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(Daily Mail)   Godzilla is no match for the Incredible Hulk, Chuck Norris and George W. Bush   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Amusing, George W. Bush, Chuck Norris, Incredible Hulk, U.S. Air Force, Godzilla, Power Rangers, super strength, F-15  
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5294 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2014 at 2:17 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-09 12:12:05 AM  
I feel like a couple of JASSMs could bust a hole right through the big farker. And cloverfield and the kaiju too
 
2014-05-09 12:23:24 AM  
 
2014-05-09 02:20:14 AM  

charlesmartel11235: I feel like a couple of JASSMs could bust a hole right through the big farker. And cloverfield and the kaiju too


Any big organic critter should be easy to take down, if they breathe oxygen.  We outlaw chemical warfare for a reason, it's brutally effective.
 
2014-05-09 02:25:38 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: charlesmartel11235: I feel like a couple of JASSMs could bust a hole right through the big farker. And cloverfield and the kaiju too

Any big organic critter should be easy to take down, if they breathe oxygen.  We outlaw chemical warfare for a reason, it's brutally effective.


Well, the Oxygen Destroyer was how they killed him the first time.

And JASSMs wouldn't be effective against the kaiju. The first two were nuked. Multiple times. That's why they built giant robots, because somehow they're less destructive to the surrounding areas. Which is why they built the first several dozen with giant nuclear power plants inside.
 
2014-05-09 02:26:15 AM  
This is hardly theoretical. I've read several history books where Hulk takes on Godzilla's cousin, Fin Fang Foom.
 
2014-05-09 02:40:10 AM  
As I understand it, the attack is on the United States, not Japan. Those F-15s won't be able to respond. It looks like it's going to be up to George W. Bush and the Hulk. Unless Godzilla goes under water, in which case the Navy will handle it. I seriously doubt that Chuck Norris will be of any use, and Bruce Lee is dead. I look forward to hearing from the Navy on how they plan to respond.
 
2014-05-09 02:43:04 AM  

red5ish: I look forward to hearing from the Navy on how they plan to respond.


I think they'll ask everybody else in the area to take care of the situation with their own ships, and if they fail or simply do not respond, then the Navy will begrudgingly say, "Fiiiiine." before dealing with Godzilla, while at the same time e-mailing their PR office to create a press release at how they are always prepared to deal with any eventuality.
 
2014-05-09 02:49:19 AM  
Define: overrated
See Chuck Norris
 
2014-05-09 02:50:17 AM  

fusillade762: Repeat?


Yeah. I think I'll be lazy and just reuse my last post.

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-09 02:50:35 AM  

palladiate: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: charlesmartel11235: I feel like a couple of JASSMs could bust a hole right through the big farker. And cloverfield and the kaiju too

Any big organic critter should be easy to take down, if they breathe oxygen.  We outlaw chemical warfare for a reason, it's brutally effective.

Well, the Oxygen Destroyer was how they killed him the first time.

And JASSMs wouldn't be effective against the kaiju. The first two were nuked. Multiple times. That's why they built giant robots, because somehow they're less destructive to the surrounding areas. Which is why they built the first several dozen with giant nuclear power plants inside.


I just dont understand why you couldn't just have a few planes fly over and drop MOPs on the things. GBUs can go through 22 feet of reinforced concrete and MOPs carry a payload 6 times larger. It's hard for me to imagine anything surviving that.
 
2014-05-09 02:52:39 AM  

charlesmartel11235: I just dont understand why you couldn't just have a few planes fly over and drop MOPs on the things.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-09 03:15:06 AM  

charlesmartel11235: palladiate: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: charlesmartel11235: I feel like a couple of JASSMs could bust a hole right through the big farker. And cloverfield and the kaiju too

Any big organic critter should be easy to take down, if they breathe oxygen.  We outlaw chemical warfare for a reason, it's brutally effective.

Well, the Oxygen Destroyer was how they killed him the first time.

