Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Toronto Sun)   So it turns out that Rob Ford didn't actually go to rehab and nobody knows where he is hiding. If everyone could please check your local bus stations and under your highway overpasses the city of Toronto would be very grateful   (torontosun.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

5665 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2014 at 11:34 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



139 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-05-06 10:19:03 AM  
Perhaps he's hiking the Appalachian Trail?
 
2014-05-06 10:27:26 AM  
"U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.
 
2014-05-06 10:44:58 AM  
Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.
 
2014-05-06 10:48:50 AM  

oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.


I believe they call that a "Nombre Cinq" up on the Rue de St. Catherine.
 
2014-05-06 11:17:46 AM  

oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.


That's my estimation.  On a bender, somewhere in Canada.
 
2014-05-06 11:22:36 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

I believe they call that a "Nombre Cinq" up on the Rue de St. Catherine.


Damn you. I'm sitting in a history class right now trying to stifle my laughter.
 
2014-05-06 11:28:50 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

I believe they call that a "Nombre Cinq" up on the Rue de St. Catherine.

Damn you. I'm sitting in a history class right now trying to stifle my laughter.


Then why are you on Fark? Shouldn't you be paying attention to class?

/loved history classes
 
2014-05-06 11:36:13 AM  
Perhaps he is a motivational speaker, living in a van down by the river.
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-06 11:37:34 AM  
How in the hell can something THAT big hide?

/I mean, it's not like he's a plane.
 
2014-05-06 11:37:56 AM  
Hey, we got stuck with Ted Cruz and Bieber - as entertaining as he is, you can keep Rob Ford.
 
2014-05-06 11:38:24 AM  
Check with Lindsey Lohan
 
2014-05-06 11:38:27 AM  

Snarfangel: Perhaps he is a motivational speaker, living in a van down by the river.
[31.media.tumblr.com image 364x273]


Damn you!  You beat me to it, word for word.

I think that it's one of life's cruel jokes that Chris Farley isn't alive to play Rob Ford's character.
 
2014-05-06 11:38:46 AM  
Wherever he is, I'm willing to bet there's a dead hooker not far away.
 
2014-05-06 11:39:38 AM  

CJHardin: Snarfangel: Perhaps he is a motivational speaker, living in a van down by the river.
[31.media.tumblr.com image 364x273]

Damn you!  You beat me to it, word for word.

I think that it's one of life's cruel jokes that Chris Farley isn't alive to play Rob Ford's character.



That would have been absolutely hilarious. :D
 
2014-05-06 11:41:42 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: "U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.


Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?
 
2014-05-06 11:41:47 AM  
YOU elected him, Toronto. YOU find him.
 
2014-05-06 11:41:52 AM  

oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.


Impression? If that fat sack isn't on a bender, he's already dead.

I bet he got stuck on the "I'll just have one more before rehab" Failtrain.
 
2014-05-06 11:41:54 AM  

namegoeshere: Wherever he is, I'm willing to bet there's a dead hooker not far away.


i.huffpost.com
"Oh f*ck, what did I do??!?! How f*cking high was I?"
 
2014-05-06 11:42:31 AM  

oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.


But Dougie says he's "in a program" and "losing weight". And Dougie would never lie to the press, ever. My guess is that he's at the family cottage on a bender, waiting for the whole scandal to blow over.

If you find Mayor McCrackhead, keep him. Now that he's gone we may be able to have an adult conversation about how to move Toronto forward.
 
2014-05-06 11:42:33 AM  
bestofmeanwhilein.com
 
2014-05-06 11:43:21 AM  
Check Toronto's city morgue for bloated John Doe corpses testing positive for a cocktail of illegal drugs.
 
2014-05-06 11:44:10 AM  
So he's with Amy Winehouse?
 
2014-05-06 11:44:56 AM  
Offer to loan him money. He will come out.
 
2014-05-06 11:45:45 AM  

jmayson: Benevolent Misanthrope: "U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?


He flew out of a small airport on a private plane and landed at Midway in Chicago, he would need to clear customs there.
 
2014-05-06 11:45:59 AM  
Perhaps Mayor Bombaclott took a Caribbean Airlines flight to Jamaica to be with his people.
Hey Ford: if you are in Kingston, check out 'Tracks & Records', Usian Bolt's restaurant.   Good food.  Try not to get shot wandering around the downtown though.
 
2014-05-06 11:47:04 AM  
Did anyone look in Sunnyvale?
 
2014-05-06 11:52:41 AM  
Sooner or later (probably sooner) he's going to wind up dead due to his additions or questionable company. If that happens, I wonder if his brother will run for mayor and get swept in by the Ford Nation and some amount of sympathy voting.
 
2014-05-06 11:53:25 AM  

ObscureNameHere: Perhaps Mayor Bombaclott took a Caribbean Airlines flight to Jamaica to be with his people.
Hey Ford: if you are in Kingston, check out 'Tracks & Records', Usian Bolt's restaurant.   Good food.  Try not to get shot wandering around the downtown though.


Scotchies ... Jerk chicken and jerk pork go well with crack and booze.
 
2014-05-06 11:55:19 AM  

EngineerAU: Sooner or later (probably sooner) he's going to wind up dead due to his additions or questionable company. If that happens, I wonder if his brother will run for mayor and get swept in by the Ford Nation and some amount of sympathy voting.


His brother has no chance of winning, or capturing the Ford Nation vote. He has the charisma of a rock, and doesn't have the history with voters like Rob did.
 
2014-05-06 11:55:32 AM  

Yaw String: ObscureNameHere: Perhaps Mayor Bombaclott took a Caribbean Airlines flight to Jamaica to be with his people.
Hey Ford: if you are in Kingston, check out 'Tracks & Records', Usian Bolt's restaurant.   Good food.  Try not to get shot wandering around the downtown though.

