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(New Zealand Herald)   Google exec invites himself to speak at tech expo, then leaves in a snit thirty minutes before the talk because the audience is too small   (nzherald.co.nz) divider line 68
    More: Asinine, civilizations  
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3634 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 May 2014 at 11:36 PM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-07 07:44:45 PM  
Jerk.
 
2014-05-07 07:59:58 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-07 08:07:08 PM  
"I am Google, dammit!"
 
2014-05-07 08:12:00 PM  
This will be referenced in a future episode of Silicon Valley for sure.
 
2014-05-07 08:30:45 PM  
Typical tech manager, doesn't know dick. Is "strategist " even a word? I mean I know it's a word but is it a viable position with a paycheck and shiat?
 
2014-05-07 09:01:04 PM  
He has a very punchable face.

img.fark.net

Why do I get the idea that we have this guy to thank, at least in part, for Google+?
 
2014-05-07 09:01:40 PM  
Hmmm. Now when you Google "dickhead", this pops up:

2013.iasummit.org
 
2014-05-07 09:09:38 PM  
Mr Jenson then followed this up with an apparent explanation of his decision to walk out, saying: 'I do not speak to small groups.'

Ah yeah that totally clears it up and completely alleviates any concerns that you are an entitled and egomaniacal asshole who needs to be the first alpha tester for Google's new cock-punching app.
 
2014-05-07 09:15:12 PM  
That whole "don't be evil" is so last century.
 
2014-05-07 09:18:59 PM  
I love it that he was tweeting to them., "Is [sic] looks like you still have a speakers slot open on May 6th... Hint....Hint.... "

If I were an organizer, I would have been so tempted to respond, "Yeah, we know you're available.  Still looking."
 
2014-05-07 09:20:31 PM  
If you stupid liberals knew anything about business, you would know that he was measuring the opportunity cost.  Why would he speak to a crowd that does not appreciate his talents when he can make more money by doing the things that champions of business do?
 
2014-05-07 09:27:19 PM  

Mike_LowELL: If you stupid liberals knew anything about business, you would know that he was measuring the opportunity cost.  Why would he speak to a crowd that does not appreciate his talents when he can make more money by doing the things that champions of business do?


F*ck people in the ass?
 
2014-05-07 09:54:03 PM  
I am Google

Is "Google" now code for "entitled, raging douchebag"?
 
2014-05-07 09:56:04 PM  

fusillade762: I am Google

Is "Google" now code for "entitled, raging douchebag"?


Google+ Ungood.
 
2014-05-07 10:13:25 PM  

vossiewulf: Mr Jenson then followed this up with an apparent explanation of his decision to walk out, saying: 'I do not speak to small groups.'

Ah yeah that totally clears it up and completely alleviates any concerns that you are an entitled and egomaniacal asshole who needs to be the first alpha tester for Google's new cock-punching app.


DNRTFA so thanks for the sum up.
Btw - points to subby for the use of 'in a snit'. Oh, how apropos!
 
2014-05-07 10:23:55 PM  

Mugato: Typical tech manager, doesn't know dick. Is "strategist " even a word? I mean I know it's a word but is it a viable position with a paycheck and shiat?


Uh, FWIW.

I was sitting in a meeting recently with some high-up muckities at a random tech company.  And they were doing crazy mental gymnastics in terms of "Here is our plan for the next 3 years based on what we think is going to happen".

So for example, it takes about 4 years to move a graphics card from "thought" to production.  So you're using the fate of products designed 4 years ago to tell you what you should do 4 years from now.  Do it right, and you make millions.  Do it wrong and the company goes under.  Sound fun?

The RV770 Story: Documenting ATI's Road to Success

/Mind you, I have no doubt that there's plenty of BS going down, but it's not inherently a BS position.
 
2014-05-07 10:27:49 PM  
 
2014-05-07 10:42:13 PM  
He's excitable, and clearly some kind of yahoo.
 
2014-05-07 10:46:55 PM  
If you decide to do something, you carry through with it. If that means speaking in front of two people, one with an ear trumpet, so be it.

At worst, people will think you wasted your time. If you cancel, people will think you are a dick. Which label do you think will hang around longer?
 
