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(Christian Science Monitor)   Nigeria would welcome the US military as liberators, honest   (csmonitor.com) divider line 67
    More: Unlikely, Nigerians, Boko Haram, United States Africa Command, Abubakar Shekau, Voice of America, crisis negotiation, Kony, Amy Klobuchar  
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2447 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2014 at 3:04 PM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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vpb [TotalFark]
2014-05-07 12:10:19 PM
The Nigerian people would be outraged if we sent them the reconnaissance assets they asked us for.  It would be worse than Iraq.
 
2014-05-07 12:21:07 PM
Nigeria has oil, so it's worth liberating.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-05-07 02:23:23 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Nigeria has oil, so it's worth liberating.


Not in that part of the country.
 
2014-05-07 03:07:37 PM
We aren't the policemen of the world.
 
2014-05-07 03:08:50 PM
ftfa:  The girls were snatched in mid-April by Boko Haram, which has threatened to sell them for $12 each.

Well shiat, wouldn't it just be cheaper to buy them back?
 
2014-05-07 03:11:31 PM
Goodluck with that Jonathon.
 
2014-05-07 03:11:31 PM

BigLuca: ftfa:  The girls were snatched in mid-April by Boko Haram, which has threatened to sell them for $12 each.

Well shiat, wouldn't it just be cheaper to buy them back?


yeah but then the win
 
2014-05-07 03:11:56 PM

toadist: We aren't the policemen of the world.


It's not imperialism when "we" do it.
 
2014-05-07 03:13:21 PM
Here we go again.
 
2014-05-07 03:14:14 PM
How about we charge them for the liberation service, plus all the money they have swindled US citizens out of over the years?
 
2014-05-07 03:14:34 PM
This is all Boko Haram's fault. First she broke up the Beatles, now this.
 
2014-05-07 03:15:13 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Nigeria has oil, so it's worth liberating.


Shell is already there working with a govt run company.
 
2014-05-07 03:16:10 PM

toadist: We aren't the policemen of the world.


Indeed not. But, we're aiding the Syrians and every other third world *cough* nation on the planet so one more won't matter.
 
2014-05-07 03:20:15 PM

BigLuca: ftfa:  The girls were snatched in mid-April by Boko Haram, which has threatened to sell them for $12 each.

Well shiat, wouldn't it just be cheaper to buy them back?


Sure, but where's the fun in that? Unless, of course, you put a GPS tracker in the ransom money and send them a bonus drone attack.

I can't believe how far down and desperate Boko Haram has gone. Seems like only yesterday they were singing "Conquistador" and "Whiter Shade of Pale" and now they have sunk to this.
 
2014-05-07 03:22:31 PM

monoski: Marcus Aurelius: Nigeria has oil, so it's worth liberating.

Shell is already there working with a govt run company.


Huh. IIRC, that's who ended up with Iraq's oil. Coincidence?
 
2014-05-07 03:24:01 PM

toadist: We aren't the policemen of the world.


We're more like the biggest bully on the block. No one wants us around until they are getting picked on by a medium-sized bully.
 
2014-05-07 03:24:56 PM

BigLuca: ftfa:  The girls were snatched in mid-April by Boko Haram, which has threatened to sell them for $12 each.

Well shiat, wouldn't it just be cheaper to buy them back?


AT $12 each, a bake sale could almost raise the money.
 
2014-05-07 03:25:28 PM
did they say please
 
2014-05-07 03:25:28 PM

BigLuca: ftfa:  The girls were snatched in mid-April by Boko Haram, which has threatened to sell them for $12 each.

Well shiat, wouldn't it just be cheaper to buy them back?


