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(Omaha World Herald)   Even people who are gluten-free don't know what the hell gluten is   (omaha.com) divider line 27
    More: Obvious, Jimmy Kimmel, gluten  
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1458 clicks; posted to Video » on 08 May 2014 at 7:31 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-08 04:49:44 PM  
media2.giphy.com
 
2014-05-08 05:20:49 PM  
Look, you make fun of people on a gluten free diet, but I went from eating pizza, pasta and beer several times a week to eating salads and grilled seafood and I lost 15lbs. Clearly, gluten makes you fat!
 
2014-05-08 05:42:07 PM  
Hipster sh*t. You never even heard of gluten and gluten-free diets until like 10 years ago. Get in a time machine and go back to the 70's or 80's and walk into a restaurant and say "Yes, what's on your gluten-free menu?" They'll look at you like you're nuts.
 
2014-05-08 06:00:55 PM  
Your gluten is like, your butt, man

/so it just means it doesn't taste like ass
 
2014-05-08 06:37:09 PM  
Gluten is protein. To be really sure you are gluten-free, never eat protein again.

Effects:
1) You will feel more wakeful.
2) Strenuous activities will become more purposeful.
3) Your muscles will shrink to their child-like proportions.
4) If you cut yourself, you will not stop bleeding.
5) You won't need to shave your legs, armpits or head any more.
6) Your breath will smell fruity.
 
2014-05-08 08:33:50 PM  

Delay: Gluten is protein. To be really sure you are gluten-free, never eat protein again.

Effects:
1) You will feel more wakeful.
2) Strenuous activities will become more purposeful.
3) Your muscles will shrink to their child-like proportions.
4) If you cut yourself, you will not stop bleeding.
5) You won't need to shave your legs, armpits or head any more.
6) Your breath will smell fruity.


This protein-free diet must be promoted far and wide. Ignorant gluten-free hipsters will latch onto it, and hopefully their numbers will begin declining.
 
2014-05-08 09:14:22 PM  
It's a protein.
Some people are allergic to it.
Some people's digestive systems are intolerant of it.
No one else needs to worry about it.

/the end.
 
2014-05-08 09:18:07 PM  
img.iwascoding.com
 
2014-05-08 09:18:45 PM  
Gliadin and glutenin,
Live together in perfect harm-o-nym,
Side by side on my side board
Oh, chef, why can't we?
 
2014-05-08 09:31:58 PM  
Welcome to LA!

/dear goddess, get me out of here...
 
2014-05-08 09:38:18 PM  

Ego edo infantia cattus: It's a protein.
Some people are allergic to it.
Some people's digestive systems are intolerant of it.
No one else needs to worry about it.

/the end.


Congratulations, you nailed it.
For a brief time I was dating a girl, and whenever we were at a restaurant she would ask the server about an item on the menu and say "is it gluten free?"  (but she would say it in an annoying way, hard to spell it . . . sorta like "As it GLOO TAN free!?!?")
After a couple of these incidents, I asked her if she had Celiac Disease.
She says "whats that?"
I asked her if she knows what gluten is.
She says "Oh, I don't know, but I'm on a diet, and gluten makes you fat".
I wasted no time in dumping her stupid arse after that conversation.
 
2014-05-08 10:19:07 PM  
Currently making pizza. The pizza's on the grill outside. Will be delicious, as always. Suck it, glutentards.
 
2014-05-08 10:27:11 PM  

yoyopro: Ego edo infantia cattus: It's a protein.
Some people are allergic to it.
Some people's digestive systems are intolerant of it.
No one else needs to worry about it.

/the end.

Congratulations, you nailed it.
For a brief time I was dating a girl, and whenever we were at a restaurant she would ask the server about an item on the menu and say "is it gluten free?"  (but she would say it in an annoying way, hard to spell it . . . sorta like "As it GLOO TAN free!?!?")
After a couple of these incidents, I asked her if she had Celiac Disease.
She says "whats that?"
I asked her if she knows what gluten is.
She says "Oh, I don't know, but I'm on a diet, and gluten makes you fat".
I wasted no time in dumping her stupid arse after that conversation.


Did you at least fark her first? I mean, like, after you asked her if she was a celiac? Was her name Celia? (I may know her).
 
2014-05-08 10:37:05 PM  
Fake fake fake.
 
2014-05-09 12:16:27 AM  
Gluten gleetin gleitin glotin.

All right.

/gluten made my arm fall off
 
2014-05-09 12:38:06 AM  
Do you have Celiac disease? No? Then you don't need to worry about gluten.

This pisses me off to no end. The reason some foods are marked GLUTEN FREE is because gluten can KILL some people who have Celiac disease. Not because it's some sort of diet fad. You retards buying gluten-free products are needlessly making the lives of the few people who have a serious condition harder. You are MORONS.
 