And JASSMs wouldn't be effective against the kaiju. The first two were nuked. Multiple times. That's why they built giant robots, because somehow they're less destructive to the surrounding areas. Which is why they built the first several dozen with giant nuclear power plants inside.

I just dont understand why you couldn't just have a few planes fly over and drop MOPs on the things. GBUs can go through 22 feet of reinforced concrete and MOPs carry a payload 6 times larger. It's hard for me to imagine anything surviving that.


So...you can imagine a giant monster 350 feet tall that breathes atomic fire, but you can't imagine it having skin tougher than concrete?

The second word of science fiction is FICTION.

The believability problems begin when movies/shows inevitably break INTERNAL consistency.
 
2014-05-09 03:17:12 AM  
Even baseline Hulk could take the strongest, largest version of Godzilla--which it looks like the upcoming Godzilla is by a long shot. A pissed off Hulk would absolutely wreck him. He's lifted in excess of 150 billion pounds. He's thrown Fin Fang Foom to the Moon.  He's thrown punches so strong they sent concussive force across every dimension(universes). He's held tectonic plates together--plates weighing about 100 sextillions pounds. Each.

This is a silly plan.
 
2014-05-09 03:17:15 AM  
That's was... stupid.
 
2014-05-09 03:20:58 AM  
Old Godzilla was hoppin' around 
Tokyo city like a big playground 
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a bat grenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-fu
When Aaron Carter came out of the blue
And he started beating up Shaquille 'o' Neal 
Then they both got flattened by the batmobile
Before it could make it back to the batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave 
And took an AK-47 out from under his hat 
And blew Batman away with a ratatattat 
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Optimus Prime came to save the day

/ Better not be obscure...
 
2014-05-09 03:24:12 AM  
Chuck Norris is too busy hiding under his bed because of the thousand years of darkness.
 
2014-05-09 03:27:42 AM  

Norwegian Squirrel: Old Godzilla was hoppin' around 
Tokyo city like a big playground 
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a bat grenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-fu
When Aaron Carter came out of the blue
And he started beating up Shaquille 'o' Neal 
Then they both got flattened by the batmobile
Before it could make it back to the batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave 
And took an AK-47 out from under his hat 
And blew Batman away with a ratatattat 
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Optimus Prime came to save the day

/ Better not be obscure...


Hail Mr rogers!
 
2014-05-09 03:31:35 AM  

red5ish: I look forward to hearing from the Navy on how they plan to respond.


The Navy is way ahead of the other services when it comes to Godzilla warfare. They built the USS Zumwalt specifically for these types of situations. Let's see Godzilla fark with a magnetic rail gun.

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-09 03:37:18 AM  

phishrace: red5ish: I look forward to hearing from the Navy on how they plan to respond.

The Navy is way ahead of the other services when it comes to Godzilla warfare. They built the USS Zumwalt specifically for these types of situations. Let's see Godzilla fark with a magnetic rail gun.

[img.fark.net image 850x631]


Doesn't have a railgun yet.  I'm sure the other branches also have fun toys, if you include things they're planning.
 
2014-05-09 03:40:40 AM  

Fista-Phobia: That's was... stupid.


That's what the Daily Fail does best.
 
2014-05-09 03:42:30 AM  

Boo_Guy: Fista-Phobia: That's was... stupid.

That's what the Daily Fail does best.


They do other things?
 
2014-05-09 03:49:11 AM  

Emposter: Boo_Guy: Fista-Phobia: That's was... stupid.

That's what the Daily Fail does best.

They do other things?


Beer, meet nostrils.
 
2014-05-09 03:52:38 AM  
deborahjones.theworldrace.org
 
2014-05-09 04:07:18 AM  
From the victory of the USS Peacock over the HMS Nautilus to the signing of the surrender of Japan aboard the USS Missouri the United States Navy has been the first line of defense. Godzilla will be defeated and you may rest easy. Unless Godzilla climbs up on the land, at which point the Air Force will handle it.
 