Once around 2004 when we were only a year into Iraq, some of us junior officer types in the military unit I was in noted that a significant portion of the US 'plan' at the time was getting young Iraqi men jobs.  Turns out that only ran $100/month to hire them.  I reasoned that it would be way way cheaper to just hire all Iraqi men and pay them $200/month (100% raise!) to simply report somewhere 8 hours a day for supervision.  There are 32 million people in the country.  If half are male that's 16.  half of them working age we get to 8.  i million times $200 is only $1.6 billion per month.  When claims of why there were violent groups forming all pointed to unemployed youth it seemed an odd thing that we weren't just wholesale hiring them.  Oh yes there were school building programs and such but that's not what I'm talking about.  you can't hire that many in that way.  Just have them show up and hang out in a supervised place.  Play soccer, smoke weed, I don't care.  Just don't go out for hire because you are bored, pissed off, and broke.
 
2014-05-07 03:28:10 PM
If we aren't greeted as liberators, the media will just suppress the stories until there's a Republican in the White House.
 
2014-05-07 03:28:15 PM

Hector Remarkable: This is all Boko Haram's fault. First she broke up the Beatles, now this.


weak.
i.imgur.com
:)
 
2014-05-07 03:29:27 PM
This indeed is a disgusting situation.

And I'm not sure who is worse.  You could say it's the people that are snatching up these women (girls, really) to sell into slavery.  I say the people that would actually PAY for them are at LEAST as much to blame.  The people that pay some friggin pimp to have sex with them are probably even worse!  They should get a bullet through the skull at the same time the seller does.

How these people have completely dehumanized the womenfolk of their country is just baffling and sickening all at once.

Catch these bastards and publicly execute the whole lot of them.
 
2014-05-07 03:29:33 PM

BigLuca: ftfa:  The girls were snatched in mid-April by Boko Haram, which has threatened to sell them for $12 each.

Well shiat, wouldn't it just be cheaper to buy them back?

He could have made far more money for far less trouble by selling just one British medical school virgin.

 
2014-05-07 03:32:50 PM
Isn't there a team of mercenaries living in the LA area that might be of help in this situation?
 
2014-05-07 03:32:57 PM

durbnpoisn: This indeed is a disgusting situation.

And I'm not sure who is worse.  You could say it's the people that are snatching up these women (girls, really) to sell into slavery.  I say the people that would actually PAY for them are at LEAST as much to blame.  The people that pay some friggin pimp to have sex with them are probably even worse!  They should get a bullet through the skull at the same time the seller does.

How these people have completely dehumanized the womenfolk of their country is just baffling and sickening all at once.

Catch these bastards and publicly execute the whole lot of them.


You can't dehumanize someone that was never humanized.
 
2014-05-07 03:34:13 PM

toadist: We aren't the policemen of the world.


While I vacillate on this idea, the kidnapping of children would be a sufficient troll to warrant level of intervention.
Take the Israeli approach; go in, severe a few key heads, get out.
 
2014-05-07 03:34:16 PM

brandent: BigLuca: ftfa:  The girls were snatched in mid-April by Boko Haram, which has threatened to sell them for $12 each.

Well shiat, wouldn't it just be cheaper to buy them back?

Once around 2004 when we were only a year into Iraq, some of us junior officer types in the military unit I was in noted that a significant portion of the US 'plan' at the time was getting young Iraqi men jobs.  Turns out that only ran $100/month to hire them.  I reasoned that it would be way way cheaper to just hire all Iraqi men and pay them $200/month (100% raise!) to simply report somewhere 8 hours a day for supervision.  There are 32 million people in the country.  If half are male that's 16.  half of them working age we get to 8.  i million times $200 is only $1.6 billion per month.  When claims of why there were violent groups forming all pointed to unemployed youth it seemed an odd thing that we weren't just wholesale hiring them.  Oh yes there were school building programs and such but that's not what I'm talking about.  you can't hire that many in that way.  Just have them show up and hang out in a supervised place.  Play soccer, smoke weed, I don't care.  Just don't go out for hire because you are bored, pissed off, and broke.


Well, that was a good plan, but Halliburton doesn't own a staffing agency.
 
2014-05-07 03:36:45 PM
Will it only take a week and pay for it's self?
 
2014-05-07 03:45:12 PM
You guys (Americans) need to stop believing that

1.) everyone hates you
2.) you're the worlds unilateral policeman
3.) that's a bad thing
4.) everything is about oil
 
2014-05-07 03:46:11 PM

BigLuca: ftfa:  The girls were snatched in mid-April by Boko Haram, which has threatened to sell them for $12 each.

