If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   What's going on with the situation in Ukraine? They're getting medieval now   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 46
    More: Weird, Ukraine, Russians, riots, football jerseys, riot shield, ambulance driver, city of Odessa  
•       •       •

6411 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2014 at 1:39 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-09 10:42:51 AM  
Where is Edward the Black Prince when you need him?
 
2014-05-09 11:12:42 AM  

BalugaJoe: Where is Edward the Black Prince when you need him?


Calling a  coupla hard, pipe-hittin' ниггерс, who'll go to work on the  товарищ  here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch.
 
2014-05-09 11:21:57 AM  
Is it St. Crispins Day?
 
2014-05-09 01:41:16 PM  
That's a good way to get a flesh wound.
 
2014-05-09 01:42:52 PM  
Run away!!!
 
2014-05-09 01:44:50 PM  
He's doing it wrong.  Putin wants him to get his head smashed in, so Putin can have excuse to send in glorious Red Army on peacekeeping mission.
 
2014-05-09 01:46:10 PM  
TFA: "Against the backdrop of a more peaceful protest up the road, one woman pointed to teenagers and said: 'Have a look on what they're doing...They're screaming filthy words while they haven't achieved anything in their life.'"

You kids stay off my ... riot?

I'm pretty sure it has more to do with the violence and less to do with the filthy words.
But who can begrudge an old for taking any excuse to blame everything on the youth?
 
2014-05-09 01:46:19 PM  
This keeps up, somebody's getting hit with a sword.
 
2014-05-09 01:49:45 PM  
Well... That was certainly unexpected.

Okay, now the rest of the cosplayers need to show up. We need a raging battle between people dressed as video game characters, robots, wizards, pixies, and sexy cat women.

This needs to happen..
 
2014-05-09 01:49:51 PM  
ic.pics.livejournal.com

I think that nice lady there needs to pull up her pants before throwing stones from sidewalks. Her thong is quite obvious

ic.pics.livejournal.com
also Medieval guy from a differernt photo
 
2014-05-09 01:50:09 PM  
The problem with chain mail is that it is flexibility.Without the right kind of padding underneath; chain can cut you up pretty bad. It's mostly to stop arrows and keep your limbs attached. The best armor is plate; but, plate is much heavier than chain and much less user friendly. Also, plate is much more expensive. Chain, backed with boiled leather, is a good substitute for plate. But, plate mail is a better one.

TL;DR version: chain is good when backed with leather, facing arrows; chain is not so good verses direct thrusts with spear or sword; or in this case, riot batons
 
2014-05-09 01:50:30 PM  
Someone get that man a shrubbery.
 
2014-05-09 01:55:11 PM  
THAC0?
 
2014-05-09 01:55:31 PM  
I came for an uprising and a LARP broke out.
 
2014-05-09 01:57:57 PM  

farkin_Gary: Someone get that man a shrubbery.


The Knights who say nyet?
 
2014-05-09 01:58:00 PM  

farkin_Gary: Someone get that man a shrubbery.


Ni!
 
2014-05-09 02:00:25 PM  
What's next? Burn all the Larches.
 
2014-05-09 02:02:36 PM  

iheartscotch: It's mostly to stop arrows


I don't even know about that. Think it's mainly effective against slashes, and even swords can thrust through it with the tip like arrows could.

None of this stuff, even those 1/4 inch shields, could stop small arms fire. As they should have already learned. But whatever makes them feel safer.
 
2014-05-09 02:04:08 PM  

iheartscotch: The problem with chain mail is that it is flexibility.Without the right kind of padding underneath; chain can cut you up pretty bad. It's mostly to stop arrows and keep your limbs attached. The best armor is plate; but, plate is much heavier than chain and much less user friendly. Also, plate is much more expensive. Chain, backed with boiled leather, is a good substitute for plate. But, plate mail is a better one.