2014-05-09 04:20:35 AM  
Someone on weed and LSD again?
 
2014-05-09 04:36:03 AM  

Norwegian Squirrel: Old Godzilla was hoppin' around 
Tokyo city like a big playground 
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a bat grenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-fu
When Aaron Carter came out of the blue
And he started beating up Shaquille 'o' Neal 
Then they both got flattened by the batmobile
Before it could make it back to the batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave 
And took an AK-47 out from under his hat 
And blew Batman away with a ratatattat 
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Optimus Prime came to save the day

/ Better not be obscure...


That sure sounds like an ultimate showdown.

/of ultimate destiny
 
2014-05-09 04:49:02 AM  

SwingDancer: Define: overrated
See Chuck Norris


Concur
 
2014-05-09 04:54:07 AM  
See the whole problem with all of what you are saying is, it is infinitely safer to just ignore him, let him wear himself out / get it out of his system and then go home than it is to start shooting at him and create a natural disaster worse than Chernobyl. He's a walking nuclear reactor.

DO NOT FIRE MISSILES AT THE ATOMIC WEAPON.

Leave it the fark alone and eventually it will go away. So you lose a few city blocks and a few hundred people. Big whoop when you compare that to the possibility of rendering the entire area uninhabitable for 100 years and giving everyone within 50 miles cancer. Not to mention the whole "he regenerates like wolverine on crack" thing.  So what if you gas him? He will heal. Blow some chunks out of him with a missile? Grats now the area is poisoned, radioactive and he healed the damage in about 2 min maybe less.
 
2014-05-09 04:59:20 AM  

ILoveBurritos: Norwegian Squirrel: Old Godzilla was hoppin' around 
Tokyo city like a big playground 
When suddenly Batman burst from the shade
And hit Godzilla with a bat grenade
Godzilla got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Shaq
Who proceeded to open up a can of Shaq-fu
When Aaron Carter came out of the blue
And he started beating up Shaquille 'o' Neal 
Then they both got flattened by the batmobile
Before it could make it back to the batcave
Abraham Lincoln popped out of his grave 
And took an AK-47 out from under his hat 
And blew Batman away with a ratatattat 
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Optimus Prime came to save the day

/ Better not be obscure...

That sure sounds like an ultimate showdown.

/of ultimate destiny


There's good guys, bad guys and explosions.
As far as the eye can see.
 
2014-05-09 05:52:32 AM  

red5ish: As I understand it, the attack is on the United States, not Japan. Those F-15s won't be able to respond. It looks like it's going to be up to George W. Bush and the Hulk. Unless Godzilla goes under water, in which case the Navy will handle it. I seriously doubt that Chuck Norris will be of any use, and Bruce Lee is dead. I look forward to hearing from the Navy on how they plan to respond.


Vegas, IIRC.  And at Vegas is Nellis AFB, home of Red Flag - the only place where, on any given day, there's more combat aircraft than there are at Kadena, not to mention a bunch of Allied birds as well and enough ammo to fight a couple wars.  Throw them at the big guy and it would look like the last twenty minutes of Independence Day.
 
2014-05-09 06:32:03 AM  
Zilla doesnt stand a chance against Chuck Norris. He keeps the Kracken in the Aquarium in his living room.
 
2014-05-09 06:59:16 AM  

Oldiron_79: Zilla doesnt stand a chance against Chuck Norris. He keeps the Kracken in the Aquarium in his living room.


I think you should lay off the Kracken.  ;>p
 
2014-05-09 07:14:11 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Oldiron_79: Zilla doesnt stand a chance against Chuck Norris. He keeps the Kracken in the Aquarium in his living room.

I think you should lay off the Kracken.  ;>p


???
 
2014-05-09 07:31:19 AM  

Oldiron_79: Danger Avoid Death: Oldiron_79: Zilla doesnt stand a chance against Chuck Norris. He keeps the Kracken in the Aquarium in his living room.

