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(Five Thirty-Eight)   The Amazing Spider-Man 2 would have been a boring movie if Oscorp Industries had complied with even the most basic workplace health and safety standards   (fivethirtyeight.com) divider line 94
    More: Amusing, The Amazing Spider-Man, Spider-Man, health and safety laws, Iron Man, Product Safety, occupational injury, first-class mail, spiders  
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2414 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 06 May 2014 at 5:33 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-06 04:26:01 PM
Would the movie have been any more boring than it already is?
 
2014-05-06 04:27:39 PM
 
2014-05-06 05:20:31 PM
Heh, went to post the No OSHA Compliance from TV Tropes, and TV Tropes already has this article in the top part of the Films category.
 
2014-05-06 05:36:48 PM
It could have been a courtroom drama involving a lawsuit regarding the power station design?

if electro had signed a form stating that anything he developed was oscorp property he was sol
 
2014-05-06 05:42:17 PM
Why does OSHA hate superheroes so much??
 
2014-05-06 05:56:42 PM

DubtodaIll: Why does OSHA hate superheroes so much??


probably because the odds are stacked heavily against an accident turning someone into a superHERO versus a superIVILLIAN
 
2014-05-06 05:59:07 PM
TFA: Edward Nigma becomes the Riddler in "Batman Forever" (1995) after continued exposure to a brainwave device.

The fark? Isn't Riddler just some guy? Did they really go out of their way to give him the superpower of being Jim Carrey?
 
2014-05-06 06:04:22 PM

mark.jms: TFA: Edward Nigma becomes the Riddler in "Batman Forever" (1995) after continued exposure to a brainwave device.

The fark? Isn't Riddler just some guy? Did they really go out of their way to give him the superpower of being Jim Carrey?


He didn't have super powers, he was just made insane by his invention

Basically they blended the Riddler w/ the Mad Hatter
 
2014-05-06 06:19:03 PM

Dimensio: Additionally, failure to adhere to basic safety guidelines is a common problem both in fiction and in Republican-governed cities.


Yeah, because those large Democrat-controlled strongholds are corruption- and violation-free utopias.

/you pathetic farking hack
 
2014-05-06 06:27:51 PM
This sequence of events - and essentially the entire plot of "The Amazing Spider-Man 2″ - could have been avoided if Max's employer, Oscorp Industries, complied with even the most basic workplace health and safety standards.

And Star Wars IV, V, VI, and the upcoming VII, VIII, IX, could all have been eliminated if they shot down the "unmanned" escape pod.  Movies are fiction, deal with it.
 
2014-05-06 06:29:30 PM

Carousel Beast: Dimensio: Additionally, failure to adhere to basic safety guidelines is a common problem both in fiction and in Republican-governed cities.

Yeah, because those large Democrat-controlled strongholds are corruption- and violation-free utopias.

/you pathetic farking hack


Someone feeling touchy?
 
2014-05-06 06:34:30 PM

Alphax: Carousel Beast: Dimensio: Additionally, failure to adhere to basic safety guidelines is a common problem both in fiction and in Republican-governed cities.

Yeah, because those large Democrat-controlled strongholds are corruption- and violation-free utopias.

/you pathetic farking hack

Someone feeling touchy?


When you get political hackery into an entertainment threat that is how you should be treated.

Killed what could have been a fun thread.
 
2014-05-06 06:39:41 PM
You know it's a shiatty day when the right/left bullshiat sneaks into a comic book/movie thread.

I thought the article was amusing, but now I'm gonna watch everything and look for OSHA violations.
 
2014-05-06 06:40:44 PM
So, honesty = 'political hackery'?
 
2014-05-06 06:45:20 PM
I like the Spider-Man 2 with doc ock, but it's like why are you doing fusion experiments in New York City?
 
2014-05-06 06:56:45 PM

farkeruk: I like the Spider-Man 2 with doc ock, but it's like why are you doing fusion experiments in New York City?


In what appears to be a residential apartment, no less.

/you'd think if Harry's gonna spring for the priceless tritium that he could rent a warehouse out in the countryside
//but then we wouldn't have a story if things made sense, like so many comic movies
 
2014-05-06 07:03:06 PM
Wait...I thought OSHA were the super villians.
 
2014-05-06 07:08:08 PM
Why in the fark does a high school intern have free reign of the OsCorp building?

Security Guard:  Wait!  You can't be in there!  That room is full of dangerous technology!
Gwen Stacy:  It's ok, I got an A in Chemistry.
Security Guard:  Oh, ok.  Carry on then.
 