TL;DR version: chain is good when backed with leather, facing arrows; chain is not so good verses direct thrusts with spear or sword; or in this case, riot batons


How about using more modern materials for padding under the chain mail? I'm thinking maybe cut up yoga mats or even that corrugated plastic that they make signs out of. Basically, a nice mostly rigid plastic layer that is still a bit flexible to spread out the impact and then modern foam underneath to absorb the blow.
 
2014-05-09 02:09:36 PM  
So... Trebuchets?
 
2014-05-09 02:10:09 PM  

nw_inferno: iheartscotch: The problem with chain mail is that it is flexibility.Without the right kind of padding underneath; chain can cut you up pretty bad. It's mostly to stop arrows and keep your limbs attached. The best armor is plate; but, plate is much heavier than chain and much less user friendly. Also, plate is much more expensive. Chain, backed with boiled leather, is a good substitute for plate. But, plate mail is a better one.

TL;DR version: chain is good when backed with leather, facing arrows; chain is not so good verses direct thrusts with spear or sword; or in this case, riot batons

How about using more modern materials for padding under the chain mail? I'm thinking maybe cut up yoga mats or even that corrugated plastic that they make signs out of. Basically, a nice mostly rigid plastic layer that is still a bit flexible to spread out the impact and then modern foam underneath to absorb the blow.


I'd probably ditch the chainmail and go for Ceramic plate and padded knife resistant clothing, though I don't know what is and isn't availible there. They still run into the issue where they won't protect you from blunt trauma(Like a police baton), but its lighter and better protection from projectiles.
 
2014-05-09 02:12:45 PM  

iheartscotch: It's mostly to stop arrows and keep your limbs attached.


FTFY.  Chain mail was never a good arrow stopper.  It can work OK against broadheads, especially from a weaker bow, but even the best quality mail is going to get penetrated by a bodkin-tipped arrow.
 
2014-05-09 02:14:24 PM  

BalugaJoe: Is it St. Crispins Day?


media-cache-cd0.pinimg.com

/always scares the clergy
//codpiece
 
2014-05-09 02:16:14 PM  

BalugaJoe: Is it St. Crispins Day?


I checked. Nope.

St. Crispin's day is October 25.

It commemorates the martyrdom of Saint Crispin and Saint Crispianus, who were twins, a two martyrs fur the price of one deal!

That's them tied to the tree near the middle of this painting:

upload.wikimedia.org
One of the things I love about British humour is the amount of liberal education that goes into some of the joke.

The famous St Crispin's Day speech from Shakespeare is parodied by a speech given by King Richard (Bryan Blessed) in the medieval series of Blackadder.

The Blackadder King Richard is not historical (Henry Tudor won the battle of Bosworth Field, at which Richard III was killed but not by Edmund or Edna Blackadder, IIRC and founded the Tudor Dynasty shortly thereafter).

Which was a shame since that put an end to a long run of my ancestors.

Henry Tudor was the husband of my second cousin sixteen times removed. Edward the Black Prince was my 17th Great Grand Uncle. Edward IV was my first cousin 17 times removed. But Edward III was my 18th great grandfather. I have a lot of medieval kings (England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, France, and so forth) but from the early modern period onward, it's almost all cousins and cousins of cousins. Phooey! I want to be the Pretender to the Throne. I had a good shot with Lady Jane Grey, but snicker-snack, they chopped off her head.

If you want to know what Edward the Black Prince is up to, my guess is to his neck in French booze.

The French have a toast "Voila un autre que les Anglais n'auront pas!" (Here's to another that the English won't drink!) It dates back to Unkie Black Prince. They also use the same toast with Boches substituted for English, but les Goddams were around a lot longer than the Germans, seeing as they occupied about half of France for centuries. They were also big in the Porto trade in Portugal.

I'll spare you my relationship to the House of Romanov (which was originally Danish) and to the Kings of Kiev in the Ukraine (which is through fat blond women with Princess Leia hair buns, some of them also Danish). As I always say, my ancestors found themselves on both sides of most wars, and some of them literally fought on both sides, switching mid-war because it seemed like the wise thing to do. They weren't all Italians, either.

