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(Sun Sentinel)   Police say a man who drove into a canal was distracted due to the presence of his half-naked wife gyrating on his lap while he was driving   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 52
    More: Florida, Old Wife, canals, lap, Palm Beach County, speeding  
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6827 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2014 at 4:33 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-09 12:29:13 AM  
A man, a plan, a canal -- PANAMA CITY.
 
2014-05-09 12:32:41 AM  
Wow, his wife sounds AWESOME. Too bad she's dead.
 
2014-05-09 12:54:22 AM  
So, he was driving a stick?
 
2014-05-09 03:50:32 AM  
She wasn't even hot


Solid State Vittles: A man, a plan, a canal -- PANAMA CITY.


Not even close
 
2014-05-09 04:35:53 AM  
At least she died doing what she loved to do.
 
2014-05-09 04:39:05 AM  

DrunkenYodaZen: At least she died doing what she loved to do.


The stick shift?
 
2014-05-09 04:43:12 AM  
7 month year old daughter?  Really...no second takes for the voice over?
 
2014-05-09 04:44:13 AM  

fusillade762: Wow, his wife sounds AWESOME. Too bad she's dead.


This.

Now THAT was a wife.
 
2014-05-09 04:47:21 AM  
www.seabreeze.com.au
 
2014-05-09 04:47:32 AM  

Boo_Guy: DrunkenYodaZen: At least she died doing what she loved to do.

The stick shift?


So I hear.
 
2014-05-09 04:49:29 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: So, he was driving a stick?


No, she was.
 
2014-05-09 04:49:55 AM  
Charging him with manslaughter and vehicular homicide is a bit much.

The guy's wife died. Nice of the cops/da to rub as much salt as they can into the wound.

Was it stupid of him? Yeah, but his wife knew and was probably just as high.

They have two young kids, and were probably just partying a little too hard on a rare "date night" and got carried away with the booze and weed.

While im glad he didnt kill anyone else, there are two kids who just lost their mother...putting dad in jail for killing her when it clearly was not intentional isnt gonna help anything.
 
2014-05-09 04:53:49 AM  

Bigdogdaddy: [www.seabreeze.com.au image 640x776]


I must have stared at that for five minutes wondering how it was relevant to this thread. Then I noticed there were some words down there.
 
2014-05-09 05:04:20 AM  
Idiots.
 
2014-05-09 05:19:11 AM  
Do not sext and drive?
 
2014-05-09 05:26:38 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: So, he was driving a stick?


His last words before he crashed were, "She's driving me nuts!"
 
2014-05-09 05:58:36 AM  
Heh. Stallion drive.
 
2014-05-09 06:21:56 AM  
Folks, let this be a lesson. Fecking and driving don't mix.
 
2014-05-09 06:25:02 AM  
What do you think was the last thing that went through her mind, besides the dashboard.
 
2014-05-09 06:42:35 AM  
Damn neared killed her.

Oh, wait...
 
2014-05-09 06:59:10 AM  
The wife

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-05-09 07:00:43 AM  

cretinbob: She wasn't even hot


So? If Mrs Arcturus did this sort of shiat for me I'd be one hell of a happy camper...  Sad to say, she doesn't...

The more you eat the more you fart: Charging him with manslaughter and vehicular homicide is a bit much.

The guy's wife died. Nice of the cops/da to rub as much salt as they can into the wound.


Cops are dicks in this one, the Prosecuting Attorney in this one is just as big of a dick. Nothing surprising, since they'll throw on all kinds of charges and see what sticks, and if he can't afford a lawyer, most charges do stick... That's kind of their M.O...
 
2014-05-09 07:11:18 AM  
Need a Cochrane to handle the defense "Did you tell her to climb on your junk?" I hope at least the guy got to bust before she died, otherwise "Awww".
 
2014-05-09 07:31:16 AM  

Arcturus72: So? If Mrs Arcturus did this sort of shiat for me I'd be one hell of a happy camper...


What, dying?

/Yet another reason we need to get self-driving cars into mainstream production!
 
2014-05-09 07:49:14 AM  

abhorrent1: The wife

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 498x411]


El Paso
 
2014-05-09 07:54:33 AM  

Bigdogdaddy: [www.seabreeze.com.au image 640x776]


The Woodman has already been here this morning, and now he's back!
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-05-09 07:54:37 AM  
Some states have laws prohibiting driving with a half naked gyrating wife in your lap. And then there's Florida.
 
2014-05-09 08:06:40 AM  
Getting a BJ while driving 65 on a straight highway was distracting enough.  I couldn't imagine having the wife crawling over for a conjugal.
 
2014-05-09 08:18:22 AM  

Solid State Vittles: A man, a plan, a canal -- PANAMA CITY.


Wrong end of the state.


Am I wrong to assume he was driving an Oldsmobile?
 
2014-05-09 08:20:18 AM  

Buggar: Getting a BJ while driving 65 on a straight highway was distracting enough.  I couldn't imagine having the wife crawling over for a conjugal.


My first car had a bench seat, second had buckets but no console. After that cars were much less fun.
 
2014-05-09 08:39:07 AM  

Ex-Texan: Need a Cochrane to handle the defense "Did you tell her to climb on your junk?" I hope at least the guy got to bust before she died got cold, otherwise "Awww".


/fixed that for fark
 
2014-05-09 08:56:14 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: fusillade762: Wow, his wife sounds AWESOME. Too bad she's dead.