I think you should lay off the Kracken.  ;>p

???


It's a brand of rum.
 
2014-05-09 07:51:58 AM  
What exactly is Dubya going to do, pose in front of a "Mission Accomplished" sign while Godzilla stomps on by?
 
2014-05-09 07:56:55 AM  

RobSeace: What exactly is Dubya going to do, pose in front of a "Mission Accomplished" sign while Godzilla stomps on by?


He and Cheney will force lightning Zilla.
 
2014-05-09 08:05:26 AM  
Bush is gonna syphon the oil out of Godzilla's ass...
 
2014-05-09 08:14:23 AM  
Even Godzilla is powerless against sex, drugs and rock & roll
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-05-09 08:34:09 AM  

robohobo: Even baseline Hulk could take the strongest, largest version of Godzilla--which it looks like the upcoming Godzilla is by a long shot. A pissed off Hulk would absolutely wreck him. He's lifted in excess of 150 billion pounds. He's thrown Fin Fang Foom to the Moon.  He's thrown punches so strong they sent concussive force across every dimension(universes). He's held tectonic plates together--plates weighing about 100 sextillions pounds. Each.

This is a silly plan.


Hell the Hulk can even beat Superman. But not Mighty Mouse, because he's just a cartoon you wet end.
 
2014-05-09 08:41:34 AM  
Superpowered USAF Pararescue?

static.squarespace.com

Works for me.
 
2014-05-09 08:48:46 AM  
2/3 of that crack team are probably ON crack, and the third is fictional.
 
2014-05-09 09:01:59 AM  
Where's the right wing outrage on how much this cost the taxpayers?
 
2014-05-09 09:57:21 AM  
4000 segways with slingshots - sounds like a flash mob gone wrong
 
2014-05-09 10:32:05 AM  

robohobo: Even baseline Hulk could take the strongest, largest version of Godzilla--which it looks like the upcoming Godzilla is by a long shot. A pissed off Hulk would absolutely wreck him. He's lifted in excess of 150 billion pounds. He's thrown Fin Fang Foom to the Moon.  He's thrown punches so strong they sent concussive force across every dimension(universes). He's held tectonic plates together--plates weighing about 100 sextillions pounds. Each.

This is a silly plan.


Dunno man.

Godzilla's fought Hercules:
static.comicvine.com

Thor:
media.animevice.com

Avengers + Fantastic Four + SHIELD:
4.bp.blogspot.com

And this was Godzilla at his 70s nadir -- probably the least powerful iteration of Godzilla.

The Final Wars Godzilla basically stood off the combined forces of all the world's other monsters, a full-scale alien invasion, and the Japanese equivalent of SHIELD, at the same time, and walked away mostly unscathed.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-09 10:58:38 AM  

Circusdog320: Where's the right wing outrage on how much this cost the taxpayers?


That's about the only spending the right wing likes. I think you should be looking for the left wing outrage, as that's the only part of government they hate expanding or paying for.
 
2014-05-09 11:35:25 AM  
media1.break.com
 
2014-05-09 11:42:37 AM  

blatz514: [media1.break.com image 500x801]


I've been examining that picture for 5 minutes and have no idea what it has to do with Godzilla
 
2014-05-09 12:00:34 PM  

SuperChuck: blatz514: [media1.break.com image 500x801]

I've been examining that picture for 5 minutes and have no idea what it has to do with Godzilla


Perhaps I can be of some assistance.

You need to unskew the pixels.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-09 12:04:06 PM  
I feel like adding W. to the team drops the badass average down to a first grade basketball team.  You know, with the short hoops and "no defense" as a rule, not just Barkley's preference.
 
2014-05-09 12:26:37 PM  

jimmydageek: I feel like adding W. to the team drops the badass average down to a first grade basketball team.  You know, with the short hoops and "no defense" as a rule, not just Barkley's preference.


Actually, Barkley's got a decent track record against Big G:

i1.ytimg.com
 
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