Scotchies ... Jerk chicken and jerk pork go well with crack and booze.


Yah, Scotchies too.  Nothing to fatten you up like a Red Stripe and some of that festival bread. :)
 
2014-05-06 11:55:39 AM  
Ford =
Fixed
Or
Rehabbed
Daily
 
2014-05-06 11:57:10 AM  
He's out there somewhere.   We may never see him again, but we'll hear rumors of him from time to time.

When a family of four gets a flat and a large, mysterious stranger fixes it for them.

When a young man thought about suicide as he sat all alone, but is talked out of it by a man with no name.

When a small town is saved from a rowdy motorcycle gang by an unknown drifter.

We'll hear the rumors.  We'll know he's out there.

Helping the common folk.  Writing wrongs.  Smoking crack.
 
2014-05-06 11:57:15 AM  

Nothing To See Here: Ford =
Fixed
Or
Rehabbed
Daily


nope the original still applies

Found
On
Road
Dead

or at least he will be if he keeps up the drinking and driving.
 
2014-05-06 11:58:11 AM  
Given his obesity, plus fits of drug and drink fueled raging, I think mother nature will stop him with a heart attack, stroke, embolism  or aneurism if he keeps on his present course.
 
2014-05-06 11:58:33 AM  
he said no no no
 
2014-05-06 12:03:50 PM  

Pope Larry II: jmayson: Benevolent Misanthrope: "U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?

He flew out of a small airport on a private plane and landed at Midway in Chicago, he would need to clear customs there.


And to add: a guy with a net worth of $50M (inherited) has that kind of pull, not to mention a house in Chicago, which is probably where he was running to to hide out.
 
2014-05-06 12:03:51 PM  
Why are this guy's antics still news?  I thought he was stripped of all power last year, because Toronto had no way to recall him.  isn't he just a figurehead until the next election?
 
2014-05-06 12:04:00 PM  

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Perhaps he's hiking the Appalachian Trail?


I can send a text to my friend he is on the trail now that lucky son of a whore.


Ford is with Bieber smoking crack and eating poutine.
 
2014-05-06 12:05:54 PM  
He and Charlie Sheen will team up to do a ustream show
 
2014-05-06 12:06:25 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

I believe they call that a "Nombre Numéro Cinq" up on the Rue de St. Catherine.


/yeah, I'm that guy
//It's actually a Numéro Trois; a Numéro Cinq includes kechup-flavoured chips and a Pepsi.
 
2014-05-06 12:07:28 PM  
I think you'll have better luck checking the crack houses.
 
2014-05-06 12:08:24 PM  
I'm guessing he had something in his bags that he didn't want customs agents to find out about.  I wonder what that could have been?
 
2014-05-06 12:08:59 PM  
I'm willing to bet he had no reservations at any rehab facilities in Chicago, or anywhere else in the US. Add in his record in Florida, and I can understand why a Border security agent would say "Thanks, but No"

It would be funny if they detected drugs or residue on his luggage or person, and that was why he was denied entry

/do you make reservations at rehab?
 
2014-05-06 12:09:00 PM  

raerae1980: ecmoRandomNumbers: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

I believe they call that a "Nombre Cinq" up on the Rue de St. Catherine.

Damn you. I'm sitting in a history class right now trying to stifle my laughter.

Then why are you on Fark? Shouldn't you be paying attention to class?

/loved history classes


No. Subbing. It's such a no-brainer job. If I'm not showing a video, I'm just passing out worksheets. The teachers who know me leave me plans on what they want taught, and I just write a synopsis of the lecture. The ones who don't know me usually just leave babysitting instructions. Unfortunately, I'm just babysitting right now while they work on worksheets.
 
2014-05-06 12:09:29 PM  
See ya later, suckers!

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-06 12:09:34 PM  

jmayson: Benevolent Misanthrope: "U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?


Porter airlines flies out of Toronto Island to Midway and unlike Pearson you don't pre-clear customs there.

Porter's really convenient but the customs line on landing can be a biatch if you're unlucky and behind a major international flight, though sometimes they take pity on the Canadians and put us in the line with the Americans.
 
2014-05-06 12:11:31 PM  
he pulled a d.b. cooper
 
2014-05-06 12:12:39 PM  

tricycleracer: [bestofmeanwhilein.com image 640x480]


DAM GAY MARRIAGE! We told you it is a slippery slope.
 
2014-05-06 12:14:58 PM  
Toronto Sun's rumor of the day is he's in Guelph:  http://www.torontosun.com/2014/05/06/is-rob-ford-at-guelph-rehab-faci l ity

...but really, it's the Sun.
 
2014-05-06 12:15:09 PM  

medius: he pulled a d.b. cooper


No way, a parachute that big woulda been spotted from Panama, and if he jumped sans chute the impact......
 
2014-05-06 12:15:13 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: raerae1980: ecmoRandomNumbers: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

I believe they call that a "Nombre Cinq" up on the Rue de St. Catherine.

Damn you. I'm sitting in a history class right now trying to stifle my laughter.

Then why are you on Fark? Shouldn't you be paying attention to class?

/loved history classes

No. Subbing. It's such a no-brainer job. If I'm not showing a video, I'm just passing out worksheets. The teachers who know me leave me plans on what they want taught, and I just write a synopsis of the lecture. The ones who don't know me usually just leave babysitting instructions. Unfortunately, I'm just babysitting right now while they work on worksheets.


Ah, gotcha.

/I was just giving you a hard time B-)
 
2014-05-06 12:15:53 PM  
jmayson:

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?

