If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Campus Reform)   Students post ad for hitman to injure them severely enough so that they won't die, but wouldn't have to take finals either   (campusreform.org) divider line 57
    More: Amusing, classified advertising  
•       •       •

4116 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2014 at 11:11 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-05-07 07:45:48 PM  
Usually they just call in a bomb threat.
 
2014-05-07 09:05:21 PM  
I thought you were supposed to hire the hitman to bump off your roommate?
 
2014-05-07 09:11:09 PM  
I'm sure that ad was 100% legit and in no way someone's idea of a joke.
 
2014-05-07 09:15:57 PM  
Someone watched 'Dirty Harry.'
 
2014-05-07 11:21:40 PM  

fusillade762: I'm sure that ad was 100% legit and in no way someone's idea of a joke.


I know there's some truly stupid people out there that would post that for real.

But this has to be a joke, or someone's warped way to hire a hitman and send him against a couple girls who know nothing of this.
 
2014-05-07 11:23:10 PM  
Was the heading Steady Drivin' Man?
 
2014-05-07 11:31:51 PM  
I found myself thinking the same thing on the way to my calculus final yesterday. Unfortunately, I made it there safely and on time.
 
2014-05-07 11:35:39 PM  

BalugaJoe: Usually they just call in a bomb threat.


On their cell phone.
 
2014-05-07 11:35:48 PM  
Picture of the student.

thenypost.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-07 11:36:53 PM  

buzzcut73: I found myself thinking the same thing on the way to my calculus final yesterday. Unfortunately, I made it there safely and on time.


You have late finals. Mine was over more than 2 weeks ago.

I also think that most college students can relate to being that desperate. It's not as likely a joke as people here would think.
 
2014-05-07 11:36:55 PM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-05-07 11:38:41 PM  
Yeah, I'd hit two lovely ladies by vehicle with permission.  Then by vagina without.  amirite?
 
2014-05-07 11:39:14 PM  
getting paid to run down college kids? SIGN ME UP!
 
2014-05-07 11:41:17 PM  
You'll never land a husband with that attitude ladies - gonna have to work harder for that communications/media/journalism/english/art history degree.
 
2014-05-07 11:42:17 PM  

octabeck: getting paid to run down college kids? SIGN ME UP!


The only payment offered was the satisfaction of getting to run down college kids.
 
2014-05-07 11:43:56 PM  

fusillade762: I'm sure that ad was 100% legit and in no way someone's idea of a joke.


Actually, I'm quite sure it was real enough, and can easily imagine the drunken logic that went into the placing of it.

"I know I'm gonna fail my final."
"If we're in the hospital, we won't have to take finals!"
"Yeah, but how we gonna get hurt enough to  be in the hospital?"
"Well, I could beat you up, and you could beat me up..."
"Right, like that wouldn't be suspicious."
"We could crash your car..."
"We could crash YOUR car!"
[pause]
"Dude, I have an idea, I saw it on this TV show! We hire somebody to kill us, only not to kill us, just beat us up enough that we have to be in the hospital a while! It will totally work!"
 
2014-05-07 11:44:30 PM  
www.ivstatic.com
 
2014-05-07 11:48:46 PM  

Gyrfalcon: fusillade762: I'm sure that ad was 100% legit and in no way someone's idea of a joke.

Actually, I'm quite sure it was real enough, and can easily imagine the drunken logic that went into the placing of it.


I think it was fake, but I hear you. And to that end, why go in to huge debt for Cs from a mediocre school? Just terrible decisions all the way around.
 
2014-05-07 11:51:20 PM  
Yep sounds like the kind of stupid crap a collage student would come up with. If its not in a book they just can't understand.
 
2014-05-07 11:51:48 PM  

buzzcut73: I found myself thinking the same thing on the way to my calculus final yesterday. Unfortunately, I made it there safely and on time.


that is somewhat sad, I bet a hit man could have integrated some electrical wires and your balls and taught you the limit of how much pain one can stand before loss of consciousness.
 
2014-05-07 11:52:56 PM  

Fallout Boy: buzzcut73: I found myself thinking the same thing on the way to my calculus final yesterday. Unfortunately, I made it there safely and on time.

You have late finals. Mine was over more than 2 weeks ago.

I also think that most college students can relate to being that desperate. It's not as likely a joke as people here would think.


semester or quarter system?  and when the hell did you start if it is a semester system
 
2014-05-07 11:53:41 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
Just in the fleshy part of the thigh.
 
2014-05-07 11:56:16 PM  

buzzcut73: I found myself thinking the same thing on the way to my calculus final yesterday. Unfortunately, I made it there safely and on time.


Which calculus, if you don't mind me asking?
 
