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(WTSP)   Hallmark now making Mother's Day cards for kids with two moms who are too cheap to buy two cards   (wtsp.com) divider line 43
    More: Spiffy, Hallmark, Mother's Day, moms  
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1922 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 May 2014 at 3:07 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-07 01:02:25 PM
If there's one industry I wouldn't mind seeing go straight down the toilet, it's the greeting card industry. Is there any more insincere, lazy way to acknowledge an occasion? Save yourself $6, get some note cards and write someone a handwritten note if you want to express greetings for someone on their Birthday / Anniversary / Holiday. Better yet, if you really care that much about someone to acknowledge them, why not get them a gift, some food, something homemade, anything besides another damn card. If my relatives offered me a choice between a $5 card on my Birthday to tell me they care, or a package of cookies, I would take the cookies every day of the week and twice on a Sunday.

What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways? How long are you supposed to save that Birthday card from your aunt? Are you supposed to hold onto them indefinitely and have a filing cabinet full of a lifetimes worth of greeting cards? Obviously sentimental stuff from your wife or your kids or whatever you might want to save, but what about the other ones?
 
2014-05-07 01:56:00 PM
"Enjoy the Lake of Fire in Hell, you sinful whores!"
 
2014-05-07 02:40:40 PM
"I love that your my mom's
you tuck me in so snugly
so you can head off to your room
and proceed to bumping uglies

Happy Mother's Day Moms!"
 
2014-05-07 03:13:04 PM
Here is a way to save money on greeting cards. Take the person to the store and pick one out and have them read it them put it back. If they are not local, take a pic of the card, inside and out, and send it to them.

I have done both of these for birthdays and holidays and it works.
 
2014-05-07 03:14:31 PM

spman: What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways? How long are you supposed to save that Birthday card from your aunt? Are you supposed to hold onto them indefinitely and have a filing cabinet full of a lifetimes worth of greeting cards? Obviously sentimental stuff from your wife or your kids or whatever you might want to save, but what about the other ones?


Do you really worry about this? I throw mine out the same day. Who cares.
 
2014-05-07 03:14:56 PM

spman: If there's one industry I wouldn't mind seeing go straight down the toilet, it's the greeting card industry. Is there any more insincere, lazy way to acknowledge an occasion? Save yourself $6, get some note cards and write someone a handwritten note if you want to express greetings for someone on their Birthday / Anniversary / Holiday. Better yet, if you really care that much about someone to acknowledge them, why not get them a gift, some food, something homemade, anything besides another damn card. If my relatives offered me a choice between a $5 card on my Birthday to tell me they care, or a package of cookies, I would take the cookies every day of the week and twice on a Sunday.

What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways? How long are you supposed to save that Birthday card from your aunt? Are you supposed to hold onto them indefinitely and have a filing cabinet full of a lifetimes worth of greeting cards? Obviously sentimental stuff from your wife or your kids or whatever you might want to save, but what about the other ones?


I couldn't agree more.  I skip on the greeting card and put that toward a present or add it to what I'll spend.
I used to make cards on the Apple IIGS with Print Shop back when I was a kid.
 
2014-05-07 03:15:10 PM
spman:
What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways?

Long enough to pull any cash that may be inside.  Then it's a short trip to the kindling pile.
 
2014-05-07 03:15:17 PM

Solty Dog: take a pic of the card, inside and out, and send it to them


This is amazing.
 
2014-05-07 03:15:42 PM
I know that they are not neck massagers moms.
 
2014-05-07 03:16:36 PM
Wow, such greeting card hate, sounds like quite a few people here got a lot of empty birthdays cards as a kids.
 
2014-05-07 03:17:05 PM

spman: If there's one industry I wouldn't mind seeing go straight down the toilet, it's the greeting card industry. Is there any more insincere, lazy way to acknowledge an occasion? Save yourself $6, get some note cards and write someone a handwritten note if you want to express greetings for someone on their Birthday / Anniversary / Holiday. Better yet, if you really care that much about someone to acknowledge them, why not get them a gift, some food, something homemade, anything besides another damn card. If my relatives offered me a choice between a $5 card on my Birthday to tell me they care, or a package of cookies, I would take the cookies every day of the week and twice on a Sunday.

What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways? How long are you supposed to save that Birthday card from your aunt? Are you supposed to hold onto them indefinitely and have a filing cabinet full of a lifetimes worth of greeting cards? Obviously sentimental stuff from your wife or your kids or whatever you might want to save, but what about the other ones?