2014-05-06 07:13:11 PM

mark.jms: TFA: Edward Nigma becomes the Riddler in "Batman Forever" (1995) after continued exposure to a brainwave device.

The fark? Isn't Riddler just some guy? Did they really go out of their way to give him the superpower of being Jim Carrey?


img1.wikia.nocookie.net

He put a blender on his head and it blended his brains.
 
2014-05-06 07:18:03 PM
family-guy-blue-harvest.trailertheater.com
what next, rails for minions?
 
2014-05-06 07:27:55 PM

"The Amazing Spider-Man 2 would have been a an even more boring movie if Oscorp Industries had complied with even the most basic workplace health and safety standards"


I think ASM2 was bad and boring. and they made the Rhino into a mech. It was just a shiatty script and Sony didn't care. I don't think I'll even bother seeing the third movie.

 
2014-05-06 07:28:50 PM

farkeruk: I like the Spider-Man 2 with doc ock, but it's like why are you doing fusion experiments in New York City?


Hey, the building said no pets, it didn't say shiat about controlled fusion reactors.
 
2014-05-06 07:41:21 PM

skinink: "The Amazing Spider-Man 2 would have been a an even more boring movie if Oscorp Industries had complied with even the most basic workplace health and safety standards"
I think ASM2 was bad and boring. and they made the Rhino into a mech. It was just a shiatty script and Sony didn't care. I don't think I'll even bother seeing the third movie.


It had some pacing issues in the second act, however I wouldn't call it bad by any stretch. Also, the Rhino was in the movie for a whole five minutes as a setup for the sequel, not exactly something to get your panties in a twist about.
 
2014-05-06 08:10:27 PM
Needs more Emma
 
2014-05-06 08:24:33 PM
Is this series any good compared Spiderman trilogy? I really enjoyed those and afraid to watch either of these two because I'm old and hate change
 
2014-05-06 08:38:53 PM

styckx: Is this series any good compared Spiderman trilogy? I really enjoyed those and afraid to watch either of these two because I'm old and hate change


What Spider-Man trilogy? I was only aware that they made two, one with Green Goblin and the other with Doc Ock.
 
2014-05-06 08:49:58 PM

Richard_The_Clown: styckx: Is this series any good compared Spiderman trilogy? I really enjoyed those and afraid to watch either of these two because I'm old and hate change

What Spider-Man trilogy? I was only aware that they made two, one with Green Goblin and the other with Doc Ock.


Spiderman 3 had Venom
 
2014-05-06 09:01:26 PM

styckx: Richard_The_Clown: styckx: Is this series any good compared Spiderman trilogy? I really enjoyed those and afraid to watch either of these two because I'm old and hate change

What Spider-Man trilogy? I was only aware that they made two, one with Green Goblin and the other with Doc Ock.

Spiderman 3 had Venom


Nope, I'm afraid I too am unfamiliar with this purported sequel. I find it unlikely it actually exists.
 
2014-05-06 09:07:16 PM

Alphax: So, honesty = 'political hackery'?


No, bringing politics at all into the thread is political hackery you stupid farking fark.

/should I be less subtle?
 
2014-05-06 09:08:17 PM

styckx: Spiderman 3 had Venom


Spider-Man 3 had Eric Foreman
 
2014-05-06 09:34:10 PM

MayoSlather: skinink: "The Amazing Spider-Man 2 would have been a an even more boring movie if Oscorp Industries had complied with even the most basic workplace health and safety standards"
I think ASM2 was bad and boring. and they made the Rhino into a mech. It was just a shiatty script and Sony didn't care. I don't think I'll even bother seeing the third movie.

It had some pacing issues in the second act, however I wouldn't call it bad by any stretch. Also, the Rhino was in the movie for a whole five minutes as a setup for the sequel, not exactly something to get your panties in a twist about.


Remember when you didn't need a farking primer on the proposed sequels in order to understand why a character is in a movie? When movies had characters in the movie who served the plot of the movie?

I'm not calling out AS2 specifically cause I haven't seen it. I'm just sick of movies cramming extraneous shiat in to link their never ending string of sequels together. It feels like the movie plot is secondary to connecting to the last movie, winks and nods to those in the know, and setup for the next movie.
 
2014-05-06 09:45:50 PM

MayoSlather: styckx: Richard_The_Clown: styckx: Is this series any good compared Spiderman trilogy? I really enjoyed those and afraid to watch either of these two because I'm old and hate change

What Spider-Man trilogy? I was only aware that they made two, one with Green Goblin and the other with Doc Ock.