This.

Now THAT was a wife.


I am sad about this as well, that is a hard lesson about DWI.  I feel sadder for the kids.
 
2014-05-09 09:06:38 AM  

lack of warmth: The more you eat the more you fart: fusillade762: Wow, his wife sounds AWESOME. Too bad she's dead.

This.

Now THAT was a wife.

I am sad about this as well, that is a hard lesson about DWI.  I feel sadder for the kids.


Indeed. Mom's dead so lets put dad in prison for as long as possible.
 
2014-05-09 09:17:05 AM  
On the long trips of my dating/married youth, I used to get this kind of action. Suffice to say, this was a LONG time ago, and that perk of membership has long since expired. Good memories, though. We managed to not die. We also were not drunk and/or stoned.
 
2014-05-09 09:26:40 AM  

abhorrent1: The wife

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 498x411]

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-09 09:44:19 AM  

itsaidwhat: Do not sext and drive?


Coming and going don't mix.


/Put it in Park before you Park it in her Rear.
 
2014-05-09 09:48:30 AM  
A little overkill on the cops department, who among us has't had a conjugal like the driver had ?
 
2014-05-09 10:06:47 AM  

abhorrent1: The wife

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 498x411]


Do you suppose he did it on purpose?
 
2014-05-09 10:08:27 AM  

Arcturus72: Cops are dicks in this one, the Prosecuting Attorney in this one is just as big of a dick


I think you're taking it a bit far.  I also would like to see leniency but you completely absolved the father of any wrongdoing.  And admittedly, the major reason I would like to see leniency is because they have kids but you have to admit, that means if you have kids, your crime isn't as bad or something stupid.

The more you eat the more you fart: Was it stupid of him? Yeah, but his wife knew and was probably just as high.


The very first thing you learn in driver's ed is when you're behind the wheel, you are 100% in charge and you are 100% responsible for everyone in the car.  I agree his wife knew -- yet he's still 100% responsible because he was behind the wheel.

I think what you're both forgetting is his wife is dead because he got drunk and stoned and behind the wheel with her in the car.  Their kids don't have a mom, she is dead entirely because of his actions.  That'd be the textbook definition of homicide.
 
2014-05-09 10:34:55 AM  

StrikitRich: Buggar: Getting a BJ while driving 65 on a straight highway was distracting enough.  I couldn't imagine having the wife crawling over for a conjugal.

My first car had a bench seat, second had buckets but no console. After that cars were much less fun.


Currently have a Prius C, all shenanigans are impossible.  Back in the 70's, I had a Opel GT and it was amazing what could be done, but, I was much more limber then.
 
2014-05-09 10:42:35 AM  

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: abhorrent1: The wife

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 498x411]

Do you suppose he did it on purpose?



Maybe he was trying to get away.
 
2014-05-09 10:44:33 AM  

abhorrent1: The wife

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 498x411]


Not out of the ordinary for a healthy long marriage with two kids.  I would hit it, specially if I did hit it before the two kids, even more so while being wild and adventurous like she was, and there is no way in hell you can say no to that while stoned or drunk.  However, the last part is where he really messed up his children's lives.
 
2014-05-09 10:55:59 AM  

AMonkey'sUncle: Danger Avoid Death: So, he was driving a stick?

His last words before he crashed were, "She's driving me nuts!"


... said in Popeye's voice.
 
2014-05-09 11:10:17 AM  
Cumming and going don't mix
 
2014-05-09 11:31:32 AM  

Solid State Vittles: A man, a plan, a canal -- PANAMA CITY.


No. if it was here he'd end up in the drink either at Deerpoint Dam or Cherokee Landing.
 
2014-05-09 12:34:30 PM  

cretinbob: She wasn't even hot


Solid State Vittles: A man, a plan, a canal -- PANAMA CITY.

Not even close


I didn't think I'd have to explain that it was a play on the very common (so I thought) palindrome "a man a plan a canal Panama" to this many people. C
For farksakes, it didn't even make any sense.
 
2014-05-09 12:37:41 PM  

Arcturus72: cretinbob: She wasn't even hot

So? If Mrs Arcturus did this sort of shiat for me I'd be one hell of a happy camper...  Sad to say, she doesn't...

The more you eat the more you fart: Charging him with manslaughter and vehicular homicide is a bit much.

The guy's wife died. Nice of the cops/da to rub as much salt as they can into the wound.

Cops are dicks in this one, the Prosecuting Attorney in this one is just as big of a dick. Nothing surprising, since they'll throw on all kinds of charges and see what sticks, and if he can't afford a lawyer, most charges do stick... That's kind of their M.O...


The law is the law, and when you break it, expect to be charged.
 
2014-05-09 12:42:20 PM  
Mary Steenburgen is one of those beautiful woman who rarely change or degrade over time. She might not be a ten but she will be an eight forever.
 
2014-05-09 12:58:17 PM  

StrikitRich: Buggar: Getting a BJ while driving 65 on a straight highway was distracting enough.  I couldn't imagine having the wife crawling over for a conjugal.

My first car had a bench seat, second had buckets but no console. After that cars were much less fun.


So much this. Hard to even get a crotch squeeze from the Gleewoman in our Highlander (it has a huge center console) much less anything serious. Not that I would condone anything of the sort while driving on the highway...


/don't try this at home
 
2014-05-09 02:12:30 PM  

abhorrent1: The wife

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 498x411]


Stop ruining a good fantasy
 
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