Just recycle the other ones. Everyone else does.

And I'm with ya on the notecards. I bought some blank ones (as an aside, it's a major pain in the ass to find simple, plain cards that don't have "Thank you" stamped on them- is nice paper with a gold or silver border too much to ask?), and actually write my own nice little message in them for the vast majority of occasions. Maybe a silly little doodle on the front for a birthday card. It's much more personal and, I've found, far more appreciated. For bonus points, use a fountain pen with ink in a somewhat offbeat color. When you're using nice stationary, you get some nice shading, and it looks really nice.
 
2014-05-07 03:18:20 PM
Buttknuckle:
I used to make cards on the Apple IIGS with Print Shop back when I was a kid.

I fold a piece of paper in half and make little 4 page comics for the people I really care about.
 
2014-05-07 03:18:26 PM

Fafai: Do you really worry about this?


Some people get very weird about it if you don't keep their stupid greeting cards. If you have one in your family, it does sort of become a question of whether or not you want to just throw it out and deal with the annoying person's inane biatching or find a place to keep it out of the way so you can pull it out if they're around.

I am convinced that the entire greeting card industry is propped up by about 1000 strategically placed idiots who have managed to guilt-trip the rest of us into buying the stupid things just to avoid weird confrontations.

/ nothing worse than an idiot with a strategy...
 
2014-05-07 03:20:29 PM
Mommies,

One day I will find out who is the daddy.  Until then, I will assume your love for me was so great, that a dad was not necessary, and I just materialized out hugs and kisses, in an instant.  Thanks for having such a great love for each other.

Happy mothers day, moms!
 
2014-05-07 03:23:15 PM

Fafai: spman: What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways? How long are you supposed to save that Birthday card from your aunt? Are you supposed to hold onto them indefinitely and have a filing cabinet full of a lifetimes worth of greeting cards? Obviously sentimental stuff from your wife or your kids or whatever you might want to save, but what about the other ones?

Do you really worry about this? I throw mine out the same day. Who cares.


Yeah, this.

"Oh that's nice"
pick up phone, call sender
"Thanks for the card it was really nice."
finish conversation, hang up, throw card into paper bin.
 
2014-05-07 03:27:09 PM

TheSwizz: spman:
What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways?

Long enough to pull any cash that may be inside.  Then it's a short trip to the kindling pile.

recycle bin.

Dude, Earth Day was only two weeks ago.... a little respect please.
 
2014-05-07 03:27:35 PM
Card? Hell, just buy a double-head dildo. Don't need no damn card.
 
2014-05-07 03:28:22 PM
There's little ladies at the thrift shop in my neighborhood who take old greeting cards and glue white paper over any handwritten parts and then resell them for 50 cents.  I just...  don't understand.
 
2014-05-07 03:31:53 PM
While I was still cribbed
You two continued to trib
Flowers of your love

~Junpei Ueyashima (1621-1683)
 
2014-05-07 03:33:39 PM

Buttknuckle: I used to make cards on the Apple IIGS with Print Shop

with construction paper and crayons back when I was a kid.

FTFM
 
2014-05-07 03:34:37 PM
floralshowers.combeadphoria.files.wordpress.com
I give up, I can't find the right image. Let's see if anyone can get the joke I almost made.
 
2014-05-07 03:34:40 PM

poison_amy: There's little ladies at the thrift shop in my neighborhood who take old greeting cards and glue white paper over any handwritten parts and then resell them for 50 cents.  I just...  don't understand.


Every card you buy stops them from having cat food for dinner.
 
2014-05-07 03:35:51 PM
Give them each a can of tuna with a bow on it, it's still half the price of one card.
 
2014-05-07 03:36:21 PM

Fark like a Barsoomian: [floralshowers.com image 525x394][beadphoria.files.wordpress.com image 300x206]
I give up, I can't find the right image. Let's see if anyone can get the joke I almost made.


Something about scissoring?
 
2014-05-07 03:39:28 PM
"Peanuts" characters have been licensed for greeting cards before, but I wonder if they would allow a two moms mothers' day card featuring Marcy and Peppermint Patty?
 
2014-05-07 03:43:01 PM

TheSwizz: spman:
What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways?

Long enough to pull any cash that may be inside.  Then it's a short trip to the kindling pile.


I took the recent birthday card I received from my parents, opened it, took out the cash, and threw out the card.  To the look of my horrified boyfriend.

