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(OC Weekly)   Because you know the first thing you'd buy after robbing a deaf and blind 98-year-old widow suffering from dementia is a sex swing   (blogs.ocweekly.com) divider line 37
    More: Sad, deaf and blind, sex swing, widow suffering, Tiffany & Co., white-collar crimes, dementia, City News Service, widows  
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3398 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2014 at 12:12 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-08 12:14:43 AM
not a pinball machine?
 
2014-05-08 12:15:14 AM
I first skimmed the headline and thought he bought the sex swing from the 98 year old blind and deaf lady. :-/
 
2014-05-08 12:15:33 AM
Was her name Tommy?
 
2014-05-08 12:16:02 AM
two pre-owned cars

Anyone besides car salesmen who use that term should be punched in the junk.
 
2014-05-08 12:22:49 AM
You know it.
 
2014-05-08 12:22:54 AM

fusillade762: two pre-owned cars

Anyone besides car salesmen who use that term should be punched in the junk.


Meanwhile, all used car salesmen should be pre-punched in the junk.
 
2014-05-08 12:24:17 AM

Danger Avoid Death: fusillade762: two pre-owned cars

Anyone besides car salesmen who use that term should be punched in the junk.

Meanwhile, all used car salesmen should be pre-punched in the junk.


Repeatedly.
 
2014-05-08 12:30:18 AM

Plant Rights Activist: not a pinball machine?


I already have 11 pinballs, Swing was next on my list.
 
2014-05-08 12:31:19 AM
I don't usually get to post this twice in one day.

"Burn him."
 
2014-05-08 12:40:39 AM
It's a shame I don't think hell exists because he would be going there for sure.
 
2014-05-08 12:44:41 AM
Was his mother complicit in this crime? Why no mention of that old biatch? She should be in prison right beside him if she allowed him in the house at all.
 
2014-05-08 12:51:37 AM

Serious Black: It's a shame I don't think hell exists because he would be going there for sure.


Not just regular hell either.

blog.lib.umn.edu
 
2014-05-08 12:52:39 AM
Written under his picture:

John Thomas Windsor, pronounced "douche".

Love that reporter.
 
2014-05-08 12:53:46 AM
Miley Cyrus has truly hit rock bottom.
 
2014-05-08 01:00:21 AM
This can't be real... his name is John Thomas??
 
2014-05-08 01:04:16 AM
It makes sense from this point of view:

I desperately want and need a sex swing. I can't afford one, so I have to steal to buy it. Who can I easily steal from? A blind and deaf dementia patient. There's one right near my house. She's practically begging me to steal from her to buy my sex swing.

And that's what gets you stories like this one.
 
2014-05-08 01:04:29 AM

veale728: This can't be real... his name is John Thomas??


Well, he  is a dick.
 
2014-05-08 01:07:38 AM
Prison eh? Well let's hope he swings both ways.
 
2014-05-08 01:11:13 AM
Buy? Why not just take hers?
 
2014-05-08 01:28:04 AM
What's his fark handle?
/You know, that sociopath who just disappeared from the Politics tab.
 
2014-05-08 01:44:05 AM
DNRTFA
What is up with sex swings?
There is nothing about me or my dating persona that would suggest it, but three of my howevermany partners in two years asked if I had one.
What am I missing about them?
Was it in 50 Shades or something?
 
2014-05-08 02:24:33 AM
Because they were out of real dolls?
 
2014-05-08 02:35:17 AM
"It's vile and reprehensible that anyone would steal from someone in that condition, who was completely unaware of her surroundings."

Why? It seems the 98 year old deaf, blind and demented lady was still rather well-off, and nothing in the article suggests her quality of life declined because of the embezzlement. If you're going to steal, and people will, isn't it better to steal from people who won't miss it and won't suffer because of it?

This article reeks of disappointed heirs. "I was nice to that old bat for 60 years and this is all I get?!?"
 
2014-05-08 02:51:28 AM
Sex swings are awesome good fun.
 
2014-05-08 02:55:43 AM
funnyasduck.net
 
2014-05-08 02:58:38 AM
I prefer the sex monkey bars or sex seesaw.
 
2014-05-08 03:05:55 AM

Danger Avoid Death:


If a woman asks if it's a sex swing, you say YES.
 
2014-05-08 03:14:02 AM
Sad... because if the story was "John Thomas Windsor Admits to Ripping Off INVESTORS to Fund Cars, Ring and Sex Swing"  then this would be perfectly acceptable, probably encouraged.
 
2014-05-08 05:52:44 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-05-08 08:15:07 AM

demaL-demaL-yeH: What's his fark handle?
/You know, that sociopath who just disappeared from the Politics tab.


Wasn't me.
 
2014-05-08 08:30:45 AM
Let's forget to ask her whether she remembers seeing this coming.
 
2014-05-08 08:47:03 AM
Obvious tag is taking a nap? Seriously.. What else would you buy?
 
2014-05-08 09:53:17 AM

NoahFenze: Obvious tag is taking a nap? Seriously.. What else would you buy?


Ball gag.
 
2014-05-08 10:03:48 AM

dittybopper: NoahFenze: Obvious tag is taking a nap? Seriously.. What else would you buy?

Ball gag.


To avoid being murdered because you talk too much?
 
2014-05-08 10:26:24 AM

The One True TheDavid: dittybopper: NoahFenze: Obvious tag is taking a nap? Seriously.. What else would you buy?

Ball gag.

To avoid being murdered because you talk too much?


Padded handcuffs.
 
2014-05-08 01:19:13 PM

NoahFenze: Obvious tag is taking a nap? Seriously.. What else would you buy?


i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-08 08:30:30 PM
What's the resale on one of those things? Because I doubt it would be worth repossessing it. Like buying a used vibrator.
 
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