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(The Local)   And the latest excuse for your fat ass is *throws dart* airplane noise   (thelocal.se) divider line 34
    More: Strange, aircraft noise, coal plant, Vattenfall  
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3305 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2014 at 9:13 PM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-07 06:36:48 PM
I switched to Airport Noise Litetm a long time ago. It's got one-third the calories of Regular Airport Noise.
 
2014-05-07 07:10:24 PM

Danger Avoid Death: I switched to Airport Noise Litetm a long time ago. It's got one-third the calories of Regular Airport Noise.


But it can give you runway diarrhea.
 
2014-05-07 08:34:00 PM
I'm getting my fat ass on a plane in 11 hours, so I'm getting a kick....
 
2014-05-07 09:18:21 PM
seems reasonable that if more stress makes you fat and living next to an airport is stressful then living next to an airport would cause weight gain. Though I don't know why these guys are doing lawyers and insurance adjusters work for them.
 
2014-05-07 09:20:07 PM
Perhaps it's because real estate around airports is cheaper because of the noise. And if you're willing to live around that you probably don't mind eating fast food several times a week.
 
2014-05-07 09:20:18 PM

""If you are highly exposed to noise then it means an increase of six centimetres (in stomach size) compared to no exposure to noise at all," researcher Charlotta Eriksson, the study's lead author, told Sveriges Television (SVT)."


Tell 'er she's dreaming!


i1.ytimg.com

 
2014-05-07 09:20:23 PM
You wake up in the middle of the night you either eat or fark.  Since you're next to a goddamn airport chances are your only option is eating.
 
2014-05-07 09:21:21 PM
That's it. I'm calling my lawyer!
 
2014-05-07 09:25:22 PM
I dunno, maybe don't buy property near the airport then? It isn't like they hide the things.

/Doesn't mind airport noise
//Lived under the departure path for 3 years
///Kind of miss it
 
2014-05-07 09:26:44 PM

charlesmartel11235: seems reasonable that if more stress makes you fat and living next to an airport is stressful then living next to an airport would cause weight gain. Though I don't know why these guys are doing lawyers and insurance adjusters work for them.


Third variable: poor people buy the cheap obnoxious houses, and poor people tend to be less smart and educated, also associated with being a fatty.

That out of the way I would not be surprised in the least to find the airplane noise has effects on our health.
 
2014-05-07 09:28:37 PM

FriarReb98: I'm getting my fat ass on a plane in 11 hours, so I'm getting a kick....


Yeah, right off the plane if you don't buy that second seat.
 
2014-05-07 09:29:34 PM

DubtodaIll: Perhaps it's because real estate around airports is cheaper because of the noise. And if you're willing to live around that you probably don't mind eating fast food several times a week.


This. Poor people.
 
2014-05-07 09:30:28 PM
It has long been studied and known that noise, particularly low frequency noise (ie. rumbling engines, heavy equipment, windmills, etc) cause serious physiological disturbances in animals and humans.
 
2014-05-07 09:36:14 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-07 09:42:30 PM
I know my fat ass frequently makes noises that sound like an airplane.
 
2014-05-07 09:45:23 PM
My uncle lived near JFK. Nothing will wake you up faster than a 747 about 6 hundred feet above your house.
 
2014-05-07 10:05:56 PM
global3.memecdn.com
 
2014-05-07 10:07:05 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-07 10:23:35 PM
Any word on the health risks of the sound of jackhammers yet?
 
2014-05-07 10:25:00 PM
Goddamit, fatties, enough already. Enough. Now I think every excuse is just bullshiat. I'm starting to think you aren't just big-boned even
 
2014-05-07 10:36:08 PM
I began reading the article, but was distracted by "Swedish boys will court your foreign daughters" & "Swedes haven't forgotten hobgoblins and naked witches". Sweden always sounds like so much fun.
 
2014-05-07 11:05:17 PM

iron de havilland: Any word on the health risks of the sound of jackhammers yet?


img.fark.net

you knew I was going to...
 
2014-05-07 11:22:23 PM
Wait, you mean I can claim someone else for my weight? Here I thought it was me the whole time. I can't believe I started working out and eating better when it was dinner planes fault, not mine!
 
2014-05-08 12:06:06 AM

Danger Avoid Death: I switched to Airport Noise Litetm a long time ago. It's got one-third the calories of Regular Airport Noise.


