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(News.com.au)   "I've been abducted by aliens my whole life"   (news.com.au) divider line 113
    More: Unlikely, abducted by aliens, covert listening device, Ministry of Defence, Alien abduction  
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4325 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2014 at 7:35 AM (11 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



113 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-08 12:52:31 AM
Put a lot on stress on the tractor beam I bet
 
2014-05-08 01:01:01 AM
They must have been really advanced aliens, you can't even see the tracking collar.

Can you imagine if aliens have been doing to us, what we routinely do to wildlife.  Capture, measure, install some tracking mechanism and release them back into the wild?

I find that idea rather amusing.
 
2014-05-08 02:15:36 AM
resources3.news.com.au

Hilary used to work as draftsman and artist for the MoD
 
2014-05-08 04:00:11 AM
resources3.news.com.au
And just like that, her X-Wing slipped back into the bog.
 
2014-05-08 07:28:44 AM

Relatively Obscure: [resources3.news.com.au image 325x500]

Hilary used to work as draftsman and artist for the MoD



I'm going to guess that abduction left a bad taste in her mouth.
 
2014-05-08 07:42:11 AM
Sounds legit
 
2014-05-08 07:42:16 AM

Ambivalence: They must have been really advanced aliens, you can't even see the tracking collar.

Can you imagine if aliens have been doing to us, what we routinely do to wildlife.  Capture, measure, install some tracking mechanism and release them back into the wild?

I find that idea rather amusing.


She says she has a metal one in her ear, seems easy enough to check for.
 
2014-05-08 07:44:17 AM

"I've been abducted by aliens my whole life"



wadebearden.com
 
2014-05-08 07:44:50 AM
So are you guys ready to get that border fence done yet?

DNRFA
 
2014-05-08 07:50:15 AM
Ever notice how the grays never abduct anyone attractive for their sexual experimentation?
 
2014-05-08 07:50:22 AM
discussions.apple.com
 
2014-05-08 07:51:39 AM
You're from Ohio?
 
2014-05-08 07:53:28 AM
Yes, but to be fair, Earth is trying hard to send you home, only we don't know where home is.
 
2014-05-08 07:56:20 AM
She probably has one of these in her....or two
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-05-08 07:56:22 AM
This just in, mental illness doesn't just go away.
 
2014-05-08 07:57:51 AM
She looks exactly like someone who would claim to have been abducted by aliens.

Her name would be better if it was Hilary Potter.
 
2014-05-08 07:59:14 AM
Nope.jpg
 
2014-05-08 08:00:09 AM

Relatively Obscure: [resources3.news.com.au image 325x500]

Hilary used to work as draftsman and artist for the MoD


I have an idea for haloween now
 
2014-05-08 08:03:17 AM

ScaryBottles: Ever notice how the grays never abduct anyone attractive for their sexual experimentation?


Those aren't tossed back, you never see them again.
 
2014-05-08 08:03:48 AM
I lost it at.
resources3.news.com.au
 
2014-05-08 08:05:10 AM

Sybarite: Relatively Obscure: [resources3.news.com.au image 325x500]

Hilary used to work as draftsman and artist for the MoD


I'm going to guess that abduction left a bad taste in her mouth.


Lmao
 
2014-05-08 08:06:50 AM
You'd think that they'd investigate something as serious as a lifetime of abductions, initiation some sort of alien probe.
 
2014-05-08 08:07:34 AM

Theory Of Null: I lost it at.
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x1000]


It does look an awful lot like she is blowing that gray.
 
2014-05-08 08:10:30 AM

ScaryBottles: Theory Of Null: I lost it at.
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x1000]

It does look an awful lot like she is blowing that gray.


Rule 34, FARKers, Rule 34.
 
2014-05-08 08:10:35 AM

zarker: Ambivalence: They must have been really advanced aliens, you can't even see the tracking collar.

Can you imagine if aliens have been doing to us, what we routinely do to wildlife.  Capture, measure, install some tracking mechanism and release them back into the wild?

