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(Slate)   Let's publish a how-to article on stopping a wedding. What could possibly go wrong?   (slate.com) divider line 24
    More: Unlikely, false memories  
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7528 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2014 at 4:50 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-05-09 05:08:41 PM  
4 votes:
So, where's the article about "How to shut the fark up and mind your own business"?
2014-05-09 02:26:20 PM  
3 votes:
Readers Digest Condensed version of How To Break Up A Marriage:

ELAINE!  *pound pound pound pound pound* ELAINE! *pound pound pound pound pound*  repeat until fully SImon and Garfunkled.
2014-05-09 06:55:22 PM  
2 votes:

TrixieDelite: AttawaYawattA:
If you weren't in the reception hall, how do you know about the conversation between the the groom and the best man?

Because I remained friends with both of them.


I think if a marriage can't survive a trixie at the reception, it's not going to last anyway.

If you werent invited to the wedding because of the bride, you may not have gone full psycho by showing up at the reception in a catsuit....at least imho....but it's a little psycho
2014-05-09 06:40:17 PM  
2 votes:
Not going to lie to you, I thought Fark would have more train-wreck marriage breakup stories.  I love Trixie's story, I can't imagine there aren't more.

Won't somebody think of the thread and contribute their shocking truth of the time they walked into their Ex's wedding naked and ended the show?

/Loves drama, but at an internet safe distance thanks.
2014-05-09 05:42:49 PM  
2 votes:

snake_beater: TrixieDelite: I've never halted a wedding, but I crashed the hell out of my ex' reception. Showed up in a skin-tight black catsuit with just a scarf around my waist. All the groomsmen (and the groom) were downstairs with me in a matter of minutes. The marriage didn't last very long, and really, that's all I wanted. Just a little quiet retribution.

/hell
//fury
///scorned

Wow, what'd he do to piss you off that much?


TrixieDelite: Shedim: TrixieDelite: I've never halted a wedding, but I crashed the hell out of my ex' reception. Showed up in a skin-tight black catsuit with just a scarf around my waist. All the groomsmen (and the groom) were downstairs with me in a matter of minutes. The marriage didn't last very long, and really, that's all I wanted. Just a little quiet retribution.

/hell
//fury
///scorned

Ooh! Tell us the story, TrixieDelite!

/sits in front of you excitedly
//sucker for an interesting wedding story

The groom and I had dated off and on for 12 years. I thought for sure he was THE ONE. Our timing was off, though, and he started dating someone else. I begged him not to marry her, but it was too late--they were going through with it.

Since I wasn't about to stop the wedding and upset the bride, I decided that a little mind-farking was in order, and showed up at the reception site (a really nice restaurant). I asked the hostess to go into the reception and get the best man. She did, and he came out with his eyes wiiiiide open. This was back in the day of size 4 Trixie, with everything being exactly where it should be. And I was poured into a black catsuit with just a black scarf around my waist, hair done, makeup done...

He went back into the reception to get the groom (who was in the middle of pictures). The best man said, "You need to come downstairs with me right now." And the groom said, "I can't." And the best man said, "Dude, yes you can." And where one groom and one best man went, so did the rest of the groomsmen. 20 minutes later, the groom went back into the wedding with just the lightest trace of lipstick on his neck.

/bride found out I was there when she opened up the gift I had left for them
//even scorned women know to bring a gift when crashing a reception. What am I, a farmer?


If you just know there's somebody psychotic in the room, but you just can't figure out who it is ... it's you.
2014-05-09 05:19:10 PM  
2 votes:

TrixieDelite: I've never halted a wedding, but I crashed the hell out of my ex' reception. Showed up in a skin-tight black catsuit with just a scarf around my waist. All the groomsmen (and the groom) were downstairs with me in a matter of minutes. The marriage didn't last very long, and really, that's all I wanted. Just a little quiet retribution.

/hell
//fury
///scorned


Ooh! Tell us the story, TrixieDelite!

