medius: for shiats and giggles
Theaetetus: Six to eight hours after being swallowed-about the time food would reach the lower part of the digestive system-the Vibrant pill begins pulsating three to five times a second. The action is controlled by an external base unit and can be adjusted from a slight tingle to what the manufacturer refers to as "riding a Harley over cobblestones." The Vibrant pill is being developed in connection with a joint research agreement with Playboy Enterprises, Inc.
Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Forget that. I've developed my own system:[img.fark.net image 500x372]Just before bed, you ingest the easy to swallow medicinal sphere. The next morning, the sphere will be naturally and safely "ejected". Use the specially designed tether to gently pull the cleansing implement through your digestive tract.BAM! Clean as a whistle!
MrHappyRotter: Increases pooping from twice a week to four times a week? Wow. If I didn't poop every day at least once, I would feel like I am about to explode. In fact, I'm pooping right this moment. That's my secret, though, I'm always pooping.
reported: Wouldn't sticking one of those vibrating egg balls up your ass accomplish much the same thing in less time?
jthan9: There are people that only poop 2 times a week? Damn.
radarlove: reported: Wouldn't sticking one of those vibrating egg balls up your ass accomplish much the same thing in less time?CSB:I used to work graveyard shift at a seedy sex shop, the kind with an arcade. And we sold those vibrating eggs of which you speak. Well local law says the arcade has to close at midnight, so come 12 we order everyone out via the PA and chain it off. Now it came down on me to clean that vile arcade every night, but being the only person in the shop I liked to put if off until around 3am, when I knew the bar rush would be over so I wouldn't have to worry about drunks and shoplifters while up to my ankles in piss and jizz. Well this one night I'm back there, and it was kind of already a spooky foggy night, and one of the booths was still locked. This happens all the time, sometimes dumbasses just lock the door when exiting. So I take out my keys and unlock it and boy-howdy wouldn't ya know it......IT'S A HUMAN farkING CORPSE- needle hanging from his arm and the wired controller unit for one of those eggs DANGLING FROM HIS ASS. And it was STILL GOING STRONG. You could hear the low hum.So of course I throw my hands up and yell "AGAIN?!" and dial emergency services. Well everyone shows up, because that's how they do things these days, and now the tiny arcade in my tiny store is packed with cops, firefighters, paramedics, me, and a pantsless in flagrante delicto copse. It's at this time that one of the paramedics decides it would be the best course of action to remove the mechanized object. Seeing him beginning to tug on the cord, I'm only able to get out a, "Ummmm, maybe we sho..." but it was too late. The claymore had already been triggered.***KA-BOOM!!!***With a force that I can only describe as pulverizing, several days worth of constipated junkie excretia- having been shaken loose for many hours by the vibrating egg and the relaxing muscles of the corpse- blasted from within the insides of the dearly departed perv, covering a ...
Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: [www.hotflick.net image 850x478]"No, I want to. Anal's great for when you're constipated. It totally loosens you up."
radarlove: jthan9: There are people that only poop 2 times a week? Damn.I actually only poop once a week but I also eat verrrrrrrrrry little.
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