He flew from a small airport (Buttonville) to Chicago on a private plane.  As Mayor of Toronto, he doesn't have that kind of pull, but as a member of a very wealthy family, he does.

If he's playing hooky from rehab, my money has him holed up at the family cottage up in the Muskokas, with a big bag of crack and a crate of vodka.
 
2014-05-06 12:17:28 PM  
In the thread about him announcing his leave I had said that "leave of absence" was code for "hoping to resign quietly and unnoticed". Some people scoffed at that. Just back to say I told you so.
 
2014-05-06 12:19:13 PM  

Pope Larry II: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

But Dougie says he's "in a program" and "losing weight". And Dougie would never lie to the press, ever. My guess is that he's at the family cottage on a bender, waiting for the whole scandal to blow over.

If you find Mayor McCrackhead, keep him. Now that he's gone we may be able to have an adult conversation about how to move Toronto forward.


His story kinda made sense though, if he's in rehab, it makes sense to not reveal the details till after the fact.

Unless he's at the Mayo clinic with Lindsay Lohan, I think everyone there would be better off without the media.
 
2014-05-06 12:19:52 PM  

bigbadideasinaction: jmayson: Benevolent Misanthrope: "U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?

Porter airlines flies out of Toronto Island to Midway and unlike Pearson you don't pre-clear customs there.

Porter's really convenient but the customs line on landing can be a biatch if you're unlucky and behind a major international flight, though sometimes they take pity on the Canadians and put us in the line with the Americans.


I thought it might be something like that, wasn't sure.
 
2014-05-06 12:19:57 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

That's my estimation.  On a bender, somewhere in Canada.


If so it's a suicide bender and he's fully aware of that.  Which, for all the jokes and despite the irrefutable fact he brought it on himself, is still pretty sad.


partly because now this will be running through my head all day

Well ya know they tried to make him go to rehab but he said "no-no-no"
 
2014-05-06 12:20:56 PM  
Found Him!

Canadian town tries to sell whale carcass on eBay

http://www.breitbart.com/system/wire/9a4ad790-57db-45c4-bd08-1df1da7 2b a76
 
2014-05-06 12:22:24 PM  

Pribar: medius: he pulled a d.b. cooper

No way, a parachute that big woulda been spotted from Panama, and if he jumped sans chute the impact......


I didn't say he used a parachute.

/Crack broke his fall.
 
2014-05-06 12:22:43 PM  

jmayson: Benevolent Misanthrope: "U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?


He used a private plan to get there.
 
2014-05-06 12:23:21 PM  

whosits_112: namegoeshere: Wherever he is, I'm willing to bet there's a dead hooker not far away.

[i.huffpost.com image 570x238]
"Oh f*ck, what did I do??!?! How f*cking high was I?"


I've said it before and I'll say it again: We lost Chris Farley much too soon.
 
2014-05-06 12:27:44 PM  

Flakeloaf: whosits_112: namegoeshere: Wherever he is, I'm willing to bet there's a dead hooker not far away.

[i.huffpost.com image 570x238]
"Oh f*ck, what did I do??!?! How f*cking high was I?"

I've said it before and I'll say it again: We lost Chris Farley much too soon.


But we will have Beiber till he is in his 80s....
 
2014-05-06 12:30:31 PM  
Why, again, would Toronto want anyone to find him?
 
2014-05-06 12:30:37 PM  
I got a vial of crack in my hand, and I'll give it to him, when he's done blowing me.
 
2014-05-06 12:31:36 PM  
Ghost Roach:

It would be funny if they detected drugs or residue on his luggage or person, and that was why he was denied entry


I miss the simpler days of yore. We drove across the border twice on a trip from Wisconsin to New Hampshire. The car had furry leopard print fabric on the dashboard. The back seat was two tires covered in blankets which was surprisingly comfortable. We all lit cigarettes just before getting to the Canadian border to mask the dope smell. We had cunningly hidden the drugs in an ashtray. We were waved right through. At the US border we weren't as high, but were still somewhat amped up from speed (so we could stay awake to drive) and were still waved right through. Four very smelly and high students in a suspicious looking car reeking of dope and cheetoh dust just waved through two border crossings with nary a peep from the guards.

That children, is what life was like before Homeland Security.
 
2014-05-06 12:37:19 PM  

shortymac: jmayson: Benevolent Misanthrope: "U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?

He used a private plan to get there.


A plane might have been faster.

/Ducking
 
2014-05-06 12:37:50 PM  
i16.tinypic.com
Last seen entering an abandoned warehouse with this man. Only Ford was seen leaving the premises.
 
2014-05-06 12:42:21 PM  
Has anyone checked behind the couch cushions?

/ ok it would have to be a ginormous couch
// he could be there with the lost spare change and spare crack
/// what, everyone doesn't..err, never mind...
 
2014-05-06 12:45:18 PM  
 
2014-05-06 12:45:18 PM  

pippi longstocking: [i16.tinypic.com image 350x262]
Last seen entering an abandoned warehouse with this man. Only Ford was seen leaving the premises.


OH MY GOD HE ATE TYRONE BIGGUMS! THAT MONSTER!!!
 
2014-05-06 12:47:05 PM  
He was here just a while ago. I'm not sure what to do with the hooker he left behind. I'm also not sure if she's breathing and I don't want to get close enough to find out. And no way I'm giving it mouth-to-mouth or mouth-to-anything if it ain't. And to think he spent good money on it.
 
2014-05-06 12:52:06 PM  

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Perhaps he's hiking the Appalachian Trail?


I don't know, I heard he had more than enough to eat at home.
 
2014-05-06 12:52:39 PM  
he COULD be in a Canadian rehab program, could he not?
 