Spiderman 3 had Venom

Nope, I'm afraid I too am unfamiliar with this purported sequel. I find it unlikely it actually exists.


Exactly!

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-06 09:49:04 PM

MayoSlather: styckx: Richard_The_Clown: styckx: Is this series any good compared Spiderman trilogy? I really enjoyed those and afraid to watch either of these two because I'm old and hate change

What Spider-Man trilogy? I was only aware that they made two, one with Green Goblin and the other with Doc Ock.

Spiderman 3 had Venom

Nope, I'm afraid I too am unfamiliar with this purported sequel. I find it unlikely it actually exists.


Turns out Peter wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider at all.
He was an alien from Planet Zeist.
 
2014-05-06 09:52:00 PM

styckx: Is this series any good compared Spiderman trilogy? I really enjoyed those and afraid to watch either of these two because I'm old and hate change


I haven't seen ASM2, but I liked ASM1 to Tony McGuire Spiderman 1.
 
2014-05-06 09:55:32 PM
There's an idea in Hollywood that egregious workplace accidents and blatantly unsafe laboratory procedures bring about unfathomable powers, instead of chronic pain, debilitating injuries and even death.

No, that idea is in COMIC BOOKS. Hollywood just repeats the origin stories as they appear in the source material.
 
2014-05-06 10:22:05 PM

MayoSlather: skinink: "The Amazing Spider-Man 2 would have been a an even more boring movie if Oscorp Industries had complied with even the most basic workplace health and safety standards"
I think ASM2 was bad and boring. and they made the Rhino into a mech. It was just a shiatty script and Sony didn't care. I don't think I'll even bother seeing the third movie.

It had some pacing issues in the second act, however I wouldn't call it bad by any stretch. Also, the Rhino was in the movie for a whole five minutes as a setup for the sequel, not exactly something to get your panties in a twist about.


I found the villains cartoonish and their motivations weak.  As I said in another thread, the Marvel Cinematic Universe has spoiled me with the mature way they deal with their characters.  When you can make Batroc the Leaper look like a cool villain, you damn well better be able to do the same with Electro.
 
2014-05-06 10:50:46 PM
Could have been better, but the chemistry between Peter and Gwen was spot on.
 
2014-05-06 11:25:58 PM

Dimensio: Would the movie have been any more boring than it already is?


You really should go see it, instead of assuming that it was. In fact it was arguably the best Spider-Man movie to date, with Spider-Man 2 being slightly better.
 
2014-05-07 12:06:05 AM

Brick-House: Could have been better, but the chemistry between Peter and Gwen was spot on.


Because it was real...
 
2014-05-07 12:14:46 AM

Mentalpatient87: Alphax: So, honesty = 'political hackery'?

No, bringing politics at all into the thread is political hackery you stupid farking fark.

/should I be less subtle?


If Republicans weren't famous for opposing safety regulations, you might have a point.
 
2014-05-07 12:58:32 AM

Lackofname: There's an idea in Hollywood that egregious workplace accidents and blatantly unsafe laboratory procedures bring about unfathomable powers, instead of chronic pain, debilitating injuries and even death.

No, that idea is in COMIC BOOKS. Hollywood just repeats the origin stories as they appear in the source material.


Sony completely rewrote almost every aspect of every character in the Webb/Garfield Spider-Man movies. They're Spider-Man movies in name and costume only.

And since Peter Parker is my favorite fictional character, I'm just a little pissed at Sony for taking a huge dump on the character and the stories. They wrote their own superheroes and villains, with original (horrible!) stories, and just slapped the Spider-Man intellectual property over the top of it.

Every asshole who paid to see this in theaters is part of the problem, too. You jerkspuds have made it possible for Sony to hang on to the Spider-Man film rights for another 20 years at least, and have encouraged Sony to make a serious of soon-to-be-hated-and-awful spin-off movies starring all the crap versions of Spidey villains from ASM.

I don't give a shiat if Fox keeps the X-Men (though I'm miffed that they own Doctor Doom, and have continually made him into a complete joke) but Spider-Man would have been SO much better if Marvel Studios were making his movies... Instead we get this shiat and all these movie-going motherfarkers keep paying to see it and make it a successful cash-in for Sony.

At this point, Sony could probably film a piece of dog shiat hanging from a string and call it "Spider-Man" and stupid farking assholes would STILL pay to see it.
 
2014-05-07 01:03:07 AM
SERIES

/autocorrect is a bastard, too.
 
