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(Deslidefied)   52 famous people who (probably) have herpes. Apparently Derek Jeter has been passing out more that just a few gift baskets (link deslided for your enjoyment)   (deslide.clusterfake.net ) divider line
    More: Scary  
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8849 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 May 2014 at 9:53 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-05 08:53:25 AM  
That is the weirdest list slash story ever
 
2014-05-05 09:45:31 AM  
Let me guess: Everyone?
 
2014-05-05 09:52:08 AM  
 
2014-05-05 09:58:42 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: Let me guess: Everyone?


www.hotflick.net
 
2014-05-05 10:00:15 AM  
Serial adulterer Bill Clinton is rumored to have herpes.

*eyeroll*
 
2014-05-05 10:00:48 AM  
Holy fark, Jeter.
 
2014-05-05 10:07:52 AM  
Whats with the profile for each name?

DOB:
Employment:
Friends:

It's like a gossip story written by a serial stalker.
 
2014-05-05 10:12:04 AM  
Millions of people have herpes simplex 1, the cold sore, which serves as an excellent early warning system, portending an oncoming cold.
 
2014-05-05 10:15:25 AM  

Chris Ween: That is the weirdest list slash story ever


Danger Mouse: Whats with the profile for each name?

DOB:
Employment:
Friends:

It's like a gossip story written by a serial stalker.


Or someone with a grudge against Hollywood.
 
2014-05-05 10:15:40 AM  

Danger Mouse: Whats with the profile for each name?

DOB:
Employment:
Friends:

It's like a gossip story written by a serial stalker.


Or a TFD lurker.
 
2014-05-05 10:23:24 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: Let me guess: Everyone?


img.fark.net
 
2014-05-05 10:28:16 AM  
Honestly though, what type of shiatbag are you if you have herpese and have unprotected sex with someone?
 
2014-05-05 10:29:47 AM  
Good God. It's like a virus-laden round of "Six Degrees of Derek Jeter".
 
2014-05-05 10:40:29 AM  
Just commenting to voice that I'd prefer if the entertainment tab didn't become the magazine stand in grocery store checkout lanes.
 
2014-05-05 10:44:33 AM  

Danger Mouse: Honestly though, what type of shiatbag are you if you have herpese and have unprotected sex with someone?


Depending on location, condoms aren't going to be effective protections against herpes.
 
2014-05-05 10:47:11 AM  

Danger Mouse: Honestly though, what type of shiatbag are you if you have herpese and have unprotected sex with someone?


Professional baseball player, apparently.
 
2014-05-05 10:51:31 AM  

Kiler: Danger Mouse: Honestly though, what type of shiatbag are you if you have herpese and have unprotected sex with someone?

Depending on location, condoms aren't going to be effective protections against herpes.


 What does location have to do with it? Does it matter if I'm in NYC or Ohio?
 
2014-05-05 10:55:54 AM  

Danger Mouse: Kiler: Danger Mouse: Honestly though, what type of shiatbag are you if you have herpese and have unprotected sex with someone?

Depending on location, condoms aren't going to be effective protections against herpes.

 What does location have to do with it? Does it matter if I'm in NYC or Ohio?


South Hemisphere. Coriolis effect. Duh.
 
2014-05-05 10:56:59 AM  
At some time last year, there was a post about this, and someone linked to a flow chart connecting everyone, and to see Jeter as the patient zero was both funny, and sad.
 
2014-05-05 11:02:46 AM  
Well that's it! I'm NOT going to have sex with any of them!
 
2014-05-05 11:03:36 AM  
Alternate Title: 52 Chances to Get Sued for Defamation
 
2014-05-05 11:08:27 AM  
Why did I need to know this?

Is Jeter  why they had to tear down the old Yankee Stadium?  Did half of New York end up with the Jeter-strain from the seats?

Give the gift of love that keeps on giving!!
 
2014-05-05 11:08:59 AM  

Danger Mouse: Kiler: Danger Mouse: Honestly though, what type of shiatbag are you if you have herpese and have unprotected sex with someone?

Depending on location, condoms aren't going to be effective protections against herpes.

 What does location have to do with it? Does it matter if I'm in NYC or Ohio?


I really hope this was intentionally funny otherwise it catapults to hysterical.
 
2014-05-05 11:19:43 AM  
I caught the herp from Derek Jeter too.
 
2014-05-05 11:20:01 AM  
Phew, what a relief! I had sex with Megan Fox over the weekend and I was so afraid she was going to be on this list.
 
2014-05-05 11:23:25 AM  
Mangoose

I really hope this was intentionally funny otherwise it catapults to hysterical.

I had to stop reading, I was laughing too hard.  Has to be made-up for laughs.
 
2014-05-05 11:27:58 AM  
Derek Jeter is freaking patient zero.
 
