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(Oregon Live)   Even if you're right, you're going to have a hard time convincing the judge presiding over your custody battle that bringing home the occasional prostitute doesn't really harm your kids   (oregonlive.com) divider line 49
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2757 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2014 at 6:44 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-08 06:20:20 PM
They can have sloppy secon-NO NO NO NO WRONG NO NO
 
2014-05-08 06:21:02 PM
Dad?
 
2014-05-08 06:34:28 PM
 
2014-05-08 06:40:42 PM
How is it any different than bringing home a lot of different women who aren't hookers?
 
2014-05-08 06:45:37 PM
Charlie Sheen?
 
2014-05-08 06:49:27 PM
What if he only picks up the schoolteachers at their night jobs?
 
2014-05-08 06:49:44 PM

Mark Ratner: How is it any different than bringing home a lot of different women who aren't hookers?


It not too much, except the finding them online and that other stuff about being hopped up on goofballs and beating his old lady.
 
2014-05-08 06:50:22 PM
He should have sent the kids out to get him prostitutes. Could have been a family building experience. Plus they are minors in case one was a cop.
 
2014-05-08 06:50:43 PM

gopher321: They can have sloppy secon-NO NO NO NO WRONG NO NO


The only way that could get more wrong is to suggest same time as a family building exercise.

/No ticket needed, I booked first class years ago.
 
2014-05-08 06:50:47 PM
But your honor, a lot of my .... uh ... dates are single mothers so really they're very good with kids.
 
2014-05-08 06:54:55 PM
So Mom is bringing prostitutes back to the house? Male, female, or both?
 
2014-05-08 06:55:42 PM
Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.
 
2014-05-08 06:58:48 PM
Beats his wife and has a substance abuse problem, but THIS is what Fark is up in arms about?
 
hej
2014-05-08 06:59:09 PM
If anything or should sway things in your favor to be able to assure the judge that you'll still have a maternal figure in the household.
 
2014-05-08 07:02:31 PM

Mark Ratner: How is it any different than bringing home a lot of different women who aren't hookers?


It's not, but it just is.
 
2014-05-08 07:02:40 PM
Shhh...

We don't use the term prostitute.

We call them "sparkle-mommys"

As in, "Daddy are we going to have a new sparkle-mommy this weekend? The last one smelled like whiskey."

/Don't judge me...
//If the kid can call the mailman "daddy," then I can have "sparkle-mommys" sleep over.
 
2014-05-08 07:03:23 PM

untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.


^^This
 
2014-05-08 07:04:26 PM
I've heard that story. It's also the theme of a popular book.
jillsbooks.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-08 07:06:16 PM

Mark Ratner: How is it any different than bringing home a lot of different women who aren't hookers?


Well... hookers are probably cheaper in the long run.
 
2014-05-08 07:07:43 PM

untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.


That's not any different, except somehow it just is.
 
2014-05-08 07:08:53 PM
Is nothing sacred?
 
2014-05-08 07:18:19 PM

Mister Buttons: untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.

^^This


I second that ^^ This
 
2014-05-08 07:18:54 PM

charlesmartel11235: Kollontai would argue that marriage under capitalism is a form of prostitution


Also This ^^
 
2014-05-08 07:21:55 PM

untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.


When one of my daughters was in Kindergarten, I was one of the chaperones for the class trip to the zoo.  Being the only adult male in the group, I was given James as one of my charges.  James was a handful, to say the least and about the time he kicked me trying to get away, I slapped him without thinking.  I was pretty sure I would be hauled up on charges, regardless of the fact that it wasn't a hard slap and didn't even leave a mark (Oh, thank you sweet jesus!) but he never said a word to anyone about it and instantly turned into a proper gentleman.  He stayed by my side like a burr under a saddle.  And then he asked me if I could be his Dad.  Somewhat taken aback, I asked if he didn't have a Dad.  He allowed as he had lots of them and didn't like any of them but he liked me.  And then one of his friends wanted to go play and away they went.  I had dodged a bullet.