I find that idea rather amusing.

She says she has a metal one in her ear, seems easy enough to check for.


ummm.. From age 7 to 23 every 4 to 6 months I would discover and tear the small metallic device out of the lobe of my ear.

slightly smaller than a grain of rice and impossible to crush.  Never even thought to save one.
 
2014-05-08 08:10:37 AM

I_Am_Weasel: You'd think that they'd investigate something as serious as a lifetime of abductions, initiation some sort of alien probe.


initiate, not initiation.

Stupid weasel.
 
2014-05-08 08:10:46 AM

ScaryBottles: Theory Of Null: I lost it at.
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x1000]

It does look an awful lot like she is blowing that gray.


That picture of course begs the question:  If the alienses have technology advanced enough to travel the light years distance between their world and ours, why don't they have something like a gurney to carry their abductees with?
 
2014-05-08 08:11:45 AM
 
2014-05-08 08:12:11 AM

zarker: She says she has a metal one in her ear


That a doctor says is just wax, and the only one telling her different is her fellow abductee-whackjob husband.

I'm open to the possibility of aliens but abductee stories just sound so goddamned dumb. Aliens (that just happen to look like ones from movies and TV shows) grab people from their beds in the night and drag them off to their flying saucer for mysterious medical tests, often involving sex stuff - it sounds exactly like the sort of thing an uncreative but suggestible person would imagine while half asleep, perhaps while experiencing sleep paralyisis.

Reptilian aliens that could disguise themselves as human didn't even show up in the abductee "canon" until after the V miniseries aired in the 80's, for god's sake. Now every other abductee sees them. Can't they imagine aliens with a better special effects budget?
 
2014-05-08 08:14:16 AM

dittybopper: ScaryBottles: Theory Of Null: I lost it at.
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x1000]

It does look an awful lot like she is blowing that gray.

That picture of course begs the question:  If the alienses have technology advanced enough to travel the light years distance between their world and ours, why don't they have something like a gurney to carry their abductees with?


Another really good point.
 
2014-05-08 08:17:06 AM

Gunther: zarker: She says she has a metal one in her ear

That a doctor says is just wax, and the only one telling her different is her fellow abductee-whackjob husband.

I'm open to the possibility of aliens but abductee stories just sound so goddamned dumb. Aliens (that just happen to look like ones from movies and TV shows) grab people from their beds in the night and drag them off to their flying saucer for mysterious medical tests, often involving sex stuff - it sounds exactly like the sort of thing an uncreative but suggestible person would imagine while half asleep, perhaps while experiencing sleep paralyisis.

Reptilian aliens that could disguise themselves as human didn't even show up in the abductee "canon" until after the V miniseries aired in the 80's, for god's sake. Now every other abductee sees them. Can't they imagine aliens with a better special effects budget?


Hey I didn't say bought it
Also, everybody knows the reptilian people (humanoid reptiles?) live inside the earth. They're not likely to take you into the sky
 
2014-05-08 08:17:40 AM

kvinesknows: Never even thought to save one.


Sure, that sounds plausible: why would anyone be interested in something so boring and worthless? It's only an indestructible tracking device made by aliens with technology vastly superior to our own, you can find 'em in packs of five for a dollar at Walmart.
 
2014-05-08 08:18:52 AM

vudukungfu: ScaryBottles: Theory Of Null: I lost it at.
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x1000]

It does look an awful lot like she is blowing that gray.

Rule 34, FARKers, Rule 34.

www.rock979.ca

One of my personal favorites.....
 
2014-05-08 08:19:11 AM
Translation: I'm fat, ugly, and generally uninteresting but years ago I found out people would pay attention to me if I claimed I was taken by aliens. Since then I have been milking it for all I can since even bad attention is better than being ignored.
 