2014-05-06 12:55:08 PM  
dude's dead
 
2014-05-06 12:57:16 PM  

Mystery Vortex: In the thread about him announcing his leave I had said that "leave of absence" was code for "hoping to resign quietly and unnoticed". Some people scoffed at that. Just back to say I told you so.


I'm not convinced. Rob loves the spot light too much to quit. He's going to come out of rehab in 3-4 weeks and say "Yes, there's a video of me smoking crack but I went to rehab so your argument is invalid".  Even worse the idiots will eat it up and he will win the Mayoral election.  Then I will know that I am justified in having lost all faith in Ontario.

/Prove me wrong Toronto
//For the love of FSM, please prove me wrong
 
2014-05-06 01:01:01 PM  

LadySusan: Ghost Roach:

It would be funny if they detected drugs or residue on his luggage or person, and that was why he was denied entry


I miss the simpler days of yore. We drove across the border twice on a trip from Wisconsin to New Hampshire. The car had furry leopard print fabric on the dashboard. The back seat was two tires covered in blankets which was surprisingly comfortable. We all lit cigarettes just before getting to the Canadian border to mask the dope smell. We had cunningly hidden the drugs in an ashtray. We were waved right through. At the US border we weren't as high, but were still somewhat amped up from speed (so we could stay awake to drive) and were still waved right through. Four very smelly and high students in a suspicious looking car reeking of dope and cheetoh dust just waved through two border crossings with nary a peep from the guards.

That children, is what life was like before Homeland Security.


You... I like you!
 
2014-05-06 01:01:39 PM  

Savage Bacon: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

I believe they call that a "Nombre Numéro Cinq" up on the Rue de St. Catherine.

/yeah, I'm that guy


Yeah, the Quebecois are known for their rigid adherence to the rules of L'Académie française.

/Fin de sarcasme
 
2014-05-06 01:03:06 PM  
Found him!

He wasn't lying about being in rehab.
 
2014-05-06 01:10:32 PM  

garandman1a: And to think he spent good money on it.


$5 isn't good money. Mediocre money at best.
 
2014-05-06 01:13:57 PM  

LadySusan: Ghost Roach:

It would be funny if they detected drugs or residue on his luggage or person, and that was why he was denied entry


I miss the simpler days of yore. We drove across the border twice on a trip from Wisconsin to New Hampshire. The car had furry leopard print fabric on the dashboard. The back seat was two tires covered in blankets which was surprisingly comfortable. We all lit cigarettes just before getting to the Canadian border to mask the dope smell. We had cunningly hidden the drugs in an ashtray. We were waved right through. At the US border we weren't as high, but were still somewhat amped up from speed (so we could stay awake to drive) and were still waved right through. Four very smelly and high students in a suspicious looking car reeking of dope and cheetoh dust just waved through two border crossings with nary a peep from the guards.

That children, is what life was like before Homeland Security.


I remember times like that. We'd road trip from Virginia to Boston for lobster. The car was so full of food wrappers and beer cans, we kept the bottle of booze on the dash so we'd not lose it. I miss the days of my buddy's puke yellow Ford Falcon.
 
2014-05-06 01:20:22 PM  
There is only one question to be considered: Why does anyone give a damn?
 
2014-05-06 01:26:08 PM  
"For the one millionth time, Rob Ford is in a rehabilitation program."

For the one millionth time, Rob Ford does not smoke crack"

See the problem here, Doug?
 
2014-05-06 01:27:52 PM  
tricycleracer:

Canadian prostitution?
 
2014-05-06 01:33:28 PM  
hehehehe. seen in TO already...
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-06 01:38:30 PM  
This man has hit richard prior level of addiction. No one who knows of him will sell to him, so he's out looking for a drug dealer who doesn't know his face.
 
2014-05-06 01:39:17 PM  

LadySusan: Ghost Roach:

It would be funny if they detected drugs or residue on his luggage or person, and that was why he was denied entry


I miss the simpler days of yore. We drove across the border twice on a trip from Wisconsin to New Hampshire. The car had furry leopard print fabric on the dashboard. The back seat was two tires covered in blankets which was surprisingly comfortable. We all lit cigarettes just before getting to the Canadian border to mask the dope smell. We had cunningly hidden the drugs in an ashtray. We were waved right through. At the US border we weren't as high, but were still somewhat amped up from speed (so we could stay awake to drive) and were still waved right through. Four very smelly and high students in a suspicious looking car reeking of dope and cheetoh dust just waved through two border crossings with nary a peep from the guards.

That children, is what life was like before Homeland Security.


In the modern version, we dump the pot after we leave Burlington, Febreeze the car, and pick up more in Montreal. The key, though, is to look the part and they just wave you right though.

/that or border guards don't wanna deal with a car full of gays
 
2014-05-06 01:44:22 PM  

spawn73: His story kinda made sense though, if he's in rehab, it makes sense to not reveal the details till after the fact.


The problem is that Ford no longer gets the benefit of the doubt for anything.  If he wants anyone to believe he's in rehab, he's going to have to prove it ahead of time so that it can be verified with the clinic.

Nobody who is sane actually believed that he was going to rehab anyway.  Everyone knows he just took the customary 30-day get-the-heat-off-you route and claimed "rehab".
 
2014-05-06 01:46:40 PM  

redheededstepchild: No one who knows of him will sell to him, so he's out looking for a drug dealer who doesn't know his face.


He has a considerable amount of money (so you can raise the prices), and everyone knows he's an addict, so being in a position to sell him drugs puts you in a position of power over him.  Believe me, there are lots of local drug dealers who will still sell to him.
 
2014-05-06 01:48:03 PM  
Did anyone think to check the pig farms? He could be feeding, or, since Canada will never live this down, be the feed.
 