But I did tell the teacher what had happened, fell all over myself apologizing, and asked her what she could tell me about James' home life.  Seems James was the youngest of 3 and his mother had to be at work quite early in the morning.  So every night she would put the kids to bed and then go to the local bar and pick some guy up.  The price of admission was to stick around long enough in the morning to get the kids off to school.  Apparently she had a bit of a rep and had a few regulars that would step up if she ran out of fresh victims.

I never had the opportunity to meet the MOTY.  Not sure how that would have turned out.  I try not to be judgmental but there are limits.  The teacher did, with my prodding, turn the situation over to CPS.  And then I was told that James and his family had moved and never heard a thing about any of them.

That was over 35 years ago and it still breaks my heart to think that a mother could expose her children to that kind of crap and think it was OK.
 
2014-05-08 07:22:06 PM

Gyrfalcon: untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.

That's not any different, except somehow it just is.


i just dont think this would be okay either
 
2014-05-08 07:24:03 PM
They didn't rule against his argument, they ruled against him not bringing it up in a lower court.

FTA: "Without delving into the merits of that argument, the appeals court determined the father hadn't "preserved" the argument in circuit court, so it wasn't fair for him to bring it up now. "


So his argument was not struck down due to it being a bad argument, just that he should have brought it up earlier.
 
2014-05-08 07:30:25 PM
yeah, I met a couple kids over the years who'd give me that 'oh, another one' look in the morning after I'd spent the night pleasuring (?) their mothers

I loved you, single mothers. I loved all of you even if I couldn't remember your kids names.
 
2014-05-08 07:31:54 PM
It never did Christopher Titus any harm.

He got to stay up late and watch Godzilla movies with the sound turned up really LOUD. I'm just guessing, of course, based on his stand up routines and TV show. But it sounds about right.
 
2014-05-08 07:35:25 PM

 Milk Money


img.fark.net
 
2014-05-08 07:38:42 PM

Mr. Right: untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.

When one of my daughters was in Kindergarten, I was one of the chaperones for the class trip to the zoo.  Being the only adult male in the group, I was given James as one of my charges.  James was a handful, to say the least and about the time he kicked me trying to get away, I slapped him without thinking.  I was pretty sure I would be hauled up on charges, regardless of the fact that it wasn't a hard slap and didn't even leave a mark (Oh, thank you sweet jesus!) but he never said a word to anyone about it and instantly turned into a proper gentleman.  He stayed by my side like a burr under a saddle.  And then he asked me if I could be his Dad.  Somewhat taken aback, I asked if he didn't have a Dad.  He allowed as he had lots of them and didn't like any of them but he liked me.  And then one of his friends wanted to go play and away they went.  I had dodged a bullet.

But I did tell the teacher what had happened, fell all over myself apologizing, and asked her what she could tell me about James' home life.  Seems James was the youngest of 3 and his mother had to be at work quite early in the morning.  So every night she would put the kids to bed and then go to the local bar and pick some guy up.  The price of admission was to stick around long enough in the morning to get the kids off to school.  Apparently she had a bit of a rep and had a few regulars that would step up if she ran out of fresh victims.

I never had the opportunity to meet the MOTY.  Not sure how that would have turned out.  I try not to be judgmental but there are limits.  The teacher did, with my prodding, turn the situation over to CPS.  And then I was told that James and his family had moved and never heard a thing about any of them.

That was over 35 years ago and it still breaks my heart to think that a mother could expose her children to that kind of crap and think it was OK.


That explains why you weren't strung up for disciplining the boy.  And who knows, that kid may well have turned out ok and he no doubt never forgot about you.

I was an inner city landlord for a few years (just eight units) and had a few of those boys who thought of me as dad too (even though they only saw me once a week or so).

They would just hover as I'd work, trying to get that itch scratched.

Definitely is heartbreaking.
 
2014-05-08 07:40:40 PM

brantgoose: It never did Christopher Titus any harm.

He got to stay up late and watch Godzilla movies with the sound turned up really LOUD. I'm just guessing, of course, based on his stand up routines and TV show. But it sounds about right.


I subscribe to Titus' podcast. I'm pretty sure he'd be the first to describe himself as a carnival of psychological dysfunctions.
 
2014-05-08 07:41:54 PM

charlesmartel11235: Gyrfalcon: untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.

That's not any different, except somehow it just is.

i just dont think this would be okay either


The dude is just over to watch some movies.
 