One of my American ancestors fought under the command of General Benedict Arnold. And kept on fighting under the command of Benedict Arnold after he switched sides in a snit because he wasn't being properly appreciated. That was a big war for us. We were on both sides and moving around so much it is hard to keep track. Some of my Quaker ancestors fled before the War, during the War, after the War, and then ended up back in the States. In fact you need a genealogy to tell the Patriots from the Tories from the pre-Loyalists, and the Loyalists, and the Late-Loyalists, and the New Americans of Old American stock.

Crazy, man. Crazy. War, uh! what is it good for?

Note: I think that man in the green robe and the turban might be Blackadder's brother Harry. He's the one in the red tights.
 
2014-05-09 02:17:36 PM  
Oh well, after seeing the video, it was a nice change to seeing the Maiden people not wanting to hurt the police trying to separate the two groups.

Same policemen they were trying to kill a few months ago, but whatever. I hope the pay is worth it.
 
2014-05-09 02:20:20 PM  
 
2014-05-09 02:23:33 PM  

dittybopper: BalugaJoe: Where is Edward the Black Prince when you need him?

Calling a  coupla hard, pipe-hittin' ниггерс, who'll go to work on the  товарищ  here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch.


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-05-09 02:27:05 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uknukethefridge.com
 
2014-05-09 02:30:51 PM  

dittybopper: iheartscotch: It's mostly to stop arrows and keep your limbs attached.

FTFY.  Chain mail was never a good arrow stopper.  It can work OK against broadheads, especially from a weaker bow, but even the best quality mail is going to get penetrated by a bodkin-tipped arrow.


Of course, bodkin tipped arrows would do it. If I remember correctly, they were ment to penetrate plate. Maybe I'm thinking of silk; I've heard, from several dubious sources, that Mongolians wore silk clothes so they'd have an easier time of pulling arrows out.

/ I've really need to refresh my medieval battle knowledge; the last time I legitimately studied anything about the crusades and such was in Sr. Dorothy's class. Although, I'm pretty sure she derived all of her accounts from first hand experience
 
2014-05-09 02:31:04 PM  
I'm not convinced that the guy in the armour is wearing it for protection. As I recall, armour was pretty useless against bullets and even arrows. The English long bow can take down a knight in chain mail from a safe distance (as much as 100 yards with a good back wind).

He looks to me like 1) a guy who is trying hard to go viral--as apposed to Putin, who is trying hard to go viril) or 2) a cos-player. My guess is that he would be prettty useless in battle. Guns. But even knives.

Don't bring a sword to a tank battle.

I saw a suit of armour in a local museum. It was child-sized. Mind you, the guy who wore it may have been small for his age--say 14. But even so, people were tiny in the middle ages. No wonder there are so many giants in folklore and history. Anybody of normal size for a modern Dutch man would seem a giant to these wee folk.

I have been reading about genetics and here's an interesting story:  when the Danes and Swedes invaded England just before the Normans, one of their leaders was nicknamed Ivar "the boneless". This is because he had a genetic disorder that prevents proper bone development.

This guy was such a smooth-talker though, that he co-led the Great Army that invaded Britain. They carried him into battle on a shield.

There is some disagreement as to the meaning of Ivar's epithet "the Boneless" (inn Beinlausi) in the sagas. Some have suggested it was a euphemism for  Snake-in-the-Eye). It may have referred to an incredible physical flexibility; Ivar was a renowned warrior, and perhaps this limberness gave rise to the popular notion that he was "boneless". The poem "]

Still another interpretation of the nickname involves Scandinavian sources as describing a condition that is sometimes understood as similar to a form of
"Of historical personages the author knows of only one of whom we have a vague suspicion that he suffered from osteogenesis imperfecta, namely Ivar Benløs, eldest son of the Danish legendary king Regnar Lodbrog. He is reported to have had legs as soft as cartilage ('he lacked bones'), so that he was unable to walk and had to be carried about on a shield."

