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(Toronto Sun)   So it turns out that Rob Ford didn't actually go to rehab and nobody knows where he is hiding. If everyone could please check your local bus stations and under your highway overpasses the city of Toronto would be very grateful   (torontosun.com) divider line 139
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5623 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2014 at 11:34 AM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-06 12:15:13 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: raerae1980: ecmoRandomNumbers: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

I believe they call that a "Nombre Cinq" up on the Rue de St. Catherine.

Damn you. I'm sitting in a history class right now trying to stifle my laughter.

Then why are you on Fark? Shouldn't you be paying attention to class?

/loved history classes

No. Subbing. It's such a no-brainer job. If I'm not showing a video, I'm just passing out worksheets. The teachers who know me leave me plans on what they want taught, and I just write a synopsis of the lecture. The ones who don't know me usually just leave babysitting instructions. Unfortunately, I'm just babysitting right now while they work on worksheets.


Ah, gotcha.

/I was just giving you a hard time B-)
 
2014-05-06 12:15:53 PM
jmayson:

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?

He flew from a small airport (Buttonville) to Chicago on a private plane.  As Mayor of Toronto, he doesn't have that kind of pull, but as a member of a very wealthy family, he does.

If he's playing hooky from rehab, my money has him holed up at the family cottage up in the Muskokas, with a big bag of crack and a crate of vodka.
 
2014-05-06 12:17:28 PM
In the thread about him announcing his leave I had said that "leave of absence" was code for "hoping to resign quietly and unnoticed". Some people scoffed at that. Just back to say I told you so.
 
2014-05-06 12:19:13 PM

Pope Larry II: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

But Dougie says he's "in a program" and "losing weight". And Dougie would never lie to the press, ever. My guess is that he's at the family cottage on a bender, waiting for the whole scandal to blow over.

If you find Mayor McCrackhead, keep him. Now that he's gone we may be able to have an adult conversation about how to move Toronto forward.


His story kinda made sense though, if he's in rehab, it makes sense to not reveal the details till after the fact.

Unless he's at the Mayo clinic with Lindsay Lohan, I think everyone there would be better off without the media.
 
2014-05-06 12:19:52 PM

bigbadideasinaction: jmayson: Benevolent Misanthrope: "U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?

Porter airlines flies out of Toronto Island to Midway and unlike Pearson you don't pre-clear customs there.

Porter's really convenient but the customs line on landing can be a biatch if you're unlucky and behind a major international flight, though sometimes they take pity on the Canadians and put us in the line with the Americans.


I thought it might be something like that, wasn't sure.
 
2014-05-06 12:19:57 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

That's my estimation.  On a bender, somewhere in Canada.


If so it's a suicide bender and he's fully aware of that.  Which, for all the jokes and despite the irrefutable fact he brought it on himself, is still pretty sad.


partly because now this will be running through my head all day

Well ya know they tried to make him go to rehab but he said "no-no-no"
 
2014-05-06 12:20:56 PM
Found Him!

Canadian town tries to sell whale carcass on eBay

http://www.breitbart.com/system/wire/9a4ad790-57db-45c4-bd08-1df1da7 2b a76
 
2014-05-06 12:22:24 PM

Pribar: medius: he pulled a d.b. cooper

No way, a parachute that big woulda been spotted from Panama, and if he jumped sans chute the impact......


I didn't say he used a parachute.

/Crack broke his fall.
 
2014-05-06 12:22:43 PM

jmayson: Benevolent Misanthrope: "U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?


He used a private plan to get there.
 
2014-05-06 12:23:21 PM

whosits_112: namegoeshere: Wherever he is, I'm willing to bet there's a dead hooker not far away.

[i.huffpost.com image 570x238]
"Oh f*ck, what did I do??!?! How f*cking high was I?"


I've said it before and I'll say it again: We lost Chris Farley much too soon.
 
2014-05-06 12:27:44 PM

Flakeloaf: whosits_112: namegoeshere: Wherever he is, I'm willing to bet there's a dead hooker not far away.

[i.huffpost.com image 570x238]
"Oh f*ck, what did I do??!?! How f*cking high was I?"

I've said it before and I'll say it again: We lost Chris Farley much too soon.


But we will have Beiber till he is in his 80s....
 
2014-05-06 12:30:31 PM
Why, again, would Toronto want anyone to find him?
 
