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(NFL)   Will Houston troll the league and pick Johnny Football at #1? Will Mel Kiper's hair move an inch? Who will be left awkwardly waiting in the green room? This is YOUR round one 2014 NFL Draft thread   (nfl.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Seahawks, St. Louis Rams, discussion thread, NFL, playbook, AFC East, Arizona Cardinals, Tony Romo  
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934 clicks; posted to Sports » on 08 May 2014 at 7:21 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-08 07:18:31 PM  
So is this the draft thread? Might want to get this sh*t on the sports tab soon.
 
2014-05-08 07:22:05 PM  
sobrul28 IS IN...wait.
 
2014-05-08 07:24:23 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

I wish our draft expert didn't look so damn confused all the time.
 
2014-05-08 07:25:45 PM  
Houston will troll Cleveland; no one else.

The Bills trade up and get Khalil Mack. He flees the country because he just spent four years here.

The '9ers trade up and grab Manziel, and put him in the backfield with Kapernick at the same time. Defensive coordinators find new careers.

More stupidity later; it's HOCKEY TIME.
 
2014-05-08 07:26:01 PM  
Not really going out on a limb, but one QB will be taken in the top ten. Manziel I would guess but not bet the farm on.

That and the Pats are trading out of the first round
 
2014-05-08 07:26:21 PM  
God no. I don't think it's hair, I think it's painted on. I'm guessing the QBs, I don't think any go in the top 10. And only 1 in the top 20, though several after that.

I hate when they pick in the middle. Never bad enough to get a high pick and not good enough to get steals late in the first. I'm hoping Dennard drops to them at 15, but it depends on who blows their pick on QBs (c'mon Browns take Manziel, he's your franchise guy).
 
2014-05-08 07:26:24 PM  
50/50 shot that the Seahawks trade out of the 1st round to replace the 3rd they traded to MINN. Only thing that gives me pause is that they've been openly yapping about it so much in interviews and press conferences the last couple days that they're probably planning on snapping someone up if conditions are right. Hell, with all the talk from Schneider about trading back, he'll probably end up trading up.
 
2014-05-08 07:26:36 PM  
How will Dallas screw this up?
 
2014-05-08 07:26:50 PM  
On a scale of 1 to Mel Kiper how badly will the bills screw their pick?
 
2014-05-08 07:28:05 PM  
Please not Manziel
 
2014-05-08 07:28:08 PM  

smerfnablin: How will Dallas screw this up?


Royally. Like, draft a punter bad.
 
2014-05-08 07:28:44 PM  

smerfnablin: How will Dallas screw this up?


Picking Jar Jar Bunks, of course
 
2014-05-08 07:29:33 PM  

Shame Us: 50/50 shot that the Seahawks trade out of the 1st round to replace the 3rd they traded to MINN. Only thing that gives me pause is that they've been openly yapping about it so much in interviews and press conferences the last couple days that they're probably planning on snapping someone up if conditions are right. Hell, with all the talk from Schneider about trading back, he'll probably end up trading up.


I would hate to play poker against Schneider man is the master of bluffing.
 
2014-05-08 07:29:35 PM  
So whats the drinking game?
 
2014-05-08 07:31:43 PM  
From the other thread:

Adolf Oliver Nipples: VonSchmegalton: Where is our NFL draft discussion thread?

I was wondering exactly that. I guess this is it.

VonSchmegalton: As a Texans fan, I would prefer to see them either get Clowney number 1 overall, or trade down enough to grab Sammy Watkins. Save the quarterback hunt for the second round.

I've been wondering why they haven't traded down. They don't need defense, they need a guy under center.


Trust me, I agree completely that the Texans need a quarterback. I just don't feel like they should reach for it with so many doubts about all of them. I'd go the safe route and go for best on the board, Andre isn't getting any younger. Also think of that triple threat at WR if they go the Watkins route.

08 May 2014 07:24 PM
 
2014-05-08 07:32:03 PM  

Altitude5280: So whats the drinking game?


Everytime someone boos, finish your beer. Good luck.
 
2014-05-08 07:32:29 PM  
I, for one, want a Clowney jersey in Battle Red.  Don't disappoint me...

/BULLS ON PARADE!
 
2014-05-08 07:32:48 PM  

Altitude5280: So whats the drinking game?


Drink everytime Johnny Maziel is not drafted and someone asks "Where's Poochie...er Johnny Football? Who's going to draft him? Why aren't we talking about him right now?"

Have someone available to drive you to the ER for alcohol poisoning.
 
2014-05-08 07:34:40 PM  
Ready the Brady Quinn Johnny Manziel Cam!
 
2014-05-08 07:35:44 PM  
I'd love to watch the NFL draft. But I'm all out of f*cks to give. And there's something else on. Anything else.
 
2014-05-08 07:36:06 PM  

Altitude5280: So whats the drinking game?


I liked this one:

Catch Phrase- One Sip

"Intangibles"
"Upside"
"NFL throws"
"Character issues"
"Raw"
"Franchise Quarterback"
"Undersize"
"Tebow"
"High Motor"
"Russell Wilson type"
Every pick until Teddy Bridgewater is drafted.

Player Specific Double-Sip When...

Sammy Watkins and speed are used in the same sentence, double if Adderall is mentioned.
Jadeveon Clowney'shiat on Vincent Smith is shown.
A.J. McCarron 's mom is shown.
Johnny Manziel's Manning QB Camp incident is mentioned.
Camp is compared to Wes Welker.
Blake Bortles' girlfriend (Lindsey Duke) is shown.
Michael Sam's "coming out" is mentioned.

