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(Mother Nature Network)   As you sit at your cubicle perusing Fark under a soul-bleaching fluorescent light, your grandmother might be surfing, practicing archery, or cheerleading   (mnn.com) divider line 61
    More: Spiffy, fluorescent light, Fark, Katniss Everdeen, Sun City, ya novels, digital literacy, Lake Havasu  
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2125 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2014 at 9:03 AM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-09 03:43:44 AM
d2nh4f9cbhlobh.cloudfront.net
 
2014-05-09 03:53:35 AM
If your daughter gets teen pregnant like her mom, your grandma could be under 50.
 
2014-05-09 03:55:28 AM
I mean You could be a grandma by 30. So by the time the grandkid's on fark you'd still be under 50.
 
2014-05-09 04:40:58 AM
I doubt it, subby ...
 
2014-05-09 08:00:19 AM
My grandmother is doing none of those things. Sigh.

My mom and dad are retired and going on trips all over the place. Given how they saved to put all 5 of us through school I have no issue with how they spend their money.
 
2014-05-09 09:05:38 AM
My grandmother is 90, and across the room from me.  She's a bit too old to live alone anymore.
 
2014-05-09 09:06:42 AM
My mom is almost 70 and she just started waterskiing again.
 
2014-05-09 09:07:33 AM
All my grand parents are dead. So no .
 
2014-05-09 09:07:52 AM
I now have the image of a small urn of ashes on a surfboard.

/at least my imagination went with that grandmother rather than the other one that was buried 30 years ago
 
2014-05-09 09:10:13 AM

Alphax: My grandmother is 90, and across the room from me.  She's a bit too old to live alone anymore.


She single?
 
2014-05-09 09:12:53 AM
My granny died 8 years ago, and i don't work in a cubicle


/bad news followed by good news
 
2014-05-09 09:14:20 AM
The only thing all of my grandparents are doing is feeding the worms.
 
2014-05-09 09:16:10 AM
Well, the first part of the headline is true.
 
2014-05-09 09:20:49 AM
Super religious sister got married at 18, pregnant within a year.  Her oldest just got married at eighteen, and if his wife follows Mom's lead, she'll be a grandma before she hits 40.
 
2014-05-09 09:20:55 AM
1) Work really really hard when your young...
2) ... and then invest wisely...
3) ... then grow old...
4) ... then,  finally,you *maybe* get to do *some* of what you really wanted to do when you were young instead of working

This seems like a very nonsensical plan.
 
2014-05-09 09:21:40 AM
My grandmothers are water skiing the River Styx.
 
2014-05-09 09:22:08 AM
Granddad killed lions in africa, grizzlies in alaska, flew with Ameilia Earhardt, worked for Hoover in the FBI and argued in front of the supreme court.  But he's 101 now, I doubt he can still get up on his windsurfer.
 
2014-05-09 09:22:58 AM
As long as she doesn't fall off and break her coccyx.


i1.ytimg.com


Yes, that was the aunt.
 
2014-05-09 09:24:32 AM
I have no more grandmothers. I would go do whatever crazy activity they want just to spend that time with them.
 
2014-05-09 09:24:57 AM
I'd LOVE to do stuff like that but I'm broke.  Thanks Ogradma
 
2014-05-09 09:31:00 AM
oh ya, shes not earning $9.48 an hour either
 
2014-05-09 09:31:10 AM
It is possible, my grandma is crazy.

She also fought as a fighter pilot in WW2, dated the president of Hawaii (before it was a state) was a forging diplomat and Navy seal.

Thanksgiving is always a new story.
 
2014-05-09 09:31:13 AM

Clever Neologism: 1) Work really really hard when your young...
2) ... and then invest wisely...
3) ... then grow old...
4) ... then,  finally,you *maybe* get to do *some* of what you really wanted to do when you were young instead of working

This seems like a very nonsensical plan.


It's what my parents did.  Except for the get to do some of what you want, because they both died before 75.  It's why my husband and I waited to get kids until we got tired of stuff just for us.  Now, we're broke, the kids understand there is no money for college, and we expect them to take care of us.  Seems like as good a plan as any.  Three cheers for boomers!


Just stirring the pot
 
2014-05-09 09:31:25 AM
My grandparents are dead, but my parents are also dead.
 
2014-05-09 09:33:10 AM
Grandparents are dead, but my 85-year old Dad and 80-year-old Mom are off traveling through Japan and Korea right now.  Mom still works for H&R Block and Dad runs the grounds committee at the retirement community, which involves moving large amounts of heavy stuff around.

I have to admit my Mom couldn't get out of the water while trying to waterski last year, but then it had been 40+ years since she last did it.

You can grow old, but you don't have to grow into a lump.
 
2014-05-09 09:34:35 AM
My grandmother had a restraining order against her cheer leading when she refused to wear anything under her skirt.
 
2014-05-09 09:37:04 AM
i wish my grandmother was able to learn new things.  i mean she's smart and normal at the age of 81, but she is incapable of doing anything new.  my brothers and i tried to teach her some very simple party card games like loot and poo but she just could not grasp them, and these are games little kids can understand.  anything new that she hasn't done before just totally confuses her.  she can play poker, pinochle, bridge, whatever with no problem, but even a very simple child's card game like poo is just over her head.  it's like she convinces herself that the game is too complex because "young people" want to play it instead of traditional card games like poker.  she knows my brothers play video games like world of warcraft, so she assumes these little party card games must be as complex as that.  it's weird to me when old people get that way, it's like they are afraid of doing anything new at all.
 