2014-05-06 01:52:01 PM  
All joking aside, I still think that there is some good in him. I believe one day like Darth Vader, he will pick up the Emperor (his brother Doug Ford, who has nothing redeemable about him) and throw him off the CN Tower to bring balance back to the Force.

/happy belated May the 4th everyone
 
2014-05-06 01:53:05 PM  

sno man: hehehehe. seen in TO already...
[img.fark.net image 600x800]


The "Sorry, no reward" at the end is a nice touch.
 
2014-05-06 01:53:55 PM  

Paris1127: Did anyone think to check the pig farms? He could be feeding, or, since Canada will never live this down, be the feed.


3.bp.blogspot.com
/pig farmer, eh?
 
2014-05-06 01:56:04 PM  

Pope Larry II: EngineerAU: Sooner or later (probably sooner) he's going to wind up dead due to his additions or questionable company. If that happens, I wonder if his brother will run for mayor and get swept in by the Ford Nation and some amount of sympathy voting.

His brother has no chance of winning, or capturing the Ford Nation vote. He has the charisma of a rock, and doesn't have the history with voters like Rob did.


Doug is a rare breed: a sociopath who actually looks like what we think a sociopath would look like. The eyes are a dead giveaway. Rob can at least give the impression that he will be in your corner with you. Doug looks like he'd have someone beat you to a pulp, force you to clean up, and then take over your corner, telling everyone "who? nope, I was always here, alone, hard work got me here, now shut up or I'll sue you".
 
2014-05-06 01:59:42 PM  
He's celebrating Cinco de Mayo. All month long.

Hey, if he can claim to be Jamaican, he can claim to be Mexican too
 
2014-05-06 01:59:48 PM  

oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.


I do believe his brother called that rehab.
 
2014-05-06 02:09:12 PM  
I love this guy....he's the gift that keeps on giving.
 
2014-05-06 02:12:40 PM  
It all boils down to a simple misunderstanding  . he thought they were suggesting "weed and absinthe", not a "leave of absence"

He's just off on the worlds best scavenger hunt right now.
 
2014-05-06 02:18:20 PM  

GavinTheAlmighty: spawn73: His story kinda made sense though, if he's in rehab, it makes sense to not reveal the details till after the fact.

The problem is that Ford no longer gets the benefit of the doubt for anything.  If he wants anyone to believe he's in rehab, he's going to have to prove it ahead of time so that it can be verified with the clinic.

Nobody who is sane actually believed that he was going to rehab anyway.  Everyone knows he just took the customary 30-day get-the-heat-off-you route and claimed "rehab".


What was he trying to do in USA anyway?

But no he doesn't get any benefit of doubt, though, if he turns up 30 days from now from some kind of rehab, well good for him.

/I think rehab takes longer than 30 days. Is he actually additected, in that he gets cravings if he's not high? His problem seems to be beyond the scope of just getting it out of his system.
 
2014-05-06 02:22:22 PM  
I called this in the last RoFo thread.

Just saying.
 
2014-05-06 02:26:53 PM  

spawn73: What was he trying to do in USA anyway?

But no he doesn't get any benefit of doubt, though, if he turns up 30 days from now from some kind of rehab, well good for him.

/I think rehab takes longer than 30 days. Is he actually additected, in that he gets cravings if he's not high? His problem seems to be beyond the scope of just getting it out of his system.


The most plausible theory I've heard is that he was set to hide out in a family property in Chicago.  The family company has an office in Chicago so it wouldn't too difficult to set him up there (I don't know if there are actually any family properties in Chicago - I'm just guessing there are considering there's a Deco Labels office there).

I flat-out won't believe he went to rehab unless I see a receipt for his time there and I hear an official statement from someone who actually worked at the clinic.  And even then, I'll be suspicious.
 
2014-05-06 02:27:45 PM  

GavinTheAlmighty: redheededstepchild: No one who knows of him will sell to him, so he's out looking for a drug dealer who doesn't know his face.

He has a considerable amount of money (so you can raise the prices), and everyone knows he's an addict, so being in a position to sell him drugs puts you in a position of power over him.  Believe me, there are lots of local drug dealers who will still sell to him.


Rob Ford and his family was dealing drugs themselves back in the day - I'm sure he has all the connections he needs to score whatever he wants.
 
2014-05-06 02:30:20 PM  

bigbadideasinaction: Rob Ford and his family was dealing drugs themselves back in the day - I'm sure he has all the connections he needs to score whatever he wants.


Remember when the Fords threatened to sue over that story?

Remember how the lawsuit never went anywhere?

Just like all the others?
 
2014-05-06 02:35:38 PM  

GavinTheAlmighty: spawn73: What was he trying to do in USA anyway?

But no he doesn't get any benefit of doubt, though, if he turns up 30 days from now from some kind of rehab, well good for him.

/I think rehab takes longer than 30 days. Is he actually additected, in that he gets cravings if he's not high? His problem seems to be beyond the scope of just getting it out of his system.

The most plausible theory I've heard is that he was set to hide out in a family property in Chicago.  The family company has an office in Chicago so it wouldn't too difficult to set him up there (I don't know if there are actually any family properties in Chicago - I'm just guessing there are considering there's a Deco Labels office there).

I flat-out won't believe he went to rehab unless I see a receipt for his time there and I hear an official statement from someone who actually worked at the clinic.  And even then, I'll be suspicious.


Is there anything really, that prevents him from just driving in a car?

If that was his plan, then maybe he did just that.
 
2014-05-06 02:37:22 PM  
There's no rehab in Toronto? I don't get it.
 
2014-05-06 02:39:09 PM  

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Perhaps he's hiking the Appalachian Trail?


That would be mesmerizing.
media2.giphy.com
 
2014-05-06 02:40:06 PM  
Maybe he's out shooting a quart of heroin. Who could blame him?
 