/not sentimental about such things
//the cash was enough to buy two IPAs at the local watering hole
 
2014-05-07 03:49:00 PM
www.longhornmuseum.com

"Want to make a calf?"
"We can't."
"Why"
We're bulls. Two bulls can't make a calf. You gotta have a cow for that."
"Then how are those yuppie hipster women doing it? Two women can't make a kid."
"Hipsters throw money at the problem."
"Oh .. maybe we should get some money."
"Naw. It only works for hipster women. No other species can do it."
 
2014-05-07 03:50:31 PM

ph0rk: Fark like a Barsoomian: [floralshowers.com image 525x394][beadphoria.files.wordpress.com image 300x206]
I give up, I can't find the right image. Let's see if anyone can get the joke I almost made.

Something about scissoring?


That or strap-ons.
 
2014-05-07 03:58:19 PM

ph0rk: Fark like a Barsoomian: [floralshowers.com image 525x394][beadphoria.files.wordpress.com image 300x206]
I give up, I can't find the right image. Let's see if anyone can get the joke I almost made.

Something about scissoring?


WinRAR!
 
2014-05-07 04:02:24 PM

Fafai: spman: What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways? How long are you supposed to save that Birthday card from your aunt? Are you supposed to hold onto them indefinitely and have a filing cabinet full of a lifetimes worth of greeting cards? Obviously sentimental stuff from your wife or your kids or whatever you might want to save, but what about the other ones?

Do you really worry about this? I throw mine out the same day. Who cares.


Some cards I keep for years, but usually because there's something special about the card itself, or there's more to it than just card+signature.  I have handwritten notes students gave me decades ago.
 
2014-05-07 04:02:36 PM

spman: What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways?


I use them for homemade wallets. Any stickers I get in junk mail are the free duct tap to hold them together. Those faked credit cards in the idiot trap offers? I use those to make the debit card, Driver's license and insurance card holder/dividers in the homemade wallet. My wallet is unique enough that I can spot it in a flash, no one ever mistakes it for anything valuable and it was free.
 
2014-05-07 04:08:50 PM

cptjeff: spman: If there's one industry I wouldn't mind seeing go straight down the toilet, it's the greeting card industry. Is there any more insincere, lazy way to acknowledge an occasion? Save yourself $6, get some note cards and write someone a handwritten note if you want to express greetings for someone on their Birthday / Anniversary / Holiday. Better yet, if you really care that much about someone to acknowledge them, why not get them a gift, some food, something homemade, anything besides another damn card. If my relatives offered me a choice between a $5 card on my Birthday to tell me they care, or a package of cookies, I would take the cookies every day of the week and twice on a Sunday.

What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways? How long are you supposed to save that Birthday card from your aunt? Are you supposed to hold onto them indefinitely and have a filing cabinet full of a lifetimes worth of greeting cards? Obviously sentimental stuff from your wife or your kids or whatever you might want to save, but what about the other ones?

Just recycle the other ones. Everyone else does.

And I'm with ya on the notecards. I bought some blank ones (as an aside, it's a major pain in the ass to find simple, plain cards that don't have "Thank you" stamped on them- is nice paper with a gold or silver border too much to ask?), and actually write my own nice little message in them for the vast majority of occasions. Maybe a silly little doodle on the front for a birthday card. It's much more personal and, I've found, far more appreciated. For bonus points, use a fountain pen with ink in a somewhat offbeat color. When you're using nice stationary, you get some nice shading, and it looks really nice.


Crane's has nice blank cards at B&N.
 
2014-05-07 04:16:07 PM

Fark like a Barsoomian: [floralshowers.com image 525x394][beadphoria.files.wordpress.com image 300x206]
I give up, I can't find the right image. Let's see if anyone can get the joke I almost made.


MOMO?  The little Tibetan-Nepalese dumplings?
 
2014-05-07 04:38:43 PM
You know me the best
My likes and dislikes
I really don't care
You're a couple of dykes.

You both are my mothers
And I don't want to be rude
But when you're alone
Which one plays the dude?
 
2014-05-07 04:48:35 PM

poison_amy: cptjeff: spman: If there's one industry I wouldn't mind seeing go straight down the toilet, it's the greeting card industry. Is there any more insincere, lazy way to acknowledge an occasion? Save yourself $6, get some note cards and write someone a handwritten note if you want to express greetings for someone on their Birthday / Anniversary / Holiday. Better yet, if you really care that much about someone to acknowledge them, why not get them a gift, some food, something homemade, anything besides another damn card. If my relatives offered me a choice between a $5 card on my Birthday to tell me they care, or a package of cookies, I would take the cookies every day of the week and twice on a Sunday.