/sits in front of you excitedly
//sucker for an interesting wedding story
2014-05-09 04:56:49 PM  
2 votes:
Hire a woman with a small baby to object and accuse the groom of getting her pregnant and not paying child support.
2014-05-09 04:54:45 PM  
2 votes:
www.slate.com


apparently getting a blowjob from the bride to be in front of the husband to be is a good way to stop the wedding
2014-05-09 07:59:08 PM  
1 votes:

TrixieDelite: I've never halted a wedding, but I crashed the hell out of my ex' reception. Showed up in a skin-tight black catsuit with just a scarf around my waist. All the groomsmen (and the groom) were downstairs with me in a matter of minutes. The marriage didn't last very long, and really, that's all I wanted. Just a little quiet retribution.

/hell
//fury
///scorned


Bitter women can be really annoying until you how realize how utterly miserable they will be for the rest of their lives and then all is right with the world.
2014-05-09 07:47:17 PM  
1 votes:
www.slate.com
Frighten him by dressing like a Palestinian.

www.slate.com
Scare him off by pretentiously drinking tea like you're turning Japanese.

www.slate.com
Look at yourself. Are you too ugly for me? You're too ugly. Forget it.

www.slate.com
Take a hostile stance and argue about it.

www.slate.com
This joke has already been covered.

www.slate.com
Piss off the whole wedding at the last minute without any warning.
2014-05-09 07:28:38 PM  
1 votes:
Is it just me, or does the artwork look a little... familiar? Like the artist may have produced illustrative art for another wiki for other... relationship topics?
2014-05-09 06:59:11 PM  
1 votes:
ashinmytomatoes:

img.fark.net

easier for her to cause trouble at a wedding back in the day

digilander.libero.it
2014-05-09 06:51:13 PM  
1 votes:
img.poptower.com

Can you read body language?  Don't stop a wedding.

Just don't
2014-05-09 05:36:57 PM  
1 votes:

TrixieDelite: Shedim: TrixieDelite: I've never halted a wedding, but I crashed the hell out of my ex' reception. Showed up in a skin-tight black catsuit with just a scarf around my waist. All the groomsmen (and the groom) were downstairs with me in a matter of minutes. The marriage didn't last very long, and really, that's all I wanted. Just a little quiet retribution.

/hell
//fury
///scorned

Ooh! Tell us the story, TrixieDelite!

/sits in front of you excitedly
//sucker for an interesting wedding story

The groom and I had dated off and on for 12 years. I thought for sure he was THE ONE. Our timing was off, though, and he started dating someone else. I begged him not to marry her, but it was too late--they were going through with it.

Since I wasn't about to stop the wedding and upset the bride, I decided that a little mind-farking was in order, and showed up at the reception site (a really nice restaurant). I asked the hostess to go into the reception and get the best man. She did, and he came out with his eyes wiiiiide open. This was back in the day of size 4 Trixie, with everything being exactly where it should be. And I was poured into a black catsuit with just a black scarf around my waist, hair done, makeup done...

He went back into the reception to get the groom (who was in the middle of pictures). The best man said, "You need to come downstairs with me right now." And the groom said, "I can't." And the best man said, "Dude, yes you can." And where one groom and one best man went, so did the rest of the groomsmen. 20 minutes later, the groom went back into the wedding with just the lightest trace of lipstick on his neck.

/bride found out I was there when she opened up the gift I had left for them
//even scorned women know to bring a gift when crashing a reception. What am I, a farmer?


He ran off with another woman, so you dress up as Black Widow and give him the business at the wedding reception?

/remind me not to piss off my GF
//then again, given my tastes in women, I'd be dead if I tried
2014-05-09 05:35:20 PM  
1 votes:
www.slate.com

Anyone who dresses like the woman in this picture is obviously crazy, and not to be taken seriously.
2014-05-09 05:34:39 PM  
1 votes:
media.tumblr.com
2014-05-09 05:31:20 PM  
1 votes:

Shedim: TrixieDelite: I've never halted a wedding, but I crashed the hell out of my ex' reception. Showed up in a skin-tight black catsuit with just a scarf around my waist. All the groomsmen (and the groom) were downstairs with me in a matter of minutes. The marriage didn't last very long, and really, that's all I wanted. Just a little quiet retribution.

/hell
//fury
///scorned

Ooh! Tell us the story, TrixieDelite!

