Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Reason Magazine)   Vegas cops tell teenagers pre-marital sex leads to DEATH   (reason.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, Las Vegas, sexually transmitted infections, Metro Police Department, premarital sex  
•       •       •

5971 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 May 2014 at 4:25 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



81 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-05-05 03:00:58 PM  
But generally only when the cops burst in and shoot you, because reasons.
 
2014-05-05 03:02:05 PM  
So does pretty much anything.  Nobody gets out alive.
 
2014-05-05 03:32:58 PM  
Horror movies taught me that lesson decades ago.
 
2014-05-05 03:40:44 PM  
"Pre-marital sex means death".  That's right up there with "pot causes schizophrenia" in terms of getting children to realize you are completely full of nonsense.
 
2014-05-05 03:43:41 PM  

img.fark.net

 
2014-05-05 04:26:08 PM  
You're doing it wrong.
 
2014-05-05 04:26:26 PM  
In Vegas, maybe it does.
 
2014-05-05 04:28:45 PM  
That is why you stick in her pooper.

Safer.  Better for the environment.
 
2014-05-05 04:29:47 PM  
Came to cover The Doors; see it's already covered.
 
2014-05-05 04:29:54 PM  
Come on! We all know that teens only engage in auto-erotic asphyxiation.
 
2014-05-05 04:31:23 PM  
I guarantee that if you have sex you will die.
 
2014-05-05 04:32:59 PM  

Devil's Playground: I guarantee that if you have sex you will die.


This means farkers are immortal, right?  RIGHT?!
 
2014-05-05 04:32:59 PM  
Another shining example of just how credible police are.
 
2014-05-05 04:34:09 PM  

12349876: Devil's Playground: I guarantee that if you have sex you will die.

This means farkers are immortal, right?  RIGHT?!



Until skewered by a unicorn.
 
2014-05-05 04:34:09 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: "Pre-marital sex means death".  That's right up there with "pot causes schizophrenia" in terms of getting children to realize you are completely full of nonsense.


It's a very important lesson for children to learn.  The sooner they realize they're being lied to, the sooner they begin to think for themselves.  So yeah, over the top is good for the children.
 
2014-05-05 04:35:18 PM  
Especially with his daughters, right?
 
2014-05-05 04:35:58 PM  
...the fark do cops care about teens having sex?  What business is it of theirs, anyway?
 
2014-05-05 04:35:59 PM  
Pre-marital sex also leads to LIFE.
 
2014-05-05 04:36:55 PM  
with a lot of cops, death is a pretty likely result with any interaction they are involved in.  even if it might be a tethered dog.
 
2014-05-05 04:37:22 PM  

dittybopper: So does pretty much anything.  Nobody gets out alive.


This. Pre-marital sex will kill me, but it will take time. Several decades, FSM willing.
 
2014-05-05 04:38:31 PM  

Devil's Playground: I guarantee that if you have sex you will die.


Bowlowknee.  I've had sex twice and I've never died, ever.
 
2014-05-05 04:38:52 PM  
It sometimes leads to marriage, so, in that sense, he is correct...
 
2014-05-05 04:38:56 PM  

Devil's Playground: I guarantee that if you have sex you will die.


I guarantee that if you DON"T have sex you will die.
 
2014-05-05 04:39:25 PM  

K3rmy: That is why you stick in her pooper.

Safer.  Better for the environment.


Not when it's the daughter of a cop.
 
2014-05-05 04:39:35 PM  
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
 
2014-05-05 04:39:55 PM  
Only if you do it right
 
2014-05-05 04:40:15 PM  
I'm not one for safe sex, but these beauties make my heart pound.
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-05 04:40:17 PM  

Obryn: It sometimes leads to marriage, so, in that sense, he is correct...


A fate worse than death.
 
2014-05-05 04:41:09 PM  

Snarfangel: 12349876: Devil's Playground: I guarantee that if you have sex you will die.

This means farkers are immortal, right?  RIGHT?!


Until skewered by a unicorn.


img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-05-05 04:41:46 PM  
So they think the cops put on a poor show by unrelated fear mongering (which, they did) and not mentioning actual consequences of unsafe sex, but adding educational help for LGBTQ kids is "drivel that shouldn't exist"? So, teach kids safe sex, unless they're gay cuz they shouldn't be having sex. Sounds good.
 
