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(Fark)   What things have been said to you after sex?   (fark.com) divider line 269
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384 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 06 May 2014 at 10:51 AM (16 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



269 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-06 10:02:06 AM
Thank you, may I have another?
 
2014-05-06 10:02:32 AM
"Why the hell did you pee everywhere?!"
 
2014-05-06 10:02:35 AM
"There, now get off me".
 
2014-05-06 10:03:01 AM
"Well ... that happened."
 
2014-05-06 10:03:23 AM
Can I finish watching my show now?
 
2014-05-06 10:03:30 AM
"that's it?"
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-05-06 10:03:44 AM
"let's order pizza"

UNF

just

UNF
 
2014-05-06 10:03:54 AM
Thank God that's over with...
 
2014-05-06 10:04:00 AM

birdmanesq: "Well ... that happened."


I get that one a lot :(
 
2014-05-06 10:04:35 AM
"Get out".
 
2014-05-06 10:05:04 AM
"Again?"
 
2014-05-06 10:05:16 AM
Why the f*ck did you just throw a box of tissues at me?
 
2014-05-06 10:05:22 AM
That'll do, pig. That'll do.

/oblig
 
2014-05-06 10:05:31 AM
I was once told my jizz smelled like cake batter.
 
2014-05-06 10:05:38 AM
"Now go clean your room before your father gets home".
 
2014-05-06 10:05:56 AM
I typically leave my partners speechless.
 
2014-05-06 10:06:27 AM
"They have pills for that, you know".
 
2014-05-06 10:06:33 AM
"That was fun. You should bring the mouse suit home more often."
 
2014-05-06 10:07:28 AM
"Don't fall in love with me."

Dickbag.
 
2014-05-06 10:07:34 AM
"Where the hell did you learn to fark? Clown college??"
 
2014-05-06 10:07:35 AM
"Welcome! You get the top bunk and our block's time in the exercise yard is 2:00".
 
2014-05-06 10:08:02 AM

LlamaGirl: "Why the hell did you pee everywhere?!"


lol
 
2014-05-06 10:08:10 AM

LlamaGirl: "Why the hell did you pee everywhere?!"


I got "jesus christ you should have at least warned me so you didn't ruin my comforter"

I farking CRIED.  I was mortified and so ashamed.
 
2014-05-06 10:08:12 AM
Actually, I did have one guy say I rated an "8" in my farking skills.

...

Unfortunately, it was on a scale of 1 to 100.  :(
 
2014-05-06 10:08:12 AM
"I should go in case another incoming round comes in here tomorrow"

or

"I hope that was ok. I've never done full penetration before"
 
2014-05-06 10:08:17 AM
"Well, that was disgusting".
 
2014-05-06 10:08:19 AM
"We're you humming "Mmm, Bop"?!
 
2014-05-06 10:08:52 AM

casey.lurvs.bacon: I got "jesus christ you should have at least warned me so you didn't ruin my comforter"

I farking CRIED. I was mortified and so ashamed.


You can pee all over my bed any time honey. I would never be mean to you like that jerkhole was.
 
2014-05-06 10:09:04 AM
"Can I finally put this Captain America shield down?"
 
2014-05-06 10:09:11 AM

KingoftheCheese: "That was fun. You should bring the mouse suit home more often."


All kinds of wrong...
 
2014-05-06 10:09:24 AM
Did I hurt you?
 
2014-05-06 10:09:53 AM

kxs401: "Don't fall in love with me."

Dickbag.


Did you immediately punch him in the dick?  You absolutely should have.
 
2014-05-06 10:10:07 AM
Do you have an ice pack?
 
2014-05-06 10:10:12 AM

casey.lurvs.bacon: LlamaGirl: "Why the hell did you pee everywhere?!"

I got "jesus christ you should have at least warned me so you didn't ruin my comforter"

I farking CRIED.  I was mortified and so ashamed.


Oh my god. The last time I was in Las Vegas, I went back to Some Dude's apartment in Henderson (not the smartest or safest thing, I realize now but hey, tequila!) and sh*t was crazy.

The next morning I realized his comforter was suede. We did not peel the comforter back before any of the bedroom activities.

I'm pretty sure he had to throw that one away. It looked... it looked, well, like something sticky. And stained.
 
2014-05-06 10:10:26 AM

LlamaGirl: casey.lurvs.bacon: I got "jesus christ you should have at least warned me so you didn't ruin my comforter"

I farking CRIED. I was mortified and so ashamed.

You can pee all over my bed any time honey. I would never be mean to you like that jerkhole was.


Thank you Llama.  I'd like to know that I can pee without being judged.
 
2014-05-06 10:10:33 AM

casey.lurvs.bacon: LlamaGirl: "Why the hell did you pee everywhere?!"

I got "jesus christ you should have at least warned me so you didn't ruin my comforter"

I farking CRIED.  I was mortified and so ashamed.


Hell I would have chalked that up as a win. He must have been a douche.
 
2014-05-06 10:11:00 AM
"I have to go in an hour. How long will it take you to recover?"
 
2014-05-06 10:11:03 AM

casey.lurvs.bacon: LlamaGirl: "Why the hell did you pee everywhere?!"

I got "jesus christ you should have at least warned me so you didn't ruin my comforter"

I farking CRIED.  I was mortified and so ashamed.


Fun fact:  When a girl comes, it can actually feel like you're going to pee; and many mistake it for pee when a girl actually DOES squirt.

TMYK

/I read it somewhere, once...
 
2014-05-06 10:11:06 AM

Al_Ed: "Now go clean your room before your father gets home".


ahahahahahahahahaa
 
2014-05-06 10:11:37 AM
"Here's your money".
 
2014-05-06 10:11:37 AM

xanadian: "Where the hell did you learn to fark? Clown college??"


I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way.
 
2014-05-06 10:12:01 AM
mmmphhpmmpphhmphh!

It's like you can't understand a word anyone says when duct tape is involved.
 
2014-05-06 10:12:16 AM
"Next time, let's not use the Zesty Italian."
 
2014-05-06 10:13:08 AM
"Sorry, it's been a while."

For real.
 
2014-05-06 10:13:16 AM
Oh said to ME?

"Leave the money on the nightstand."
 
2014-05-06 10:13:27 AM

KingoftheCheese: "Next time, let's not use the Zesty Italian."


He can use what the fark ever he wants to, KoTC.

www.rick.com
 
2014-05-06 10:13:27 AM
I need a snack.
 
2014-05-06 10:13:45 AM
This a serious one that made me sad...

"It felt like you were hammering my ovaries".

Thanks...
 
2014-05-06 10:13:52 AM
"Next time, don't use your teeth. Now, get me a bandaid, there is an awful lot of blood".
 
2014-05-06 10:14:15 AM
"You wanna go get some pizza and wings?"

She was the one...she was the one.
 
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