2014-05-08 07:45:41 PM

Mr. Right: untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.

When one of my daughters was in Kindergarten, I was one of the chaperones for the class trip to the zoo.  Being the only adult male in the group, I was given James as one of my charges.  James was a handful, to say the least and about the time he kicked me trying to get away, I slapped him without thinking.  I was pretty sure I would be hauled up on charges, regardless of the fact that it wasn't a hard slap and didn't even leave a mark (Oh, thank you sweet jesus!) but he never said a word to anyone about it and instantly turned into a proper gentleman.  He stayed by my side like a burr under a saddle.  And then he asked me if I could be his Dad.  Somewhat taken aback, I asked if he didn't have a Dad.  He allowed as he had lots of them and didn't like any of them but he liked me.  And then one of his friends wanted to go play and away they went.  I had dodged a bullet.

But I did tell the teacher what had happened, fell all over myself apologizing, and asked her what she could tell me about James' home life.  Seems James was the youngest of 3 and his mother had to be at work quite early in the morning.  So every night she would put the kids to bed and then go to the local bar and pick some guy up.  The price of admission was to stick around long enough in the morning to get the kids off to school.  Apparently she had a bit of a rep and had a few regulars that would step up if she ran out of fresh victims.

I never had the opportunity to meet the MOTY.  Not sure how that would have turned out.  I try not to be judgmental but there are limits.  The teacher did, with my prodding, turn the situation over to CPS.  And then I was told that James and his family had moved and never heard a thing about any of them.

That was over 35 years ago and it still breaks my heart to think that a mother could expose her children to that kind of crap and think it was OK.


Couldn't figure out which bar?
 
2014-05-08 07:48:11 PM

Mr. Right: untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.

When one of my daughters was in Kindergarten, I was one of the chaperones for the class trip to the zoo.  Being the only adult male in the group, I was given James as one of my charges.  James was a handful, to say the least and about the time he kicked me trying to get away, I slapped him without thinking.  I was pretty sure I would be hauled up on charges, regardless of the fact that it wasn't a hard slap and didn't even leave a mark (Oh, thank you sweet jesus!) but he never said a word to anyone about it and instantly turned into a proper gentleman.  He stayed by my side like a burr under a saddle.  And then he asked me if I could be his Dad.  Somewhat taken aback, I asked if he didn't have a Dad.  He allowed as he had lots of them and didn't like any of them but he liked me.  And then one of his friends wanted to go play and away they went.  I had dodged a bullet.

But I did tell the teacher what had happened, fell all over myself apologizing, and asked her what she could tell me about James' home life.  Seems James was the youngest of 3 and his mother had to be at work quite early in the morning.  So every night she would put the kids to bed and then go to the local bar and pick some guy up.  The price of admission was to stick around long enough in the morning to get the kids off to school.  Apparently she had a bit of a rep and had a few regulars that would step up if she ran out of fresh victims.

I never had the opportunity to meet the MOTY.  Not sure how that would have turned out.  I try not to be judgmental but there are limits.  The teacher did, with my prodding, turn the situation over to CPS.  And then I was told that James and his family had moved and never heard a thing about any of them.

That was over 35 years ago and it still breaks my heart to think that a mother could expose her children to that kind of crap and think it was OK.


huh. didn't move to iowa, did they?

I went to school with a rotten little pissant named james who was in the same boat. he kicked the teacher once with his little kid cowboy boots

I was too young then to try and fark his mom
 
2014-05-08 07:53:13 PM

charlesmartel11235: Kollontai would argue that marriage under capitalism is a form of prostitution


That was... actually a pretty interesting read.
 
2014-05-08 07:53:18 PM

Mark Ratner: How is it any different than bringing home a lot of different women who aren't hookers?


Uh, maybe the fact that it's a crime in Oregon?
 
2014-05-08 08:02:44 PM

Son of Thunder: brantgoose: It never did Christopher Titus any harm.

He got to stay up late and watch Godzilla movies with the sound turned up really LOUD. I'm just guessing, of course, based on his stand up routines and TV show. But it sounds about right.

I subscribe to Titus' podcast. I'm pretty sure he'd be the first to describe himself as a carnival of psychological dysfunctions.