2014-05-07 11:56:36 PM  
I mean, I'd plow them in the caboose, if you know what I'm saying and I think you do.
 
2014-05-08 12:02:18 AM  
When I was in the Navy, a kid (18 yrs old) had his leg broken by a shipmate so he wouldn't have to go on a 6 month Westpac deployment. The kid and the shipmate both didn't have to go on deployment. Or anything else, they got booted out. The kid didn't want to go because he was "scared"
 
2014-05-08 12:04:29 AM  
Damn.  You really want $200 worth.  Relax.
 
2014-05-08 12:09:09 AM  

dj_bigbird: Or anything else, they got booted out.


Was it like a dishonorable type discharge that messed them up in civilian life? Just curious.
 
2014-05-08 12:12:05 AM  

WhoopAssWayne: buzzcut73: I found myself thinking the same thing on the way to my calculus final yesterday. Unfortunately, I made it there safely and on time.

Which calculus, if you don't mind me asking?


Calc 1. I understand the material well enough and got decent scores on the midterms, but the department head who writes the final has a reputation for putting evil questions in there that end up sucking up quite a bit of limited time. For example, calculate this derivative (insert some 4th root function with powers underneath the root divided by another irrational function) using the definition of the derivative [(f(x+h)-f(x))/h]. No credit will be given for using derivative rules learned in this class.
 
2014-05-08 12:18:36 AM  

buzzcut73: No credit will be given for using derivative rules learned in this class.


Definitely sounds harsh for calculus 1. In my view, at that level, it's more important to get a good feel - an intuitive understanding - of what is happening overall rather than grinding out some problem that resembles arithmetic more than calculus.
 
2014-05-08 12:20:22 AM  

WhoopAssWayne: dj_bigbird: Or anything else, they got booted out.

Was it like a dishonorable type discharge that messed them up in civilian life? Just curious.


Admin separation (via Captain's Mast). They went to mast together and they, along with all of their stuff, were on the pier in a couple of hours.
 
2014-05-08 12:23:35 AM  
Callahan did this to me!
 
2014-05-08 12:25:53 AM  

dj_bigbird: Admin separation (via Captain's Mast). They went to mast together and they, along with all of their stuff, were on the pier in a couple of hours.


Is that the sort of thing that hangs around their neck in civilian life, like a dishonorable or less than honorable discharge? It sounds pretty bad.
 
2014-05-08 12:29:54 AM  

WhoopAssWayne: buzzcut73: No credit will be given for using derivative rules learned in this class.

Definitely sounds harsh for calculus 1. In my view, at that level, it's more important to get a good feel - an intuitive understanding - of what is happening overall rather than grinding out some problem that resembles arithmetic more than calculus.


That's my thought on the matter. There are a few other classes that I've taken that use a lot of calc, and I do just fine. Our math department seems to want everybody to think like a math major, and that just doesn't work well. Just as an aside, that formula I put in the example question (definition of the derivative) is not included in the question. I only inserted it so people that have taken calc would recall what it is. Can't remember the formula that you last used 14 weeks ago before finding better ways of coming up with the same answer? Too farking bad.
 
2014-05-08 12:31:54 AM  

Fallout Boy: buzzcut73: I found myself thinking the same thing on the way to my calculus final yesterday. Unfortunately, I made it there safely and on time.

You have late finals. Mine was over more than 2 weeks ago.

I also think that most college students can relate to being that desperate. It's not as likely a joke as people here would think.


Since working at a university and becoming good friends with the Dean of Students, I've learned that a lot of students really go off the deep end during midterms and finals. This semester there have been a number of cases where a student's roommate has called the cops because their roommate is having a nervous breakdown and trying to slit their own throat.

No ads for a hitman yet...that we know of
 
2014-05-08 12:46:24 AM  

buzzcut73: There are a few other classes that I've taken that use a lot of calc, and I do just fine


It looks like you have sort of a BS prof/class now for Calc 1. Still keep pushing it forward though with the Calc, especially if you are looking towards a science degree. Calc 2, 3, differential equations, all are a bit tough, but super beneficial if you want to pursue that type of degree. I hate to see this sort of sh*t in an intro class - one that is important - but that happens in college sometimes - it will get better.
 
2014-05-08 12:47:57 AM  

dj_bigbird: When I was in the Navy, a kid (18 yrs old) had his leg broken by a shipmate so he wouldn't have to go on a 6 month Westpac deployment. The kid and the shipmate both didn't have to go on deployment. Or anything else, they got booted out. The kid didn't want to go because he was "scared"


I've often wondered why the legal age for recruitment is still younger than the accepted age that most prefrontal cortex development has finished.  But the cynical side of my brain knows why.
 
2014-05-08 12:58:16 AM  

dj_bigbird: WhoopAssWayne: dj_bigbird: Or anything else, they got booted out.