2014-05-06 02:42:07 PM  

spawn73: s there anything really, that prevents him from just driving in a car?

If that was his plan, then maybe he did just that.


Driving to Chicago in a car?  Nothing prevents him, but if you hit traffic, it's a 10-11 hour drive.  It's not exactly pleasant.  Plus he's a multi-millionaire and despite his anti-elite stance, he's the first to decry the things that poorer people use.

moothemagiccow: There's no rehab in Toronto? I don't get it.


There is, but it's a common tactic with rehab to remove yourself completely from the environment that led you to your addiction.  There's a great facility in Guelph, but I have serious doubts he's anywhere other than locked in his basement, smoking crack, binge drinking and puking on himself.
 
2014-05-06 02:45:13 PM  

moothemagiccow: There's no rehab in Toronto? I don't get it.


Part of the plan is to get him out of the spotlight until the latest controversy blows over, it would be hard to do that if the press found him. Chicago is was a good choice as they have a condo down there, he's been to the city before...He just couldn't get into the country.

The rumour is he's somewhere in southern Ontario, I give the Globe and the Star 24 hours to find him. We'll know soon if he's actually in rehab or just at a luxury spa for a month.
 
2014-05-06 02:46:14 PM  

GavinTheAlmighty: spawn73: What was he trying to do in USA anyway?

But no he doesn't get any benefit of doubt, though, if he turns up 30 days from now from some kind of rehab, well good for him.

/I think rehab takes longer than 30 days. Is he actually additected, in that he gets cravings if he's not high? His problem seems to be beyond the scope of just getting it out of his system.

The most plausible theory I've heard is that he was set to hide out in a family property in Chicago.  The family company has an office in Chicago so it wouldn't too difficult to set him up there (I don't know if there are actually any family properties in Chicago - I'm just guessing there are considering there's a Deco Labels office there).

I flat-out won't believe he went to rehab unless I see a receipt for his time there and I hear an official statement from someone who actually worked at the clinic.  And even then, I'll be suspicious.


Doug has a house in Chicago.  Many that know more about it than me have said 30 days wont do much other than dry him out, and only if he's actually in a facility.  He will likely lose some weight too, without all the booze and buckets of fried chicken snacks.

My instinct tells me he's locked in a cheap-ass motel somewhere not too far from Toronto with Mikey staying in the next room and checking in on him between episodes of Days of Our Lives and Springer.  Old School.  Rehab (!?)
 
2014-05-06 02:48:07 PM  

GavinTheAlmighty: spawn73: s there anything really, that prevents him from just driving in a car?

If that was his plan, then maybe he did just that.

Driving to Chicago in a car?  Nothing prevents him, but if you hit traffic, it's a 10-11 hour drive.  It's not exactly pleasant.  Plus he's a multi-millionaire and despite his anti-elite stance, he's the first to decry the things that poorer people use.

moothemagiccow: There's no rehab in Toronto? I don't get it.

There is, but it's a common tactic with rehab to remove yourself completely from the environment that led you to your addiction.  There's a great facility in Guelph, but I have serious doubts he's anywhere other than locked in his basement, smoking crack, binge drinking and puking on himself.


I've heard two "sources" for the Guelph thing. I bet if you Googled Rob Ford Rehab and Guelph it would be the top of the list.
 
2014-05-06 02:53:12 PM  

Pope Larry II: GavinTheAlmighty: spawn73: s there anything really, that prevents him from just driving in a car?

If that was his plan, then maybe he did just that.

Driving to Chicago in a car?  Nothing prevents him, but if you hit traffic, it's a 10-11 hour drive.  It's not exactly pleasant.  Plus he's a multi-millionaire and despite his anti-elite stance, he's the first to decry the things that poorer people use.

moothemagiccow: There's no rehab in Toronto? I don't get it.

There is, but it's a common tactic with rehab to remove yourself completely from the environment that led you to your addiction.  There's a great facility in Guelph, but I have serious doubts he's anywhere other than locked in his basement, smoking crack, binge drinking and puking on himself.

I've heard two "sources" for the Guelph thing. I bet if you Googled Rob Ford Rehab and Guelph it would be the top of the list.


Homewood.
It's supposed to be pretty good and there a number of famous people that have allegedly been through there.  That was a lot more believable when the plane landed in Hamilton.
The plane was to have landed in Hamilton when it left Chicago, but went on to Buttonville, in Markham (a lot more drive to Guelph.)
there is a place at Vic Park and McNichol (just down the road from Buttonville) that has been getting some speculation too.
 
2014-05-06 02:53:59 PM  

CJHardin: Snarfangel: Perhaps he is a motivational speaker, living in a van down by the river.
[31.media.tumblr.com image 364x273]

Damn you!  You beat me to it, word for word.

I think that it's one of life's cruel jokes that Chris Farley isn't alive to play Rob Ford's character.


I think Rob Ford is playing Chris Farley.
 
2014-05-06 02:56:21 PM  

Pope Larry II: GavinTheAlmighty: spawn73: s there anything really, that prevents him from just driving in a car?

If that was his plan, then maybe he did just that.

Driving to Chicago in a car?  Nothing prevents him, but if you hit traffic, it's a 10-11 hour drive.  It's not exactly pleasant.  Plus he's a multi-millionaire and despite his anti-elite stance, he's the first to decry the things that poorer people use.

moothemagiccow: There's no rehab in Toronto? I don't get it.

There is, but it's a common tactic with rehab to remove yourself completely from the environment that led you to your addiction.  There's a great facility in Guelph, but I have serious doubts he's anywhere other than locked in his basement, smoking crack, binge drinking and puking on himself.

