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(Smithsonian Magazine)   "Farting represents not just a foul scent, but an impinging of one human upon another, an invasion of the senses and a breach of personal space"   (smithsonianmag.com) divider line 120
    More: Asinine, personal distance  
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2082 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 May 2014 at 11:42 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-06 10:48:18 AM
Baloney! Sometimes, it is just a fart.
OOhhh, garlic baloney,,,

My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit.
 
2014-05-06 10:55:26 AM
*toot*
 
2014-05-06 11:06:04 AM
I have a confession. I don't know what happened, but about 5 years ago I lost the ability to produce smelly farts. It just went away. Whether they're wall-shaking or completely silent, there is no odor. As a guy, it's kind of emasculating.
 
2014-05-06 11:20:18 AM

scottydoesntknow: I have a confession. I don't know what happened, but about 5 years ago I lost the ability to produce smelly farts. It just went away. Whether they're wall-shaking or completely silent, there is no odor. As a guy, it's kind of emasculating.


Yeah, that's what my grandfather and father thought, too. You're just losing your sense of smell after years of your own B.O. and living like a bachelor.
 
2014-05-06 11:34:17 AM
Lord knows I'm more invasive than the NSA & pro-Russian "protesters" combined!
 
2014-05-06 11:39:28 AM
Why fart and waste it when you can belch and taste it?
 
2014-05-06 11:50:16 AM
www.handmadescotcheggs.co.uk
 
2014-05-06 11:51:17 AM

scottydoesntknow: I have a confession. I don't know what happened, but about 5 years ago I lost the ability to produce smelly farts. It just went away. Whether they're wall-shaking or completely silent, there is no odor. As a guy, it's kind of emasculating.


So you have a fart gland like Stimpy's hairball gland?
 
2014-05-06 11:59:38 AM
Even if it's just in your general direction?
 
905
2014-05-06 12:00:52 PM
"Has there ever been a human culture that, rather than holding their noses and wheezing, loved, appreciated and worshiped the fart?"

I'd say my four teen-aged nephews would fit that bill.
 
2014-05-06 12:01:07 PM
Why are farts so funny?
 
2014-05-06 12:02:00 PM
i seriously wonder about farts and genetic predispositions. My father, brother and I fart epically throughout the day and generally have 2-3 poops a day. I feel like i am literally filled with more poop then other humans? why do I have stinky farts all the time and why do I poop more then mere mortals?
 
2014-05-06 12:03:23 PM

kungfu jesus with a side of lime: I feel like i am literally filled with more poop then other humans? why do I have stinky farts all the time and why do I poop more then mere mortals?


Gut flora and diet.
 
2014-05-06 12:03:47 PM
even when you can't smell one, you're still breathing shiat.
 
2014-05-06 12:04:41 PM

djkutch: Why are farts so funny?


It must be genetic. When my oldest was about 4 months old he cut a good one and cackled at it for 2 solid minutes.
 
2014-05-06 12:05:58 PM
How else would guys bond?
 
2014-05-06 12:10:32 PM
"Farting represents not just a foul scent, but an impinging of one human upon another, an invasion of the senses and a breach of personal space."

So does smoking.

Yet one is considered socially acceptable in public spaces, and the other is not.
 
2014-05-06 12:12:46 PM

djkutch: Why are farts so funny?


Because they usually arrive without warning. They're like the Spanish Inquisition of bodily functions.
 
2014-05-06 12:13:26 PM
unclestinky.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-06 12:15:26 PM
Everyone loves their own brand ...
 
2014-05-06 12:15:36 PM
 
2014-05-06 12:15:40 PM

djkutch: Why are farts so funny?


because it makes basically the same sound as a balloon losing air, therefore we all have balloons in our asses.

/true fact
 
2014-05-06 12:17:59 PM
I've always wondered how office etiquette would be different if toots were visible... like green clouds or cartoon "stink lines."

I bet you'd see a lot of impromptu dancing by people trying to avoid them.
 
2014-05-06 12:18:44 PM
Anthropologist Kirsten Bell should learn what penultimate means before misusing it in her academic papers.

/Not usually so pedantic, but it's one of the best words in the language and its being destroyed by idiots.
 
2014-05-06 12:19:03 PM
I fart in the general direction of the article.
 
2014-05-06 12:21:57 PM
Crop dusting the WalMart aisles is meant as an impingement of others.......
 
2014-05-06 12:21:57 PM
FTFA: Farts may very well be the penultimate bodily emission.

Attention article "writer:" Words mean things.
 
2014-05-06 12:22:28 PM
Craig Ferguson:  Farts are classical.
 
2014-05-06 12:26:31 PM

Barricaded Gunman: FTFA: Farts may very well be the penultimate bodily emission.

Attention article "writer:" Words mean things.


Well, it'd work better as "the penultimate *stinky* bodily emission."
 