2014-05-06 12:30:37 PM
I got a vial of crack in my hand, and I'll give it to him, when he's done blowing me.
 
2014-05-06 12:31:36 PM
Ghost Roach:

It would be funny if they detected drugs or residue on his luggage or person, and that was why he was denied entry


I miss the simpler days of yore. We drove across the border twice on a trip from Wisconsin to New Hampshire. The car had furry leopard print fabric on the dashboard. The back seat was two tires covered in blankets which was surprisingly comfortable. We all lit cigarettes just before getting to the Canadian border to mask the dope smell. We had cunningly hidden the drugs in an ashtray. We were waved right through. At the US border we weren't as high, but were still somewhat amped up from speed (so we could stay awake to drive) and were still waved right through. Four very smelly and high students in a suspicious looking car reeking of dope and cheetoh dust just waved through two border crossings with nary a peep from the guards.

That children, is what life was like before Homeland Security.
 
2014-05-06 12:37:19 PM

shortymac: jmayson: Benevolent Misanthrope: "U.S. (Customs and Border Protection) confirmed to us that Mayor Ford arrived in Chicago last Thursday and that after discussion with US CBP he withdrew his request to enter the USA and departed," Norton told the Sun.

So he was denied entry and chose to accept the standard offer to voluntarily withdraw his visa application.  And yet Justin Bieber is still allowed freedom of travel.

There is no justice.

Here's what I don't get.  US CBP is in most major Canadian airports so he would have arrived in Chicago as a domestic passenger and not have had any contact with them.  Unless he flew in a private plane or some small Canadian airport, but does the mayor of Toronto have that kind of pull?

He used a private plan to get there.


A plane might have been faster.

/Ducking
 
2014-05-06 12:37:50 PM
i16.tinypic.com
Last seen entering an abandoned warehouse with this man. Only Ford was seen leaving the premises.
 
2014-05-06 12:42:21 PM
Has anyone checked behind the couch cushions?

/ ok it would have to be a ginormous couch
// he could be there with the lost spare change and spare crack
/// what, everyone doesn't..err, never mind...
 
2014-05-06 12:45:18 PM
 
2014-05-06 12:45:18 PM

pippi longstocking: [i16.tinypic.com image 350x262]
Last seen entering an abandoned warehouse with this man. Only Ford was seen leaving the premises.


OH MY GOD HE ATE TYRONE BIGGUMS! THAT MONSTER!!!
 
2014-05-06 12:47:05 PM
He was here just a while ago. I'm not sure what to do with the hooker he left behind. I'm also not sure if she's breathing and I don't want to get close enough to find out. And no way I'm giving it mouth-to-mouth or mouth-to-anything if it ain't. And to think he spent good money on it.
 
2014-05-06 12:52:06 PM

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Perhaps he's hiking the Appalachian Trail?


I don't know, I heard he had more than enough to eat at home.
 
2014-05-06 12:52:39 PM
he COULD be in a Canadian rehab program, could he not?
 
2014-05-06 12:55:08 PM
dude's dead
 
2014-05-06 12:57:16 PM

Mystery Vortex: In the thread about him announcing his leave I had said that "leave of absence" was code for "hoping to resign quietly and unnoticed". Some people scoffed at that. Just back to say I told you so.


I'm not convinced. Rob loves the spot light too much to quit. He's going to come out of rehab in 3-4 weeks and say "Yes, there's a video of me smoking crack but I went to rehab so your argument is invalid".  Even worse the idiots will eat it up and he will win the Mayoral election.  Then I will know that I am justified in having lost all faith in Ontario.

/Prove me wrong Toronto
//For the love of FSM, please prove me wrong
 
2014-05-06 01:01:01 PM

LadySusan: Ghost Roach:

It would be funny if they detected drugs or residue on his luggage or person, and that was why he was denied entry


I miss the simpler days of yore. We drove across the border twice on a trip from Wisconsin to New Hampshire. The car had furry leopard print fabric on the dashboard. The back seat was two tires covered in blankets which was surprisingly comfortable. We all lit cigarettes just before getting to the Canadian border to mask the dope smell. We had cunningly hidden the drugs in an ashtray. We were waved right through. At the US border we weren't as high, but were still somewhat amped up from speed (so we could stay awake to drive) and were still waved right through. Four very smelly and high students in a suspicious looking car reeking of dope and cheetoh dust just waved through two border crossings with nary a peep from the guards.