2014-05-05 04:42:39 PM  

Aar1012: K3rmy: That is why you stick in her pooper.

Safer.  Better for the environment.

Not when it's the daughter of a cop.


<thinks back>

Yes, yes, I actually have stuck it in a cop's daughter's pooper.  Still alive, and that was many years ago.
 
2014-05-05 04:46:01 PM  

Sybarite: Horror movies taught me that lesson decades ago.


img2.wikia.nocookie.net

Approves.
 
2014-05-05 04:46:35 PM  

DarkVader: Marcus Aurelius: "Pre-marital sex means death".  That's right up there with "pot causes schizophrenia" in terms of getting children to realize you are completely full of nonsense.

It's a very important lesson for children to learn.  The sooner they realize they're being lied to, the sooner they begin to think for themselves.  So yeah, over the top is good for the children.


Used to love the catholic girls back at university.

The nuns had told them that they'd go to hell if they kissed a boy before marriage

Once they found out that was. not. true it was all on for young and old
 
2014-05-05 04:48:36 PM  
Cops have always been cockblockers. I found that out from the backseat of the old station wagon in high school.
 
2014-05-05 04:51:00 PM  
i58.tinypic.com
 
2014-05-05 04:55:27 PM  

Big_Fat_Liar: Devil's Playground: I guarantee that if you have sex you will die.

Bowlowknee.  I've had sex twice and I've never died, ever.


Oh, you poor soul.
 
2014-05-05 04:58:10 PM  
really now? lets see those arguments from the article:

1. Sexual assault:   WRONG , this can happen even if you are a virgin waiting for marriage.

2. Gangs : WRONG   whether your sexually active generally is not a major factor in becoming a gang member, mind Gang members mighthave more sex then non gang members but as i was never part of a gang i would not know.

3.  Drugs: Wrong.  Drug use can lead to sex, Sex generally does not lead to drug use.

4. Prostitution:   1/2 credit  under certain circumstance might lead to this but generally the reason girls and women become involved with this is not due to their sexual activities.
 
2014-05-05 04:59:20 PM  
Well if they are driving a car at the time sure it can kill ya.
 
2014-05-05 04:59:45 PM  

EVERYTHING LEADS TO DEATH

 
2014-05-05 05:00:49 PM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: ...the fark do cops care about teens having sex?  What business is it of theirs, anyway?


Because religion. Seriously. A church reached out to them to do this according to TFA.
 
2014-05-05 05:00:54 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: "Pre-marital sex means death".  That's right up there with "pot causes schizophrenia" in terms of getting children to realize you are completely full of nonsense.


i58.tinypic.com
 
2014-05-05 05:01:04 PM  
How does abstainence prevent sexual assault? I imagine most people try to abstain from that.
 
2014-05-05 05:01:39 PM  
Yea. Eventually.
 
2014-05-05 05:02:13 PM  
We are all dying, every moment that passes of every day. That is the inescapable truth of this existence. It is a truth that can paralyze us with fear, or one that can energize us with impatience, with the desire to explore and experience [intercourse], with the hope- nay, the iron-will!- to find a memory in every action.
 
gja
2014-05-05 05:03:11 PM  

dittybopper: So does pretty much anything.  Nobody gets out alive.


Popped in here to say this^^^^^^
It all leads to death......eventually.
Some things speed up the destination, like "stupid".
 
2014-05-05 05:03:27 PM  
I submitted this yesterday without CAPS and definitely without the dumb REASON.COM source. I wonder if Fark gets paid by Reason. I have no other explanation for why someone would willingly read that garbage.
 
2014-05-05 05:04:14 PM  
The Cops aren't wrong about premarital sex leading to death. Just ask 17 year old Johran McCormick - oh wait, nevermind.
 
2014-05-05 05:07:07 PM  
They should form some kind of committee for the promotion of virtue and the prevention of vice.
 
2014-05-05 05:07:57 PM  
I saw the teacher and the principal in the closet making babies and one of the babies looked at me

/then, everybody died
 
2014-05-05 05:09:52 PM  

Sybarite: Horror movies taught me that lesson decades ago.


Also, always hide in the closet.

img.fark.net
 
Displayed 50 of 81 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report