2014-05-07 11:05:59 PM  
So that's what Google+ is.
 
2014-05-07 11:48:08 PM  
So he's the Steve Ballmer of Google?  What's the big deal?
 
2014-05-07 11:50:38 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: He's excitable, and clearly some kind of yahoo.


Ha ha, I completely forgot about "Excite" until you mentioned it, so I just went to their site, and hello, 1998 is still here.
 
2014-05-07 11:53:40 PM  
Google..."strategist?"

Tell me, Mr. Jensen: what would you say it is that...you *do* here?
 
2014-05-07 11:55:38 PM  

Mugato: Typical tech manager strategist, doesn't know dick.


I am a tech manager. And I'll have you know, I DO know dick.
 
2014-05-07 11:59:41 PM  
Google has become one hell of corporation...with all the self important douchebags that come with it.
 
2014-05-08 12:01:13 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: I love it that he was tweeting to them., "Is [sic] looks like you still have a speakers slot open on May 6th... Hint....Hint.... "

If I were an organizer, I would have been so tempted to respond, "Yeah, we know you're available.  Still looking."


"And yet we haven't asked you already...hint...hint..."
 
2014-05-08 12:05:12 AM  
One last point...as innovative as Google often is, I don't really see their role in the whole "internet of things" movement. The companies that will define it are just getting started. They aren't Google unless Google buys them out.
 
2014-05-08 12:14:59 AM  
Google is evil. Google will become Big Brother.
 
2014-05-08 12:23:34 AM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: One last point...as innovative as Google often is, I don't really see their role in the whole "internet of things" movement. The companies that will define it are just getting started. They aren't Google unless Google buys them out.


Are you kidding? Google's stated goal is to collect and exploit all data on earth.

The internet of things gives unprecedented access (read: data) about people's everyday lives. They'd know what you ate, when you took your dumps, when you got up every morning, how often you exercise, the status of that ugly mole on your back, etc.

Their role is to provide decently useful products that allow them to collect all this data, and then create targeted advertising for ugly back-mole creams. For example: Google collects all of your commuting data for a month and then tells you that you can save 10 minutes on your drive if you leave five minutes earlier or later every day. In the meantime,  GOOGLE IS WATCHING YOU DRIVE.

Not to mention their whole autonomous vehicle and Google Glass initiatives. Both of those are much, much more realistic internet of things applications than half the crap flying around the blagotechsphere.
 
2014-05-08 01:32:36 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: He's excitable, and clearly some kind of yahoo.


Alta la vista, baby.
 
2014-05-08 01:49:59 AM  

Jclark666: I_Am_Weasel: He's excitable, and clearly some kind of yahoo.

Alta la vista, baby.


We should really stop dogpiling on him.
 
2014-05-08 01:53:43 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Mugato: Typical tech manager strategist, doesn't know dick.

I am a tech manager. And I'll have you know, I DO know dick.


Yes, but "how" do you know dick?
 
2014-05-08 03:02:45 AM  

optimistic_cynic: Jclark666: I_Am_Weasel: He's excitable, and clearly some kind of yahoo.

Alta la vista, baby.

We should really stop dogpiling on him.


Guess they'll wise up and ask Jeeves next time.
 
2014-05-08 03:08:19 AM  
Unless you are already extremely well known and liked, then a large crowd means you're often doing nothing more than the equivalent of a power presentation to a group of folks where a large portion typically couldn't care less if they were there or not.  They are there for the "vacation", the hotel and to visit somewhere they've never been before...

If you get a small group - within reason - and even 50 is within reason...

Often they are there because they WANT to be there.  They WANT to hear you.  They WANT the ability to ask questions and give input without it being drowned out by a crowd.  It is a fantastic opportunity to be able to connect with every single person in the audience.  Evangelize your butt off and have those folks go out and tell everyone about everything they missed by not being present.  In the end it drives interest, business and real talent not only to your company but also to your own projects.

All I can say is that it is unfortunate that Google decided to hire Jensen and and continues to hire those like him for such forward facing ( and other ) positions.  Having said that, it does seem to be a direction tech companies have been following for some time i.e. an individual's ego being allowed to trump their ability.

Oh well.
 