Well shiat, wouldn't it just be cheaper to buy them back?


I said that when I heard it on the radio. Here's my plan: Nigeria is offering 300k for the return of the girls, safely. there are between 200-300 girls captured and currently for sale. Lets imagine the Terrorists charge $100 a head: I will walk in there with a smile, hand them $30,000 in gps marked bills in large denominations, and walk out with my 'harem' (I'll tell them I'm a pimp wholesaler or something). I'll wander near to a military base, get "captured" with my harem (to assuage the suspicion of the terrorists) and then use the remaining 250k (assuming 20k for travel and expenses) to throw a kickass celebration back home. Then I'll let the military do their job of tracking the currency.

The only thing that is keeping me from executing this plan is that I'm not sure where I have to go to make this purchase.
 
2014-05-07 03:47:41 PM
We can, with the WRITTEN request of the head of state provide support and even reconnaissance. But at the end of the day, the guys who kick in the doors better be Nigerian or at least AU.  The last thing we need is images of a bunch of white American guys swooping in and kicking an Islamic groups behind, no matter how richly they deserve it.
 
2014-05-07 03:49:37 PM
These AQ guys are trying to drag us into another ground conflict so they can demoralize the general public with images of coffins coming off military cargo planes.  These girls are just the bait.
 
2014-05-07 03:50:28 PM
Buying the girls "ourselves" would only encourage more kidnappings, sadly. (Same reason the US government will not pay ransoms for kidnapped citizens -- it would just encourage more kidnapping/hostage taking. So, other (more costly) solutions are needed.
 
2014-05-07 03:51:31 PM

Slaxl: You guys (Americans) need to stop believing that

1.) everyone hates you
2.) you're the worlds unilateral policeman
3.) that's a bad thing
4.) everything is about oil


I don't believe any of that nonsense.
 
2014-05-07 03:52:24 PM

Slaxl: You guys (Americans) need to stop believing that

1.) everyone hates you
2.) you're the worlds unilateral policeman
3.) that's a bad thing
4.) everything is about oil


1) we took a REAL PR beating during the Iraq years.  We couldn't help but notice.
2) There is a lot more resistance to that approach than you would probably believe.  As a group, we're kind of sick and tiered of being at war, and not that eager to jump right back in again.  This is for reasons both good (escalating wars can get a lot of folks killed) and bad (It's hella expensive).
3)  The jury is still out.
4) If I had a nickel for every time someone in a faroff land stated or implied that "The US is doing X just because of oil" or "the Iraq war was just an excuse to gain more control over oil", or even "the war in Afghanistan is just a ruse designed to create pipelines for natural gas out of the Central Asian Republics", I'd be a wealthy man.
 
2014-05-07 03:52:43 PM
Sure thing, Nigeria. Just as soon as those millions and millions of dollars from those checks come in from those bank accounts your Princes kept promising us, we can secure the funding needed to carry out this support.
 
2014-05-07 03:53:45 PM

Miss5280: Buying the girls "ourselves" would only encourage more kidnappings, sadly. (Same reason the US government will not pay ransoms for kidnapped citizens -- it would just encourage more kidnapping/hostage taking. So, other (more costly) solutions are needed.


And while we have our dander up, should we be considering dismantling a system where women are routinely sold for cash?
 
2014-05-07 03:56:47 PM

Naesen: The only thing that is keeping me from executing this plan is that I'm not sure where I have to go to make this purchase.


Can we be lulzy buttholes about it and pay them off in Bitcoin?
 
2014-05-07 03:59:37 PM

durbnpoisn: This indeed is a disgusting situation.

And I'm not sure who is worse.  You could say it's the people that are snatching up these women (girls, really) to sell into slavery.  I say the people that would actually PAY for them are at LEAST as much to blame.  The people that pay some friggin pimp to have sex with them are probably even worse!  They should get a bullet through the skull at the same time the seller does.