2014-05-06 12:28:44 PM
I just crop-dusted a whole cube farm, so I'm getting a kick...
 
2014-05-06 12:29:11 PM
"Farting represents not just a foul scent, but a deliberate impinging of one human upon another, an invasion of the senses and a breach of personal space"

That's the point, subby, that's the point (so i fix it for you, m-kay?)

snocone: My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit.


Dr. Kellogg I presume?
 
2014-05-06 12:31:14 PM

HawgWild: Everyone loves their own brand ...


I had one last week after eating a bowl of spicy Mongolian noodles that came from me, but wasn't my usual flavor.

Rather, it would seem that a demon had crawled inside my colon and died, and the aroma of a decomposing denizen of Hell was eminating from me.

To make matters worse, I was at my desk at the time, people around me were trying to eat, and earlier in the day, I had passed a non-odiferous flatus, so I felt there was no danger. Although silent, it managed to burn, and I knew I had made a grevious miscalculation.
 
2014-05-06 12:32:51 PM

Starshines: Anthropologist Kirsten Bell should learn what penultimate means before misusing it in her academic papers.



agreed.  I literally shiat a brick when i read her misuse of 'penultimate'
 
2014-05-06 12:41:09 PM
"Farting represents not just a foul scent, but a deliberate impinging of one human upon another, an invasion of the senses and a breach of personal space"


never fun but, i walked through someone's burp cloud recently.  that was way worse.  sour ass farking stomach gases and what smelled like burnt mustard.  dis mother farking gusting.
 
2014-05-06 12:42:00 PM
www.ghostwriteyourbook.com

Step right in, Farkers.
 
2014-05-06 12:42:42 PM
I remember when I was a lowly intern, I was sitting at some lady's desk working because she was off that day. I didn't have an assigned desk, you see.

Anywho, I had a killer hangover and just wasn't feeling well. Suddenly, I started to feel the pangs of a tooter. I was the only one in the room, so I let fly. And, man, it was good.

Just then, the lady whose desk I was working at WALKED IN THE DOOR. She told me she FORGOT HER WORKOUT SNEAKERS and they were UNDER HER DESK. I tried to get them for her like a gentleman, but she just dove right under there.

Wasn't the only time she smelled my butt ...

/CSB
 
2014-05-06 12:50:22 PM

HawgWild: t then, the lady whose desk I was working at WALKED IN THE DOOR. She told me she FORGOT HER WORKOUT SNEAKERS and they were UNDER HER DESK. I tried to get them for her like a gentleman, but she just dove right under there.


my "that" story is from my navy days....we had a little tiny guard shack and i was on watch with this hottish gal who was married, but flirted all the time.  anyways, whatever i'd eaten, it was just terrible, just dreadful on the back end.  so i'd excuse myself on rover patrol, "i'm gonna go check the perimeter", and so on, and expel.  didn't want to offend her.

so at one point, she's like, "i'm gonna go to main building, be bback in 20."  she leaves, i start laying waste, just destroying the guard shack.

she bounds back in minute or so later and as i see her through the glass, i'm waving her off, "no!  no!  stay away!" and she looks at me like, "wtf?"  she walks in.  no words were exchanged.  just a look of shame on my face and "what is wrong with you?"  on hers.
 
2014-05-06 12:52:57 PM
CSB
(yeah, we all have one)

Stepped into a coworkers cube, dropped a bomb, walked back.  He bolted up a few seconds later disgusted, impressed and suggested I get the guys working the phones (call center dispatchers).

They were in a closed off corner of the room.  I went over, did my deed and got all the way back to my desk.  Five seconds later the clean-freak of the trio shot up crying and demanded to know which one of his teammates and fouled the air.  They were ready to hang the junior member of the group until they heard me and my initial victim busting our sides 30 feet away.
 
2014-05-06 01:00:12 PM
905:

"Has there ever been a human culture that, rather than holding their noses and wheezing, loved, appreciated and worshiped the fart?"

I'd say my four teen-aged nephews would fit that bill.


Long car trip in winter with my quondam G/F, her 9 Y/O son and 12 Y/O daughter are sitting in the back seat.

The son pipes up "I have CRIMINAL GAS!"

"Oh? How is that, D?"

"Because it's really, really BAD!"

And then it hits. The adults start winding down the windows while the daughter is screaming BLAUGHHH!!!!!! and the son is just as happy as a boy can be.


Same kid, his mom once described how he could belch, fart and sneeze at the same time to a group of 40+ year old software engineers, and they all were astonished... "We're not worthy!"
 
2014-05-06 01:04:01 PM

joeshill: "Farting represents not just a foul scent, but an impinging of one human upon another, an invasion of the senses and a breach of personal space."

So does smoking.

Yet one is considered socially acceptable in public spaces, and the other is not.