And it's time for bed. Internet you won.
 
2014-05-08 12:44:30 AM

buzzcut73: I dunno, maybe don't buy property near the airport then? It isn't like they hide the things.

/Doesn't mind airport noise
//Lived under the departure path for 3 years
///Kind of miss it


A guy I knew back in San Antonio bought a house near the airport. Said he went to view the house during the day a few times and the jet noise was barely noticeable, so he closed. After the weekend he moved in, all he did was complain about the noise. Turns out that the house was right under the final approach for the NE/SW (4/22) runway, which doesn't get used all that much
 
2014-05-08 01:22:11 AM
Excuses.  I drink too much and don't exercise enough.  Then, I exercise enough and lose it.  Then I don't.  Then I do.  Ad Nauseum.

People focus too much on that crap instead of simply living.
 
2014-05-08 01:50:50 AM

uncleacid: My uncle lived near JFK. Nothing will wake you up faster than a 747 about 6 hundred feet above your house.


I'm fascinated by the sort of mind it would take to use the numeral "6" and then go to the effort of spelling out "hundred". There seems to be some sort of efficiency battle going on in your head and I'm going to favorite you so I can see who wins.
 
2014-05-08 02:55:36 AM

Mr. Ekshun: uncleacid: My uncle lived near JFK. Nothing will wake you up faster than a 747 about 6 hundred feet above your house.

I'm fascinated by the sort of mind it would take to use the numeral "6" and then go to the effort of spelling out "hundred". There seems to be some sort of efficiency battle going on in your head and I'm going to favorite you so I can see who wins.


You're life must be one of extraordinary banality if this is the sort of thing that "fascinates" you.
 
2014-05-08 05:27:26 AM

WhoGAS: Mr. Ekshun: uncleacid: My uncle lived near JFK. Nothing will wake you up faster than a 747 about 6 hundred feet above your house.

I'm fascinated by the sort of mind it would take to use the numeral "6" and then go to the effort of spelling out "hundred". There seems to be some sort of efficiency battle going on in your head and I'm going to favorite you so I can see who wins.

You're life must be one of extraordinary banality if this is the sort of thing that "fascinates" you.


Can banality actually be extraordinary? Don't those two concepts sort of collide?

But yes, I apologize for being lighthearted and whimsical on the internet. As soon as I get a chance I'll look around for something which makes me sick with rage at total strangers. Perhaps you could make a recommendation?
 
2014-05-08 06:35:53 AM
They need another excuse? I don't think so.
 
2014-05-08 08:10:16 AM
My fat ass has lost 45 lbs in the last seven months. Cholesterol numbers cut in half. The secret? Lots and lots of cocaine.
 
2014-05-08 08:55:05 AM

WhoGAS: Mr. Ekshun: uncleacid: My uncle lived near JFK. Nothing will wake you up faster than a 747 about 6 hundred feet above your house.

I'm fascinated by the sort of mind it would take to use the numeral "6" and then go to the effort of spelling out "hundred". There seems to be some sort of efficiency battle going on in your head and I'm going to favorite you so I can see who wins.

You're life must be one of extraordinary banality if this is the sort of thing that "fascinates" you.


don't knock banality.  This is good stuff.
 
2014-05-08 02:19:12 PM

Mr. Ekshun: WhoGAS: Mr. Ekshun: uncleacid: My uncle lived near JFK. Nothing will wake you up faster than a 747 about 6 hundred feet above your house.

I'm fascinated by the sort of mind it would take to use the numeral "6" and then go to the effort of spelling out "hundred". There seems to be some sort of efficiency battle going on in your head and I'm going to favorite you so I can see who wins.

You're life must be one of extraordinary banality if this is the sort of thing that "fascinates" you.

Can banality actually be extraordinary? Don't those two concepts sort of collide?

But yes, I apologize for being lighthearted and whimsical on the internet. As soon as I get a chance I'll look around for something which makes me sick with rage at total strangers. Perhaps you could make a recommendation?


I like oxymorons.  They're two things in one!

Hey, so was I!  We're like, internet brothers and shiat.  Sweet!

:o)
 
2014-05-08 04:26:03 PM

foo monkey: My fat ass has lost 45 lbs in the last seven months. Cholesterol numbers cut in half. The secret? Lots and lots of cocaine.


wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net

Pam? Is that you?
 
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