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(Talking Points Memo)   82-year-old former Senator Alan Simpson (R-etired) gives sex and relationship advice. Dear Abby unavailable for comment   (talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 19
    More: Strange, Senator Alan, relationship counseling, Anita Hill, senator, WNYC  
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881 clicks; posted to Politics » on 07 May 2014 at 8:17 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



19 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-07 05:20:59 PM
I'd say, ok [pant-pant-pant]

He's out of breath just thinking about it.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-05-07 05:38:11 PM
No advice about picking up men in airport restrooms?  I'm surprised.
 
2014-05-07 06:05:00 PM
"I'd had a wife who'd had much more harassment than Anita Hill," the former senator recalled. "And that's when I lost my marbles. I thought, what is this? I mean, for God's sake, what did he do? Well, nothing...I was a monster. I was just pissed to the core."

Umm, what? Someone tell grandpa to go lie down for a bit.
 
2014-05-07 06:24:38 PM
upload.wikimedia.org Apparently, advice is free!
 
2014-05-07 07:03:02 PM
Whenever I hear "Dear Abby", I always think of this classic song:

Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call
Signed, Bewildered

Bewildered, Bewildered...
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
Signed, Unhappy

Unhappy, Unhappy...
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
Signed, Noise-maker

Noise-maker, Noise-maker
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed, Just Married

Just Married, Just Married...
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
Signed ... Dear Abby.

-- John Prine, Dear Abby. (Link to YouTube).
 
2014-05-07 07:31:47 PM
Former Senator Simpson should be dispensing his advice from Cell Block D.
 
2014-05-07 08:41:38 PM
I read that as Abe Simpson.
 
2014-05-07 09:00:04 PM
Fly-on-the-wall hell ... he and Dr. Ruth discussing oral sex.
 
2014-05-07 10:10:02 PM
Because she's dead.
 
2014-05-07 10:41:56 PM

psilocyberguy: Former Senator Simpson should be dispensing his advice from Cell Block D H.


/Obsure
 
2014-05-07 10:53:59 PM
Dafuq..

o_O
 
2014-05-08 01:40:55 AM

Fart_Machine: I read that as Abe Simpson.


He's more Monty Burns than Abe Simpson.
 
2014-05-08 04:20:54 AM

vpb: No advice about picking up men in airport restrooms?  I'm surprised.


uhh, you're an idiot.

Simpson was an awesome Senator and public speaker.  Well-liked and bipartisan.  Obama appointed him to co-lead the commission to fix the budget.  It must have been great since both parties hated it.
 
2014-05-08 05:39:13 AM
"A whack on the fanny" is career-ending in the UK...
 
2014-05-08 08:24:16 AM

AMonkey'sUncle: psilocyberguy: Former Senator Simpson should be dispensing his advice from Cell Block D H.

/Obsure


Ha! I used to watch that show while waiting for Benny Hill to come on... every once in a while you'd see a shower scene, complete with English, middle-aged prison boobs.

Also, how did this line of conversation even come up? Did some reporter ask this 80+ year old man if he still bangs his wife, or did the former senator just sort of offer it up, apropos of nothing?
 
2014-05-08 08:46:09 AM
Dang, I was off.  I put the over/under at between 7-10 TPM links for the day and there were only 4.
 
2014-05-08 08:57:55 AM
If you want to know how to keep a marriage fresh into your 80s, take retired Sen. Alan Simpson's (R-WY) advice. = Bang your cousin at the family reunion. Remember in West Virginia it is all relative.
 
2014-05-08 09:06:46 PM
Visit Deer Abbey. Thanks to our friendly Friars, you'll be sure to leave with horns.
 
2014-05-09 02:21:29 AM

Bob Robert: tbeatty: Simpson was an awesome Senator and public speaker. Well-liked and bipartisan. Obama appointed him to co-lead the commission to fix the budget. It must have been great since both parties hated it.

He wasn't up for election so of course he could make tough decisions that politicians couldn't


Dude, look at his record as a senator.  The positions he took twenty years ago Obama and Clinton only evolved into in the last 2.  He was #2 in the Senate as a pro-choice, pro-gay marriage libertarian Republican.  Obama would have condemned his libertarian idealism 20 years ago.
 
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