That children, is what life was like before Homeland Security.


You... I like you!
 
2014-05-06 01:01:39 PM

Savage Bacon: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.

I believe they call that a "Nombre Numéro Cinq" up on the Rue de St. Catherine.

/yeah, I'm that guy


Yeah, the Quebecois are known for their rigid adherence to the rules of L'Académie française.

/Fin de sarcasme
 
2014-05-06 01:03:06 PM
Found him!

He wasn't lying about being in rehab.
 
2014-05-06 01:10:32 PM

garandman1a: And to think he spent good money on it.


$5 isn't good money. Mediocre money at best.
 
2014-05-06 01:13:57 PM

LadySusan: Ghost Roach:

It would be funny if they detected drugs or residue on his luggage or person, and that was why he was denied entry


I miss the simpler days of yore. We drove across the border twice on a trip from Wisconsin to New Hampshire. The car had furry leopard print fabric on the dashboard. The back seat was two tires covered in blankets which was surprisingly comfortable. We all lit cigarettes just before getting to the Canadian border to mask the dope smell. We had cunningly hidden the drugs in an ashtray. We were waved right through. At the US border we weren't as high, but were still somewhat amped up from speed (so we could stay awake to drive) and were still waved right through. Four very smelly and high students in a suspicious looking car reeking of dope and cheetoh dust just waved through two border crossings with nary a peep from the guards.

That children, is what life was like before Homeland Security.


I remember times like that. We'd road trip from Virginia to Boston for lobster. The car was so full of food wrappers and beer cans, we kept the bottle of booze on the dash so we'd not lose it. I miss the days of my buddy's puke yellow Ford Falcon.
 
2014-05-06 01:20:22 PM
There is only one question to be considered: Why does anyone give a damn?
 
2014-05-06 01:26:08 PM
"For the one millionth time, Rob Ford is in a rehabilitation program."

For the one millionth time, Rob Ford does not smoke crack"

See the problem here, Doug?
 
2014-05-06 01:27:52 PM

tricycleracer:


Canadian prostitution?
 
2014-05-06 01:33:28 PM
hehehehe. seen in TO already...
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-06 01:38:30 PM
This man has hit richard prior level of addiction. No one who knows of him will sell to him, so he's out looking for a drug dealer who doesn't know his face.
 
2014-05-06 01:39:17 PM

LadySusan: Ghost Roach:

It would be funny if they detected drugs or residue on his luggage or person, and that was why he was denied entry


I miss the simpler days of yore. We drove across the border twice on a trip from Wisconsin to New Hampshire. The car had furry leopard print fabric on the dashboard. The back seat was two tires covered in blankets which was surprisingly comfortable. We all lit cigarettes just before getting to the Canadian border to mask the dope smell. We had cunningly hidden the drugs in an ashtray. We were waved right through. At the US border we weren't as high, but were still somewhat amped up from speed (so we could stay awake to drive) and were still waved right through. Four very smelly and high students in a suspicious looking car reeking of dope and cheetoh dust just waved through two border crossings with nary a peep from the guards.

That children, is what life was like before Homeland Security.


In the modern version, we dump the pot after we leave Burlington, Febreeze the car, and pick up more in Montreal. The key, though, is to look the part and they just wave you right though.

/that or border guards don't wanna deal with a car full of gays
 
2014-05-06 01:44:22 PM

spawn73: His story kinda made sense though, if he's in rehab, it makes sense to not reveal the details till after the fact.


The problem is that Ford no longer gets the benefit of the doubt for anything.  If he wants anyone to believe he's in rehab, he's going to have to prove it ahead of time so that it can be verified with the clinic.

Nobody who is sane actually believed that he was going to rehab anyway.  Everyone knows he just took the customary 30-day get-the-heat-off-you route and claimed "rehab".
 
2014-05-06 01:46:40 PM

redheededstepchild: No one who knows of him will sell to him, so he's out looking for a drug dealer who doesn't know his face.


He has a considerable amount of money (so you can raise the prices), and everyone knows he's an addict, so being in a position to sell him drugs puts you in a position of power over him.  Believe me, there are lots of local drug dealers who will still sell to him.
 
2014-05-06 01:48:03 PM
Did anyone think to check the pig farms? He could be feeding, or, since Canada will never live this down, be the feed.
 