I'm pretty sure that's how he has actually described himself before.

I love hearing him, partly because he makes my life look positively average in comparison.
 
2014-05-08 08:04:30 PM

No Such Agency: charlesmartel11235: Kollontai would argue that marriage under capitalism is a form of prostitution

That was... actually a pretty interesting read.


I took an elective with a visiting prof who had won Carl Von Vogelsang Prize for his studies of sexuality.
/Computer Science major
//benefits of a liberal arts education
 
2014-05-08 08:05:21 PM

anuran: Mark Ratner: How is it any different than bringing home a lot of different women who aren't hookers?

Uh, maybe the fact that it's a crime in Oregon?


Yeah I know, but I doubt he brought em home and introduced him to his kids as the escort he found online. After reading the article, it sounds like he has substance abuse problems and anger issue. The hookers seem like the most harmless of the three.

/at least he sounds like an honest guy, admitting to everything
 
2014-05-08 08:16:07 PM

Gyrfalcon: untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.
That's not any different, except somehow it just is.


Mommies have to help their kids any way they can.

www.quickmeme.com

Actually, if you're in a custody battle, you'd better not get caught with any strange bodies in the house. Which leads you to ask, "How does my ex know who's in my house?"
If you're in a custody battle, they're watching. DON'T DO ANYTHING
 
2014-05-08 08:19:00 PM

cryinoutloud: Gyrfalcon: untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.
That's not any different, except somehow it just is.

Mommies have to help their kids any way they can.



Actually, if you're in a custody battle, you'd better not get caught with any strange bodies in the house. Which leads you to ask, "How does my ex know who's in my house?"
If you're in a custody battle, they're watching. DON'T DO ANYTHING


It "helps" that until they hit about 10, kids are like witnesses for the prosecution--they'll spill every secret they hear. It's why I know so much about my brother's, ahem, "life."
 
2014-05-08 08:31:30 PM

Mister Buttons: untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.

^^This


Yes. Because men are filthy predators.
 
2014-05-08 09:14:49 PM
Protecting kids from the real world is part of whats wrong with this country.
 
2014-05-08 11:57:09 PM

maram500: Son of Thunder: brantgoose: It never did Christopher Titus any harm.

He got to stay up late and watch Godzilla movies with the sound turned up really LOUD. I'm just guessing, of course, based on his stand up routines and TV show. But it sounds about right.

I subscribe to Titus' podcast. I'm pretty sure he'd be the first to describe himself as a carnival of psychological dysfunctions.

I'm pretty sure that's how he has actually described himself before.

I love hearing him, partly because he makes my life look positively average in comparison.


I can never believe he was a California surf dude. He sounds like he should be an Arkansas redneck. But he was down here just about the same times I was.
 
2014-05-09 06:14:38 AM

zarker: What if he only picks up the schoolteachers at their night jobs?


10/10
 
2014-05-09 08:02:34 AM

AngryDragon: Beats his wife and has a substance abuse problem, but THIS is what Fark is up in arms about?


Considering that bringing home hookers was the point he was arguing in the court and he doesn't argue the substance abuse or the violence, I don't see any problem with the headline.
 
2014-05-09 08:13:03 AM

brantgoose: It never did Christopher Titus any harm.

He got to stay up late and watch Godzilla movies with the sound turned up really LOUD. I'm just guessing, of course, based on his stand up routines and TV show. But it sounds about right.


I saw his routine on comedy central a few years ago.  I don't think I've ever gone from side splitting laughter to utter depression so quickly, frequently and with full engagement.
 
2014-05-09 12:03:41 PM

untaken_name: Right, but single mothers having weekly "uncles" passing through is juuuuuuust fine.


When I was a single mom, until I realized former spouse was much better able to raise kidlet(hey it happens, don't judge me), my rule was if the relationship lasts a year, then they get to meet kidlet. Kidlet never met any of them, I generally dated when former spouse had visitation.
 
2014-05-09 01:23:21 PM
CSB

My 8 year old cousin walked in on his dad screwing a prostitute on his living room floor (parents were divorced). He refused go see his dad for years after that (they patched things up)-it really messed with his head for awhile.
 
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