/sits in front of you excitedly
//sucker for an interesting wedding story


The groom and I had dated off and on for 12 years. I thought for sure he was THE ONE. Our timing was off, though, and he started dating someone else. I begged him not to marry her, but it was too late--they were going through with it.

Since I wasn't about to stop the wedding and upset the bride, I decided that a little mind-farking was in order, and showed up at the reception site (a really nice restaurant). I asked the hostess to go into the reception and get the best man. She did, and he came out with his eyes wiiiiide open. This was back in the day of size 4 Trixie, with everything being exactly where it should be. And I was poured into a black catsuit with just a black scarf around my waist, hair done, makeup done...

He went back into the reception to get the groom (who was in the middle of pictures). The best man said, "You need to come downstairs with me right now." And the groom said, "I can't." And the best man said, "Dude, yes you can." And where one groom and one best man went, so did the rest of the groomsmen. 20 minutes later, the groom went back into the wedding with just the lightest trace of lipstick on his neck.

/bride found out I was there when she opened up the gift I had left for them
//even scorned women know to bring a gift when crashing a reception. What am I, a farmer?
2014-05-09 05:18:51 PM  
1 votes:

Tillmaster: SnakeLee: I've been to a few weddings now and I've never seen anybody put in the "does anybody have any objections" part, even at the big traditional, super formal ones that seem like they're out of a history book.  People have asked me to officiate weddings in the future, so I am not only going to have that part, I'm going to leave a really long silence after I say it.

Add the auctioneer bit: "going once (look round) ..... going twice .....Bonk! (if no gavel available, just say the word).


YUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!
2014-05-09 05:13:37 PM  
1 votes:
I've never halted a wedding, but I crashed the hell out of my ex' reception. Showed up in a skin-tight black catsuit with just a scarf around my waist. All the groomsmen (and the groom) were downstairs with me in a matter of minutes. The marriage didn't last very long, and really, that's all I wanted. Just a little quiet retribution.

/hell
//fury
///scorned
2014-05-09 05:10:40 PM  
1 votes:

SnakeLee: I've been to a few weddings now and I've never seen anybody put in the "does anybody have any objections" part, even at the big traditional, super formal ones that seem like they're out of a history book.  People have asked me to officiate weddings in the future, so I am not only going to have that part, I'm going to leave a really long silence after I say it.


Actually, I think it's only in there (if it is) as a leftover from the days when somebody might be already married, or too close of a relative to marry, things like that, that were legal barriers to the wedding, that might not be easily verifiable.  It wasn't for "oh, he's just no good for her" or "she's a golddigger" and matters of taste or character.  No harm in leaving it in though.  When you leave the long silence, you may want to end it with "......Nobody?  Really?" and then kind of a noncommittal shrug.  But whatever; develop your own style.  ;^D
2014-05-09 05:08:36 PM  
1 votes:

SnakeLee: I've been to a few weddings now and I've never seen anybody put in the "does anybody have any objections" part, even at the big traditional, super formal ones that seem like they're out of a history book.  People have asked me to officiate weddings in the future, so I am not only going to have that part, I'm going to leave a really long silence after I say it.


I'm officiating a couple weddings soon using the name "Optimus Prime Minister, and yes, the bride and groom (and groom and groom)  have excitingly agreed to even have that printed on the little greeting pamphlets at the wedding. I'm totally going to steal that idea.
2014-05-09 05:04:48 PM  
1 votes:

Super Chronic: The getaway car is good advice; after you've voiced your objections at the ceremony, you have to be gone in 60 seconds, either alone or with the bride or groom in tow.

Nothing else in this article seems to be any kind of earth-shattering wisdom.


It probably is earth-shattering wisdom to someone who is willing to actually do it.
2014-05-09 05:04:25 PM  
1 votes:

kvinesknows: [www.slate.com image 590x443]


apparently getting a blowjob from the bride to be in front of the husband to be is a good way to stop the wedding


LOL
2014-05-09 04:59:23 PM  
1 votes:
I don't know about stopping the wedding, but I've found it really easy to stop the reception with nothing more than a bottle of Jack and a pair of pants. Well, the lack of the latter really, but my point remains valid though subject to litigation in the State of Connecticut.
 
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