2014-05-09 09:40:00 AM
DON'T REMIND ME DREW SHEEEEESH!
 
2014-05-09 09:46:22 AM
My great aunt is 99 this year, and she has decided that she doesn't want to go Para-sailing this year (which she has done for the last 15 years) for her birthday... because she wants to go skydiving instead. She is one incredible old lady.
 
2014-05-09 09:46:35 AM
Hey baby boomers, make sure you dry off the grocery cart if it's been raining outside.  And I expect a "hello" AND a "have a nice day!" When I'm out at the supermarket.  Take some pride in your retirement for goodness sake.
 
2014-05-09 09:46:49 AM

enderthexenocide: it's weird to me when old people get that way, it's like they are afraid of doing anything new at all.


It could be that they don't care and acting confused is an easy out.
 
2014-05-09 09:56:47 AM
Sounds exhausting.
 
2014-05-09 09:59:37 AM
My grandmother's still in prison....
 
2014-05-09 10:09:21 AM
Or she might be vomiting blood as demons hung like Tommy Lee are running trains on her 24/7 and giving her acid facials.
Don't pretend you know my grams.
 
2014-05-09 10:24:14 AM
I'll take the cube, thanx
 
2014-05-09 10:26:18 AM
Must be more room in that pinebox than I thought...
 
2014-05-09 10:28:12 AM
We had a guy house and dog sit for us once and my wife asked me to pull up his browser history because she thought he was kind of creepy and he had been on a site called grandma anal it was about as disturbing as you can imagine.
 
2014-05-09 10:28:56 AM

enry: My grandmother is doing none of those things. Sigh.

My mom and dad are retired and going on trips all over the place. Given how they saved to put all 5 of us through school I have no issue with how they spend their money.


My father talked more than once about our "inheritance."  I told him, "YOU (and Mom, but she was dead by then) earned that money, YOU spend it.  No one wants an inheritance, we want YOU."

/Orphan of many years, but I'm old, so does it still count?
 
2014-05-09 10:30:37 AM
So after retirement, Second Life? Furry Valhalla?
 
2014-05-09 10:30:59 AM
I did some of that shiat plus a lot of drinking all around the world when I was in my 20's. Managed to squeak out a computer science degree in between benders. God, coding is farking boring. So in my 30s I got a film degree and I'm doing what I love, with no intention of retiring. I pity the fools who work as drones with nothing but retirement in their sites. And not having kids probably helped a lot.
 
2014-05-09 10:32:48 AM

monoski: We had a guy house and dog sit for us once and my wife asked me to pull up his browser history because she thought he was kind of creepy and he had been on a site called grandma anal it was about as disturbing as you can imagine.


Please leave the thread - I was eating until I read that.
 
2014-05-09 10:34:37 AM

cherryl taggart: Clever Neologism: 1) Work really really hard when your young...
2) ... and then invest wisely...
3) ... then grow old...
4) ... then,  finally,you *maybe* get to do *some* of what you really wanted to do when you were young instead of working

This seems like a very nonsensical plan.

It's what my parents did.  Except for the get to do some of what you want, because they both died before 75.  It's why my husband and I waited to get kids until we got tired of stuff just for us.  Now, we're broke, the kids understand there is no money for college, and we expect them to take care of us.  Seems like as good a plan as any.  Three cheers for boomers!


Just stirring the pot


I plan to live and work (working is part of life to me... you have to do something productive with yourself) until I'm bored, give my possessions to the most awesome relative I can find, then find some creative and pleasurable way to die.  No sense in waiting to die if waiting is all you are doing.

/death by snu snu
 
2014-05-09 10:36:36 AM
My grandmother would be 116 years old, but aside from that...
 
2014-05-09 10:37:16 AM

Alphax: My grandmother is 90, and across the room from me.  She's a bit too old to live alone anymore.


Mine is 105 and has refused to get out of bed for the last 6 months.  I think these might be her last days :(
 
2014-05-09 10:46:40 AM

Evil Mackerel: All my grand parents are dead. So no .


Sadly, this.

/They still probably have a better social life than I do.
 
2014-05-09 10:50:44 AM

Muta: enderthexenocide: it's weird to me when old people get that way, it's like they are afraid of doing anything new at all.

It could be that they don't care and acting confused is an easy out.


Easier to steal books..

i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-05-09 10:52:57 AM
Somebody's granny plowed into me yesterday while driving her BMW suv the wrong way in a parking lot. She just threw her hands up in the air and sped off. Luckily I snapped a pic of her plate # before she drove away. farking oblivious coont.
 
2014-05-09 11:00:08 AM
She earned it; I'm still working on it.
 
2014-05-09 11:04:55 AM
Nope, they're both dead...
 
2014-05-09 11:04:56 AM

Fano: So after retirement, Second Life? Furry Valhalla?


"Furry Valhalla" is the name of my Scorpions cover band.
 
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