What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways? How long are you supposed to save that Birthday card from your aunt? Are you supposed to hold onto them indefinitely and have a filing cabinet full of a lifetimes worth of greeting cards? Obviously sentimental stuff from your wife or your kids or whatever you might want to save, but what about the other ones?

Just recycle the other ones. Everyone else does.

And I'm with ya on the notecards. I bought some blank ones (as an aside, it's a major pain in the ass to find simple, plain cards that don't have "Thank you" stamped on them- is nice paper with a gold or silver border too much to ask?), and actually write my own nice little message in them for the vast majority of occasions. Maybe a silly little doodle on the front for a birthday card. It's much more personal and, I've found, far more appreciated. For bonus points, use a fountain pen with ink in a somewhat offbeat color. When you're using nice stationary, you get some nice shading, and it looks really nice.

Crane's has nice blank cards at B&N.


I wound up with some Cranes, actually, though I got them at a local pen store here in DC. I'll keep Barnes and Noble in mind when I need refills though. Didn't think to look there for some reason.
 
2014-05-07 05:33:22 PM

ciberido: Fafai: spman: What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways? How long are you supposed to save that Birthday card from your aunt? Are you supposed to hold onto them indefinitely and have a filing cabinet full of a lifetimes worth of greeting cards? Obviously sentimental stuff from your wife or your kids or whatever you might want to save, but what about the other ones?

Do you really worry about this? I throw mine out the same day. Who cares.

Some cards I keep for years, but usually because there's something special about the card itself, or there's more to it than just card+signature.  I have handwritten notes students gave me decades ago.


Well that counts as the sentimental stuff spman was excluding from this. I have stuff from students too. My favorite is a photoshop of Godzilla crushing the school where I taught. Another one has a kid's drawing of two robots and it says "Stanley and Fafai cool guys there are cool." None of them are greeting cards though. I have a couple cards from my son's first birthday. He played like crazy with this Star Wars one that makes light saber noises when you open it. He destroyed the shiat out of that thing but it still worked liek forever. Actually, hold on ...... nope, it doesn't work anymore :(
 
2014-05-07 06:20:30 PM
2 moms? Hallmark failed biology.
 
2014-05-07 07:02:24 PM

gingerjet: TheSwizz: spman:
What is the etiquette for saving greeting cards anyways?

Long enough to pull any cash that may be inside.  Then it's a short trip to the kindling pile.

I took the recent birthday card I received from my parents, opened it, took out the cash, and threw out the card.  To the look of my horrified boyfriend.

/not sentimental about such things
//the cash was enough to buy two IPAs at the local watering hole


You still have the same boyfriend?
 
2014-05-07 08:17:24 PM

funzyr: ph0rk: I give up, I can't find the right image. Let's see if anyone can get the joke I almost made.

Something about scissoring?

That or strap-ons.


Those look more glued-on. Can you do a glued-on? Does that work? How much pressure before the dike falls apart? Will it fall apart before the dike springs a leak?
 
2014-05-07 08:44:15 PM
I think that's a great idea. So nice!

Surprised there is so much greeting card hate. I love greeting cards. Sending them, getting them. Lots of greeting cards suck and are generic, but there are some nice ones. Even Halloween ones. Home made things are nice, but I'm not crafty .. I could set water on fire. Things I try to make end up looking like a one armed 5 year old did it.
 
2014-05-07 09:08:28 PM
There's only a select few to whom the industry of greeting cards presents a complex cultural problem and adds seemingly unavoidable stressful lifestyle annoyances and protocol challenges.
 
2014-05-07 09:46:56 PM
It's been a running gag for some time now that I get my wife the absolute cheapest card for any occasion and I tuck the money I saved into the card.  For Valentine's this year, she got a grade school "let's be friends" card that cost 49 cents and I enclosed 4 bucks.  I always write a personal note because having the card do the talking is stupid.  I'd just write it on an index card but buying the card shows I made some effort.
 
2014-05-08 06:27:09 AM

JonZoidberg: It's been a running gag for some time now that I get my wife the absolute cheapest card for any occasion and I tuck the money I saved into the card.  For Valentine's this year, she got a grade school "let's be friends" card that cost 49 cents and I enclosed 4 bucks.  I always write a personal note because having the card do the talking is stupid.  I'd just write it on an index card but buying the card shows I made some effort.


You should go to the thrift shop poison_amy was talking about. I bet you could talk them down to a quarter.
 
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