Was it like a dishonorable type discharge that messed them up in civilian life? Just curious.

Admin separation (via Captain's Mast). They went to mast together and they, along with all of their stuff, were on the pier in a couple of hours.


So the Navy broke up with them?
 
2014-05-08 01:04:01 AM  

Ambivalence: So the Navy broke up with them?


You look like my 6th grade teacher from back in the 80s. I bet you love Annie Lenonx and the Eurythmics.
 
2014-05-08 01:10:55 AM  

BalugaJoe: Usually they just call in a bomb threat.


Usually they just study.
 
2014-05-08 01:13:03 AM  

WhoopAssWayne: Ambivalence: So the Navy broke up with them?

You look like my 6th grade teacher from back in the 80s. I bet you love Annie Lenonx and the Eurythmics.


LOL!  I don't even know who that is. I actually was in 6th grade in the 80s so I"m probably pretty close to you in age.
 
2014-05-08 01:19:50 AM  

Ambivalence: LOL!  I don't even know who that is. I actually was in 6th grade in the 80s so I"m probably pretty close to you in age.


I'm 41. My 6th grade teacher loved "Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree, travel the world and the seven seas..... " etc

Anyway, you favor her. Glad to know you are Gen X.
 
2014-05-08 01:23:12 AM  

2wolves: Someone watched 'Dirty Harry.'


First thing I thought of as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvAs1pos3TA
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-08 01:23:17 AM  

WhoopAssWayne: Ambivalence: LOL!  I don't even know who that is. I actually was in 6th grade in the 80s so I"m probably pretty close to you in age.

I'm 41. My 6th grade teacher loved "Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree, travel the world and the seven seas..... " etc

Anyway, you favor her. Glad to know you are Gen X.


OH yes, very close in age (not saying how close of course).

Woo!  GenX forevah!

/shiat, now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head.  Darn your hide.
 
2014-05-08 01:24:28 AM  

CivicMindedFive: Damn.  You really want $200 worth.  Relax.


Every penny of it.
 
2014-05-08 01:27:03 AM  

Ambivalence: /shiat, now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head.  Darn your hide.


Yeah, me too - sort of jinxed myself on that one - also, love your username - perfect for an 80s kid.
 
2014-05-08 02:04:07 AM  

WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: fusillade762: I'm sure that ad was 100% legit and in no way someone's idea of a joke.

Actually, I'm quite sure it was real enough, and can easily imagine the drunken logic that went into the placing of it.

I think it was fake, but I hear you. And to that end, why go in to huge debt for Cs from a mediocre school? Just terrible decisions all the way around.


Yeah, either-or. Alcohol was definitely involved, whether it was a genuine lets-not-take-this-final or har-har-wont-this-be-funny decision.
 
2014-05-08 06:20:53 AM  
Miles to go before I sleep.
 
2014-05-08 07:04:52 AM  

buzzcut73: WhoopAssWayne: buzzcut73: No credit will be given for using derivative rules learned in this class.

Definitely sounds harsh for calculus 1. In my view, at that level, it's more important to get a good feel - an intuitive understanding - of what is happening overall rather than grinding out some problem that resembles arithmetic more than calculus.

That's my thought on the matter. There are a few other classes that I've taken that use a lot of calc, and I do just fine. Our math department seems to want everybody to think like a math major, and that just doesn't work well. Just as an aside, that formula I put in the example question (definition of the derivative) is not included in the question. I only inserted it so people that have taken calc would recall what it is. Can't remember the formula that you last used 14 weeks ago before finding better ways of coming up with the same answer? Too farking bad.


There is nothing whatsoever wrong with expecting you to know one of the subject's basic definitions.  If you don't understand how to use limits to get derivatives (and what that means geometrically--it's not just some arbitrary-looking formula), then you don't know the subject well enough yet.  You need to understand what you are doing in order to avoid crashing and burning later, and it is reasonable to expect you to know what a derivative is.

However, solving long arithmetic problems is actually a waste of time and doesn't test your knowledge or understanding of calculus or your ability to use what you learned.  Either the problem you mentioned has some fairly obvious simplification method that makes it straightforward (it's not too much to expect you to think on your feet and find something like that) or you are exaggerating.

Also, doing long calculations is the opposite of thinking like a math major.  Calculations are for engineers.
 
2014-05-08 08:05:35 AM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Picture of the student.

[thenypost.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]


I wasn't sure anyone else on the planet had seen that movie...

"All we need is a voluntary, free-spirited, open-ended program of procreative racial deconstruction. Everybody just gotta keep farkin' everybody 'til they're all the same color!"
 
2014-05-08 08:17:21 AM  
Procrastinators have certainly raised the bar.
 
Displayed 50 of 57 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report