2014-05-08 08:19:15 AM

Gunther: Reptilian aliens that could disguise themselves as human didn't even show up in the abductee "canon" until after the V miniseries aired in the 80's, for god's sake. Now every other abductee sees them. Can't they imagine aliens with a better special effects budget?


Actually, for the time, the special effects were pretty good:

www.blastr.com

And by good, I mean disturbingly sexy.
 
2014-05-08 08:20:31 AM
When I want to impress strangers I tell them that I used to play keyboards for Bon Jovi.
 
2014-05-08 08:20:45 AM
I bet she knows where the missing plane is located.
 
2014-05-08 08:21:20 AM

dittybopper: ScaryBottles: Theory Of Null: I lost it at.
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x1000]

It does look an awful lot like she is blowing that gray.

That picture of course begs the question:  If the alienses have technology advanced enough to travel the light years distance between their world and ours, why don't they have something like a gurney to carry their abductees with?


Because nothing is as good as dragging a human across a cornfield while he's polishing your alien knob..?

/kinky critters, them aliens
 
2014-05-08 08:21:23 AM
I used to be very interested in this stuff.

Then I got on the internet and started communicating with some of the wackjobs that have these experiences.

Pretty much decided that they're just all nuts.
 
2014-05-08 08:22:20 AM

IrishBlunder: dittybopper: ScaryBottles: Theory Of Null: I lost it at.
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x1000]

It does look an awful lot like she is blowing that gray.

That picture of course begs the question:  If the alienses have technology advanced enough to travel the light years distance between their world and ours, why don't they have something like a gurney to carry their abductees with?

Because nothing is as good as dragging a human across a cornfield while he's polishing your alien knob..?

/kinky critters, them aliens


OK, how about a gurney with stirrups?
 
2014-05-08 08:22:29 AM

Slaxl: She looks exactly like someone who would claim to have been abducted by aliens.


Or claim she can
* see ghosts
* speak to the dead
* see auras
* communicate with animals


There's a type. And she's a caricature of that type.
 
2014-05-08 08:23:12 AM

Gunther: kvinesknows: Never even thought to save one.

Sure, that sounds plausible: why would anyone be interested in something so boring and worthless? It's only an indestructible tracking device made by aliens with technology vastly superior to our own, you can find 'em in packs of five for a dollar at Walmart.


I was really just wanting to be rid of them. My wife was the first person to ever suggest I save one and send it to someone and after that....not a single one appeared.
 
2014-05-08 08:23:26 AM

dittybopper: ScaryBottles: Theory Of Null: I lost it at.
[resources3.news.com.au image 650x1000]

It does look an awful lot like she is blowing that gray.

That picture of course begs the question:  If the alienses have technology advanced enough to travel the light years distance between their world and ours, why don't they have something like a gurney to carry their abductees with?


By choice man. By choice.
 
2014-05-08 08:24:14 AM

Rapmaster2000: When I want to impress strangers I tell them that I used to play keyboards for Bon Jovi.


I usually tell people I play slap bass at the Vatican.
 
2014-05-08 08:25:20 AM
Why are the aliens never the cool looking ones like Andorians or Klingons? It's always the f*cking Bynars.
 
2014-05-08 08:32:17 AM
I'm poretty sure I was abducted from my home planet at birth and thrown down here to live with all you f*cking weird aliens.
 
2014-05-08 08:41:16 AM

Theory Of Null: I lost it at.


JAZZ HANDs!
 
2014-05-08 08:43:43 AM

ScaryBottles: vudukungfu: ScaryBottles: Theory Of Null: I lost it at.


One of my personal favorites.....


the Balaur's Delight looks like it could be a much better movie than any of those Will Smith space movies.
 
2014-05-08 08:48:30 AM

ScaryBottles: Ever notice how the grays never abduct anyone attractive for their sexual experimentation?


They keep those ones.
 
2014-05-08 08:50:07 AM
You know what crazy lady, if it will make you happy, fine, you were abducted by aliens.  Tell them we wish for a peaceful existing next time you see them.
 
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