2014-05-05 11:36:07 AM  
dont have Sandra Bernhard....Don't have Sandra Bernhard...Oh please don't have Sandra Bearnhard (reads list). Whew!
 
2014-05-05 11:40:30 AM  

2 grams: dont have Sandra Bernhard....Don't have Sandra Bernhard...Oh please don't have Sandra Bearnhard (reads list). Whew!


If you had sex with that troll, you have bigger problems than Herpes.
 
2014-05-05 11:48:18 AM  
Eh, not like I ever had a chance of even meeting Scarlet or Jessica.
 
2014-05-05 11:49:25 AM  
If you have ever taken any mode of public transportation (e.g. taxi, subway, airplane, trolley car), you are infected with both types of herpes.
 
2014-05-05 11:57:56 AM  
Herpes is actually a precursor virus necessary for the successful release of the Zombie virus.   It's why the government wants everything to be all "abstinence only" and is so wigged out about condoms.    If you wrap it up and don't get the herp, they cant turn you into a zombie slave.

It's all part of the plan, man.
 
2014-05-05 12:00:49 PM  
FTFA:

    Birthplace: Contiguous United States, United States of America, Pequannock, New Jersey, DVD Region 1

Well...  Good to know.
 
2014-05-05 12:17:28 PM  
Shame on you, Orlando Blood.
 
2014-05-05 12:18:09 PM  

Crewmannumber6: 2 grams: dont have Sandra Bernhard....Don't have Sandra Bernhard...Oh please don't have Sandra Bearnhard (reads list). Whew!

If you had sex with that troll, you have bigger problems than Herpes.


I am never driniking tequila again.
 
2014-05-05 12:19:20 PM  
That list was surprisingly tough to masturbate to.
 
2014-05-05 12:20:12 PM  
Herp derp herp
 
2014-05-05 12:28:49 PM  

420Gabriel: That list was surprisingly tough to masturbate to.
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

 
2014-05-05 12:29:20 PM  

someonelse: Shame on you, Orlando Blood.


By transitive property (and the logic used in the slideshow) shouldn't Miranda Kerr be on that list too...
 
2014-05-05 12:32:50 PM  

moistD: someonelse: Shame on you, Orlando Blood.

By transitive property (and the logic used in the slideshow) shouldn't Miranda Kerr be on that list too...


Couldn't we also, more or less, deduce the period in time in which Jeter actually contracted herp by seeing who isn't on the list?
 
2014-05-05 12:37:08 PM  

Mangoose: moistD: someonelse: Shame on you, Orlando Blood.

By transitive property (and the logic used in the slideshow) shouldn't Miranda Kerr be on that list too...

Couldn't we also, more or less, deduce the period in time in which Jeter actually contracted herp by seeing who isn't on the list?


not to kill the fun of this thread but it would be impossible to determine the point of origin.  We have no idea how long Jeter has been carrying herpes. Was it caught in high school, college, AAA, majors, celebrity, call girl, who knows! All we could prove is that we know definitely that from this point on (the first celebrity he was tied to with herpes) anyone he has been with is most likely carrying it now as well.
 
WGJ [TotalFark]
2014-05-05 12:38:04 PM  
"You have...herpes on your..head?" "Of  course I have it on my head! Where else would you have it - on your  dick?"
 
2014-05-05 12:45:34 PM  

LeroyBourne: Derek Jeter is freaking patient zero.


His back of his uniform shirt should just look like this:


Patient


0

 
2014-05-05 12:49:42 PM  
Jeff Goldblum reeks of herpes.
 
2014-05-05 12:58:44 PM  

Kiler: Danger Mouse: Honestly though, what type of shiatbag are you if you have herpese and have unprotected sex with someone?

Depending on location, condoms aren't going to be effective protections against herpes.


Where else do put the condom?
 
2014-05-05 01:00:29 PM  
80% of the population has oral herpes.... 20% has genital.
 
2014-05-05 01:01:19 PM  

Mangoose: moistD: someonelse: Shame on you, Orlando Blood.

By transitive property (and the logic used in the slideshow) shouldn't Miranda Kerr be on that list too...

Couldn't we also, more or less, deduce the period in time in which Jeter actually contracted herp by seeing who isn't on the list?


I was wondering if the wash the towels in cold water at Yankee Stadium.
 
2014-05-05 01:06:44 PM  
Mariah Carey dated Da Brat? I didn't know she played for both teams....

NTTAWWT
 
2014-05-05 01:07:32 PM  

T.rex: 80% of the population has oral herpes.... 20% has genital.


Therefore, 15% of the population has both oral and genital herpes. I majored in math.
 
2014-05-05 01:13:27 PM  
Well that settles it. I will NOT be farking Derek Jeter any time soon.
 
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