2014-05-09 12:39:44 AM  
Clearly, gluten makes you fat!

it was the carbs making you a lard-ass, not gluten
 
2014-05-09 01:04:53 AM  

Terrible Old Man: Do you have Celiac disease? No? Then you don't need to worry about gluten.

This pisses me off to no end. The reason some foods are marked GLUTEN FREE is because gluten can KILL some people who have Celiac disease. Not because it's some sort of diet fad. You retards buying gluten-free products are needlessly making the lives of the few people who have a serious condition harder. You are MORONS.


Really, they aren't making it more difficult. The gluten free fad has made shopping for food and going out much easier for people with celiac or (real) gluten intollerance.
Ten years ago you couldn't find gluten free sections in supermarkets or restaurant menus. Now, most decent sized towns have a fair amount of choice.
/ Has a parent who figured out their severe gluten intollerance in the mid 90s.
// Gluten free food would taste better it it had gluten
 
2014-05-09 01:17:28 AM  

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: Clearly, gluten makes you fat!

it was the carbs making you a lard-ass, not gluten


Well maybe you should eat bread that is higher in protein and lower in carbs. Bread that is more bready (chewy) than cakey. But whoops, that is often determined by gluten content. So some people cut the gluten but increase protein with eggs or milk solids, but dammit that isn't vegan.

When I went to google this search was suggested as being popular:
https://www.google.com/search?q=high+protein+gluten+free+vegan+bread

I looked at a few results all of which raved about how good they taste, which may be true if you are used to eating stuff that has the taste and consistency of a brick of compressed sawdust.
 
2014-05-09 02:07:10 AM  

TeamEd: Terrible Old Man: Do you have Celiac disease? No? Then you don't need to worry about gluten.

This pisses me off to no end. The reason some foods are marked GLUTEN FREE is because gluten can KILL some people who have Celiac disease. Not because it's some sort of diet fad. You retards buying gluten-free products are needlessly making the lives of the few people who have a serious condition harder. You are MORONS.

Really, they aren't making it more difficult. The gluten free fad has made shopping for food and going out much easier for people with celiac or (real) gluten intollerance.
Ten years ago you couldn't find gluten free sections in supermarkets or restaurant menus. Now, most decent sized towns have a fair amount of choice.
/ Has a parent who figured out their severe gluten intollerance in the mid 90s.
// Gluten free food would taste better it it had gluten


I know people with gluten intolerance before the gluten free fad . . . (to be fair, actually only two people).  They just learned which foods are high in gluten, and then avoid them.  It is not so hard to figure out.  One of them is vegetarian, and he doesn't need eggs or dairy products.  There are plenty of sources of protein that do not come from animal products or gluten.  And if you ever tasted his cooking, you would be sure it's nothing like sawdust.  He makes a very moist type of cornbread that I'm sure you would love.

I think Terrible Old Man's point is that there are just not enough people with that condition out there to justify all of this marketing fad labeling.  I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if we begin seeing bottled water with a big bright "GLUTEN FREE" label on it.

Your Hind Brain:
Did you at least fark her first? I mean, like, after you asked her if she was a celiac? Was her name Celia? (I may know her).

Plenty before, but not once after . . . so, maybe {{shudder}} she got the disease from me?!?!   I could very well be the Typhoid Mary of Celiac Disease!
 
2014-05-09 09:08:07 AM  
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2014-05-09 09:10:41 AM  

Terrible Old Man: Do you have Celiac disease? No? Then you don't need to worry about gluten.

This pisses me off to no end. The reason some foods are marked GLUTEN FREE is because gluten can KILL some people who have Celiac disease. Not because it's some sort of diet fad. You retards buying gluten-free products are needlessly making the lives of the few people who have a serious condition harder. You are MORONS.


lol wut? economies of scale, breh...

I have a family member who gets a painful rash from gluten and for years it was really difficult for her but now she can get almost everything right at the regular supermarket.
 
2014-05-09 11:06:49 AM  

Ego edo infantia cattus: It's a protein.
Some people are allergic to it.
Some people's digestive systems are intolerant of it.
No one else needs to worry about it.

/the end.


It makes bread awesome.
 
2014-05-09 12:30:17 PM  
This is the third time I've used this today
images.elephantjournal.com
 
2014-05-09 02:11:58 PM  

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: Clearly, gluten makes you fat!

it was the carbs making you a lard-ass, not gluten


Once again, Captain Obvious saves the world from the evil threat of sarcasm.
 
2014-05-09 02:42:17 PM  
Breaking: People are idiot sheep. More at 11
 
2014-05-09 08:25:04 PM  
A friend of mine in his 80's got colon cancer. After they removed the tumor they found out just then that it was caused by lifelong irritation from Celiac's. He's a pharmacist and said that he'd never encountered anyone in his career that knew they had a gluten reaction, or a physician that ever suggested things like Celiac to anyone.
 
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