2014-05-07 01:45:43 AM
IIRC from Spider-Man 3 the Sandman and his friend robbed the fight promoter in S-M 1 to pay for his daughter's operation.  Thank goodness people have to resort to crime to pay for medical procedures and treatments in the USA, because if we had socialsed medicine we would have no Spider-Man.
 
2014-05-07 01:57:45 AM
Ugh, just one more thing wrong with that shiatty movie. Sony needs to just give up the franchise and let Feige do something with it.
 
2014-05-07 02:43:14 AM
FTA "And with the exception of Beast, none of the other X-Men characters, as far as I can tell, have powers that resulted from a lab accident."

OK, I'm prepared to stand corrected on this one. But since when is blue hair a power. My understanding was that Beast's mutant abilities were there already, hence why he tried to cure himself. The blue hair was a side effect of the cure that didn't work.
 
2014-05-07 02:44:08 AM

Devil's Advocaat: FTA "And with the exception of Beast, none of the other X-Men characters, as far as I can tell, have powers that resulted from a lab accident."

OK, I'm prepared to stand corrected on this one. But since when is blue hair a power. My understanding was that Beast's mutant abilities were there already, hence why he tried to cure himself. The blue hair was a side effect of the cure that didn't work.


Correct.
 
2014-05-07 03:00:02 AM

Nix Nightbird: Lackofname: There's an idea in Hollywood that egregious workplace accidents and blatantly unsafe laboratory procedures bring about unfathomable powers, instead of chronic pain, debilitating injuries and even death.

No, that idea is in COMIC BOOKS. Hollywood just repeats the origin stories as they appear in the source material.

Sony completely rewrote almost every aspect of every character in the Webb/Garfield Spider-Man movies. They're Spider-Man movies in name and costume only.

And since Peter Parker is my favorite fictional character, I'm just a little pissed at Sony for taking a huge dump on the character and the stories. They wrote their own superheroes and villains, with original (horrible!) stories, and just slapped the Spider-Man intellectual property over the top of it.

Every asshole who paid to see this in theaters is part of the problem, too. You jerkspuds have made it possible for Sony to hang on to the Spider-Man film rights for another 20 years at least, and have encouraged Sony to make a serious of soon-to-be-hated-and-awful spin-off movies starring all the crap versions of Spidey villains from ASM.

I don't give a shiat if Fox keeps the X-Men (though I'm miffed that they own Doctor Doom, and have continually made him into a complete joke) but Spider-Man would have been SO much better if Marvel Studios were making his movies... Instead we get this shiat and all these movie-going motherfarkers keep paying to see it and make it a successful cash-in for Sony.

At this point, Sony could probably film a piece of dog shiat hanging from a string and call it "Spider-Man" and stupid farking assholes would STILL pay to see it.


Just because it annoys you, I may go see it again.

/Even though I feel asleep the first time.
 
2014-05-07 07:12:35 AM

styckx: Is this series any good compared Spiderman trilogy?


No.

Yes, both ASM movies fail to measure up to even Spider-Man 3.

You have now been warned.

Devil's Advocaat: OK, I'm prepared to stand corrected on this one. But since when is blue hair a power. My understanding was that Beast's mutant abilities were there already, hence why he tried to cure himself. The blue hair was a side effect of the cure that didn't work.


In the movie continuity the "cure" essentially amped up his mutation in its entirety.  Pre-mad-science, he could basically maybe hang from a bar upside down if he tried really hard.  Post-mad-science he had something on the order of super-strength, fangs, and feet that functioned fully as hands.

The blue fur is also somewhat functional, iirc, it provides him with protection and insulation (which is why in the comics he basically wears shorts and nothing else when he's not actually out punching evil in the face).

So, yeah, the shot gave him additional powers.  Not exactly cosmic-level plot-breaking powers, but they can't all be Scarlet Witch or Professor X.
 
2014-05-07 08:30:41 AM

Jim_Callahan: styckx: Is this series any good compared Spiderman trilogy?

No.

Yes, both ASM movies fail to measure up to even Spider-Man 3.

You have now been warned.



Go back and watch the first two Toby Maguire films again, they don't exactly hold up well. Over the years our expectations for superhero films have been raised dramatically, you seem to have fallen into this trap of raised expectations coupled with a historical fallacy believing the past was better than it was.
 
2014-05-07 08:48:46 AM
I actually watched Spider-Man 2 last night and the story was very well structured and flowed according to its own rules. The fights are great and surprisingly the CGI almost holds up for something that was released 10 yrs ago. I can rewatch it over and over again. Also the deleted scene with Jameson in the spidey suit is pure gold and should've been left in the original cut.
 
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