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(NJ.com)   Man arrested for stabbing closet door. The fact that a man was behind it is also relevant   (nj.com) divider line 26
    More: Amusing, stabbing closet, stabs, knife, affidavit states, possession of a weapon  
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2018 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2014 at 5:29 PM (24 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



26 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-08 02:14:08 PM  
The man was quoted as saying: "How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!"
 
2014-05-08 02:25:20 PM  
The door was headed right at him!
 
2014-05-08 05:05:02 PM  

haemaker: The man was quoted as saying: "How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!"


O, I am slain!
 
2014-05-08 05:34:29 PM  
A man was behind the stabbing?
 
2014-05-08 05:34:38 PM  
So... it's a hate crime?

/ cause he was attacking some guy still "in the closet"
// I got nothin'
 
2014-05-08 05:35:39 PM  

fusillade762: haemaker: The man was quoted as saying: "How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!"

O, I am slain!


O me, what hast thou done?
 
2014-05-08 05:39:16 PM  

haemaker: The man was quoted as saying: "How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!"


*Dammit* Too slow, posts I.
 
2014-05-08 05:43:11 PM  
a large knife from the kitchen

unlawful possession of a weapon


wut
 
2014-05-08 05:43:13 PM  

Victoly: fusillade762: haemaker: The man was quoted as saying: "How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!"

O, I am slain!

O me, what hast thou done?


I thought he died of Polonium poisoning?
 
2014-05-08 05:43:56 PM  
ftfa:  Amador has been charged with aggravated assault, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose and unlawful possession of a weapon.

That sounds kinda redundant.  Or maybe it's a mix and match law. They should also charge him with:
-purpose of unlawful weapon possession
-possession of an unlawful weapon purpose
-weapon a possession of purpose unlawful
-purpose of weapon: a unlawful possession
 
2014-05-08 05:44:17 PM  

Victoly: fusillade762: haemaker: The man was quoted as saying: "How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!"

O, I am slain!

O me, what hast thou done?

in one
 
2014-05-08 05:45:47 PM  
Sounds like the two of them just needed to clear the arras.
 
2014-05-08 05:46:47 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Stay out of debt, little buddies!
 
2014-05-08 05:47:30 PM  
Another responsible knife owner
 
2014-05-08 05:47:59 PM  

haemaker: The man was quoted as saying: "How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!"


That was my favorite line from Chapter 12 of R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet.
 
2014-05-08 06:13:06 PM  

Loucifer: [upload.wikimedia.org image 564x700]

Stay out of debt, little buddies!


you know...i actually lol'd

***salutes Loucifer***
 
2014-05-08 06:35:26 PM  

haemaker: The man was quoted as saying: "How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!"


Damn. Somebody beat me to the punch line. Oh, well.

ALL TOGETHER NOW:  SHAKESPEARE DID IT!
 
2014-05-08 06:43:04 PM  
Ok so did i read this correctly? A man is arrested for assaulting a home invader? Doesn't seem justified to me.
 
2014-05-08 06:44:21 PM  
Queen Gertrude: Stop poking holes in the curtains. They were just new for the Wedding ...

Hamlet (aside): You mean funeral.

Queen:  (Queen stares coldly) And stop being snide. I know things have moved kind of quickly after your Father's sudden death, but you don't have half the Men Who Would Be King in Denmark and their monkeys after you the way I do.

If you must poke holes in something, take your little friend, Laertes, outside and poke holes in each other. Or go poke holes in Ophelia. She floated by a while ago, and sounded tanked to the gills. See if you can sink her in the shallow part of the moat before she drowns.

Hamlet: (aside) Most unnatural Mother!

Queen: I heard that! Go!

(exuent)
 
2014-05-08 06:50:52 PM  
Should've used a gun.
pbs.twimg.com

"If he's still in there, he ain't happy."
 
2014-05-08 06:56:09 PM  

Dirty J1: Ok so did i read this correctly? A man is arrested for assaulting a home invader? Doesn't seem justified to me.


Possibly "Another man"?
Or something something threat, as gun threads tend to go. If a man is hiding in your closet and won't let you in, he's probably panicking and not going to try to attack you, not that you could tell anyway because he's behind closed doors.
 
2014-05-08 07:16:11 PM  
cdn-media.hollywood.com
 
2014-05-08 08:54:14 PM  
Those skeletons don't get in there on their own.
 
2014-05-08 09:02:44 PM  

Victoly: fusillade762: haemaker: The man was quoted as saying: "How now, a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!"

O, I am slain!

O me, what hast thou done?


Turn off the lights - we're done here.
 
2014-05-08 10:09:42 PM  

Dirty J1: Ok so did i read this correctly? A man is arrested for assaulting a home invader? Doesn't seem justified to me.


Well, to be fair, the guy defending his apartment did end up getting the worst of it after the guy in the closet wrestled his knife away from him.

/so he fails at being a responsible knife owner
//the other guy was probably more popular / wealthy / better connected, too
///maybe even a cute teenage scamp who was innocently breaking and entering
 
2014-05-09 07:56:43 AM  
And, on the next episode of Door Maniacs

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
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