Bottoms Up When...

Chris Berman creates a ridiculous nickname.
Drake is shown with Johnny Manziel, and wearing the gear of whatever team lands Johnny Football.
Jon Gruden refers to a player as a "Gruden Grinder".
Tom Brady being drafted in the 6th round is mentioned.
The Cleveland Browns, Raiders, or Cowboys botch a pick.
 
2014-05-08 07:36:39 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: I'd love to watch the NFL draft. But I'm all out of f*cks to give. And there's something else on. Anything else.


I think American Ice Road Bounty Hunters is about to come in.
 
2014-05-08 07:37:27 PM  
We know this - The Seahawks have the market cornered on UDFAs, having printed and sent out brochures to agencies and agents showcasing all the reasons why Seattle is the best place for your undrafted rookie to come. Give [us] your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore...and we'll turn them into Super Bowl Champs.

By all accounts, no team has ever done this before, amazingly.
 
2014-05-08 07:38:28 PM  

Shame Us: Altitude5280: So whats the drinking game?

Everytime someone boos, finish your beer. Good luck.


You'll be drunk by the 6th pick (depending on the beer..).
 
2014-05-08 07:38:57 PM  
So we're absolutely sure Ha Ha Clinton Dix isn't actually a character from the East West Bowl? We know this for a fact?
 
2014-05-08 07:39:37 PM  

smerfnablin: How will Dallas screw this up?


Depends, does jerry still think he knows how to pick players?

And for the love of god please don't let the falcons pick clowney.
 
2014-05-08 07:41:33 PM  
I hope Manziel falls as far as most are predicting and they have cameras in his face all night so that you can go in slo-mo and see when his ego gets destroyed just like they did on the Simpsons when Lisa broke Martin's heart. Plus he seems like the type of douchebag to punch a camera in a poutrage.
 
2014-05-08 07:42:33 PM  
I heard when they are drafted, these picks (and I doubt this will last the entire draft) will have entrance music that they've chosen, like old school ECW. Should be.... interesting. I guess. Lots of potential for unintentional comedy.
 
2014-05-08 07:43:04 PM  
the crappy techno music is killing me...
 
2014-05-08 07:43:46 PM  
I'm not getting drunk. I'm going to take a shiatload of ativan instead.

/please not manziel
 
2014-05-08 07:43:46 PM  

OhioUGrad: I hope Manziel falls as far as most are predicting and they have cameras in his face all night so that you can go in slo-mo and see when his ego gets destroyed just like they did on the Simpsons when Lisa broke Martin's heart. Plus he seems like the type of douchebag to punch a camera in a poutrage.


"When will somebody choo...choo...choose me?"
 
2014-05-08 07:44:35 PM  
O'Dell Beckham Jr.'s mom is  pretty hot, happy Mothers Day indeed.
 
2014-05-08 07:45:21 PM  

ThirstyCraig: the crappy techno music is killing me...


Cattle auctions have better audio than this.
 
2014-05-08 07:45:36 PM  

Bunny Deville: I'm not getting drunk. I'm going to take a shiatload of ativan instead.

/please not manziel


Good Luck!!

/On a geography related note...I just applied to two jobs in Colorado.
 
2014-05-08 07:45:40 PM  
USA USA USA USA
 
2014-05-08 07:45:44 PM  
Ah, the propaganda portion of the draft.
 
2014-05-08 07:45:46 PM  
Good luck Bunny!! Yeah, I agree, I don't think Johnny is a good fit for Jacksonville, they have to address their weaknesses.

Oh God, this theme is ripped off of a movie, I can't quite place it.
 
2014-05-08 07:45:53 PM  
Really on the nose playing John Williams' score for The Patriot here, guys.
 
2014-05-08 07:46:16 PM  
So when did the draft become the Oscars/Ms. Universe Pagent?
 
2014-05-08 07:46:34 PM  
I just want to see Khalil Mack drafted. My alma mater never gets moments like this. I think James Starks in GB is the only other significant UB alum.
 
2014-05-08 07:46:35 PM  
Goddammit, stop conflating sports with militarism.
 
2014-05-08 07:47:17 PM  

geom_00: Bunny Deville: I'm not getting drunk. I'm going to take a shiatload of ativan instead.

/please not manziel

Good Luck!!

/On a geography related note...I just applied to two jobs in Colorado.


That's because Colorado is where all of the damn GIS jobs are. Grumble grumble I wanna live in Colorado grumble.

LOVE the one guy with the pink suit and Doctor Who tie.
 
2014-05-08 07:47:23 PM  
Players get walk-up music?

What is this, the All-Fun League?
 
2014-05-08 07:47:31 PM  
Time for stupid.
 
2014-05-08 07:47:45 PM  
J. football looks so small compared to the rest. Also he looked at his watch midway in the song
 
2014-05-08 07:47:59 PM  
www.soentertain.me

What a lovely singing voice
 
2014-05-08 07:48:04 PM  
I don't get the whole anthem at the draft thing. It's just the annual minting of the new millionaires.
 
2014-05-08 07:48:20 PM  
Haha -

@michaelirvin88: That's @JManziel2 got the loudest, let's call it noise, when he was introduces
 
2014-05-08 07:48:21 PM  
The draft doesn't really begin until after the Star-Spangled Banner.
 
2014-05-08 07:48:42 PM  

grinding_journalist: Goddammit, stop conflating sports with militarism.


They probably frisked everybody on the way in before singing a song to them about "land of the free and home of the brave"
 
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