prevent serious injury during the process.


When my daughter was about three, I had a terrible time teaching her not to touch the oven door. One day, I just let her do it. She has not touched the oven door since then.
 
2014-05-10 08:22:08 AM  

Rincewind53: Yeah, F*CK YOU MOTHERS. CLEARLY YOU ARE AT FAULT IN ALL OF THIS.

What a weird article. How about the cure to helicopter parenting is that all parents chill the hell out?


I'm personally a fan of the CTFD parenting.

Kid scrapes her knee? CTFD. She'll be fine.
Kid gets her feelings hurt by other kid? CTFD. She'll get over it.
Kid falls off bike learning how to rode without training wheels? CTFD and tell him to get back on it.
 
2014-05-10 08:23:57 AM  
Definitely true amongst most of the single mothers I know.

Seriously..some of them have 9 and 10 year olds that still sleep in the bed with them.
 
2014-05-10 08:24:31 AM  

JoieD'Zen: ChubbyTiger: I'm loving the "well, they'll never do that again" stories. My wife has heard that multiple times from me. They will be independent, they will take risks, and they will learn their limits. The goal, as I see it, is to prevent serious injury during the process.

Cause and affect are important lessons.


Not nearly as important as cause and effect, however.
 
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