I've heard two "sources" for the Guelph thing. I bet if you Googled Rob Ford Rehab and Guelph it would be the top of the list.


I'm also thinking this is true.  http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/crystal-meth-use-on- t he-rise-say-guelph-police-1.2632371
 
2014-05-06 02:58:02 PM  
news.easybranches.com
 
2014-05-06 03:01:25 PM  
Mammoliti is right about one thing: As a leftie, nothing would make me happier than seeing Ford die. Good riddance.

What a horrible human being.
 
2014-05-06 03:02:39 PM  

sno man: Pope Larry II: GavinTheAlmighty: spawn73: s there anything really, that prevents him from just driving in a car?

If that was his plan, then maybe he did just that.

Driving to Chicago in a car?  Nothing prevents him, but if you hit traffic, it's a 10-11 hour drive.  It's not exactly pleasant.  Plus he's a multi-millionaire and despite his anti-elite stance, he's the first to decry the things that poorer people use.

moothemagiccow: There's no rehab in Toronto? I don't get it.

There is, but it's a common tactic with rehab to remove yourself completely from the environment that led you to your addiction.  There's a great facility in Guelph, but I have serious doubts he's anywhere other than locked in his basement, smoking crack, binge drinking and puking on himself.

I've heard two "sources" for the Guelph thing. I bet if you Googled Rob Ford Rehab and Guelph it would be the top of the list.

Homewood.
It's supposed to be pretty good and there a number of famous people that have allegedly been through there.  That was a lot more believable when the plane landed in Hamilton.
The plane was to have landed in Hamilton when it left Chicago, but went on to Buttonville, in Markham (a lot more drive to Guelph.)
there is a place at Vic Park and McNichol (just down the road from Buttonville) that has been getting some speculation too.


I'd love to give Ford the benefit of doubt that he's actually in rehab, but I can't, not with the Ford's history of make shiat up as they go.

Frankly I'd be happy if Rob, got clean, got his life together and when back to coaching high school football full time and left politics altogether.
 
2014-05-06 03:07:06 PM  

whatshisname: "For the one millionth time, Rob Ford is in a rehabilitation program."

For the one millionth time, Rob Ford does not smoke crack"

See the problem here, Doug?


Not from THIS seat...
img.fark.net
I wonder if he thinks we wont notice...
 
2014-05-06 03:10:59 PM  

GavinTheAlmighty: spawn73: s there anything really, that prevents him from just driving in a car?

If that was his plan, then maybe he did just that.

Driving to Chicago in a car?  Nothing prevents him, but if you hit traffic, it's a 10-11 hour drive.  It's not exactly pleasant.  Plus he's a multi-millionaire and despite his anti-elite stance, he's the first to decry the things that poorer people use.


I think you mean last. He probably has a nice car anyway, so if he really wants to be in Chicago, then thats what I would do as Rob Ford.

/I'd also drink, but probably not crack.
 
2014-05-06 03:12:35 PM  

Pope Larry II: Frankly I'd be happy if Rob, got clean, got his life together and when back to coaching high school football full time and left politics altogether.


With you there, but the coaching may be off the table, with the league ban for not paying league fees and having been fired from Don Bosco. (and potential criminal charges)
 
2014-05-06 03:17:34 PM  
Pope Larry II:
Dougie says he's "in a program" and "losing weight".

Maybe the reporters haven't asked the right question.
In a program and in a rehab facility are different things.
 
2014-05-06 03:30:24 PM  

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Perhaps he's hiking the Appalachian Trail?


Well, he's more likely to find some meth labs along parts of the trail.
 
2014-05-06 03:55:06 PM  

spawn73: GavinTheAlmighty:

The most plausible theory I've heard is that he was set to hide out in a family property in Chicago.  The family company has an office in Chicago so it wouldn't too difficult to set him up there (I don't know if there are actually any family properties in Chicago - I'm just guessing there are considering there's a Deco Labels office there).

I flat-out won't believe he went to rehab unless I see a receipt for his time there and I hear an official statement from someone who actually worked at the clinic.  And even then, I'll be suspicious.

Is there anything really, that prevents him from just driving in a car?

If that was his plan, then maybe he did just that.


Although it's usually easier to go through the border by car than at the airport, his name is probably flagged into the database as a drug user now. He'd still have to get his passport swiped at the crossing point, and would likely face the same problem. And there is a pretty big chance he'd be recognized anyway, the crossings on the way to Chicago are still fairly close to Toronto and I bet they watch the same news we do. Since border officers have some discretion, it could go either way, they might let him pass because they know him, or they might stop him because they know him.

But if he's tagged in the system, he may never be able to enter the US again. Good for you, I guess, but that means we can't get rid of him now. He could have gone to his place in Florida and blend in with the locals and we would all have been happier for it.
 
2014-05-06 04:14:46 PM  

sno man: Homewood.
It's supposed to be pretty good


I know one person who's been to Homewood and I've been there to pick him up.  The clinic itself is very nice However, he's still a raging alcoholic who has lost his family and nice house in the suburbs and now lives in a rooming house in Mimico. He just didn't want to change.
 
2014-05-06 04:17:24 PM  

medius: he said no no no


Well done! Havnt thought of that song in years. How apropos.
 
2014-05-06 04:21:15 PM  
So, he's gone then?  Canada's long nightmare is over?
 
2014-05-06 04:23:55 PM  

GavinTheAlmighty: sno man: Homewood.
It's supposed to be pretty good

I know one person who's been to Homewood and I've been there to pick him up.  The clinic itself is very nice However, he's still a raging alcoholic who has lost his family and nice house in the suburbs and now lives in a rooming house in Mimico. He just didn't want to change.