How these people have completely dehumanized the womenfolk of their country is just baffling and sickening all at once.

Catch these bastards and publicly execute the whole lot of them.


You're a female, right? I can hear those ovaries humming as they turn into little Chernobyls of FEMRAGE all the way from over here.
 
2014-05-07 04:01:18 PM

TV's Vinnie: Naesen: The only thing that is keeping me from executing this plan is that I'm not sure where I have to go to make this purchase.

Can we be lulzy buttholes about it and pay them off in Bitcoin?


It may add to the legitimacy of a man dressed as the Burger King wandering into a terrorist slave camp in the jungles of Nigeria claiming to be a pimp wholesaler. "This cryptocurrency is completely untraceable and used by black markets everywhere!" Then just transmit the geolocation of the transaction to authorities.

Ever consider taking a trip to Nigeria?
 
2014-05-07 04:02:08 PM

durbnpoisn: And I'm not sure who is worse. You could say it's the people that are snatching up these women (girls, really) to sell into slavery. I say the people that would actually PAY for them are at LEAST as much to blame. The people that pay some friggin pimp to have sex with them are probably even worse! They should get a bullet through the skull at the same time the seller does.


If it makes you feel any better, what will likely happen is that they will end up being married off for a fee.

/no, and it shouldn't.
 
2014-05-07 04:05:07 PM

TV's Vinnie: durbnpoisn: This indeed is a disgusting situation.

And I'm not sure who is worse.  You could say it's the people that are snatching up these women (girls, really) to sell into slavery.  I say the people that would actually PAY for them are at LEAST as much to blame.  The people that pay some friggin pimp to have sex with them are probably even worse!  They should get a bullet through the skull at the same time the seller does.

How these people have completely dehumanized the womenfolk of their country is just baffling and sickening all at once.

Catch these bastards and publicly execute the whole lot of them.

You're a female, right? I can hear those ovaries humming as they turn into little Chernobyls of FEMRAGE all the way from over here.


Female?  Jeez...  Take two seconds to look at my profile.  This is a human rights issue.  Not male/female thing.  Everyone should be outraged.
 
2014-05-07 04:05:23 PM
as low as $12 shiat it's gotta suck to be that girl. "but my friends went for $31.99!!"

/probably should just pay the damn ransom, and track the farkers by sat/high alt plane, then send in a little of the US's best export, death from above.
 
2014-05-07 04:14:57 PM
I hope they kill every last one of those psychos. Though realistically it's going to get very bloody.
 
2014-05-07 04:15:04 PM

durbnpoisn: TV's Vinnie: durbnpoisn: This indeed is a disgusting situation.

And I'm not sure who is worse.  You could say it's the people that are snatching up these women (girls, really) to sell into slavery.  I say the people that would actually PAY for them are at LEAST as much to blame.  The people that pay some friggin pimp to have sex with them are probably even worse!  They should get a bullet through the skull at the same time the seller does.

How these people have completely dehumanized the womenfolk of their country is just baffling and sickening all at once.

Catch these bastards and publicly execute the whole lot of them.

You're a female, right? I can hear those ovaries humming as they turn into little Chernobyls of FEMRAGE all the way from over here.

Female?  Jeez...  Take two seconds to look at my profile.  This is a human rights issue.  Not male/female thing.  Everyone should be outraged.


Seriously.  I'm a guy and I tend not to support military involvement in foreign affairs, but in this case I have no qualms about emptying a few clips of western education into these terrorists.
 
2014-05-07 04:15:06 PM
We've come a long way.  You used to have to pay people to take your daughters now they're paying you!
 
2014-05-07 04:20:09 PM

anfrind: durbnpoisn: TV's Vinnie: durbnpoisn: This indeed is a disgusting situation.

And I'm not sure who is worse.  You could say it's the people that are snatching up these women (girls, really) to sell into slavery.  I say the people that would actually PAY for them are at LEAST as much to blame.  The people that pay some friggin pimp to have sex with them are probably even worse!  They should get a bullet through the skull at the same time the seller does.