I would rather have someone simultaneously fart and blow cigarette smoke in my face than have to listen to another whiny biatch complaining about smokers.
 
2014-05-06 01:04:55 PM
My friend and I were playing cards and my dog let out this mustard gas like fart.  Immediately on getting a slight whiff of it I said "come on, time to go outside."  My friend and I went out with the dog and the dog immediately went and took a crap.  Thankfully it was far away so we didn't smell but I could swear the dog might have taken two craps.  It was night so it was hard to see but it is possible.

Anyway, dog farts are the worst.
 
2014-05-06 01:07:01 PM
Odd Bird:

CSB
(yeah, we all have one)

Stepped into a coworkers cube, dropped a bomb, walked back. He bolted up a few seconds later disgusted, impressed and suggested I get the guys working the phones (call center dispatchers).

They were in a closed off corner of the room. I went over, did my deed and got all the way back to my desk. Five seconds later the clean-freak of the trio shot up crying and demanded to know which one of his teammates and fouled the air. They were ready to hang the junior member of the group until they heard me and my initial victim busting our sides 30 feet away.


Every office has "That Guy" who will wander into your cubicle and when you ask: "What can I do for you" just smiles slowly and leaves...

I think we've found "That Guy" in your office.
 
2014-05-06 01:09:05 PM

Gonz: HawgWild: Everyone loves their own brand ...

I had one last week after eating a bowl of spicy Mongolian noodles that came from me, but wasn't my usual flavor.

Rather, it would seem that a demon had crawled inside my colon and died, and the aroma of a decomposing denizen of Hell was eminating from me.

To make matters worse, I was at my desk at the time, people around me were trying to eat, and earlier in the day, I had passed a non-odiferous flatus, so I felt there was no danger. Although silent, it managed to burn, and I knew I had made a grevious miscalculation.


Laughter OL
 
2014-05-06 01:13:25 PM
I wonder what kind of crop-dusting the mail-room staff must endure in those old office buildings with pneumatic tubes.
Imagine having your fart sucked down twenty floors with mechanical assistance? Heaven, man!
 
2014-05-06 01:15:35 PM

Gergesa: Anyway, dog farts are the worst.


yup.  mine had some kind of stomach problem that we had to go to the vet for.  at one point it got so bad it would literally wake me up at night.  i'd be dead motherfarking out, and then what he was releasing was so bad, part of my brain, some vestige from caveman days i guess, would be like, "DANGER WILL ROBINSON!" and i'd spring up.  "Jesus christ, what is wrong with you?  time to sleep outside, big boy!"
 
2014-05-06 01:22:58 PM
they note that in Morocco, "it is traditionally held that breaking wind inside a mosque will blind, or even kill, the angels therein."

"Blinding the angels" is now my favorite euphemism for farting.

They go onto observe that farting is so closely associated with harmful spirits that a spot where one occurred may be marked by a small pile of stones, as if to trap the evil spirit inside.

Well, you're welcome to try that, but even if your stones are some kind of multi-ton chunks of activated carbon, they're not going to save you from the fruits of my mighty fartulence. Earlier today I dropped an asparagus-garlic powered fart in the elevator right before I got off that was so bad, I think I heard screams of terror from the floor below when the elevator made its next stop down there and released my demon spawn.
 
2014-05-06 01:24:02 PM

StrikitRich: [www.ghostwriteyourbook.com image 330x494]

Step right in, Farkers.

s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-05-06 01:24:53 PM
Farting represents not just a foul scent, but an impinging of one human upon another, an invasion of the senses and a breach of personal space.


Just a few minutes ago it was in my ass, now it's inside your head. It's like aerosolized ass pennies.
 
2014-05-06 01:28:14 PM

scottydoesntknow: I have a confession. I don't know what happened, but about 5 years ago I lost the ability to produce smelly farts. It just went away. Whether they're wall-shaking or completely silent, there is no odor. As a guy, it's kind of emasculating.


Um...you just lost your sense of smell.
 
2014-05-06 01:28:37 PM
rickythepenguin:

Gergesa: Anyway, dog farts are the worst.

yup. mine had some kind of stomach problem that we had to go to the vet for. at one point it got so bad it would literally wake me up at night. i'd be dead motherfarking out, and then what he was releasing was so bad, part of my brain, some vestige from caveman days i guess, would be like, "DANGER WILL ROBINSON!" and i'd spring up. "Jesus christ, what is wrong with you? time to sleep outside, big boy!"


Dogs may have the quantity, but cats definitely have the quality.

CS,B: Was dating a girl and the cat jumped up on the bed and paraded around looking for the most comfy spot (which we had already occupied) and then walked on top of the girl. "Oh what a pretty cat!"

That's when the cat turned tail and let a tuna toot right up her nose. Never saw a woman jump up so fast.
 
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