If you aren't ready to change, and actually want to, it wont matter how good the place is.  Rob is not there yet either.
 
2014-05-06 04:33:51 PM  
CJHardin:

I think that it's one of life's cruel jokes that Chris Farley isn't alive to play Rob Ford's character.

I've seen this sentiment a lot, but everyone seems to be missing the bigger opportunity here.  David Spade needs to approach this guy for Tommy Boy II.  Ford gets out of politics and into Hollywood where his lifestyle wouldn't raise an eyebrow, Spade gets a decent paycheque again - everybody wins!
 
2014-05-06 04:39:26 PM  
He was last seen storming through downtown NYC:

www.techsavvyed.net
 
2014-05-06 04:39:28 PM  

Yzziefrog: Pope Larry II: EngineerAU: Sooner or later (probably sooner) he's going to wind up dead due to his additions or questionable company. If that happens, I wonder if his brother will run for mayor and get swept in by the Ford Nation and some amount of sympathy voting.

His brother has no chance of winning, or capturing the Ford Nation vote. He has the charisma of a rock, and doesn't have the history with voters like Rob did.

Doug is a rare breed: a sociopath who actually looks like what we think a sociopath would look like. The eyes are a dead giveaway. Rob can at least give the impression that he will be in your corner with you. Doug looks like he'd have someone beat you to a pulp, force you to clean up, and then take over your corner, telling everyone "who? nope, I was always here, alone, hard work got me here, now shut up or I'll sue you".


This. So much this! Robby would never have made it this far without the true power hiding behind the throne pulling Rob's strings.
 
2014-05-06 04:46:24 PM  
Also, if he isn't in rehab and is out loose in the world, there will be pics and videos being shopped around very shortly.  Looking forward to hearing brother Doug's comments if (when) that happens.
 
2014-05-06 04:51:59 PM  
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/05/06/doug-ford-toronto-mayor-rob-f o rd_n_5275599.html?utm_hp_ref=canada-politics

If Doug Ford gets elected Mayor, I'm moving to Hamilton.

On the bright side, that probably means Rob is not coming back. Otherwise Doug would not stick to a "no comment". He'd call the reporter a vulture and threaten to sue him, and insist Rob will be back in 4 weeks, 150 lbs lighter and 120% sober, ready to come back and defend the City from "tax and spend" Councillors who blacken his good name because he's a man of the people and they're downtown elites who don't respect taxpayers.
 
2014-05-06 04:53:02 PM  

LadySusan: Ghost Roach:

It would be funny if they detected drugs or residue on his luggage or person, and that was why he was denied entry


I miss the simpler days of yore. We drove across the border twice on a trip from Wisconsin to New Hampshire. The car had furry leopard print fabric on the dashboard. The back seat was two tires covered in blankets which was surprisingly comfortable. We all lit cigarettes just before getting to the Canadian border to mask the dope smell. We had cunningly hidden the drugs in an ashtray. We were waved right through. At the US border we weren't as high, but were still somewhat amped up from speed (so we could stay awake to drive) and were still waved right through. Four very smelly and high students in a suspicious looking car reeking of dope and cheetoh dust just waved through two border crossings with nary a peep from the guards.

That children, is what life was like before Homeland Security.


My subscription to your newsletter is in the mail.

/still laughing
//do rehabs take reservations?
///srs question for srs thread
 
2014-05-06 05:04:34 PM  

LograyX: He's out there somewhere.   We may never see him again, but we'll hear rumors of him from time to time.

When a family of four gets a flat and a large, mysterious stranger fixes it for them.

When a young man thought about suicide as he sat all alone, but is talked out of it by a man with no name.

When a small town is saved from a rowdy motorcycle gang by an unknown drifter.

We'll hear the rumors.  We'll know he's out there.

Helping the common folk.  Writing wrongs.  Smoking crack.


I'd watch this series. Especially if the writers could work in A-Team and Knightrider crossovers (bonus points for Hogan or Boy George).
 
2014-05-06 06:00:09 PM  

Gawain: CJHardin:

I think that it's one of life's cruel jokes that Chris Farley isn't alive to play Rob Ford's character.

I've seen this sentiment a lot, but everyone seems to be missing the bigger opportunity here.  David Spade needs to approach this guy for Tommy Boy II.   Ford gets out of politics and into Hollywood where his lifestyle wouldn't raise an eyebrow, Spade gets a decent paycheque again - everybody wins!


He can't even get into Chicago, so LA is right out.
 
2014-05-06 06:58:33 PM  
Canadakota
 
2014-05-06 07:03:57 PM  
Maybe Rob Ford is Chris Christie's unknown Canadian doppleganger (look it up).  They're both
politicians, dimwits, and blubbitzes as well.  (The two of them together give new meaning to
the term "fathead" - sorry, David Newman fans.)
 
2014-05-06 07:15:58 PM  

CJHardin: Snarfangel: Perhaps he is a motivational speaker, living in a van down by the river.
[31.media.tumblr.com image 364x273]

Damn you!  You beat me to it, word for word.

I think that it's one of life's cruel jokes that Chris Farley isn't alive to play Rob Ford's character.


so much THIS...

/ note-perfect casting opportunity....forever lost...
 
2014-05-06 08:34:28 PM  

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Perhaps he's hiking the Appalachian Trail?


He'll be back by the crack of dawn.
 
2014-05-06 08:39:11 PM  

Snarfangel: Perhaps he is a motivational speaker, living in a van down by the river.
[31.media.tumblr.com image 364x273]



Leaving satisfied.

//little disappointed this wasn't the Weeners
//can't win them all
 
2014-05-06 09:02:42 PM  
If his bloated corpse washes up in the harbor will they try to blow it up?
 
Displayed 139 of 139 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report