How these people have completely dehumanized the womenfolk of their country is just baffling and sickening all at once.

Catch these bastards and publicly execute the whole lot of them.

You're a female, right? I can hear those ovaries humming as they turn into little Chernobyls of FEMRAGE all the way from over here.

Female?  Jeez...  Take two seconds to look at my profile.  This is a human rights issue.  Not male/female thing.  Everyone should be outraged.

Seriously.  I'm a guy and I tend not to support military involvement in foreign affairs, but in this case I have no qualms about emptying a few clips of western education into these terrorists.


I agree except for the last part where you refer to them as terrorists.
Terrorists actually have a larger ballgame going on.  There is a reason they are trying to terrorize people. (Whatever that may be.)  But these guys are using their belief that the wemon are nothing but property, and selling them into slavery - for profit.  That sounds more mercenary than terrorist.
 
2014-05-07 04:21:41 PM

BigLuca: Well shiat, wouldn't it just be cheaper to buy them back?


img.fark.net

Technically yes, but I suspect that isn't the point of our support. I also doubt they'll just sell the children back to us once they realize who's paying the ransom.
Pay these guys for mayhem and it generates more mayhem.

Granted I'd have no objection to paying if it means getting the girls out of danger for now, But in the long run someones got to lay down some serious law. Otherwise they'll just go on another round of kidnappings.


/or worse.
/Its as much about making a play for control of the outlands than it is about making a prophet.
 
2014-05-07 04:27:05 PM

anfrind: durbnpoisn: TV's Vinnie: durbnpoisn: This indeed is a disgusting situation.

And I'm not sure who is worse.  You could say it's the people that are snatching up these women (girls, really) to sell into slavery.  I say the people that would actually PAY for them are at LEAST as much to blame.  The people that pay some friggin pimp to have sex with them are probably even worse!  They should get a bullet through the skull at the same time the seller does.

How these people have completely dehumanized the womenfolk of their country is just baffling and sickening all at once.

Catch these bastards and publicly execute the whole lot of them.

You're a female, right? I can hear those ovaries humming as they turn into little Chernobyls of FEMRAGE all the way from over here.

Female?  Jeez...  Take two seconds to look at my profile.  This is a human rights issue.  Not male/female thing.  Everyone should be outraged.

Seriously.  I'm a guy and I tend not to support military involvement in foreign affairs, but in this case I have no qualms about emptying a few clips of western education into these terrorists.


I find it very interesting that if this was a story about a bunch of Nigerian solders getting blown up in a truck, nobody panics.

But when you hear about a bunch of schoolgirls getting abducted and sold into slavery, well then EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MINDS!!

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-07 04:30:20 PM

TV's Vinnie: anfrind: durbnpoisn: TV's Vinnie: durbnpoisn: This indeed is a disgusting situation.

And I'm not sure who is worse.  You could say it's the people that are snatching up these women (girls, really) to sell into slavery.  I say the people that would actually PAY for them are at LEAST as much to blame.  The people that pay some friggin pimp to have sex with them are probably even worse!  They should get a bullet through the skull at the same time the seller does.

How these people have completely dehumanized the womenfolk of their country is just baffling and sickening all at once.

Catch these bastards and publicly execute the whole lot of them.

You're a female, right? I can hear those ovaries humming as they turn into little Chernobyls of FEMRAGE all the way from over here.

Female?  Jeez...  Take two seconds to look at my profile.  This is a human rights issue.  Not male/female thing.  Everyone should be outraged.

Seriously.  I'm a guy and I tend not to support military involvement in foreign affairs, but in this case I have no qualms about emptying a few clips of western education into these terrorists.

I find it very interesting that if this was a story about a bunch of Nigerian solders getting blown up in a truck, nobody panics.

But when you hear about a bunch of schoolgirls getting abducted and sold into slavery, well then EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MINDS!!

[img.fark.net image 280x190]


"Woud you prefer a different target?  A military target?!"

Even Grand Moff Tarkin understood the difference between innocents and the military.
Of course that didn't stop him from blowing up a whole planet of innocents.
 
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