2014-05-08 03:11:37 AM  
He's going to be even more pissed off when he finds out how few people he will be talking to in HR on his way out the door.
 
2014-05-08 04:30:02 AM  
His twitter page can't be real, right? This has to be satire / performance art.
 
2014-05-08 04:30:38 AM  
 
2014-05-08 04:52:21 AM  

Snarfangel: If you decide to do something, you carry through with it. If that means speaking in front of two people, one with an ear trumpet, so be it.

At worst, people will think you wasted your time. If you cancel, people will think you are a dick. Which label do you think will hang around longer?


This is the strategist for a company notorious for dropping support for projects they don't consider ultra successful, I think we could have expected nothing less from Mr Google himself.
 
2014-05-08 04:54:19 AM  

JMacPA: Link:  https://twitter.com/scottjenson


That's the most petty twitter I've seen in a while.
 
2014-05-08 05:04:32 AM  

DrBenway: "I am Google, dammit!"


Oh crap Google's become self-aware!
 
2014-05-08 05:07:35 AM  

SonsoftheSod: DrBenway: "I am Google, dammit!"

Oh crap Google's become self-aware!


Sheeit. That dude isn't self aware. Did you look at his twitter?

Self aggrandizing for sure though. The background/top picture cracked me up.
 
2014-05-08 05:26:26 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Mike_LowELL: If you stupid liberals knew anything about business, you would know that he was measuring the opportunity cost.  Why would he speak to a crowd that does not appreciate his talents when he can make more money by doing the things that champions of business do?

F*ck people in the ass?


Anal sex does have higher penetration rates in the upper class
 
2014-05-08 05:50:35 AM  
Google isnt wholly evil yet, but they're certainly not nice.
 
2014-05-08 06:18:41 AM  
"If you hate your job, you don't quit, you just do it really half-assed.  It's the American way."
 
2014-05-08 06:20:14 AM  
Looking at the audience 30 minutes before your presentation time?  No wonder nobody was in there.  Try five minutes beforehand next time, Mr Self Important Impatient Dude
 
2014-05-08 06:27:09 AM  

fusillade762: I am Google

Is "Google" now code for "entitled, raging douchebag"?


Yes.  "Apple" needed competition.
 
2014-05-08 07:34:49 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Google..."strategist?"

Tell me, Mr. Jensen: what would you say it is that...you *do* here?


I can't hear that phrase without seeing the Poppa Smurf does 'Undercover Boss' skit from Robot Chicken.

Poppa Smurf (in disguise): 'Oh hey, coffee.'
Hater Smurf: 'I hate coffee'
PS: Oookay then...is there anything say, Poppa Smurf, could do to make working here better for you?
H: I HATE Poppa Smurf.
PS: ...What exactly is it you *do* here?
H: uh...I...hate...
PS: *puts on the red Poppa Smurf hat*  I'm completely farking serious.
Next scene, Hater shoveling a giant mountain of shiat.
H: I HATE shoveling dog shiat.
PS: That...is a completely appropriate response.  Carry on, Dogshiat Smurf.
 
2014-05-08 07:35:58 AM  

A Google strategist has stormed out of a conference in San Francisco after taking umbrage with the size of his audience.

Apparently angry that he only had a small group of people to see him, Google strategist Scott Jenson reportedly left 30 minutes before he was scheduled to speak.


Because conference attendees are well-known for their punctuality, and will be sitting in the room at least 45 minutes prior to the beginning of the talk. *eyeroll*

They'll stumble in 30 seconds ahead of time, if that. If Captain Douchenozzle von Google would have waited the population probably would have been more to his liking.
 
2014-05-08 07:42:28 AM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: One last point...as innovative as Google often is, I don't really see their role in the whole "internet of things" movement. The companies that will define it are just getting started. They aren't Google unless Google buys them out.


They are already doing it. I'm guessing there is a whole division of Android dedicated to embedded systems versus just a mobile OS. That and they have already started buying up smart appliance companies, like Nest.
 
2014-05-08 08:12:16 AM  

Triumph: I heard he left because they didn't have Diet Coke.


I went to Dell Enterprise Forum last year, and they had both Coke and Pepsi. I thought "Wow, they really thought of everything!" while I was hitting the open bar.
 
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