There are less extreme forms of this disease where the person affected lack the use of their legs but are otherwise unaffected, as may have been the case for Ivar the Boneless. In 2003The Strangest Viking for
 
2014-05-09 02:35:12 PM  
Lost part of my cut-and-paste for some stupid reason. I hate the way that Wikipedia coding ruins cut-and-paste quotations.

Any hoo, Ivar the Boneless, whatever the degree of his handicap, was extremely handicapable with the long bow, which was the weapon of kings and princes. He didn't have to engage in close combat perhaps as he had people to do that for him. Which by circumlocution and run of river brings us back to the uselessness of armour against bullets and skilled archers.

One in the eye for King Harald, any way.

And William the Conqueror was another ancestor of mine, as was Robert the Good, aka Robert the Devil, and Robert the Fearless, and Rollo the Norse Man (Hrolf the Muppet).
 
2014-05-09 02:36:28 PM  

Guadior42: BalugaJoe: Is it St. Crispins Day?

[media-cache-cd0.pinimg.com image 240x186]

/always scares

terrifies the clergy

//codpiece
called, if memory serves, The Black Russian.
 
2014-05-09 02:42:13 PM  
I was hoping for a trebuchet,
 
2014-05-09 02:43:37 PM  

Zul the Magnificent: Guadior42: BalugaJoe: Is it St. Crispins Day?

[media-cache-cd0.pinimg.com image 240x186]

/always scares terrifies the clergy

//codpiece called, if memory serves, The Black Russian.


You are correct, sir.

/The Black Russian, indeed.
 
2014-05-09 02:49:21 PM  
Look at all those costumes and uniforms. This won't be perfect until a techno/electronica dance battle erupts.
 
2014-05-09 02:57:22 PM  

iheartscotch: dittybopper: iheartscotch: It's mostly to stop arrows and keep your limbs attached.

FTFY.  Chain mail was never a good arrow stopper.  It can work OK against broadheads, especially from a weaker bow, but even the best quality mail is going to get penetrated by a bodkin-tipped arrow.

Of course, bodkin tipped arrows would do it. If I remember correctly, they were ment to penetrate plate. Maybe I'm thinking of silk; I've heard, from several dubious sources, that Mongolians wore silk clothes so they'd have an easier time of pulling arrows out.

/ I've really need to refresh my medieval battle knowledge; the last time I legitimately studied anything about the crusades and such was in Sr. Dorothy's class. Although, I'm pretty sure she derived all of her accounts from first hand experience


An interesting resource that is perhaps the penultimate word on the subject is "The Great Warbow" by Matthew Strickland and Robert Hardy.

You  may be familiar with some of Robert Hardy's work:   In addition to being one of the preeminent experts on the English longbow, he's also the actor who plays Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic in the Harry Potter films.
 
2014-05-09 03:04:36 PM  

brantgoose: Any hoo, Ivar the Boneless, whatever the degree of his handicap, was extremely handicapable with the long bow, which was the weapon of kings and princes.


Is that a cultural difference?  Because French and English knights hated the longbow because it gave commoners a frightening superiority to knights, who theretofore had always enjoyed proving their God-bestowed superiority by cutting down swathes of largely unarmored, poorly armed, and entirely untrained peasantry from the heights of a thousand-pound, biting, kicking destrier and from behind the weight and thickness of plate armor.  Brave Sir Knights.
 
2014-05-09 03:08:14 PM  

Caffienatedjedi: though I don't know what is and isn't availible there.


Apparently it's chain mail.
 
2014-05-09 03:12:48 PM  

Guadior42: /The Black Russian, indeed.


An ironic omen.

/waits for the Fark irony police to arrive...
 
2014-05-09 04:31:57 PM  
Caffienatedjedi:

I'd probably ditch the chainmail and go for Ceramic plate and padded knife resistant clothing, though I don't know what is and isn't availible there. They still run into the issue where they won't protect you from blunt trauma(Like a police baton), but its lighter and better protection from projectiles.