2014-05-06 01:52:01 PM
All joking aside, I still think that there is some good in him. I believe one day like Darth Vader, he will pick up the Emperor (his brother Doug Ford, who has nothing redeemable about him) and throw him off the CN Tower to bring balance back to the Force.

/happy belated May the 4th everyone
 
2014-05-06 01:53:05 PM

sno man: hehehehe. seen in TO already...
[img.fark.net image 600x800]


The "Sorry, no reward" at the end is a nice touch.
 
2014-05-06 01:53:55 PM

Paris1127: Did anyone think to check the pig farms? He could be feeding, or, since Canada will never live this down, be the feed.


3.bp.blogspot.com
/pig farmer, eh?
 
2014-05-06 01:56:04 PM

Pope Larry II: EngineerAU: Sooner or later (probably sooner) he's going to wind up dead due to his additions or questionable company. If that happens, I wonder if his brother will run for mayor and get swept in by the Ford Nation and some amount of sympathy voting.

His brother has no chance of winning, or capturing the Ford Nation vote. He has the charisma of a rock, and doesn't have the history with voters like Rob did.


Doug is a rare breed: a sociopath who actually looks like what we think a sociopath would look like. The eyes are a dead giveaway. Rob can at least give the impression that he will be in your corner with you. Doug looks like he'd have someone beat you to a pulp, force you to clean up, and then take over your corner, telling everyone "who? nope, I was always here, alone, hard work got me here, now shut up or I'll sue you".
 
2014-05-06 01:59:42 PM
He's celebrating Cinco de Mayo. All month long.

Hey, if he can claim to be Jamaican, he can claim to be Mexican too
 
2014-05-06 01:59:48 PM

oldfarthenry: Why do I get the impression that Blob Ford is on the mother of all benders right now? I imagine he's up to his fat ass in booze, crack, poutine & hookers somewhere in Montreal.


I do believe his brother called that rehab.
 
2014-05-06 02:09:12 PM
I love this guy....he's the gift that keeps on giving.
 
2014-05-06 02:12:40 PM
It all boils down to a simple misunderstanding  . he thought they were suggesting "weed and absinthe", not a "leave of absence"

He's just off on the worlds best scavenger hunt right now.
 
2014-05-06 02:18:20 PM

GavinTheAlmighty: spawn73: His story kinda made sense though, if he's in rehab, it makes sense to not reveal the details till after the fact.

The problem is that Ford no longer gets the benefit of the doubt for anything.  If he wants anyone to believe he's in rehab, he's going to have to prove it ahead of time so that it can be verified with the clinic.

Nobody who is sane actually believed that he was going to rehab anyway.  Everyone knows he just took the customary 30-day get-the-heat-off-you route and claimed "rehab".


What was he trying to do in USA anyway?

But no he doesn't get any benefit of doubt, though, if he turns up 30 days from now from some kind of rehab, well good for him.

/I think rehab takes longer than 30 days. Is he actually additected, in that he gets cravings if he's not high? His problem seems to be beyond the scope of just getting it out of his system.
 
2014-05-06 02:22:22 PM
I called this in the last RoFo thread.

Just saying.
 
2014-05-06 02:26:53 PM

spawn73: What was he trying to do in USA anyway?

But no he doesn't get any benefit of doubt, though, if he turns up 30 days from now from some kind of rehab, well good for him.

/I think rehab takes longer than 30 days. Is he actually additected, in that he gets cravings if he's not high? His problem seems to be beyond the scope of just getting it out of his system.


The most plausible theory I've heard is that he was set to hide out in a family property in Chicago.  The family company has an office in Chicago so it wouldn't too difficult to set him up there (I don't know if there are actually any family properties in Chicago - I'm just guessing there are considering there's a Deco Labels office there).

I flat-out won't believe he went to rehab unless I see a receipt for his time there and I hear an official statement from someone who actually worked at the clinic.  And even then, I'll be suspicious.
 
2014-05-06 02:27:45 PM

GavinTheAlmighty: redheededstepchild: No one who knows of him will sell to him, so he's out looking for a drug dealer who doesn't know his face.

He has a considerable amount of money (so you can raise the prices), and everyone knows he's an addict, so being in a position to sell him drugs puts you in a position of power over him.  Believe me, there are lots of local drug dealers who will still sell to him.


Rob Ford and his family was dealing drugs themselves back in the day - I'm sure he has all the connections he needs to score whatever he wants.
 
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