Where are you planning to get ceramic plates in Ukraine? I was thinking more along the lines of armor you could scavenge from everyday junk. Maybe if you could sew you could embed thin metal plates (say 3 inch square or so) into old blanket material sort of improvised trauma plates. They should stop knives and would pad against batons to some extent. I don't think you have much hope of improvising body armor that would protect against bullets, but there doesn't seem to be that much shooting of protesters so you probably don't need it. Or just wait until one of the actual armed guys gets killed and loot the corpse for gear.
 
2014-05-09 04:45:17 PM  
That's way too much armor . All you need is a helmet and red shoes .

assets.explainthisimage.com
 
2014-05-09 05:12:00 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: Caffienatedjedi: though I don't know what is and isn't availible there.

Apparently it's chain mail.


It's probably not true chain mail. To be honest; it looks like the helm was a reject from The Lord of The Rings prop house.

It's more likely he's got a bunch of padding. Chain, while being lighter than plate, is really heavy.

We're talking an extra 30ish lbs; depending on the make and gage of the metal. Even the reproductions made from modern materials can weigh north of 30lbs. It takes training and conditioning to run around in armor all day.

/ It's probably more paper tiger; less Braveheart

// with a link to eBay http://www.ebay.com/bhp/chainmail-armor (copy/pasta)
 
2014-05-09 05:49:07 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: iheartscotch: It's mostly to stop arrows

I don't even know about that. Think it's mainly effective against slashes, and even swords can thrust through it with the tip like arrows could.

None of this stuff, even those 1/4 inch shields, could stop small arms fire. As they should have already learned. But whatever makes them feel safer.


When I did my training with the C6 GPMG we set up a target downrange to get an idea of how destructive such a weapon could be. We used a pile of cinder blocks and pieces of old tanks that were lying around (Pretty old base) to build a "knight". He had a shield made of >1" thick steel.

Cut through every piece of him like butter. When we went downrange afterwards to see the damage, it was astounding. One round would explode a cinder block. Another would sail through that steel plate like it's not even there. What was once a ~5' high steel and cinderblock knight became a small pile of warm rubble.

Granted they're not using that kind of weapon or ammunition, but yeah. What people think is bulletproof often isn't even bullet resistant.
 
2014-05-09 07:35:32 PM  

dittybopper: iheartscotch: It's mostly to stop arrows and keep your limbs attached.

FTFY.  Chain mail was never a good arrow stopper.  It can work OK against broadheads, especially from a weaker bow, but even the best quality mail is going to get penetrated by a bodkin-tipped arrow.


I seem to remember a tale in which during one of the many skirmishes between the English and the French, an English longbowman shot a plate-armored, mounted French knight in the leg.  The arrow pierced the armor, went all the way through the knight's leg, pierced the other side of the armor, and finally stopped after lodging itself into the knight's horse.  Which meant the knight was wounded, his horse was wounded, and he was pinned to his horse.

Of course, whether or not that actually happened as described is up for debate, but the English longbow was legendary for its armor-piercing capabilities.
 
2014-05-09 07:41:59 PM  
There are a ton of armorers in Ukraine. They do a bunch of work for the medieval recreation and medieval fighting clubs there. They do great work. That armor would be useless against firearms but the helmet would be great against clubs and rubber bullets. Ditch the chain and go with something like a 'padded jack' which was a bunch of layers of linen (up to 14) that were pretty effective against arrows and hand weapons.

The longbow was introduced in 1100ish AD... armour was worn for another 500+ years after its introduction. It was ineffective against padded jacks/maille/plate but was very effective against horses and lightly armoured folks. If it made peasants equal/superior to armoured folks you would've seen armour drop out of sight fairly quickly, in fact you see the opposite, up until you see pike blocks protecting folks with guns you see knights in armour.
 
2014-05-09 08:37:35 PM  
Welcome to Pullnywood;
Like Bollywood,
with moar cowbelle.
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report